"You Can Get Away With Anything If you Try Hard Enough(RGREQG"
By LaPsbin (https://pastebin.com/u/LaPsbin)

URL: https://pastebin.com/ZQ72UYy1
Created on: Sunday 31st of December 2017 10:16:09 PM CDT
Retrieved on: Saturday 24 of October 2020 01:14:12 AM UTC


>Be Princess Twilight Sparkle
>Esquire 
>Today was an extra special day for your purple self
>Today you were going to help one of your friends with a problem
>A problem so... unique that not only did you have to think out of the box to solve it, you needed to cross a different dimension entirely
>But that was fine
>You were a big mare that didn't afraid of anything
>You also had access to a different dimension that you could go to whenever you felt like it
>So, after sending some letters, clearing your schedule, and talking your hesitant friend to joining on this journey with you, you found yourself in the human world
>You, Sunset, and this world's element bearers were sitting in a nice little restaurant that you had gone to once or twice
>It was a small place, but even so you were able to find a secluded booth to sit in
>Rainbow, Applejack, Pinkie, and Sunset were crammed into one side of the booth
>You, Rarity, this world's Twilight, and Fluttershy had taken seats in chairs next to the booth
>While the girls were normally rambunctious and a little loud--just like your friends at home--at the moment they were as quiet as a house full of mice
>Even Pinkie, who usually couldn't sit still for two seconds, wasn't moving a muscle
>You, and all of your friends were staring at the friend you were trying to help, who was sitting on the other side of the booth
>Anon, bless his coltish heart, was staring back at you with only a little bit of suspicion
>There was a plateful of food sitting in front of him uneaten, as was the same as the rest of the girls
>Food had been forgotten pretty much the moment that you had sat down and told them where Anon was from
>You had no idea if the girls had taken the news that Anon was from a different, different universe too well
>They didn't look all that upset, really, or even shocked
>To be honest, they looked completely facinated

>Even Rarity, who was a gentlemare in whatever form she happened to be in, was staring at him unabashedly and with interest 
>Anon, while he was never one to shy away from anything, seemed on edge from your staring
>Not too much, but you knew from experience that an on edge Anon was never a good thing
>Another minute of silence passed before Rainbow leaned toward in the booth
>"So... you like have male presidents and stuff?" she asked
>Anon nodded
>"Yep. Male presidents, founding fathers, boy bands, you name it."
>"And there's guys all in the army and they do construction work and shit like that?"
>Rarity's nose scrunched up
>"Rainbow, language," she said
>Rainbow ignored her, staring at Anon intently as he nodded
>"Yeah. I mean, there's some women in stuff like that but nowhere near as much as guy."
>Some of the girls exchanged glances
>You could see gears churning in heads as the progressed what he had just said
>"Ohoh! Do your women lay eggs?" Pinkie asked, nearly climbing onto the table as she leaned toward the stallion
>Poor Anon--who hadn't had many... positive experiences with your Pinkie--leaned away from her with a grimace 
>"No, just sticking dicks in the right holes. I'm sure you guys do the same here."
>Both Applejack and Rarity winced at Anon's bluntness 
>"So then your women..." Rarity said, before trailing off
>She made some vague hand gestures
>Applejack cleared her throat
>"I think Rarity's tryin' ta ask if yer womenfolk are the ones that stay at home, partner," she said
>"They did years ago," Anon replied, shrugging. "The man would go to work, the woman would stay and home and mind the kids and the hou--"
>"So girls are the sluts then?" Rainbow interrupted, a bit of excitement creeping into her voice. "They get the free drinks and all the guys they want and all of that shi--OW!"
>"Quit swearin' in front of 'em, Dash," Applejack said as Rainbow rubbed her arm, giving the farmer a dirty look. "It ain't polite."

>Anon gave you and the rest of the girls a quick glance
>You gave him your best reassuring smile, all the while fidgeting with your hands
>Holy horse apples was this a heck of a lot harder than you thought it was going to be...
>You looked over at Sunset hoping for some support, but the fiery haired was just staring hard at Anon, not moving an inch
>"So the men are the head honchos and all that?" Applejack said with a whistle, taking off her hat to fan herself with. "Whoo, that there's somethin' ta think 'bout..."
>The other girls nodded slowly
>"So you won't cry if I called you a dick or said that your hair looked dumb?" Rainbow said
>"No. I might call you a cunt but you'd need to do a hell of a lot more than that to make me cry."
>"Not that Rainbow would do such a thing, darling," Rarity assured. "Though she might seem a bit... crass, she's a gentlewomen at heart like the rest of us."
>Anon leaned back into his chair
>You watched as some of the tension left his body
>"Well... at least you don't have giant eyes or anything," he said, more to himself than anything. "You all still might be weird colors but at least you look like girls..."
>The girls looked like they wanted to say something to that but none of them really could figure out what
>So, once again, you all lapsed into silence for a minute or two, just looking at each other
>"So, Mr. Anonymous, may I ask what a man like yourself enjoys doing?" Rarity asked, crossing her legs
>Anon perked up
>"I do a lot of reading. Sometimes I like to do a bit of D and D stuff if you can talk me into it."
>Fluttershy reddened
>"D-D and D?" she mumbled, bringing a hand to her chest
>"Dungeons and Dragons, or Orks and Obelisks, or whatever you guys call it. Fantasy roleplaying,"Anon said
>Fluttershy let out a sigh that sounded both relieved and disappointed
>Rainbow and Pinkie made similar sounds
>"I..." Applejack began, only to stop

>Biting down on a knuckle, she drummed the fingers of her free hand against the table
>She frowned, furrowing her brow
>She opened her mouth, only to close it
>This happened two more times before she could finally say something
>"So what's it like?" she asked
>Anon shrugged
>"I went to work everyday, paid my taxes and tried to hit on good-looking, not crazy women."
>Rainbow snorted
>"Are you me?" she asked, only to get nudged in the ribs by Applejack
>"It wasn't bad," Anon continued, ignoring the little exchange. "I did the best I could with the stuff I had, I had fun when I could, I have some half-decent friends."
>He waved a hand in the air
>"There's nothing special about me. Not really."
>"But you're not even a guy though," Rainbow said, standing up as best as she could. "I mean you're a GUY, but... not really."
>"What I think Rainbow here means is that your experiences are completely unlike the men around here, dear," Rarity said. "Though that--"
>"Do you have a ball bra?!" Pinkie asked
>You all instinctively froze, all of you sucking air through your teeth
>Whatthefugswrongwithdisfilly?
>Anon's expression didn't change
>"Why would I need support for my balls?" he asked. "It's not like they're the size of basketballs or anything."
>"You're supposed to wear them to keep from sagging, silly!" Pinkie chirped, not knowing when to SHUT HER BUCKING MOUTH!
>Anon's nose scrunched up
>"...That's dumb. No, I don't have a ball bra. I'm not gonna get any either."
>"O-oh... my," you hear Fluttershy say, tugging at her collar
>Sunset licked her lips, her eyes narrowing
>She wiggled out of the booth and stood up, walking to the other side of the booth and sitting down next to Anon
>Anon, though a bit confused, did nothing as she stared at him
>"So what would you do if a girl placed a hand on your shoulder, Anon?" she asked
>"I might ask them if they needed anything I guess," Anon said
>Sunset looked him up and down before placing a hand on his shoulder

>The other girls flinched but said nothing
>"What about if a girl got really close to you and started asking you questions? Would you get mad?" Sunset asked, proceeding to scooch toward Anon until their sides were touching
>Anon tensed for a moment as they touched but quickly relaxed
>"It depends on the girl, but the worst I would do is tell them to move over a bit," he said.
>Sunset clicked her tongue
>Slowly, very slowly, she reached down and placed a hand on Anon's thigh
>She looked into Anon's eyes, gauging his reaction
>When Anon didn't scream to shout, like she was no doubt expecting, you saw a small smile work its way onto her face
>"So me doing this doesn't bother you?"
>Anon looked down at her
>"Ma'am, for the last year the only other people I've seen are crazy giant headed, giant eyed horses that randomly have singalongs. You could do a hell of a lot to me and I wouldn't bat an eye."
>In an instant, the other girls perked up
>"Anything?" Pinkie asked
>Before Anon could answer, Pinkie leapt over the table and, though Pinkietry, she found herself in the man's lap
>Rarity's eyes grew to the size of dinnerplates
>"Pinkie! You get off him right this--"
>Pinkie giggled, her face reddening
>Her face contorted, and you could see her squirming in Anon's lap
>Anon's hands, you noticed, couldn't be seen above the table
>"W-Wowie zowie..." Pinkie said, her breath hitching
>For the first time since Anon had stepped into the restaurant, he smiled
>His hands moved under the the table for a bit more, making Pinkie squirm and breathlessly giggle for a little more, before he stopped
> Wrapping his arms around Pinkie's middle, squishing her breasts together with his biceps, he rested his head on her shoulder
>"Pretty much anything," he said
>Sunset smacked her lips together
>"He's staying with me," she announced