"Please kill me-Anon One-shot"
By NoelGallagher (https://pastebin.com/u/NoelGallagher)

URL: https://pastebin.com/hq2W2xZb
Created on: Tuesday 9th of April 2013 03:20:53 PM CDT
Retrieved on: Friday 23 of October 2020 10:27:51 PM UTC


>Day "Anon`s fetishval"
>Be Anon
>Yeah just Anon, you are nothing special
>Well, besides than being the only human stranded on multi-color pony land
>Your job sucks, your life sucks, and today`s gonna suck even harder than you at your momma`s tits when you where hungry
Hey! What the fuck man! Don`t you talk about my mother!
>"Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do?"
Just... come on man, calm down. One thing is having it at me and other is insulting my mother
>"Ok ok you cry baby, I`ll stop..."
>You get out of bed and head downstairs
>Fucking Celestia had your bathroom made on the kitchen
>So you have to do your morning routine on the kitchen
>At least the refrigerator is closer 
>Still that doesn`t make up for the fact that every mare can see you through your window while you shower
>Oh no
>That reminds you of what day is today
Oh God no...
>Look at the calendar
>March 15
OH no..
OH NO NO NONONONONONO!
>"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHMahI4_fDI"
NO FUCK YOU! YOU TOLD ME TODAY WE WOULD BE DOING MORE MEDIEVAL WAR OR WHATEVER! NOT...THIS!
>"ops, sorry... I lied"
You are the worst writer ever!
>"Look who`s talking Mister Green face"
What did I do to deserve all this... 
>"Don`t you remember all those things you did back on Earth?"
Oh right...Let`s not go back there
>"Just do as I say and everything will be in order"
Like I have a choice...
>Where were we?
>Right
>You pour some cereal and grab the milk while going out from the tub
>Better hit the gas on bad steps
>Today is a marvelous day
>For the ponies of course
>For you it`s hell
>A hell that keeps the fire until you get used to it and then goes 1000º below zero just to fuck with you
>Today is... "Anon`s Fetishval"
>Since you came here all the mares became full of lust with you
>Celestia forbided them from sexually attacking you all the time so they get turns everyday
>But today...
>You are always forced into a chair with a bunch of Royal Guards blocking the exits so you can`t escape and be forced to watch the public display of fetish guessing from EVERY.SINGLE.MARE
>You shrudder at the though of the last one
>The cocoa shouldn`t be placed there...
>*knock knock*
>Oh boy, here we go
>Get up, go to the door and open it
>Fluttershy stands there just watching with a grin
Fluttershy If you dare to ask for my fetish right now, I swear I`ll tell Celestia...
>F:"Oh don`t worry Mister! I already have my number on the line. I`am here just to offer to take you there"
No thanks, I`ll go alone.
>F:"No can do sir. Remember what Princess Celestia said, either you go with somep0ny or the Royal Guards will escort you there!"
>Well... The Royal Guards are not very gentle, so you optate for Fluttershy
>At least she can`t do anything to you today while it isn`t her turn
Ok fluttershy you win... Let`s go...
>You grab your coat and head with Fluttershy to the plaza
>There a single chair in front of a scenario awaits for you
>Easy road
>The only problem 
>It`s crawling with lusty mares who wink at you and not with their eyes
>The whole place looks like a carnival, they have stands with food and everything
>Rarity and Pinkie are selling ice-creams with the form of your dick
>Now that`s the reason of why you found her with a mould the other night before going to bed 
>This is terrible
>No reason to spend more time than the neccesary
>Sit on the chair and a commentarist greets everybody and as soon as the Princesses appear the "show" starts
>The first one is Lyra
>She goes to the stage and looks at you before speaking
>L:"Heya my love! Do you like cocktails?"
Depends on the drink... Why do you ask?
>L:"Because I`am gonna make you a very, VERY special cocktail Anon. Specially Mint Flavored"
Well I do like mint on my drink...
>L:"Just wait until you try this"
>A table full of drinks appears out of nowhere and she grabs the drinks and starts mixing them
>She puts a little too much of vodka
>After a nice barmare skills she pours you the drink
>You take a sip
Mmm nothing bad... But I can`t taste the mint
>L:"It`s because it`s not done yet sweetie!"
>She takes the drink from your hands and encrusts it on her vagina
>She massages it and moans in placer until she cums
Hija de puta...
>Her mare juices mix with the drink and a mint smell assaults the air
>L:"Here you go honey!"
NO GUSTA! NOOO ! NEXT!
>L:"Damn it Anon! I`ll get you one way or another!"
>She takes her leave and the next one arrives
>It`s... Sweetie Belle!?
>But she looks weird
>More scary than weird
>She is covered in a red sustance that can be either red paint, blood or melted candy
>And the rest of her body is a shiny white
Sweetie what are you doing !?
>SB:"Oh Hi Anon! I know you like meat so I brought...THIS!"
>A pile of hamburguer meat appears on the stage
>It`s the first time you`ve seen meat since you arrived here
>The drooling on your mouth says so
>There must be like 7 kilograms of meat there
>SB:"Now now Anon. I know you like it but it`s part of my guess! But I`am gonna need some help to "consume" all this meat, don`t you agree?"
Wait, you are gonna eat it all!?
>SB:"Well, that`s a way to say it my dear"
>A weird song starts playing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xh9fKwpi-Ww
>She grabs a candle and aims it down like if she wanted it to receive it`s own fire and become wax
>The wax falls directly into her anus
Wha...
>SB:"This will be a nice lubricant, don`t you think?"
>What is she gonn-
>OH GOD
>OH MY EYES
>OH MY FUCKING MIND
>She starts to introduce all the meat inside her anus
>Moans of pain and placer alike come from her while staring at you
>Your mind can`t receive this vision
>The sight of this sinful act
>Your mouth hangs open and no words come out from it
>Yo mind is deleting itself
>After she is done she says
>SB:"Now... for the big ending..."
>She starts screaming while her face becomes red
>It would seem that she is trying to...NO...NOOOO....
>A cascade of meaty shit comes out from her ass 
>The force of the meat is so big that her anus prolapces on the act
>SB:"Are prolapsed anuses your fetish Anon?"
>Everything goes black
>After a few seconds you wake up, a bright light blinds you
>You get up and you start walking on... clouds?
>?:"Anon! How glad to see you!"
>You hear someone speak and when you turn around you find..
>God?
>God:"You seem surprised Anon!"
Well, yeah. Since you made me leave the Earth and go to that horrible horse land I never thought I`d see you again. But at least now that I died those horses can`t get me
>God:"Oh but there is were you are wrong my friend! You are not dead!"
What!? Then why am I on Heaven!?
>God:"Because I am messing with you Anon, I wanted to have a good laugh"
Oh come on! Why can`t I just stay here!
>God:"Don`t you remember what you did to that Trannie? He still can`t piss normally after you joined a vagina on his penis"
>Oh right... 
>Better leave those memories apart
>God:"Well, enough with the jokes... DOWN YOU GOOO!"
>You wake up and the ponies surround you
>SB:"Look! He is waking up! I knew he`d enjoy my guess! So Anon! Is this your fetish?"
>You get up and look down at the filly
>Her prolapsed anus hangs from her ass and dragged on the grass while she trots happily
>Adjust your tie
>Clear your throat
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INg7cv2W5gg
>The little filly shows sadness at your outburst and just leaves
>Oh God just let this stop...
>God:"No can do Anon! You deserve this! So mann-up!"
>Well fuck you too God...
>The next one on the line is Octavia
>O:"Hello Anon. I hope you are enjoying the day!"
I`d start enjoying it if my death was involucrated in your guessing
>O:"Sadly for you Anon, it doesn`t. You know, I had to go to Ponyvision today and take the stage with Vinyl, but this day felt more important than that. However, I did manage to bring the entire Ponyvision here to act in my guessing!"
>Lights of all colors appear along with a bunch of ponies with make-up
>They have dildos up their asses and begind dancing around
NO! STOP THIS! NEXT!
>O:"B-but Anon I haven`t even started on it!"
I don`t care! I love musicals and I don`t want to see them stained by...whatever you are about to do!
>The entire group of p0nies leaves the stage and Bon Bon is next
>She has a pig on her side
Could you explain the pig please?
>BB:"Just wait, you`ll see"
>A sign appears
>It says: "The wonderful Bon Bon in: Anon`s sexual representation"
>Wat
She then proceeds to slaughter the pig and grabs one of his eyes
>WHY
>Luna and Celestia are teleported on the stage on the roles of Fluttershy and Twilight
>They start talking about animals and books, while Bon Bon hides on the stage behind a wooden door facing you
>Then Celestia and Luna talk about you
>C:"Oh Twilight, I`am sure that I will guess Anon`s fetish this time!"
>L:"We are sure that it`ll be easier if we just raped him"
>C:"Are you sure Twilight?"
>L:"Indeed we are, you can`t know if you don`t try!"
>They get closer to the door and knock 
>Bon Bon ask who is it from the other side of the door
>L:"It`s us! Kindness and Magic! We are here to rape you!
>The door opens and Bon Bon`s ass is facing you
>The pig`s eye is deep on her anus
>She spreeds her checks and waves them like if she was looking around and then says:
>BB:"I can see that..."
>Everyp0ny laughs and Bon Bon asks
>BB:"Are sexual representations of you your fetish Anon?"
>You don`t even respond
>Start to cry and call for the next one
>And so it continues
>During the entire day the mares drove you crazy with this crazy fetish guessing
>A man`s mind shouldn`t be forced to resist all this
>As the night falls, everyp0ny is sleepy or having sex with the dick-shaped ice-cream
>Confound this ponies...they drive you to drink
SPPPPLRR!
>You almost vomit when you took a sip of the drink at your hand
>This is the one that Lyra made
Fucking Lyra, ruining some good vodka...
>Finally there is only one p0ny left
>Fluttershy
>She gets on the stage and stares at the public instead of you
>F:"Mares and Gentlecolts. Today is the day that I find Anon`s fetish!"
You seem pretty secure of this Fluttershy
>F:"Indeed mister! You see... The rules of Fetish Guessing is to find your fetish at any costs, right?"
Yeah that was pretty good demostrated today...
>F:"Exactly, and in order to be your fetish, you have to enjoy it right?"
Yeeeees...
>F:"And here is what I thought. If Anon`s fetish was some old school [spoiler]>rape[/spoiler] >Then you wouldn`t be able to show that you enjoy it, otherwise it wouldn`t be [spoiler]>rape[/spoiler], right?"
>Brain damage inminent!
Fluttershy, what is your point?
>F:"My point is that there is no point now Anon, only rape..."
>She says while she ties you to the chair
Fluttershy damn it release me! This is NOT my fetish!
>F:"That`s what you would say if you enjoyed this but wouldn`t want to show it!"
AAAH MY BRAIN!
>So everything on this day was a waste
>Because you ended up
>Fucking Fluttershy