"Paladin Kobold Quest (Updated 23/2)"
By JeffMango (https://pastebin.com/u/JeffMango)

URL: https://pastebin.com/vKzYKmtV
Created on: Wednesday 13th of February 2019 08:26:40 AM CDT
Retrieved on: Saturday 31 of October 2020 10:45:10 PM UTC


>Starsliver Pass, the road that pierces through the Mangler Mountains, is the quickest road way to get between the great cities of Terrace Major and Terrace Alter
>It's also far and away the most dangerous, with bandits, trolls, and rape goblins squatting behind practically every jagged outcropping of rock
>Only a fool or a cheapskate would ever dare to risk it
>Unfortunately, Vix Vatatan was both
>The infamous quarter-elvish merchant had decided to make a quick run through the pass, hauling on his back an entire pack full practically to the point of bursting with plundered wizardly loot, all just begging to be cashed in for gold in Terrace Alter's notoriously shady black markets
>Vix had eluded royal guard for years, how hard could a few bandits be to dodge?
>Pretty hard, it turned out
>A lashing, frigid rain had just started to fall, and lightning illuminated the shrouded figures now blocking his path
"Evening, fellas," Vix started. "Not a nice night to be out, eh? Figure I can just pay my toll and we can all be on our way."
>He flashed his characteristic grin, the kind that had gotten him out of every close call in his life, so far
>The tallest of the shrouded bandits stepped forward, and metal glinted at his side as he unsheathed a long, jagged dagger
>"Funny. We were just thinkin' the same thing."
"No need for that, friend-o. I'm on your side! See, got my gold all ready."
>Vix opened his palm, showing off a few coins nestled in his palm
>The bandit sneered
>"Five gold ain't gonna cut it. Open the pack."
"Now, I hardly think that'll be--"
>Vix's words were knocked out of him as a heavy elbow slammed into his back, sending him sprawling on his hands and knees in the mud
>He coughed violently, trying to pull air into his lungs as rain splattered his back
"The pack? There's nothing there, just some personal belongings. Socks, underwear, a picture of granny, you know. It's really not worth looking at."
>"Shut him up," the leader said
>The bandit towering over Vix grunted, and a massive, sweaty hand closed around Vix's throat...
"Hey..." Vix tried to choke out. "Ease up... big guy... just take it if you... want it..."
>"That's the plan," the leader whispered, his voice barely audible over the storm. "We just can't afford any witnesses."
"Oh."
>Vix's mind was already growing dark, and death began to settle over him in a cold, numbing embrace
>And then, suddenly, the pressure around his throat was gone
>Consciousness slammed back into Vix, and he found himself lying sprawled at the feet of the bandits
>And next to him, the man who'd just nearly choked the life from Vix lay dead, an arrow protruding from his back
>The remaining bandits weren't paying Vix or their dead companion any attention, though
>Instead, they were staring down the path, towards where the cliffs that hemmed in Starsilver Pass pressed together in an arch of rock
>Beneath the arch, bathed in shadow and mist from the rain, stood a figure barely three feet tall, hidden by a weather-beaten cloak
>A flash of lightning illuminated the figure for a moment, and Vix's keen eyes caught sight of clawed hands holding a composite bow, a second arrow already notched
>"Spare the life of the human!" the figure called out in a voice that was clearly female, though colored with a strange, lilting accent
"Quarter-elf, actually" Vix mumbled into the mud
>Nobody paid him any attention
>"Spare him?" the bandit leader replied. "He's a thief as much as us."
>"He will answer to the gods for his crimes! But you answer to Kazette, if you touch him!"
>The figure stepped forward and threw back her hood, revealing dragonoid features and dazzling blue scales
>Her eyes burned with determination, and Vix could swear that the area around her grew brighter as she advanced
>The bandits, however, just laughed
>"A kobold? Playin' at bein' a knight? Oh, this'll be fun. Get her, boys! We'll take that armor, then we're skinnin' you for those pretty scales!"
>One of the bandits unhooking a mace from his belt and hefted it up above his head as he advanced towards the kobold
>She, in turn, unclasped her cloak and let it fall to her clawed feet, revealing plate armor that shone silver in the starlight
>A kobold-sized sword as clasped at her back, and she drew it from its sheath in a liquid, practiced motion
>Her eyes flicked to Vix, lying helpless on the ground, then to the bandit advancing towards her
>"Kazette wishes you no harm. Retreat and she will spare you."
>"That's cute," the bandit said. And then he swung his mace towards the kobold with enough force to crush her skull, had she still been standing there when it landed
>Instead, the weapon swished through the air and Kazette nimbly ducked below the bandit's blow
>She swung her sword in a clean, silver arc straight through her attacker's arm
>It severed just below the shoulder, and a gout of blood fountained into the air
>The bandit gasped, too shocked to feel pain, and sank to his knees
>Kazette dispatched him with a quick blow to the kneck, sending his head rolling down his chest and onto the ground
>The remaining three bandits bellowed in fury, and charged the kobold knight
>She stood her ground, gripping the mud with her clawed toes
>Vix, meanwhile, was lying as still as he could, even as he snuck one hand into his backpack and rooted around for anything that might come in handy
>Two of the bandits attempted to surround the kobold, but Kazette flicked her tail and threw mud into the first man's eyes, blinding him
>He flailed blindly with the axe he held, and ended up splitting his companion's skull open
>Kazette ducked behind the blinded man and ended him with a thrust of her sword to the base of his spine
>She turned, half her face stained by her enemies' blood, and faced the leader
>He gritted his teeth, and stepped back towards Vix
>"I don't know what in the seven hells you are. But I think that's enough."
>He knelt down, and Vix felt a knife press against his throat just as he succeeded in wrapping his hand around a magic rod of some sort
>"Just run off and play knight somewhere else, lizard girl. You don't want your human friend to taste Whisper here, do you?"
"Quarter-elf," Vix said, and he clicked the trigger-gem at the base of the rod
>Immediately, a gout of dazzling purple fair spurted from the rod's tip, engulfing the bandit leader's head
>With a shriek of pain, he stumbled off Vix, clutching at his rapidly crispifying features
>Kazette seized her opportunity, darted forward, and drove the point of her sword into the bandit's chest
>He slumped to the ground, still, his head slowly reduced to a pile of smoldering, glittering ash
>Vix sat up, took one look at the kobold, and held his hands up in a gesture of surrender
>Now that the fight was over, she regarded him with annoyance, bordering on contempt
>"You are a fool."
"Guilty as charged. But hey, I'm alive."
>"Thanks to Kazette, and to the grace of the gods. You made many bad choices, human."
"Quarter-elf, actually. Can't you see it in the ears?"
>He pushed aside his hair to show her, but Kazette did not seem interested
>"You should not come here. Turn back. The way home is safe. That, Kazette can guarantee."
"Whoa, whoa. Not gonna happen. You think I'm risking my hide out there alone? Again? Nope, I've learned my lesson. I'm sticking with you."
>"Kazette never said that was an option."
"Hey, c'mon. I come in pretty handy! You saw how I toasted our friend's face there, right?"
>"It was luck, or providence. Kazette does not believe you should push either."
"Hey, luck is useful too. Please let me come with you? I'll pay you."
>"Kazette is not interested in money."
"Sure, sure. But what about a shitload of money? This stuff'll sell for thousands, and that's low-balling things. C'mon, at least take me to the next city."
>"Kazette has her duty to attend to."
"Yeah, yeah. Duty is great! Gotta protect poor, sad innocents like me, right? Lemme tell you, the best way to protect us is to keep a close eye on us. I can't do anything unsupervised."
>"Kazette is starting to worry you will follow her whether she wishes it or not."
"You are *really* sharp for a kobold, you know that?"
>Kazette sighed
"Besides, you're gonna get nothing but trouble in Terrace Alter. You need someone who can talk. Who knows the city. Like me."
>"Kazette does not need talk. She has Lichtus," the kobold knight said, brandishing her sword for a moment before she sheathed it again
"Yeah, but waving a sword around won't do you much good with the locals. They tend to not like that. Tell you what, I'll take you there, fix us up with some primo lodgings, get us some food, get us out of the rain, and you can make sure I don't die in the process."
>Kazette turned her eyes on Vix, scrutinizing him with the kind of suspicion only a kobold can muster
>Up close, Vix could see that her eyes were a dazzling topaz color
>"And then you are going off. By yourself."
"I'll be glad to!"
>"Hmph. Kazette does see the wisdom in your words. Self-serving wisdom, but still wisdom."
"Now you're talking!"
>Vix staggered to his feet, and went to retrieve Kazette's cloak
>On his way, he made sure to filch the money pouched from the bandit corpses, and he gave a special kick to the one who had nearly choked him to death
>"You should not disrespect the dead," Kazette scolded him when he handed the cloak over
"Hey, I'm giving them the same respect I'd give them when they were alive. And besides, I'm not the one who lopped their heads off."
>"Kazette did what her gods deemed to be just."
"You worship some brutal gods."
>"Gods know that violence is part of life."
"You are *scary*, you know that? Glad you're on my side."
>"Kazette never said she was on your--"
"Anyway, let's head out! This is only gonna get worse, and I need me some food. How fast can you keep up on those little legs, anyway?"
>"Fast enough. And now Kazette will request you stop talking."
"Can do, can do. Just wanna know you won't get tired, and all that."
>"Kazette has walked many miles from her homeland."
"I bet! Don't see many kobolds around here, at least not ones like you. Speaking of, how'd you get like this? You know, all badass and stuff."
>"Kazette has asked you to stop talking."
"Right."
>The two set off, both now huddled beneath their cloaks against the rain
>Vix's boots squelched annoyingly into the mud with each step, but Kazette's nimble feet seemed to have no problem with it
>For a long time, they were silent, and no sound disturbed their walk except the hiss of rain
"Hey. Forgot to say this."
>"You are breaking your promise to stay silent. Kazette hopes this is worth saying."
"Thanks. For back there."
>"Oh."
>Kazette hid her face beneath her hood
>"Is nothing. Simply Kazette doing her duty. Nothing more."
>As they walked on, Vix tried to get a peak at her expression
>And though he couldn't quite see it, he got the feeling she may have been blushing
>Can kobolds blush?

>The freezing drizzle of rain quickly intensified as the two new companions set off, and soon the air howled with furious winds and sharp, cold torrents of rain fell upon the heads of both human (mostly) and kobold
>Kazette surged ahead, seeming unfazed by the elements
>Vix hugged his pack tightly against his chest, trying his best to shelter its contents with his body
>He didn't want to think what some of the stuff in there might do if it got wet
>Mercifully, the outer reaches of Terrace Alter soon came into view as Starsilver Past opened up, disgorging the two travellers into the lit tendrils of the city that snaked their way through the rocky terrain
"Up there!" Vix shouted to be heard over the rain
>He gestured towards a plateau of slate, where a squat one-story building stood, its windows projecting shafts of welcoming orange light into the rainy night
"I know it doesn't look like much, but it's a real nice inn!  Elf-owned!  My people, they'll trust me!"
>"Kazette is having trouble believing anybody trusts you."
"Ouch, but I'll ignore that.  Just let me do the talking, okay?  Not everyone around here is as accepting of kobolds as I am."
>Kazette looked like she wanted to protest
>But she also looked like she wanted really badly to get out of the rain, and was willing to accept being a little patronized in return

>A set of slippery stone steps led the two up to the inn's front door, where a sign swung in the violent wood, pronouncing the name of the place bilingually in the flat, basic letters of common and the flowery Elvish script
"It says 'Serendipity Springs.'"
>"Kazette can read."
"Sorry.  Didn't know."
>Beneath her cowl, Kazette rolled her eyes
>Meanwhile, Vix shouldered the door open, letting them both into a tiny mud-room
>Vix knocked as much mud from his boots as he could, and Kazette respectfully wiped the sludge from her clawed feet
"So, here's how we're gonna play this.  You're a servant, okay?"
>"Kazette is no servant!"
"I know, I know!  But trust me, they're not gonna like a wandering kobold knight, around here.  It just ain't right."
>"Hmph.  Kazette is very much not concerened with what the humans like, or do not."
"They're elves here, mostly.  You know how elves are about anything draconic.  Old race-war hatred, all that icky stuff."
>"Foolish to hold onto such grudges, Kazette thinks."
"Yeah, well, don't go telling that to them.  Just keep your head down.  Hell, pretend you don't even speak common."
>"And if they wish for a fight?  Kazette has honor she will uphold."
>Vix sighed
"If they really do wanna fight, just *try* not to kill anyone.  These aren't bandits, they have friends.  Sometimes powerful ones."
>"Kazette only kills when necessary."
"That's... not so reassuring," Vix muttered to himself
>And with that, he lead them into the inn proper
>Immediately, the travellers were greeted with a clean, though somewhat cramped room, lit by glowing glass orbs hung in decorative wooden sconces on the walls
>The walls were oak-panneled, and they soaked in the light and radiated back a rich, smoky ambiance
>A few tables were scattered about, served be a slender serving-girl who flitted with impeccable grace between the them
>At the far end of the room, a slightly older elf with penetrating, icy eyes stood regarding the newcomers
>"Vix Vatatan.  I did not expect to be meeting your acquaintance again."
"What can I say?  I'm notoriously hard to kill."
>"Actually, it was because I threw you out, last time."
"Hey, water under the bridge, Elorius.  How are things, my mellon?"
>"They just became exceedingly worse."
"Oof, sorry to hear that.  But hey, I do got a bit of good news.  Myself and my, uh, squire here are in need of a place to stay.  And I am ready to pay real, real well for a room and a bath."
>"My decisions are not swayed by money.  You know this."
"Elorius!  Buddy, come on!  Sinethe a'el iligayn, I speak your language, friend-o!  Just a place to crash, and we're gone before you know it.  I'm way too tired to start and trouble.  Plus I am desperate, let me tell you..."
>Vix flashed a palm full of gold, which he hoped was more than the price of a room
>Elorius sighed, then regarded Kazette
>"And what is this... thing, you have brought?  Will it be staying inside?"
>Vix could sense Kazette bristling in anger behind him, and he quickly cut in
"She will be staying with me."
>Elorius looked as though Vix had personally urinated in his dweomer-wine
>"If the drac'liath is to stay with you, I will require--"
"Way ahead of you, Elorius my guy.  Here, here."
>Vix emptied two palm-fulls of gold onto the table
>Elorius raised an eyebrow
>"Upstairs.  First room on the right.  Baths are down the stairs.  And I expect you to pay for any cleaning your pet requires."
"And I expect you not to gyp me and my *friend* on the complimentary dweomer-wine.  You forgot it, last time, I recall."
>"We will see."
"You bet we will."
>Elf and sort-of elf stared each other down for a second
>Vix held eye contact even as he shuffled around the desk, towards the hallway leading to his room
>Kazette followed behind, her head still down, though her eyes burned bright beneath her hood

>"Kazette is left disappointed by her first meeting of elf-kind."
"Myself not included, I hope?"
>"Kazette has abstained from judgement on you."
>The two had just left their possessions in their rooms, and were now descending the stone stairs into the baths
>At the bottom of the stairs, they found themselves in a low-ceilinged underground cavern, about fifty feet in length, and lit by more of the glowing spheres, this time set in stone pillars placed throughout the room
>The baths were circular springs, carved smoothly from the rock and fed by magically enhanced springs from deep below the earth
>In one corner, there were bamboo screens that could be placed between the baths if one desired privacy
>Kazette approached the nearest pool and dipped her tail inside
>A tiny gasp of pleasure escaped her lips
>"Aaah.  Kazette worried elf-kind would be too fragile for real heat.  It is nice."
"It's the best part of coming here, in my opinion.  Well, except for dweomer-wine, which I swear to Xalla if they don't bring us a bottle..." Vix mumbled as he picked up a screen for the two of them
>When he turned around, Kazette was already stripping out of her armor
"Whoa, whoa.  You know, you could at least warn me first."
>"Why?"
>Kazette didn't even blink as she slid out of the last of her clothes
>Vix looked away
>"Humans and elf-kind are so weird about bodies, Kazette thinks."
"That's because we're civilized," Vix responded, holding a hand over his eyes
>"Kazette does not see why fearing bodies is civilized.  Seems to her more like a very confused mind."
>He heard a small splash as Kazette slipped into the water, then headed to his own bath
"Confused or not, I'm going to ask that you at least close your eyes while I get in."
>"Kazette has no interest in your body."
"Well, Vix has interest in a little privacy.  No peeking."
>Annoyed, Kazette shut her eyes while Vix disrobed, then lowered himself beneath the water of his own, separate bath
>It scalded at first, but quickly receded into a pleasant blanket of warmth
"Oh, man.  That worth almost dying."
>"Kazette maybe is not in full agreement.  But she is pleased."
>Vix heard a splash, and turned to look at the kobold
>Kazette was leaning against the wall of the bath, regarding him with a curious expression
"What?"
>"Kazette is remembering what you said.  She was surprised.  You are braver than she thought."
"Thanks?  I guess?"
>"You call Kazette your friend.  Is this true, or merely said in haste?"
"I don't know.  After you saved me life, I think 'friend' is the least I can say."
>A tiny smile touched Kazette's lips
>"You are a strange one.  You risk your life for gold.  Both brave and cowardly.  But you speak well of friends.  This, first thing about you that Kazette can respect."
"Hey, you're one to talk.  I barely even know kobolds could speak, let alone... what you're doing.  Why are you doing it, anyway?  The whole wandering knight thing."
>"Kazette has a mission."
"Care to elaborate?"
>"It is long story.  Kazette maybe will tell you soon.  For now, know that Kazette has special duty to gods of her people."
"I thought the kobold god was a bit of a backstabbing jackoff.  Oh, wait, no offense.  You know what I mean, though, he's not as noble as someone like you."
>"Kazette not speak of Kurtulmak.  He is a usurper.  He is turning Kazette's kind into cowardly, cretinous vermin.  Kazette despises Kurtulmak more than the arch-demons themselves.  Kazette speaks of old gods.  Sacred dragons, creators and protectors of kobold kind."
"The four holy drakes?  That old legend?"
>"Legend is based on truth.  Kazette has heard her gods call to her.  She will be the one to awaken them!"
>As Kazette spoke, that same brilliance seemed to burn through her as when she'd first saved Vix
"Whoa.  You're serious."
>"Kazette is quite serious.  Your doubt is no hindrance."
"Hey, you're the last thing I doubt.  It's just the whole gods stuff in general."
>"Only a fool doubts that gods exist."
"It's less about exist, more about whether or not they, you know, really care all that much.  No god helped me when I was getting my windpipe crushed, I'll remind you."
>"But they did help.  They send Kazette."
"Oh."
>Vix crossed and re-crossed his legs under the water
"Maybe they did."
>"What about you?  Kazette have duty.  What do you have?  Gold?"
"Gold and a quick mouth.  That'll get you anything."
>"Seems a lonely way to live, to Kazette."
"You get by.  Sometimes you meet some pretty interesting folk, along the way."
>"You refer to Kazette?"
"Maybe."
>"Hmm.  Interesting not the worst thing said of Kazette today..."
>For a moment, both quarter-elf and kobold fell silent
>Their silence was quickly interrupted by the sound of feet against the stone steps
>The willowy serving girl descended into the baths, a wooden try held aloft in one hand, bearing a bottle of dark glass
"The dweomer-wine!  Thank the creators, you remembered it this time!  Hannon, my girl."
>The lady elf said nothing in response, she simply held out the tray, seeming as impatient as her impossibly graceful features would allow
"You know, uh, maybe you could just leave that nearby, and close your eyes for a moment, heh..." Vix said as he crossed his hands over his groin
>Kazette shook her head in annoyance
>"Civilized, he tells Kazette..." she muttered under her breath, and then hopped out of the bath, strolling nonchalantly over to the servant girl
>The elf stared with barely disguised down at Kazette
>As she handed over the bottle, she let it slip from her hands, where it would have crashed to the ground, had Kazette's tail not flicked up and curled around it 
>She caught the dweomer-wine neatly before it could be lost
>The serving girl's face hardly changed, and Kazette gave her a polite bow
>"Kazette wishes you steady hands.  And she thanks you."
>The lady muttered something in Elvish, and slipped back out of the baths
>As Kazette headed back over to her pool, Vix did allow himself one quick glance at her
>Her body was lithe, as all kobolds tended to be, but impressive coils of muscles showed in her arms and thighs, hinting at her unexpected strength
>There was a definite feminine shape to her, with hips wider than her shoulders, though the muscle swelling her thighs accounted for much of that
>While she had breasts, Vix specifically kept his gaze away from that area, as well as her other places he didn't think it would be polite to get too curious about
>Her scales were the same dazzling sapphire color over most of her body, though her belly and the underside of her tail were a tad lighter, almost aquamarine
>More than anything, Vix was surprised as how she blended the slinky nature of kobolds with a knight's poise, lending her a graceful, powerful pose far beyond what you'd expect from such a small frame
>Kazette, if she noticed Vix watching her, didn't care
>She slipped into the water, setting the bottle on the stone floor between her bath and his
"Hmm, they didn't give us any glasses."
>"Kazette has no problem with sharing this bottle, if you do not."
"Now you're talking.  Besides, we're warriors, right?  It's only proper."
>"Kazette does not know about the 'we," she said as she popped the cork out with her clawed finger
>She leaned out of the bath to pass the bottle to Vix, but he waved it away
"Nah, you get first drink.  You've earned it."
>Kazette shrugged, then tilted the bottle to her lips, taking a long sip of the wine
>"It is... strong.  But in a strange way.  Kazette feels like she is drinking someone else's dream."
"That's like the best description of dweomer-wine I've ever heard.  Now give it here."
>Kazette passed over the bottle, and Vix put it to his own lips and drank
>The wine ran first cold, then hot, then sort of electrifyingly fuzzy down his throat
>Almost immediately, the colors in the room began to grow more vibrant, and the pool began to feel like it, or she, was caressing him with warm, liquid arms
"Oh, it's been too long."
>A tiny, hissing chuckle sounded from Kazette's pool
>She was lounging in her bath now, her tail flicking happily in the water
>Neither of them felt like talking for a bit, they just drifted in their pool as they passed the bottle, gradually draining it down as the world swam and pulsed around them

>Later, when the hot water and the subtle sweetness of wine had begun to make them drowsy, both Vix and Kazette clambered out of their pools and headed towards their room
>Vix insisted Kazette wrap herself in a towel first, which she reluctantly agreed to
>The room was nothing special, aside from a bit of carved elvish decor along the walls, patterned after leaves rippling in the wind
>There was only one bed, because of course there was only one bed
>Vix sighed
"Okay, look, I gotta level with you.  I know you saved me, but I really need my eight hours or tomorrow I'm going to--"
>"Take the bed.  Kazette does not want it."
"Oh.  That was easy."
>Kazette laid her armor diligently out on the wooden floor, then spread her cloak out next to it
>"Is the way Kazette is used to sleeping."
"I see.  You, uh, want one of the pillows or something?"
>"No.  Kazette not enjoy soft things.  She is not sure why humans and elf-kind find it so appealing.  Stone strong, secure, and you hear enemies coming from far off.  Bed will only make Kazette's neck hurt."
"Not gonna argue with that.  You okay if I kill the light?"
>Kazette nodded, and Vix ran his hand over the room's single glowing orb, extinguishing it
"Takes an elvish touch," he said to a Kazette he could no longer see, then folded himself in the blankets, clutching his bag of stolen magical wares against his chest
>He heard the whisper of cloth slipping over scales as Kazette removed her towel, and then the creaking of floorboards as she settled in on her makeshift bed
>"And tomorrow we are parting, yes?" she asked
"Probably, unless you've got other plans."
>"Kazette has much more than plans.  Kazette has long road ahead of her."
"Can't say I envy you.  Soon as this loot's sold, I'm buying an estate in the Gilded Districts, changing my name, and enjoying life for a while."
>"Hmm.  Also a position Kazette doesn't envy."
"Come on, not even a little?  Even a kobold's gotta appreciate the finer things."
>"Kazette does not appreciate, nor desire.  Nor have knowledge of."
"Really?  Can't say I'm too surprised.  But, if you're even in ol' Terrace A again, and are looking for a good time..."
>"Kazette does not think either of those things will be happening to her, in the future."
"Suit yourself."
>With that, both elf (sort of) and kobold allowed themselves to sleep, both anticipating tomorrow being the last they saw of each other, and the first they saw of their respective bright futures
>If they only could have known how wrong they were, they'd have cherished that last, peaceful night