"Zombie Apocalypse Shorts"
By Duke_Of_Derpy (https://pastebin.com/u/Duke_Of_Derpy)

URL: https://pastebin.com/fuEFVbmA
Created on: Friday 1st of June 2012 08:38:10 AM CDT
Retrieved on: Saturday 31 of October 2020 04:22:27 AM UTC


>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>'Aether'
YOU DOOMED US ALL YOU GLORIOUS BASTARD!!!

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>'Anon Alighieri'
>Fall down, crying in his arms
'Oh god, I missed yoooooooooooou......'

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>'TheScooter'
'Oh good. Thought you'd be here faster.'

    >Day 20XX
    >Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
    >You are the only Human who prepared for it
    >Knock on the door
    >It's another human
    'Name?'
    >'Brainhorn'
    >You slowly shut the door on him.
    >Weeks later, you find thousands of zombies raped

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>'Wuten'
'Your in charge of the food. I like spaghetti.'

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>'Betty Spaghetti'
'Oh, hey... I am sorry about the fight. There is some manga in the back.'

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>'Anone Moose'
'I AM NOT GIVING YOU A FUCKING T-SHIRT!!!'

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>'Pale Narrator.'
'Calm people down with your sexy voice'

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>'Atlas'
'Help Pale with your manly voice'

    >Day 20XX
    >Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
    >You are the only Human who prepared for it
    >Knock on the door
    >It's another human
    'Name?'
    >' Navarone'
    'Let you 600K word story save you.'
    >Kick him in the nuts

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door.
>It's another human.
'Name?'
>'Lulzies'
'Cool, just...don't go hitting on all the ponies.'
>5 hours later
>Lulzies has hit on most of the mares and some of the stallions.
>You wanted to give him a chance...
>...until he hit's on Octavia.
'Hey Lulzies?'
>'Yeah?'
>You stab your arm through is stomach.
'You know why killing you is like KFC?'
>He chokes out a 'No'
>You pull your arm out, tasting the blood on your hands.
'It's finger licking good.'
[spoiler] >Send him to Nurse Redheart to get fixed up. [/spoiler]
[spoiler] You're not a heartless cunt. [/spoiler]
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>' I'm *Heavy wet coughing*'
'Pardon?'
>'Sorry, my name is *serious smokers cough*'
'Oh shit. Hey Phlegm. Have you tried cough syrup?'

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>'Brainhorn...again.'
'Okay, you can stay.'
>He walks in
'STAY AWAY FROM DERPY!!!'
>Brainhorn doesn't listen
'You know what? Knife'
>Brainhorn down.....

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>'Chronicler'
'I thought I locked you in a hole...'
>'Zombies got me out.'
'Fine.'

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>'Wiz-Anon'
'Fucking children....'

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>'Shermanator'
'Which one?'

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>'Kitty Pony'
>You snap his neck.
'THERE! He's dead. I killed him. There is blood everywhere. Get the fuck over it!'

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>'DJ-Anonn'
>Punch him in the face, before giving him a beer.
'You are a great writefag, but only I call me crazy.'

    >Day 20XX
    >Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
    >You are the only Human who prepared for it
    >Knock on the door
    >It's another human
    'Name?'
    >'Gadget'
    >Let him in
    >Follow him around humming "Inspector Gadget" song for hours.

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>Anonymous'
'BAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahheheheheh heh heh heh.....heh. No.'

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>' Sorcerer'
'Shouldn't you be fighting these things?'

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>'Miggy Migoroth'
>look from left to right for any witnesses
'No-one...gooood'
>Give him a hug
'I missed you'

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>'Brainhorn....'
'SERIOUSLY?! Look, i gave you a chance, and you raped Derpy.'
>Feel a hand on your shoulder
>It's TheScooter
>S'I can look after him. I can vouch.'
>You sigh, and step out the way.
'Anything happens, and you're both zombie food.'
>As they walk away, you swear you hear something along the lines of "Double team", "Spitroast" and "Scootaloo"

>Day 20XX
>Zombie Apocalypse has occurred in Equestria
>You are the only Human who prepared for it
>Knock on the door
>It's another human
'Name?'
>'RnR66'
'Tacos?'
>'WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THAT!!!'