"Funny Face (Challenge No.08 winner)" By fluffstory (https://pastebin.com/u/fluffstory) URL: https://pastebin.com/rhiYifAj Created on: Sunday 8th of December 2019 05:56:34 AM CDT Retrieved on: Friday 30 of October 2020 11:22:57 AM UTC RevMe, January 3, 2013; 01:07 / FB 7908 ======================================================================================================================================= FUNNY FACE > You're a fluffy pony! > And your daddy even says you're a pretty clever fella! > Silly daddy! > Your name is Sparks! > Your daddy loves you, but he doesn't like one thing that you do. > He doesn't seem to understand that you know where there's special yummy salty nummies! > It's... > Get ready for this.... > IN YOUR NOSIE ALL THIS TIME! > Daddy thinks this is disgusting. > You're not sure what this means, but you know it's bad. > But how could something so good be bad? > Still... you want to be a good fluffy. > Daddy said it's something called the "noo yeer" > And that people make... resoolooshuns at the noo yeer. > Daddy says it's a promise to yourself to do something or not do something. > That's silly, making a promise to yourself. > But Daddy said he was gonna try to stop the paper sticky things from going all burny in his mouth. > And he said you should resoolooshuns to stop eating your nosie candy! > ... > You don't get why you'd make that promise to yourself, but Daddy wants you to so you will. > It's hard going though. > Your tongue can get right up in there! > "Daddeh.... how Spawks nu eat nosie candy?" > "Well, whenever you think about it, try thinking of something else." > "...o...tay?" > And then you thought of the nosie candy! > But... oh, oh... there's your toy bear! > But.... BUT BEARY HAS A NOSIE!! > NUUUUUUUUU!! > "Daddeh!! Nu wok!! Beawy hab nosie! Wan nosie candy!!" > "Another thing you can do is try to make it difficult to get to. I've thrown my cigarettes on top of the refrigerator where I can't reach!" > "...o...o...tay...." > You toddle off to your saferoom to give this some more thought. > Stupid nosie! > If it weren't there, you wouldn't have to worry about it! > Wait... > If your nosie weren't there... > You got it! > You sit back on your poopie place and put your head down and grab your nosie with your hoofsies! > And you pull.... > And you pull.... > And you pull.... > And it pops right off! > Yaaaay! > You're about to go hide it, when you look in the mirror. > "NUUU!! MUNSTA!! NUUU.... waaait... dat Spawks! Siwwy Spawks! But Spawks wook wike munsta wit nu nosie..." > You think... > And you think.... > And you think... > and you get an idea! > Your weggies look kinda like nosies! > So you grab one of your front weggies with your mouth and pull... > And pull.... > And pull... > And it pops right off! > You put it down on the floor and push your face into it, and it pops right in place! > You look up in the mirror... > Dashing! > So now, you need a weggie... and if a weggie looks like a nosie, then a nosie must look like a weggie! > So you push your nosie up, and push down with the spot where the weggie was, and it too clicks right into place! > Yaaaay! > Time to play ball! > Or maybe blockies! > You waddle over to your toybox... > ...but it's slow going. > Your new nosie-weggie is a bit too short... > AND it keeps leaking boo-boo juice on the floor! > This is no good at all... > So you pull your weggie-nosie back off and your nosie-weggie back off, and put the weggie back so it's a weggie-weggie again! > But that's still no good... > And ALL THIS ABOUT NOSIES IS MAKING YOU WANT CANDY AGAIN! > NUUUUUUUUU!!! > You better think of a plan and fast! > You don't know how long you can hold out! > You're not strong like Daddy! > Daddy.... > Waaait... > Daddy has weird fluff on his face... > He calls it a mus-dash! > It kinda looks like a tail! > THAT'S IT! > So you set your nosie down again and start pulling on your tail... > It's harder going. > You've got to roll yourself up like a ball the best you can. > Hee! > Balls are fun! > No! > Focus! > You grab your tail and you pull... > ...and you pull.... > and you pulll.... > And it finally pops off! Yaaay! > You put it in where your nosie was. > It tickles a bit, but when you look in the mirror, you think there's another fluffy there who looks very dapper. > Then you realize that fluffy is you! > Then you realize that you don't know what dapper means. > But it sure seems to fit. > So, with that... you figure that with your nosie as your new tail, you won't even be able to REACH the nosie candy anyway! > So you set up the nosie and sit on it! > It pops back into place... > ....except.... > You sniff. > And you sniff. > NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! > ALL YOU CAN SMELL IS POOPIES!!!!!!!!! > NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!! > NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!! > You scramble as best you can to pull off your nosie-tail. > It's very difficult as it's even shorter than your tail-tail was. > But you gotta get rid of the poopie smell! > It's SOOOOOO not pretty! > By some stroke of luck, you get a grasp on your nosie-tail and pull it off. > You also pull off your tail-nosie, and put that back. > Bye bye, dapper Sparks. > But it's worth it to not smell poopies. > But you're still with the trouble of the nosie. > At least right now you're almost sickies from the bad poopies smell. > So you have no desire to eat anything, let alone the good nosie candy. > You look around your saferoom to see if you can figure something out. > You... > YOU GOT IT! > You find an old cup and ball set and you put the cup where your nosie was. > PERFECT! > You come out of the saferoom to show Daddy how good you are! > You're carrying your old nosie in your mouth, but with the candy-holes away so he doesn't think you're breaking your resoolooshun promise to yourself! > That's what a bad fluffy would do! > And you're a good fluffy! > You try so hard! > You spit out your nosie at Daddy's feet. > "Daddeh put Spawks nosie wit burny paper stickies on top of fwigidata?" > Your daddy looks at you. > You look at him. > "Whu? Spawks duu wat daddeh say an make nosie candy hawd tu get tuu! Spawks guu fwuffy! Spawks duu wesoowooshuwn!" > "Uh... yes. That is good. But... you know what? If it was this hard for you, maybe you should be able to eat the candy. Just don't do it while I watch, OK?" > "OTAY! Spawks hab nosie back den?" > "....sure." > You pull off the cup and pop your old nosie back in place! > Nuu yeer is a fun time but it sure is strange!