"Pony Pickup Lines"
By FrankHogs555 (https://pastebin.com/u/FrankHogs555)

URL: https://pastebin.com/FPPmK3vT
Created on: Wednesday 24th of May 2017 06:45:25 AM CDT
Retrieved on: Saturday 31 of October 2020 10:52:50 PM UTC


https://boards.4chan.org/mlp/thread/30126962
>You know what I love the most about books anon?
>Taking an amazing looking book to my bed, where I could alternate reading on my stomach or on my back
>To unfasten the clasp keeping me from taking a good look
>To push the covers apart so that the book is completely open to me
>To nestle my head deep between the covers of the book, and take in the musk the parchment 
>And just mindlessly allow myself to revel there, taking in all of the text, and consuming all of the contents it has
>To study as long or as hard as necessary to get what I crave from inside the book...

>Anon, can you please let me know if you have any for me to read?
>I would gladly take any of your books to checkout
>Then I can read it anytime, anywhere
>For as long as you'd let me of course
>You know me anon, I'm the best at taking care of books



“Sorry, toots — I’m a hard-cover to crack open, not one of yer flimsy paperbacks,” I said, placing my drink down.
>She leaned her elbows on the table as her head came close to mine all sweet-like.
>“Don’t worry, I don’t judge books by their cover alone,” she says to me in a smooth-talkin’ voice, batting her lashes. “I’m more a fan of the content itself. You know, stories of all genres: action, mystery, adventure...”
“Romance?”
>“Well, I’d be open to that too,” she grinned. “But I’m more interested in a thriller.”
>Gal knew how to talk in my language, that’s fer sure. 
>Sadly I ain’t the kind fer talkin’ in general.
“Ya want thrills, sweetheart, find another story.”
>“Why? 'Fraid I can’t take it all in?”
“No, but because this book don’t give out happy endings like ya give books at a libary, babe.”
>She smirked.
>“Don’t act like you’re not interested. I know you’ve been ‘reading’ the back of my ‘book’.”
>It was true.
>The broad did have a well-rounded rear; the kind you wanna grab at and hold firmly in yer hands, spread apart at let loose on.
>I ain’t the kind to let loose much, though.
>She knew this.
>She was smart.
>Unfortunately, that’s just the way I like ‘em.
>“C’mon. What’m I s’posed to do? Buy ya a drink?”
“Buy a ticket outta here, ‘cause you're like a ticket to trouble. I know yer kind, toots: all sweet and doll-eyed one minute, then ya leave in the morning, taking what I got. I ain’t dealin’ with no Princesses, even if ya wanna job done, even if you gotta case that’s worth a trip to Haywaii. I don’t work fer Princesses.”
>She stared at me, the line on her mouth beginning to tremble.
>A small laugh escaped her, more follow.
>...I start as well, killing the act.
>This is silly.
“Anonymous. Nice to meet you. Read noir?”
>“Princess Twilight Sparkle,” she says, offering a hoof to shake. “I guess you could say I like a good book…”