"Silly Horses"
By LaPsbin (https://pastebin.com/u/LaPsbin)

URL: https://pastebin.com/qmFNpjsN
Created on: Thursday 4th of October 2018 11:39:42 AM CDT
Retrieved on: Saturday 24 of October 2020 01:13:32 AM UTC


"See? I told you one of the legs is about to bust."
>Celestia frowned, looking at the chair that you were rocking back and forth
>It's left leg was loose somehow
>A joint might have become worn out over the years, or maybe the whole chair was fucked
>You honestly didn't know
>Pony craftsmanship was pretty wonky even at the best of times
>"Hmm, I can see that," the cake enthusiast said with a nod. "Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Anon. I'll have one of the staff take it away and order a new one."
>A yes one?
>Hey now
>You were pretty sure there wasn't anything wrong with this chair
>With a big of elbow grease you were sure it'd be like new
>You picked up the chair, flipping it over so you could look at the undercarriage
>Sure enough, it looked like the leg just needed glued
>A better fix would to just replace the leg with a new one
"Ehh... I'm pretty sure it can be fixed up," you said, setting it down onto the table in front of you and scratching your chin. "I'd just need to take a quick trip to a hardware store."
>Celestia's ears perked up
>"You could fix it?" she asked
>There was something odd about her voice as she said it
>It didn't have it's usual motherly tone
>If you didn't know any better, you'd have said she sounded concerned
>"Not to sound old fashioned, but isn't that sort of work dangerous? I wouldn't want you hurting yourself, dear," she continued
"Hurting myself? No, it's just a bit of woodworking," you said with a wave of the hand. "Real basic stuff. The kind that they teach in high school. Nothing dangerous at all."
>Celestia bit her lip
>"Are you sure? I know how fragile you males can be..." she said, ears folding back against her skull

>You'd have been mildly annoyed by the blatant sexism if sun horse hadn't looked so worried
"Come on. If you're so unsure you can come with me," you said, giving her head a pat. "I'll just need some tools. A hammer, some glue, and maybe a piece of wood."
>"...Alright, if you're sure, Anon," Celestia said, nodding slowly. "I'll accompanying you, if only to help you carry everything back to the castle."


~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

>"Alright sir, that'll be one hammer, a bottle of wood glue, one chair leg, a hard hat, give pairs of gloves... a suit of chainmail, a fire extinguisher, two rolls of industrial bubble wrap, welding mask and ten safety nets?"
>You looked over at Celestia, who looked much too proud of herself
>Why did a fucking hardware store even HAVE a suit of chainmail?
"I... yeah, that's it."
>You reached for your bit bag, only for a wing to be placed over your help
>"Anon, please. Allow me..."

~_~_~_~_~_~

>"Careful now, Anon. Careful! You could poke your eye out with that!"
>You looked down at the hammer in your hands
>You could barely hold the thing with all of the gloves that you were wearing
>The hat and welding mask that had been placed on your head was also making it a little hard to see
>You raised it a bit
>A gasp could be heard from behind you
>"Careful! That hammer could fly out of your hand and hit you on the head!"
>You sighed, looking over your shoulder to see sun horse holding a pillow closely to her chest
>Floating in front of her was that fire extinguisher, pointed right at you primed and ready
>You looked up to see all of those damned safety nets floating above you
>Fuck, that hammer better not slip, otherwise you'll get buried in a mountain of shit
"Alright, I'm gonna start swinging the hammer okay? Don't freak out, alright?"
>Celestia said nothing

>She could only nod, purple eyes barely peeking over her pillow

~_~_~_~_~_~

"See? As good as new."
>Celestia watched as you tried to rock the chair
>The sucker didn't so much as budge
>You weren't a master carpenter by any means, but you couldn't help be proud of the work you did
>Now this chair would last a couple more years
>Probably...
>Sun horse looked prouder than you, smiling form ear to ear
>"Oh, I knew you could do it, Anon!" she said, darting over and pulling you into a hug, first with her hooves then her wings. 
>You gave her a pat on the head
"Yeah. I knew I could do it too."
>The mood was ruined somewhat when you felt a hoof reach down to give your butt a pinch
>Still hugging this big dumb horse, you reached back and placed her hoof in a more appropriate position
>"Come on, Anon. Let's celebrate with some cake!"
>You sighed
>Why was it always cake?