"Fluffspeak - A Primer" By fluffstory (https://pastebin.com/u/fluffstory) URL: https://pastebin.com/1xS2yN0w Created on: Thursday 1st of October 2020 10:37:02 AM CDT Last edit on: Thursday 1st of October 2020 10:38:32 AM CDT Retrieved on: Friday 30 of October 2020 11:18:19 AM UTC Feyascia, September 18, 2015; 20:39 / FB 33576 ======================================================================================================================================= Fluffspeak - A Primer By Fey **************** Fluffies were designed to be friendly, happy, and absurdly cute (for some board director's idea of 'cute'). As a result, fluffykind uses a peculiar English dialect dubbed Fluffspeak. The following rules and examples are intended to help content creators create 'cutesy', readable, and canon-consistent speech for their fluffies. (For the sake of reducing clutter, I have forgone the convention of using quotation marks to denote quoted words and have instead employed underlining.) **************** PRIMARY FLUFFSPEAK **************** 01: THE GOLDEN RULE OF FLUFFSPEAK - Replace each and every "r" and "l" with a "w". - (And replace each and every "R" and "L" with a "W".) - This is the primary fluffy lisp, the minimum requirement for qualifying as Fluffspeak. + THE GOLDEN COROLLARY OF FLUFFSPEAK - Do NOT add any extra "w"s or "W"s beyond those added for THE GOLDEN RULE. + FWUFFY NAMES - 90% of all fluffy names contain at least one "r" or "l" in its human pronunciation. It is hilarious and adorable when a fluffy can't even say its own name right. 02: THE PHYRITIC RULE OF FLUFFSPEAK - Be consistent! Whichever speech rules you use in a universe (which can be as small as an isolated story), apply those rules for all Fluffspeak in that verse. - THE PHYRITIC RULE can be broken by particular, established cases: regional dialects, a fluffy of unusual intelligence, a fluffy taught words by a human or a wise mentor, etc. If you do something like that, then the speech patterns of each group/individual need to be kept consistent unless something happens to change them. (After which, be consistent again until...) 03: THE SILVER RULE OF FLUFFSPEAK - Your Fluffspeak needs to be fluidly comprehensible to the reader. (speech from drunk fluffies and the like excluded) - If any words or sentences have been deformed beyond easy comprehension, lighten up on the deformations. - ALWAYS reread your Fluffspeak, preferably both in your head and out loud (turn your voice up a few octaves for best results). - This rule does NOT supersede THE GOLDEN RULE. 04: FLUFFIES DO NOT USE FIRST-PERSON SINGULAR PERSONAL PRONOUNS - "I", "me" - A fluffy will never use "I" or "me" to refer to itself. If a fluffy has a name, title, or descriptor ("Emewawd", "smawty", "mummah", etc) the fluffy can use that in their place. A fluffy can always use "fwuffy" to refer to itself. - In some canons, a named fluffy will always use "fwuffy" when lying. 05: FLUFFIES & OTHER FIRST-PERSON PERSONAL PRONOUNS - "us", "we"; "my", "mine"; "our", "ours" - It is greatly preferred that a fluffy not use the above words. Instead use a name, title, or descriptor: "fwuffy's", "smawty's", "Jewew's", etc; "fwuffies", "hewd", "famiwy", etc; "fwuffies'", "hewd's", "famiwy's", etc. 06: FLUFFIES & THIRD-PERSON SINGULAR PERSONAL PRONOUNS - "he", "she", "it"; "him", "her"; "his", "hers", "its" - It is preferred that a fluffy not use the above words. Instead replace them with a name, title, or descriptor: "fwuffy", "Daddeh", "nice wady", "bwuddah", etc; "fwuffy's", "Daddeh's", "nice wady's", "bwuddah's", etc. - The above words can be used if replacing them clutters up a sentence too much. 07: FLUFFIES & SECOND-PERSON PERSONAL PRONOUNS - "you"; "your" - Fluffies can use "yu" and "yuw". They are just as likely to use a name, title, or descriptor, though. - (I reason that the direct-address nature of "you" is simpler to grasp than third person pronouns ["you" always just means whomever the fluffy is talking to] and less abstract than first-person pronouns [a fluffy thinks of itself as a fluffy, not an 'I'].) ~ "Dis am yuw beddie" / "Dis am yu beddie" / "Dis am Wavenda's beddie." 08: BEING VERBS - "is", "am", "are", etc; + "will" - Fluffies frequently replace "is" or "are" with "am". ~ "We are sneaky." > "Fwuffies am sneakie!" ~ "This baby is a great baby." > "Dis babbeh am bestest babbeh." - Fluffies sometimes completely leave out "is", "are", "am", "will", etc. ~ "We are sneaky." > "Fwuffies sneakie!" ~ "This baby is a great baby." > "Dis babbeh bestest babbeh." ~ "I, Rex, will be the best fluffy ever." > "Wex be bestest fwuffy evah!" 09: ARTICLES - "a", "an", "the" - Fluffies sometimes leave out articles. ~ "But I am not a toy." > "But fwuffy nu am toy..." 10: NOT TO BE - When a fluffy is saying that subject Y is not thing/quality X; it usually takes the form of "Y nu [is/am/transitive verb] X". ~ "This is not spaghetti." > "Dis nu am sketties!" ~ "[This] foal smells bad." > "Babbeh nu smeww pwetty." ~ "I am not a mother anymore." > "Fwuffy nu am mummah nu mowe! Huuhuuhuu!" 11: THE STANDARD FLUFFY DICTIONARY (AKA FLUFFYISMS) - Fluffies have a built-in (or otherwise universal) set of words for things and concepts that are expected to be common to the fluffy experience. A baby is a "babbeh", milk is "miwkies", water is "wawa", and so on. Fluffies can (by some canons) be taught other words for those common concepts, but these words are the default words a fluffy will use. - A larger list is given at the end of this document. 12: LURK MORE! - The best way to learn Fluffspeak is to read it. Go back and read some of the classic authors of the Booru. - There are all kinds of little things that can be done with Fluffspeak: dropping words, smushing two small words into a single word, alternate cutesy spellings, etc. Some options are listed below, but there are still other things that can be done. **************** OPTIONAL THINGS **************** + THE SILVER RULE applies heavily here. Do not deform words beyond recognition. + Many of the deformations here share similarities with various Fluffyisms; even if you don't use a general application of a deformation, retain the forms of related Fluffyisms. 13: FROM THERE TO DEWE - "th*" - For small, common words that begin with "th", Fluffspeak can replace the "th" with a "d" (also "Th" with "D"). - As with other letter replacements, it is important to not deform a word beyond recognition. Ex, turning "their" into "deiw" doesn't flow well. ~ "the" > "da", "de" ~ "this" > "dis" ~ "that" > "dat" ~ "they" > "dey" ~ "there" > "dewe" ~ "those" > "dose" ~ "these" > "dese" 14: NUUUUUUUU! - "*o", others - For small, common words that end in a long "o" or long "u" sound, that part of the word can be replaced with a "u". This softens the word and makes it more suitable to the high-pitched voice of the fluffy or makes the word look more 'cutesy'. ~ "to" > "tu" ~ "no" > "nu" ~ "so" > "su" ~ "go" > "gu" ~ "do" > "du" ~ "you" > "yu" ~ "new" > "nyu" ~ "know" > "knu", "kno", "no" 15: EH - "*y", others - If a word with two or more syllables ends with a long "e" sound, that part of the word can be replaced with "eh". ~ "kitty" > "kitteh" ~ "baby" > "babbeh" ~ "funny" > "funneh" ~ "runny" > "wunneh" ~ "daddy" > "daddeh" 16: AH - "*er" - If a word with two or more syllables ends with "er", the "er" can be replaced with "ah". ~ "litter" > "wittah" ~ "other" > "udah" (Applies multiple deformations. Very fancy) ~ "thriller" > "thwiwwah" ~ "bother" > "bothah" ~ "monster" > "munstah" 17: IE - Some words get an "ie" slapped on to the end because of cutesy. - Some words with this actually get "sie" to make the sounds fit; useful for words that end in a vowel sound. - Plurals are then made by placing an "s" on the end, even for nouns that are usually irregular. ~ "toy" > "toysie"; "toysies" ~ "hoof" > "hoofie"; "hoofies" ~ "block" > "bwockie"; "bwockies" ~ "grass" > "gwassie"; "gwassies" ~ "sheep" > "sheepie"; "sheepies" 18: COMBOS - Dependent on headcanon: fluffies understand the world through the limited concepts available to them, but these concepts fill few gaps in the wide and scary world. A fluffy may have to mash together two or more existing concepts to describe something. X plus Y = "X-Y". This can either result in a simple word mash (a new thing that is both X & Y) or, as I prefer, an entirely new and independent concept (a new thing that IS an X-Y) ~ Maybe fluffies don't naturally know what a car is. They do, however, know "metaw" (hard surface/material, can cause owwies) and "munstah" (scary, loud, mysterious). Combining the two gives them "metaw-munstah", a mysterious and powerful entity that is the fearsome predator of the black-rockies places. ~ A cloud can be a "sky-fwuffy". ~ A phone can be a "tawkie-boxie". ~ A dumpster can be a "nummies-boxie". ~ A forest can be a "twee-pwace" or a "big-twee-pwace". ~ Acid might be "meanie-buwnie-wawa", "meanie-huwtie-wawa", "huwtie-buwnie-wawa", or even "meanie-huwtie-buwnie-wawa". - The concepts these describe do not have to be completely unfamiliar concepts. Niche or particularly specific items work too. ~ A strike with a hoof is a "sowwy-hoofie". ~ Feces inside the litter box are "gud-poopies". 19: CONTRACTIONS - SILVER RULE; use sparingly - Some very-common words can be reduced by a few letters to make them sound more cutesy. ~ "or" > "o'" ~ "for" > "fo'" ~ "and" > "an'" ~ "*-ing" > "*-in'" ~ "away" > "'way" 20: SESQUIPEDALIANS - You've got some options when it comes to fluffies speaking long words. ~ Speak them normally with the usual fluffy lisp: "Sesquipedowians" ~ Break them down into shorter bits and speak slowly: "Ses-qui-ped-owi-ans" ~ Either of the above two, but horribly mangle it by the end: "Sesquipedocious", "Ses-qui-pe-doc-ious" ~ Have the fluffy stutter over it for a bit then switch to another word: "Ses-qui-pef...quid-pee...biggest wowdsies!" **************** DERPSPEAK **************** + Derped fluffies have a special kind of mental retardation. They commonly exhibit 'derped' eyes, non-sequitur thinking, and a particular brand of speech impediment. + The speech impediment is more marble-mouthed than the usual fluffy voice. Some headcanon has it that derped fluffies can't properly control their tongues. 21: DERB! - In Derpspeak, some consonants of some words are replaced with "b"s. Some "l"s are allowed. ~ "fwiend" > "fbwend" ~ "daddeh" > "dabbleh" ~ "babbeh" > "blabbeh" ~ "sketties" > "skebbies!" ~ "mummah" > "mubbah" ~ "nice mistah" > "nibe mibtuh" 22: DERPDERP! - Derped fluffies may sometimes remake simple words by doubling part of the word. - Plurals are then made by adding an "s" to the end of the remade word. ~ "bad" > "badbad" ~ "owwie" > "owow"; "owows" ~ "saddies" > "sadsads" ~ "nummie" > "numnum"; "numnums" 23: LERKMOAR - Derped fluffies can also variously screw up sentence structure, lose words, replace words with the wrong word, etc. Sometimes they completely replace a word in their internal 'dictionary'. - Derpspeak is wild and nuanced. Read stories with derped fluffies in them to learn their language. There are a lot of good ones, including a few great series. - THE SILVER RULE applies unless incomprehensibility of the derped fluffy is intentional. **************** FLUFFTHINK **************** + Fluffthink is used for a fluffy's internal thoughts and for the non-dialog narration of a story told from a fluffy's point-of-view. 24: THE MERCURIC RULE OF FLUFFTHINK - Do NOT follow THE GOLDEN RULE OF FLUFFSPEAK. - If a fluffy isn't vocalizing, don't use those extra "w"s; the "w" thing is a lisp, and you don't think with a lisp. - Really. It is a headache to read lisped narration. I used it in my first story, and it was a mess. Even if you can read it fine, most of your audience can NOT. 25: THE OBSIDIAN RULE OF FLUFFTHINK - DO use Fluffyisms. - Fluffyisms are the terms fluffies think in. A block to a fluffy IS a "blockie". (It then becomes "bwockie" when they speak and lisp it.) 26: SILVER AND GULD - Other than the two stated rules, things are flexible. - Fluffthink generally follows the primary Fluffspeak rules, but it doesn't have to. - Adherence to optional things used in Fluffspeak is even looser. - THE PHYRITIC and SILVER RULES hold sway here: be consistent WITHIN your Fluffthink and make it readable. 27: VISUALIZE - If you are drawing a pic and include a though-bubble with a small amount of Fluffthink, THE MERCURIC RULE can be ignored. - However, you can also turn the thought-bubble into a speech-bubble; fluffies babble frequently, saying whatever is on their mind as though they lack an internal monologue. This behavior may vary on how carefree a fluffy's life experiences have made it, though. **************** FLUFFYISMS **************** + As explained earlier, fluffies have a set of universally-altered words. Some are altered to sound 'cuter', and some are changed to disguise topics like death and sex from the marketed child demographic (and sometimes from the child-like fluffies themselves). + This list is NOT comprehensive + This list is NOT absolute. It's a good guide, but some listed Fluffyisms are more universal among headcanon than others. + Except for the 'Very Special Words', fluffies generally recognize and understand both the human and fluffy forms of a word. However, they still only use the fluffy form unless urged or taught otherwise. Varies by headcanon. FLUFFIES (applicable to non-fluffies) baby > "babbeh", "foaw" brother > "bwuddah", "bwuthah", others father > "daddeh" earth pony > "eawthie", "eawth fwuffie", "fwuffy" enforcer, guard, soldier > "toughie", "toughie-fwiend" female, adult > "mawe" female, child > "fiwwy" fetus > "tummeh-babbeh", "soon-babbeh" leader > "smawty", "smawty-fwiend" male, adult > "stawwion" male, child > "cowt" mother > "mummah", "mumma" pegasus > "wingie-fwiend", "pegasus" pregnant mare > "soon-mummah" sister > "sissie", "sistah", others unicorn > "pointy-fwiend", "unicown" COMMON THINGS bed > "beddie" blocks > "bwockies" box > "boxie" clothes, fabric > "not-fwuff" {crying} > "huuhuuhuu!" day > "bwight-time" food > "nummies", "nummehs" happiness > "happies" house > "housie" hug > "huggie" human > "hoomin", "humin", by name if known, others love > "wuv" milk > "miwkies" monster > "munstah" moon > "dawk-time-sky-baww" nest > "nestie" night > "dawk-time" owner, female > "mummah" owner, male > "daddeh" plushie, stuffed animal > "stuffy-fwiend" sadness > "saddies" sleep > "sweepies" spaghetti > "SKETTIES!!!" sun > "sky-baww", "bwight-sky-baww" tears > "saddie-wawas" TV > "teevee", "teebee" unfamiliar human, female > "[nice/meanie] wady", "hoomin mawe", "hoomin fiwwy" unfamiliar human, male > "[nice/meanie] mistah", "hoomin stawwion", "hoomin cowt" water > "wawa" (am bad fo' fwuffies!) ANATOMY (non-sexual) brain > "thinkie-pwace" chest > "chestie" ear > "heaw-pwace", "eawsie" eye > "see-pwace", "eyesie" hair > "fwuff" hair on head > "mane", "head-fwuff" hand > "not-hoofie" head > "headie", "thinkie-pwace" hoof > "hoofie" leg > "weggie" mouth > "mouthie", "moufie" tooth > "toothie", "toofie" nose > "nosie", "sniffy-pwace" stomach > "tummy" VERY SPECIAL WORDS anus > "poopie-pwace" birth > "biggest-poopies" blood > "boo-boo-juice" mammary, fluffy > "miwkie-pwace" mammary, human > "miwkie-pwace", "squishy-thing", "soft-thing", others death > "fowevah-sweepies" feces > "poopies" injury > "huwtie", "owwie" mate > "speshuw-fwiend" orgasm > "gud-feews" pain > "owwies", "huwties" penis > "speshuw-pwace", "no-no-stick", others semen > "speshuw-juice", "no-no-juice", "sticky juice", "babbeh juice" sex > "speshuw-huggies" testicles > "speshuw-wumps", "no-no-wumps" {coital grunting} > "enf enf enf" urine > "peepees" vagina > "speshuw-pwace", "no-no-pwace", others vomit > "sickie-wawas" OTHER WORDS best, great > "bestest" broken, retarded, deformed > "dummeh" dumb, stupid, imbecilic > "stoopid", "stoopi", "dummeh" eat > "num" give > "gif" good > "gud" have > "haf" how long until > "how time tiww" mean > "meanie" most > "mostest" now > "nao", "naow" ugly, unappealing, unwanted, smells/looks like poop > "poopie" want > "wan" worst, very bad > "wowstest" a thing that causes suffering, ostensibly for the purpose of evoking remorse > "sowwy-[object]" ~ "sowwy-stick" ~ "sowwy-hoofie" ~ "sowwy-bwick" animal, not scary > "[name/descriptor]-fwiend", "[animal name]" ~ "meow-meow-fwiend" ~ "kitty-fwiend" ~ "fwuttah-fwiend" animal, scary! > "[name/descriptor]-munstah", "[animal name]" ~ "hissy-munstah" ~ "doggie-munstah" ~ "wingie-munstah" personified object > "[name/descriptor]-fwiend", "[name/descriptor]-munstah", "mistah [name/descriptor]" ~ "computah-fwiend" ~ "vwoom-vwoom-munstah" ~ "mistah doow"