"Episode 23: Norman's Odyssey"
By SitcomAnon (https://pastebin.com/u/SitcomAnon)

URL: https://pastebin.com/epXsd2KT
Created on: Thursday 6th of November 2014 08:18:10 PM CDT
Retrieved on: Sunday 25 of October 2020 11:41:19 AM UTC


Norman’s Odyssey
(Act 1: The first scene opens with an external view of Norman’s parent’s house. It is early evening and the lights are on inside. There is muffled music from outside. Cut to the interior where we see a Halloween Party in full swing. We see Pinkie and Norman talking. Pinkie is dressed as Dr. Watson while Norman appears in a toga. They stand in front of a print of Grant Wood’s “American Gothic” on the wall)
Norman: Hey Pinks, great party!
Pinkie: Thanks, Normie!
Norman: Quick question though.
Pinkie: Yes?
Norman: Why is it at my folk’s house?
Norman’s Dad: (Revealed to be the farmer in the painting) We can answer that.
Norman: Dad?
Dad: Hey, sport. Mom’s here, too.
Mom: (Coming alive as the woman in the painting) Hi honey!
Pinkie: Your mom and dad totally thought that we should put together a crazy costume party at their place and considering I am their favorite of all of your friends, I couldn’t resist helping them.
Mom: That’s right, dear.  Your father came up with the idea of everyone pairing off and picking out costumes for each other.
Dad: Of course your mom and I were on the same wavelength so our costumes worked out perfectly. 
Norman: Well, at least it worked out for someone.
(We get our first look at everyone else. Cut to Applejack looking like Scarlet O’hara in her ballgown)
Applejack: I dunno, Rares...it just doesn’t seem to fit my style at all.
Rarity: (V/O) Nonsense, darling. It is more fitting than you could ever imagine.  I must say though, Applejack, you could have been a little more original with your idea for me.
(We cut to Rarity dressed in a paper mache apple costume) (Laughter)
(Norman walks over)
Norman: I’d say its rather fitting.
Rarity: How so, darling?
Norman: (Kissing her) Because you’re the apple of my eye. (Awwwww)
(They turn as they hear….)
Dash: Come on, Fluttershy, you need to get out of their sooner or later.
(We see Dash, dressed as a turtle talking to a shut door)
Fluttershy: Um...I’m quite alright in here if that okay with you.
Dash: But I worked super hard on your costume.
Flutters: And I thank you but I think I should stay in.
Dash: Look, Flutters: I’m wearing the turtle costume you made for me.
Flutters: Tortoise.
Dash: Whatever. (Laughter)
Flutters: F...fine, I’m coming out now.
(Flutters opens the door wearing a quite revealing vampire costume. Cut to Norman and Brad who has walked over dressed as a cowboy)
Brad: Damn! I’d let her suck my….
Norman: Shut up, Brad! (Laughter)
(Flutters in doing her best to cover up.
Flutters: I told you Dash, its just too embarrassing.
Norman: It’s weird.
Brad: What is, Norm?
Norman: Seeing Flutters dressed like that is bringing back some really foggy memories.
Brad: Eh...you probably just ate too much candy. (Laughter)
Pinkie: (Bounding over followed by Twilight dressed as Sherlock Holmes) Or the various multiverses are collapsing in on themselves.
Twilight: A fair point, dear Pinkie.
Norman: You guys ended up with paired costumes, too?
Twilight: Yeah. Why what happened with you and Brad.
Brad: Well, with me as a cowboy, we couldn’t have Norm be an indian. It would just reinforce the fact that he is a racist.
Norman: I am not a racist! I am a melting pot of friendship! (Laughter)
Twilight: Let me guess...Brad forgot he had to pick a costume for you, realized it at the last minute, and came up with the bedsheet toga.
Brad: Oh no no no...yes… (Laughter)
Rarity: Well I think that Norman looks quite manly in a toga. (She kisses him on the cheek)
Norman: T..thanks Rarararararra….ity. (Laughter)
Twilight: Your parent’s house seems really popular with the kids, Norman.  Your mom and dad have been handing out candy for hours.
Brad: Thats because Norman’s parents give out full-sized Mound’s bars. They’re the best house on the block.
Norman: They always have.  No idea why though...it’s almost like they are the parents from a 1950’s sitcom.
(The characters turn and look directly at the camera) (Laughter) (Enter Norman’s dad)
Dad:(Nervously) Yeah...about that. We may have a little problem here.
Norman: What’s up, dad?
Dad: Well we’re out of candy and…(He Points outside, hundreds of kids dressed as zombies converge on the house chanting “Candy”. Laughter to end the act)
(Act Two opens with the exterior view as the children descend on the house. Cut to the interior where everyone is hiding behind the couch as the children start knocking on the doors and windows)
Norman: How did we run out of candy so fast?
Dad: No idea. Your mom and I have been buying up Mound’s bars for the last year just to have a good stock of them.
Brad: Well, have you had many trick or treaters tonight, Mr. N? 
Dad: Sure, but not enough to use up all the bars we had.
Pinkie: (V/O, ill) Ohhh…...Not feeling to well here.
Norman: She’s been bitten hasn’t she?
Brad: Well, she bit something. (Laughter)
Norman: Not the time, Brad.
Brad: No! Look!
(We see Pinkie lying on the couch, see seems a bit bloated, Mound’s wrappers all around her.)
Norman: God Damnit, Pink! (Laughter)
Rarity: Norman, Darling!  Whatever will we do?
Norman: I guess ignore them and wait for them to leave.
(The kids start beating on the door and breaking windows)
Norman: I’ll protect you.
Rarity: Hold me…
Dad: Norman, it’s time to protect your mom, myself, your girlfriend, and your friends. Now go out there, run to the store, and get more candy. 
Norman: Why me?
Mom: Because dear, if we left the house, we wouldn’t be good hosts.
Brad: C’mon, Norm.  You and me can take the Bradillac. 
(Norman Cringes, audience laughter)
Brad: It’s fast and built like a tank...it will protect us.
Fluttershy: (Looking out the window) U...um Brad?
Brad: Yeah, Flutters?
Fluttershy: Uh...they kind of took over the Bradillac and flipped it.
Brad: They what! (Laughter as we see the Bradillac flipped over and on fire)
Norman: Oh Faust, what about my Ferarity Equesterossa?
Dash: (Looking out the window) You mean your Fiero with the bodykit? (Laughter) Looks like they don’t want anything to do with it.  
Norman: Well at least that went well for me.
Twilight: You aren’t gonna be able to get to it anytime though...they’ve blocked all paths.  
Dad: (Looking to his wife) I guess we’ll have to use “that” then.
Mom: So it does, dear...so it does.
Dad: (Throwing his keys to Norman) Take our car in the garage, son.  It has a ton of cargo space so you can load as many Mound’s bars as the store can give you.
Norman: Understood.  Pinkie, you create a diversion and buy us some time while we leave. 
Pinkie: (Pepping back up) You’ve got it, Normie!
Norman: H...how’d you recover so fast.
Twilight: Well, it might have something to do with the fact that she has the metabolism of a chihuahua.  (Laughter)
Norman: Right….Brad, you drive.
Brad: Sounds good. What type of car are we taking anyways.
(Cut to a dramatic sequence of Norman and Brad jumping into a car, buckling the seatbelts, turning it over, opening the garage door and storming out of the garage all while a Pinkie musical number plays in the background. Quick cut to silence as we now see Brad and Norman driving speed limit in a beat up, old Honda Odyssey. (Laughter) Cut to the inside where Norman and Brad ride in silence)
Brad: You know, in Japan the Odyssey was called the LaGreat which is Latin for “He Cries”.
Norman: The hell does that mean?
Brad: I think it has to do with the man’s reaction when he hears the five little words that lead to the need for the purchase this Daycare Delorean of suburban domesticity.
Norman: Being?
Brad: Honey, I think I’m pregnant. (Laughter)
Norman: Leave it alone.  It was the only thing available to us.  We are going to need to make this car last.  I may be the only way to save everyone back home from those things.
Brad: All I’m saying is that this thing is the pine box that houses the shriveled corpse of the single life. (Laughter)
Norman: Yeah...I can’t really deny that.
Brad: So, whats the plan?
Norman: We go to the store, we get the candy, and we get home.  We get the candy to all the children, then we go back inside for a cup of tea while we wait for this whole thing to blow over. (Laughter)
(We cut to a scene of Brad and Norman going through the grocery store and buying out the entire stock of Mound’s bars before loading them in the back of the Odyssey.)
Norman: So what’s the fastest route home?
Brad: I’ll swing down Elm and across at Maple.
Norman: But if we do that we’ll pass…
In Unison: (Worried) The home of the Sirens! (Image of a house “The Dazzlings” on the mailbox, with thunder and lightning in the background as laughter ends the act)
(Act three opens inside the car. Norman and Brad are worried)
Brad: We can’t go past the Siren’s house!  Everyone who has ever heard their song has driven their car into the rocks nearby and never been seen again.
Norman: But, if we take too long to get home, those things will do Faust knows what to my family, our girlfriends, and our friends.
Brad: So, what do you suggest buddy?
Norman: (Giving Brad Ear Plugs) Take these and put them in.
Brad: What about you?
Norman: I’m gonna hear their song.
Brad: Are you crazy? You might grab the wheel and kill us!
Norman: Way ahead of you! (Norman starts ziptying his arms and legs together)
Brad: Whoa! Is Rarity into that type of thing?
Norman: Shut up, Brad! (Laughter) By doing this, I will be the only man in the history of the world to hear their song and live.  You better believe that I want that on my resume. (Laughter)
Brad: Ok then, our funeral.
(The two begin driving toward the house of the Dazzlings.  Cut to Aria, Sonata, and Adagio sitting in their living room watching TV)
Adagio: What should we do for dinner?
Sonata: Ooh ooh!  I know!
Aria: If you say tacos, I swear we will replace you with John Kruk again. (Laughter)
Sonata: I’ve got nothing then. (Laughter)
Aria: Sigh…(Noticing something) wait...do you hear something?
Adagio: (Perking her ears) That’s a car coming!
Aria: Who would be crazy enough to drive past our house.
Sonata: Yeah, they’d have to be real idiots to even try that.
Adagio: So, they’d get along well with you then?
Sonata: Yeah….hey?! (Laughter)
Aria: Looks like its time to up our body count girls.
(The three laugh evilly as we cut back to Norman and Brad)
Brad: (Yelling due to the earplugs) WE SHOULD BE COMING INTO CONTACT SOON!
Norman: (Plugging his ears) Fantastic!  Let’s see this song of theirs.
Brad: WHAT?
Norman: Let’s hear this song.
Brad: WHAT? 
Norman: Forget it! (Laughter)
(The boys look ahead and see the Dazzlings taking their places in front of the house)
Adagio: Ready girls! 
(Quick cut to Norman taking a deep breath then back to the girls)
Sonata: 1,2,3,4!
Dazzlings: Shoo Be Doo, Shoo Shoo Be Doo!
Call Upon the Sea Ponies When You’re in Distress! (Laughter)
Norman: Ahhh!!!! Kill me now!  End this! Please, Faust end this!
(Brad Simply keeps driving, we hear as he hears which is to say silence while Norman starts beating his head against the window. Laughter. Eventually we see them keep drive past the house, the song fading in the background)
Adagio: Well, that didn’t go as planned.
Sonata: Could you be a little more angry about it, I’m starving. (Laughter as the other two just stare at her annoyed)
(Cut to Brad and Norman as Brad pulls out the earplugs. Norman looks spent)
Brad: So how was it?
Norman: Well, I can see why people would wreck their car hearing it. (Laughter)
Brad: So, what’s the plan when we get home?
Norman: Simple, let them eat candy. (Laughter)
Brad: You know, I’ve been thinking.
Norman: Yeah?
Brad: The Honda Odyssey is basically the official car of wedding announcements whose subtext read: “I’ve Settled! The Wedding is in June! Save the Date!” (Laughter)
Norman: Okay! I get it it! It’s a crappy car!
(The Two pull up near the house which is still surrounded by angry trick or treaters)
Brad: So how do we give them the candy?
Norman: (Pulling out Lyra’s bow) With this!
Brad: Where’d you get that?
(Cut to Lyra and Bon Bon’s apartment)
Lyra: Hey Bon Bon, where is my lyre-bow?
BonBon: I let the racist patriarch borrow it.
Lyra: You did what!? (Laughter)
(Back to the guys. We see Norman knocking the candy bars like an arrow and firing knocking the kids down who then come to their senses when they see they have the candy. Brad is doing something similar with his nerf gun.)
Norman: Nice shooting, Tex.
Brad: You too, Odysseus. (Laughter)
(We see them keep shooting until all of the zombies seem happy and leave the house. Out come those trapped inside)
Rarity: Norman!  My hero! (She hugs Norman and gives him a kiss)
Dad: (Putting his arm on Norman’s shoulder) I’m proud of you, son!
Norman: Glad I could help.
(Enter Pinkie, a crazed look in her eye)
Pinkie: Mounds….mounds…
(Norman quickly knocks a candy bar and draws the bow firing at Pinkie. She catches it and takes a bite.)
Pinkie: Mmmm...thanks Normie!
(Everyone laughs along with the audience to end the scene)

(After Credits: we open on Norman asleep in his bed, there is a loud clap of thunder and the window to his room slams open causing him to sit up in bed immediately)
Norman: Faust!  The hell was that.
Sound: Eep!
Norman: (Shaking) w...Who’s there?
(Enter Fluttershy still in her costume, although her real teeth seem to have grown into two long fangs)
Fluttershy: O...oh, h-hello Norman. 
Norman: Flutters?  Why are you here?
Fluttershy: Oh, w-well you see, its that time when I am supposed to come in and suck some of your blood, if that’s okay with you I mean. (Laughter)
Norman: Oh…..so that’s why your costume brought back all those memories. (Laughter)
Fluttershy: I promise I’ll be gentle….probably. (She approaches him)
Norman: Wait...we can work this out.  It doesn’t have to be this way, Flutters!
(Norman tries to move but finds another body in his bed, a half dressed Brad)
Brad: Do you mind not making so much noise, babe?
(Cut to Norman in his room awakening from his dream)
Norman: Ahhhh! Faust Damnit! Why do I always have that nightmare?
(Laughter to end the episode)