"Daring Douche 20: The End (?)"
By brandnewwritefag (https://pastebin.com/u/brandnewwritefag)

URL: https://pastebin.com/g7kUAEvy
Created on: Sunday 21st of December 2014 04:21:26 PM CDT
Retrieved on: Sunday 1 of November 2020 04:42:50 AM UTC


Suggested Listening for this chapter: http://youtu.be/rhhy1wPDGqI

>Be Daring
>Be slamming your hooves against the solid oak door
>Be cursing as loud as you dare because DAT WHORSE JUST STOLE YO MAN
>Your marshmallow flailing eventually snaps your herd out of their lust-haze
>Oh man the bitching that follows
>"Ah never paid mah taxes!"
>"You barbarians!"
>"You bunch of snitches-stitches-rhymes-with-itches!"
>"I thought what we had was special, Celestia!"
>You buck the door again
"I AM GOING TO ROB YOU BLIND."
>Twilight charges up her horn and fires a blast at the door
>A loud BANG, dust errywhere
>You already know what happened - come on. Adventurer, old hat at this
>You immediately start running down the hallway and out the stairs
>The smoke will clear and the door will still be there; it's never that easy. No, you need to scout out and see if there's any other way in
>Down the stairs back to the living quarters
>You knock over her fruitbowl and turn on her stove
>You also open her fridge and pull everything out
>Her energy bill's gonna skyrocket
>Fuck da ponice
>OK that was actually somewhat cathartic
>But where can y-BALCONIES. Towers like this always have balconies everywhere
>Racing down another floor past gram-gram's furniture, past the books, you finally make it outside
>*fwump* *fwump* *Whoosh*
>Your wings spring out and with a powerful thrust, you take off
>Anon was formidable in fighting off Luna, sure - but most colts could fight off a single mare
>You think back to some of the colt-defense courses you heard of
>'That's my purse!' 'I don't know you!' and then a kick to the taco
>You spiral around the tower - first, second, thir-THERE. Fourth floor, there's a balcony!
>Stupid mares. They don't know the meaning of pain.

>You arc up as fast as you can
>You hear another loud *whoomph*
>Looks like Twilight's going to just brute-force her way in
>That's a good plan B...for someone who's never been in a fight. Plan A is getting your colt out of there before an errant wall-crushing magical bolt slams into him on accident
>You land with a triumphant *clop* on the balcony
>In your patented Daring Pose(tm)
>In fact...
"HEY MARES. LET'S GET DARING."
>Ok... uh. Catch phrase is, let's say... 6/10. Could use some work
>Shutup brain
>Kay, well I'll just start pumping you full of adrenaline, seeing as how you're about to fight two goddesses.
>....FFFFF-
>You run into the room, ready for anything
>Yet, once again, you are not prepared

>Celestia, Luna and Anon are in the room, sure. Celestia seems to be raiding the ten minute tea and truce table for the tea cakes
>wow look at her go
>Luna and Anon are ....wow. Apparently arguing over what tea should be used.
>typicalstallion.png
>"No, I'm fucking sick of this lavender shit. Ginger-peppermint-whiskey or bust."
>"Colt, we need to calm you down. Lavender-chamomile is the only logical-"
>"In the land of crazy horses the half-sane man is king." Anon reaches for something out of his market-basket
>"So thou DO accept our proposal!"
>"Fuckin-NO."
>Anon turns to say something to Celestia, but meets eyes with you
>"Oh Hallelujah the lesser of two evils!"
>He runs towards you... in slow motion... mm oh mama look at those shoulders
>You feel your wings begin to rise
>He stands just infront of you, saying some shit
>Doesn't matter your muzzle is crotch-level to him
>Luna starts to complain in ye olde
>Just... inhale deeply...
>You don't notice that you're starting to lean forward until a finger darts down towards you
"Whuwa~!"
>You stumble back, but you can't avoid the incoming finger
>*boop*
>You scrunch your nose up
>"Seriously fucking listen to me you gotta get me out of here Luna is a crazy bitch-"
>"WE OBJECT! We are not a dog!"

>"Have you seen yourself lately?" He says with a grin
>Oooo she mad
>"Thou will learn proper manners, even if we have to beat them into you!"
>"Kinfy"
>All heads turn to Celestia
>"Whut?" She says, mouth mostly-filled with cake.
>She swallows after a moment, delicately dabbing her mouth with a provided napkin. "Honestly, you never invite me over to tea anymore, and how could I possibly pass up this..."
>she looks Anon up and down like a piece of meat, licking her lips free of frosting
>"....this show."
>"Nopenopenope"
>Suddenly you get picked up by Anon
>You start to curl and fluffle up instinctively
>His arms are just so warm... and strong, yet soft....
>Mmm just
>You start licking his chest again
>Ooo. This is strawberry-flavored oil...and sweat
>Your wings are at full mast
>Luna's got good taste. An utter whorse, sure, but you gotta give props where it's due
>"Nope nope nope" Anon keeps chanting as he runs to the balcony
>Why is he running there? What do- oh fuck
"Anon wait Anon WAIT ANON DON'T-"
>Too late
>He jumps off of the balcony, wrapping his arms around your upper torso
>"SPREAD YOUR WINGS, NEON PEGASUS"
>Ha ha ha about that
>You're at full mast
>So you try to spread 'em out, but he's so warm and you can still TASTE HIM AND HE IS SO CLOSE
>The two of you begin to plummet
>"FLY! WHY WON'T YOU FLY?"
"WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING SEXY?"
>"I CAN'T HELP IT"
>He shifts his fingers until h- oh shit he's grabbing right around your wings, trying to spread them apart manually
>"PLEA-"
"AAAAAAHNNN~"
>That's all he gets out before you orgasam hard
>Apparently pleasure and pain is your new kink
>Who knew?

>And so, in a graceful arc, your oiled-up Anon meets the ground under a screaming, orgasaming pegasus.

* * *
>"Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep-"
"Mmgh...."
>"Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop-"
"Whm?"
>Be... be... uh....
>"Bip, Bao, Benis, Bo-"
>"-Inkie....elping."
>Be... someone...
>Daring! DARING!
>Yes oww fuck brain you get a cookie you remembered who I is
>Yaaaay. Also I'm doin' good at breathing, boss
>Yes keep that up
>"But how else will she know she's in a hospital? Bee, Baa, Bon-Bon, Bip~"
>You open your eyes
"Wharrglb"
>Good job. Just...stellar at these first impressions
>"Well, I take it you're curious as to what happened after your... ah, rescue?"
>DAT VOICE
>You know that voice!
>You turn your head over to the left
>You see your herd
>Pinkie mouthing beeping noises
>and towering over them
"Sccheshsa!"
>Come on mouth fucking work with me here
>She smiles. "Apparently the anesthesia hasn't worn off completely. Yes, it is me - and I'm sorry that everypony ah... jumped to conclusions?"
>trollgrin.png
>You groan in actual, physical pain
>Celestia mumbles something to herself about everypony being a critic
>"Yes, well. Seeing as how ah... far Luna had gotten with Anon, I figured confronting them privately would spare everyone some actions they would regret. Apparently I forgot to close the balcony door, so..."
>She trails off as she looks at you with a half-smile. "So here we are."
"Sho...yous ahn no tah Anahn?"
>Ok we're getting there mouth that's good
>Fluttershy moves forward to shush you, petting your hoof gently. "Y-you're injured. Just rest."
>Twilight takes over. "According to ah, witnesses, he yelled something about "Zangeif's spinning piledriver" before you two hit the pavement. He landed on his legs, and then the momentum kinda...swung you into the pavement on your side."
>She points with a hoof at your side
>You druggedly look at your barrel - whelp. You didn't need to fly anytime soon.
>One wing is heavily bandaged
>You sigh
"Sh...So. Where. Is. Anon?"
>Good! Takin' it slow means you can talk! Good.
>"Well...." Twilight starts

>A golden glow surrounds the curtain next to your bed
>Celestia pulls it back, revealing
"Anon!"
>He looks at you, nonplussed. He mouths at you 'you had one job'
>"Yes, Anon is fine. He came around about an hour ago, and we've had a nice, long conversation." Twilight continues
>"Well, fine... relatively speaking. He's not dead. But his legs are a bit, uh, damaged."
>"You mean broken as fuck, Twilight."
>Twilight winces. "Well... it could be worse! I mean, yo-"
>You facehoof and groan. That's just asking the universe to-
>The door slams open, startling everypony
>"HUZZAH! WE HAVE FOUND THEE, ANON!"
>"Sister, please! Inside voice!"
>Luna flats her ears against her head, then smiles. "oh, sorry. Huzzah! We have found Anon!"
>Luna trots in and trailing behind her
>Holy shit
>There's about 500 flowers, boxes of chocolate, jewels, bags of bits
>When in doubt: bribe
>"Anon, we wish to sincerely apologize to you. We have been educated on the various social ...changes since our departure, and it was wrong of us to imprison you so."
>"Hey uh, that's ok-" Anon tries to scoot back on his bed, away from the approaching Luna. "- seriously you don't need to co-"
>"But we Insist! Take these boons as a token of our remorse."
>Luna tastefully arranges the flowers and whatnot around his bed
>"Also, we wish to let you know that we will continue to study the changes, and shall return to you again with our new knowledge!"
>"O-oh, ok luna, that's great, really-"
>Luna just nods, kinda...wait you know that look. She's just tuning him out. "Yes! We shall begin studying this new chapter, 'the sexual revolution', at once!"
>Everyone goes silent.
>"Uh, Luna..." Rainbow Dash starts. "I don't thi-"
>"NONSENSE! We shall lock ourself in Celestia's study. We shall return to you, our Anon, Anon!"
>Wait why did she say his name twi-
>Luna teleports out like a bawss
>Everyone is silent for a moment before Celestia coughs. 

>"We...should probably go find Luna before she gets into any more scented or flavored oil..."
>Twilight looks up at her mentor curiously. "But I've been in your study plenty of times, Celestia! Where would she find-"
>"WE SHOULD PROBABLY GO RIGHT NOW." Celestia starts herding out the littler pones through the door.
>You can just *feel* the secret chambers all up in her room
>You may or may not still want to rob her blind
>After a few more comments and hoof-waving, you are left alone with your future husbando
>"So."
>You turn to look at Anon again.
"So."
>Uncomfortable silence mode: engage!
"I guess..."
>you sigh
"I'm really, really sorry."
>Anon quirks an eyebrow at you
"I've just... I see you and you're someone I want, and I just let it go right to my head. I've only ever been trying to get you in me, and I haven't taken the chance or time to learn anything about you."
>You search his face as you talk
>Anon remains silent, but isn't stopping you
"And... yanno. forming a herd without your knowledge and trying to get you to submit to our group is..."
>"Underhanded? Sexist, Dirty, Stupid, Arrogant..."
>Your ears flat against your head
"Yeah, all of those things. I'm sorry - and I'll..."
>Ugh don't do it mouth don't do it brain just don't
>Sorry daring, heart's in control
>Don't let that idiot at the controls she'll do something really stup-
"I'll leave you alone for good, if you want."
>Fuck.
>Anon breathes in deeply, drumming his fingers against his chest in thought
>Seconds stretch into eternity as he looks around the room
>"Never..."
>Here it comes. Brace yourself
>"Never let it be said that I'm not a generous - or stupid man."
>Wut
>He smiles at you - it's a half-smile
>Oh Celestia that's the greatest thing you've ever seen
>"I'm... I'm beginning to think that maybe, if you girls are after me so hard... maybe there's something to this whole herding business. Or at least, dating to get out of my shell."
>You sit up in bed - ignoring the pain.

>He continues. "And well... I mean, look at the alternative when I try to ignore you pones."
>He waves his hand to encompass all the swag - and his two broken legs
>"I figure it's less dangerous and stupid to give you all a shot-"
>a high-pitched "eeeeee" escapes your lips
>"BUT."
>You sit perfectly still
>"If you don't respect me, if you can't prove to me that you're trustworthy, if you can't show me that you give a damn about me - and not because I'm some exotic trophy"
>He leans over to your bedside - wow ya'll are close
>He grins toothily. "I'll kill you and eat the body."
>You gulp loudly
>Brain's shutting down, Heart's overloaded - who can take the controls
>'I GOT THIS'
>No Ovaries no
"I-I've got something that you can eat~"
>Oh my Celestia why did you just say-
>He laughs
>Honest to celestia he laughs so hard his bed is shaking
>"Hahahaha, aah, hoo... fuck Daring, really? Alright little pone."
>He reaches over and ruffles your mane
>You could get used to this
>"The drinks are on you."
>You look at him, and match his smile
>Yeah. You could get used to this.

THE END [spoiler] OF ARC ONE [/spoiler]

[spoiler]
>Your herd squeals softly
>Casting that transparency and audio-boost spell outside the door was a great idea
>Twilight's doing her little happy dance
>The other mares are talking about what to do next, how to welcome him home
>You? You're just smiling
>The Royal Sisters haven't been this engaged with a stallion in ... centuries
>And you have no plan on letting him go this easily
>And by force or by love, alone or with this herd
>That colt is yours
>You congratulate your student and lean down for a nuzzle, causing her to blush hard
>But you do love to share
[/spoiler]