"Jarjar" By Vigilance99 (https://pastebin.com/u/Vigilance99) URL: https://pastebin.com/wcmLjLfu Created on: Saturday 24th of August 2019 03:08:19 AM CDT Retrieved on: Sunday 25 of October 2020 10:10:27 AM UTC Vigilance: Unrelated and I'm probably massive slowpoke on this, but have you seen the Darth Jar Jar Binks thing? Shima: Ugh. Yeah. Friend of mine wouldn't shut up about it on the way to see Episode VII Shima: I personally think it's kind of stupid even if it was done well in the prequels Shima: I mean, you listen to it Shima: and it makes sense on a few points on poor decisions Jar Jar made Shima: but it just feels like a really weak twist for twist's sake Vigilance: Well, I was watching a video, and it was freaky actually Vigilance: Basically, if you pay attention to Jar Jar, he obviously is performing Force powers at several points in the prequels Vigilance: He's talking to the alien commander, and the alien is just talking to him, but if you watch his hands, he's doing the fucking Obi-Wan thing. Five seconds later "How would you like to be a general?" Vigilance: Later on, he's talking to some politicians, doing the same hand motions, boom, he's a Senator Vigilance: At one point, Qui-Jon is talking to Princess Pandabear, Padme is saying some seriously OOC shit, and if you watch the video game JAR JAR IS MOUTHING THE WORDS WHILE STANDING BEHIND HER Vigilance: Absolute worst one? Remember the giant fish that chases them in the Phantom Menace? Vigilance: If you'll recall, when that fish shows up, Jar Jar passes out, seemingly in fright Vigilance: Not moments later, a gigantic Bigger Fish shows up, WITH JAR JAR BINK'S MOTHERFUCKING EYES, eats that fucker, then swims off ignoring the capsule for some reason Vigilance: IMMEDIATLY afterwards, Jar Jar wakes up Vigilance: He fucking possessed a Sando Aqua Monster Vigilance: [end jar jar rant] Vigilance: >Delete the word "game" after video Shima: Yeah, I remember these same comments on the theory. And, like I said, it does make sense on a lot of those. There's justifications for all of it and I'm pretty sure it's confirmed Lucas had that planned before he dropped it in, like, 3 Shima: but being planned-out / making sense doesn't necessarily make it worthwhile once you get to it. Jar Jar suddenly revealing himself as the Bad behind the Bad would have had me rolling on the floor in mocking laughter than genuine shock, it's just so damn silly. Yoda, I realize, is a smaller case of this Shima: where you think Yoda is a slimy toad hanging out int he swamp before he reveals that appearances aren't everything Shima: but that only took 30 minutes. Shima: to stretch it out over 6 years of film....? Vigilance: Isn't this coming from the guy who told a story for over a year before even showing his antagonist? Shima: Okay: I reveal Boo is actually the true head of the Order of Eon Shima: your reaction? Vigilance: ....and then when he first showed up, he was just a folksy moron? Vigilance: ....and a senator Shima: Also, gimme a liiiiiiitle credit: online tabletop like this is slow. If TQ were a tv show Sight would have been revealed by episode 10 at the latest I think. Shima: Maaaaybe not sight, I mean Eon Vigilance: The head, I'd laugh at you, but if he was revealed to be just a member, and then you could call back a bunch of foreshadowing I missed? Vigilance: I'd freak out with delight. I mean, several times now you've been foreshadowing things, and I"ll figure them out riiiiiiiight before the reveal, and be proud of myself for catching on Vigilance: Seriously though Sight is literally Jar Jar Binks Shima: Okay so he's folksy and a senator to put up false appearnces that beray his true nature Shima: but that was done a lot before Jar Jar, I don't want Sight in the same sentence Shima: it makes me feel unclean Vigilance: He also has a stupid accent and calls everyone by nicknames Vigilance: >"Meesa so worried Mr Nero. Eon going to blowing up the SUN!" Shima: I hate you Shima: I hate you sooooo much Shima: you made me laugh Vigilance: I'm dying IRL man Vigilance: Wiat doesn't Jar Jar also lean on the fourth wall at times? Shima: ... soemtimes. for jokes. Shima: I much prefer the Palpatine 'Bad guy with good publicity' trope, can we compare Sight to palpatine instead? Vigilance: >Annoying idiot who inadvertantly helps an ancient relic become Emperor of the universe Vigilance: If I win, he is literally Jar Jar Vigilance: This Eon shit will be the only reason Nero isn't dead by regicide Vigilance: >I even have a death star and a rebellious second in command who wears solid black armor Vigilance: >EoNaxxBinks.gif Shima: Alright, i'll silently loathe you as I pass out for sleep this evening, need to pass out here for work Shima: TQ still on for fri, but I'm not gonna be on tomorrow Shima: was there anything you needed to talk about that i should come on late Thurs for? Vigilance: Uh yes, one thing you definitely need to come in for. Vigilance: I need to tell you all the new reasons I think up for why Sight is exactly like Jar Jar Binks Vigilance: Its crucial you hate me more Shima: That's it, I'm summoning another Eonspawn right when Nero is alone Vigilance: Don't worry. Sight will just summon another Eon Spawn that eats that one, then wake up drowsily. Vigilance: ARMY OF CLONES Vigilance: He uses armies of clones Vigilance: Like Jar Jar Shima: My rage is almost... enlightening now. I swear I can solve world hunger i'm so absolutely livid Vigilance: No but seriously enjoy your day off, I don't need you for anything. Vigilance: Go sleep. Or stick around so I can explain how Eon staffs are like lightsabers, or that Grave is kinda like Count Dooku. Shima: night man! Vigilance: Night! Shima is now Offline.