"[FR] The Afterlife"
By Thy_Carpenter (https://pastebin.com/u/Thy_Carpenter)

URL: https://pastebin.com/3wT45wGj
Created on: Wednesday 16th of March 2016 12:34:12 AM CDT
Retrieved on: Friday 30 of October 2020 12:58:19 PM UTC


>You are anon, and right now your heart has beat its last.
>You are dead.
>You stand up from where your body lays, which is already beginning to get cold.
>Looking at your corpse, you're satisfied how you went.
>You had lived a long natural life, had married and managed to raise a family in this odd technicolor world.
>Your family surrounds your body, in one last final loving embrace.
>Smiling, you know you are done here.
>A warm and weightless feeling overcomes you, and you find yourself in front of pearly white gates, with a soft and cushiony cloud ground.
>This certainly was a cookie cutter cliché heaven if you've ever seen one.
>The gates open, and you saunter in.
>As soon as you crossed the threshold, you feel the most safe, happy, and satisfied you have ever been.
>You're greeted by a deep, soothing voice.
>"Hello, Anonymous. It is a great day to finally meet you again in my kingdom."
"Hello, God. Y-you too."
>Nailed it.
>"You likely have many questions, my child. All will be answered, but first, there is someone that's been waiting to meet you."
"Someone waiting for me? Am I hearing this right?"
>"Yes, they've been waiting quite some time for you."
>A foggy cloud cylinder twice the height of you rises from the ground.
>A small figure about half your size begins to come forward from the fog.
>At first a silhouette, but now gaining a heavenly gold color.
>Pure blue eyes are visible now, giving you a kind and gentle gaze.
>Next is a long and flowing pink mane.
>The figure walks fully out of the fog, which dissipates.
>A happy feeling overcomes you, the kind you get from meeting an old friend again after years.
"Flutterbutter!"
>"Anon!"
>Running towards each other, you meet halfway in a hugging embrace.
"Shy! How have you been?"
>"Aside from being away from you for so long, I've been good. Heaven is a very nice place!"
"What have you been doing up here without us?"
>"Well, I've been waiting for you!"
"Waiting? On me? But why?"
>"Because now we have all the time in the world... To find your fetish."
>Still in the hug, she guides her hoof to your crotch and begins a gentle grope.
>God chimes in with a gentle chuckle "You two always did make an adorable couple. I'll leave you two alone with your privacy.
>JESUS BADGERFUCKING CHRIST! You had thought everyone in Equestria was perverted when it came to seeing you and Fluttershy as a couple.
>But now God... GOD HIMSELF is personally shipping you two and is leaving you alone with a rapist!
>NOPE. THIS AINT HAPPENING!
>SHIFT SYSTEMS INTO MAXIMUM OVERNOPE!
"NOPE! NOPENOPENOPE"
>"A-Anon! What's wrong?"
"Everything. I'm noping right the fuck out of here."
>You get up and walk off.
>The voice is back. "Anonymous, why did you have to ruin the mood? You two are adorable like that!
>So now it turns out God was watching you get molested by the yellow menace.
>And enjoying it.
>Go figure.
"Fuck this. I'm out. Cya fuckers later, I'm noping outta here straight into purgatory."
>"Now hey - oh, oh come on, Anonymous! Don't make a big deal out of this! Come on back here, man! What do you want? 72 virgins? Come on, we can talk this out!"
>With your back to the voice and both middle fingers boldly presented in the retrograde position, you nope right on out of heaven and into the nothingness of purgatory.
>It seems not even heaven is safe from
>Fucking Fluttershy.