"Master Thief Anon 01 [RGiE] Comedy"
By brandnewwritefag (https://pastebin.com/u/brandnewwritefag)

URL: https://pastebin.com/BWCm98ZP
Created on: Sunday 14th of December 2014 05:46:35 PM CDT
Retrieved on: Sunday 1 of November 2020 04:42:57 AM UTC


Anonymous 12/14/14(Sun)18:08:08 No.21020224?
>>21020249 >>21020261 >>21020288 >>21020720
A good prompt would be anon and a mare are forced into poverty and are forced to commit theft only to fail hilariously.


>>21020224
>"Ok ok ok sshs shh. Here comes the night watch."
>You shift your weight, looking around the corner of the alley
>Sure enough there are two uniformed ponies walking together
>Shiny buttons... yeah ok they might be officers!
>Sleight Hoof apparently reads your mind. "Yeah, I'm thinking officers too... ok, you know what to do."
>You nod and grin, giving her a thumbs up
>Adjusting your clothing - loose top, tight pants, making sure you seem somewhat disheveled, you stumble out of the alleyway
"Aah! D-damnit...somepony, anypony? Are you there? Ca-can someone help me?"
>Aaaaand stumble and fall right in the middle of the road. You splay out as you hit - in reality it absorbs the impact, but it looks like you hit the ground HARD.
>The mares rush over to you
>"Oh sweet Luna, are you alright?"
>"Stupid colt, what are you doing here? Oh, you look hurt, come on..."
>Not as hurt as you're gonna be, bitch
>You mumble something incoherent
>"I think he's out - we gotta get him to safety ourselves!"
>You feel yourself being lifted up and placed on one of the mare's backs
"NOW"
>"Now wha-ggk!" You wrap your arm around one mare's neck in a chokehold, turning your body to pull her to the ground
>"What in Celes-" is all the other mare gets out before a soft *thud*. Her eyes roll back into her head and she hits the ground.
>The other pony struggles for a little while longer, but then passes out
>You stand up, dusting yourself off
>You and Sleight Hoof share a grin before patting down your two victims.
* * *
>"But How was I supposed to know they were part of Celestia's Angels?!"
>You remain silent, just staring into your off-brand cider
>"Anon, you gotta believe me. I didn't know aid workers wore uniforms nowadays! They're just supposed to stand outside a shop and ring a bell! What were they even doing in the red light district?!"
>Your score sits on the table
>Two tiny little hoof-bells, some lint, a couple butterscotch candies and a pamphlet titled "Luna Loves you"
>Damnit