"Mechanon and the Space Mares 8 - "Christwanzakadonamas""
By Hexus (https://pastebin.com/u/Hexus)

URL: https://pastebin.com/p3ckpuLG
Created on: Saturday 4th of July 2015 05:03:45 PM CDT
Retrieved on: Saturday 31 of October 2020 04:20:14 AM UTC


>Something you had found out quickly when you were transferred to living on an alien base?
>Things were often not as straight forward as they seemed.
>The strange squad you had been assigned certainly wasn't, and neither were your provided bathroom facilities, but that's a story for some other time.
>As you awoke to the noise of an elongated, groaning buzz in your quarters, the walls weren't necessarily fixed either.
>You stirred and turned to find a giant eye staring at you through the gaping hole that was your room's wall.
>Your less than graceful response sent a familiar laugh that rattled your brain.
>"Hahahaha!” your personal auto translator squeaked into your ear, barely audible underneath the stifled giggling.
>"Humans are adorable when they’re sleeping, did you know that?"
>The eye’s owner took a couple of steps back to reveal you saw a sprawling equine face.
>The torrent of light made you squint sharply at the grinning figure.
>Was she standing outside the supply closet in the barracks hall?
>What maniac even puts a retracting door to your room there?
>She cocked her head to the side at your visible disappointment.
>"Oh, oh I'm so sorry, human! I just had to wake you up early.”
>Zero comprehension dawned across your face.
>"It’s Christwanzakadonamas!"
"Chri-what?”
>”Look, see?”
>She raised a foreleg up and presented you with a massive bracelet device with a bright theatre-sized screen.
>You looked at the various figures and symbols scrawled across it in the alien language.
>Nope, can’t read horse runes yet.
“I think you mean Christmas.”
>"Kree-Kreh... Kuh...Kuhreaze'moose?"
“Christmas.”
>”Kuhreezgras?”
“Christmas.”
>She glanced at her device again.
>”Human sacred time of the happy laughing fat man and sock gifts?”
“Close enough.”
>”Come out, I have a surprise for you!”
“How do you always know when it’s a holiday before I do?”
>”I have a calendar that gives me reminders for human holidays!” 
>She put a hoof to her lips and twitched an ear.
>Now that the window into the other room was open, you could hear what could only be vaguely described as a deranged air-raid siren in the distance.
>Was that her calender notice noise?
>”Oops, I left it on.”
>”Daisy!” another voice yelled from somewhere in the barracks.
>“Turn it off!”
>Her face flushed, the reddening beneath her coat barely visible at this proximity.
>”Yes, squad leader!”
>Without further ado she leaves the port window and rushes off to obey with only a hasty last word to you.
>”See you in the cafeteria!”
>You get dressed and move out, moving along the walkways that lined the rooms as anyone smaller than the Equestrians were supposed to.
>You emerged into the cafeteria to quite a surprise.
>A child’s Christmas dream come true. 
>There were giant presents set carefully in a loose circle around a giant evergreen that brushed the ceiling almost thrice as tall as your mech. 
>How it had gotten in here was a mystery.
>As you made it to the floor and dared to approach the tree, you checked for giant ponies.
>None appearing, you scurried to the nearest box, wrapped in colorful wrapping of abstract designs and patterns.
>It had a large mark on the side, the only one you could read in their language.
>”Human.”
>In fact, they all said it.
>What sort of gifts the squad might have for each other was beyond you, but you were damned sure to find out.
>Before you had even gotten within a hundred feet the front blew open to reveal the contents.
>”Tadaaaa!”
“Daisy!”
>She bounced enthusiastically from side to side in her tight confines.
>”And everyone else, too!”
>The next closest whisked open to show your own stone-faced squad leader, trying far too hard to not smile.
>Her sensible, short mane and tail had a single bow in each.
>She almost looked cute if she could stop with the light scowl.
>Come to think of it, this was possibly Wave's first time with anything other than just her officer's uniform or her armor on. 
>Her visible discomfort next to the relaxed and energetic Daisy almost made you feel bad for her.
>Almost.
>The third box flew open, the bow sent flying by the force of a hoof used to precisely hitting as hard as possible at the weakest point.
>Thusly, the strong frame of Hoof Step appeared with an affirmative nod of a mission accomplished from the squad leader.
>Daisy waved for attention again and she gestured a hoof to the last box.
>”And Big Bounty!”
>You look to the remaining present, which explodes in a burst of fire and smoke.
>Daisy squeals under the hail of broken pieces of partially-roasted cardboard. 
>When the smoke clears, Bounty is left standing, wearing her combat armor, usually polished surface blackened, and a dazed expression across her face.
>She coughed, mane singed.
>”Guess I messed up.”
>Immediately the squad leader is on her. 
>”What did I tell you about using ordinance off the field! That armor is not a toy! You’ll never make heavy weapons certification if you keep doing this-what would your mother and father think-I swear if you do something dangerous like that again and I’m going to..."
>In the middle of the very aggressive lecture, Daisy, box and all, tilts over with a grunt and a heavy thud as she tries to get out.
>The scene is a little less than festive as Wave Runner continues to berate Bounty while Hoof Step just stands idly by, watching the scene unfold.
>Daisy follows your focus to the scene around her and when the two of you look back at each other, she looks positively crestfallen.
>"I, I just wanted to make you happy."
>You approach a ways so she can better hear you over the racket in the room.
"It's fine, you did a lot. The day's not wasted, it's only-"
>You glance at your watch's display, reading it aloud.
"09:00... December 19th."
>You look back up at the watery eyes of the monsterhorse.
"Daisy."
>She sniffs.
>"Yeah?"
"Christmas is on the 25th, not the 19th."
>She inhales suddenly and you flinch out of reflex.
>"You mean I have a second chance?"
"Sure you do."
>Her cheer was as sudden as it was devastatingly loud. 
>Yep. 
>Giant.
>Alien.
>Ponies.