"aqua carl"
By dickspongemcjontron (https://pastebin.com/u/dickspongemcjontron)

URL: https://pastebin.com/Af0icuZC
Created on: Saturday 16th of May 2020 08:57:04 PM CDT
Retrieved on: Saturday 31 of October 2020 02:52:47 AM UTC


Why Joe? WHYYY!? Come back to the Yankees, we need you, now more than ever. I remember your iron steel resolve in two thousand one, post nine eleven— never forget never surrender. When America NEEDED the Yankees the most you were there. DESTINY WANTED you to win the fifth straight, and show them Al-Quada who the real boss was. And then the friggen big yoonen, and curt shellen, and uh... douch backs we will call them, STABBED AMERICA IN THE BACK! AND RIPPED OFF BOTH THE YANKEES, AND PATRIOTS EVERYWHERE, BY denying us our rightful throne in America. A bald eagle cried on that day. And Thomas Jefferson and George Washington and the Gipper himself, died again, in heaven. Joe Tory I'll never forget your standin there with your hand in the back pocket, tellin' me that, you know I better get out of Yankee clubhouse pronto you were gonna call security. I had... YANKEE ZATORY IFFIC, shaved into the various hairs on my torso. And as your clubhouse goons damaged my neck real bad, you gave me the thumbs up. I wish you luck Joe Torry wherever you go. Unless it's Boston, Toronto, Baltimore, Tampa Bay, or anywhere in an American League; you go there AND YOU GO STRAIGHT TO HELL!

Eeeh Boston won, woop dee frig gin doo. Oh Colarado they played Calarado? That's a world series? What that was was a reigional huh skirmish. All the titles and all the championships run through the halland tunnel, and NO ONE CAN TOUCH THAT. I am PISSED, and here is why. I saved Thomason and Nick's gotta pay some broad eleven and a half million dollars, cause she claimed he sexually harrassed her. Well first off that's ridiculous money, cause they could totally replace both the Allen Houstons knees with like, titanium robot terminator joints for that kind of dough. Second, here's the deal. Some women are bitches and should be treated as such, IF THE SITUATION WARRENTS IT. Look, sometimes you gotta slap some asseses to get some things done you know what I mean? I mean I myself, have copped feels, up and down the south Jersey shore, but I don't think anyone should sue over it. It's just a quick harmless little grab ass, you know? A farewell grope, as I'm trottin' away, so they can't identify me. And that's why it's best do do it in crowded subways where there's, you know, confusion. No one can do jack about it. That's where Eye zay ah blew it. BIG TIME. He did his slap and tickle at an office where it's COMPLETELY unacceptable, unless two people, are in love. I mean I never worked in an office but I'd be banging chicks left and right, LIKE A GONG! Heh hah heh hah heh. But I ah you know work out at home so, I take care of myself in other ways. Bottom line, look for Stefan's Stabery and eggs to goal seventy three and nine this year! They will be the beasts of the east! Until Jason Kenn and the Nets send them packin' at the playoffs, and bring the pride back to Jersey! And ain't no dumbass dingbat broad, gettin' in the way of Hoop's destiny!

Patriots versus Colts, Brady versus Manning, Belladeck versus Dundgy. The collision of two undefeated Goliaths. Who is stronger? Who is faster? Who has what it takes to make it to Super Bowl Ex Ell... two? Where they will have their tiny little BOY BALLSACKS RIPPED OPEN AND FORCIBLY FED TO THEM BY THE NEW YOR FOOTBALL GIANTS! Eeyeah eah eah eah eah. It's a foregone conclusion