"horses and cake"
By SecretMomServal (https://pastebin.com/u/SecretMomServal)

URL: https://pastebin.com/YAhm1nm2
Created on: Friday 7th of December 2018 04:46:33 PM CDT
Retrieved on: Saturday 24 of October 2020 07:50:17 AM UTC


Anon’s Birthday: The Cake Argument
>Be Anon.
>It’s the anniversary of your birth.
>You get out of bed and decide to start your day with potassium-packed banana. 
>As you relax in your favorite love seat, the only thing that reminds you of home, eating your banana, you hear a cannon go off that nearly kills you from shock and makes you drop your half eaten banana on the floor.
>A pink blur comes crashing through your window and lands perfectly on your coffee table.
>As one would expect on today of all days, it’s Ponyville’s resident party planner Pinkie Pie.
"Hey Anon! My secret sources tell me that today is you birthday! So according to Article XVII of the PPPPA, I've brought you a handmade cake!"
>"Oh, cool. Where is it?"
"...I forgot it! I'll be right back!"
>Pinkie then reversed herself out of the hole she made in your wall and went back to Sugarcube Corner.
>As you wait for Pinkie to return with your cake, you hear a knock at your door.
>You open it and it's your neighbor and former Passione member Starlight Glimmer.
"Good morning, Anon! Happy Birthday!"
>She gives you and walks into your house and takes a seat on your couch.
"So, how have you been this fine morning?"
>"Oh you know, the same old thing. I'm just waiting for Pinkie to bring me my birthday cake."
"Oh.'
>She looks down at the ground disappointingly
>"What's wrong?"
"Oh, I had made you one for today, but if Pinkie already made you one..."
>"No, it's alright! Two cakes are better than one, right?"
"Do you really mean it, Anon? Great!"
>Starlight starts using her unicorn magic and magics a slice of cheesecake onto your coffee table.
>She then magics a bottle of strawberry syrup and applies it to the cheesecake in a wave motion.
"I know how much you like cheesecake, so I made it extra special."
>As she handed you the plate, Pinkie Pie returned, making a larger hole in your wall to fit the large cake.
"I'm back An- Oh, why is Starlight here?"
>You could hear a twinge of sass in her voice. For whatever reason, Pinkie Pie would get jealous whenever she saw you with other ponies.
>"Oh, Starlight brought me some cheesecake for my birthday."
"Well that was silly of her! I already brought you some cake!"
>"I mean, it's alright Pinkie. It's just one sli-"
>She pushed you back into my chair and began to cut a slice our of her massive cake, making sure to have her plot right in front of your face. 
>Starlight walked up to Pinkie, still holding the slice of cheesecake with her magic.
"Pinkie, I think Anon was gonna eat my slice first..."
"Oh that's crazy talk, Starlight! I told him about my cake first, so it only makes sense that he eats my cake first!"
>You could feel the tension in the room rising by the second, and you could see Starlight's weird anger cloud thing coming out of her horn at an alarming rate. 
>You get up to try and calm the two horses down when the worst happens.
>You step right onto the banana from earlier and immediately lose your balance.
>As you fall forward, you notice just how many things in your living room end with a sharp corner.
>Right as you come to terms with your inevitable death, your descent his stopped by something warm and cushiony. 
>At first you're relieved that the gods above have decided to spare you, but then you realize where you've landed. 
>You've landed face-first into Pinkie Pie's ass. 
>And I don't mean like on top of the cheeks, I mean like down the middle deep.
>Despite being smothered by Pinkie's surprisingly well-toned glutes, you could hear Starlight's gasp of shock from the sudden lewd act.
>You tried to lift yourself from Pinkie's backside, but she wrapped her tail around your head and held you down, preventing you from escape.
"Well, well, well, Glimmy, it's obvious who cake Anon has decided to eat first. Be a doll and give the adults some privacy, huh?"
>Tears started to well up in Starlight's eyes.
"I'm older than you, bitch..."
>She ran out of your house crying, and with her left your only chance at survival.
>Pinkie released you from her booty prison, and as you sat on the floor gasping for air, she turned around towards you.
"So, Anon, how about we continue this feast in your bedroom~?"
kill me