"Playing The Field (Revision Edition)"
By DerangedClownHorse (https://pastebin.com/u/DerangedClownHorse)

URL: https://pastebin.com/fsgzFHXr
Created on: Monday 22nd of January 2018 12:54:48 AM CDT
Retrieved on: Saturday 31 of October 2020 07:38:44 PM UTC


>Today is gonna be great! You can just feel it!
>Strands of your sky blue mane block your vision but with a little push they stick together easily.
>Gleefully you hop up out of bed and rush to the bathroom,because once your mom goes in there she doesn't come out until its time for you to go to school.
>Something about spa treatments she says.
>You scramble around looking for your tooth brush and to your surprise its gone.
>So what you did was take some of the tooth paste in your mouth,added some water and swished it around like mouthwash.
>It doesn't get your teeth cleaned like a toothbrush would,but it gets the job done.
>As you trot out of the bathroom you realize something.
>You don't have your cap!
>The cap Anon gave to you when he first met you.
>You even put his name on it.
>In memoriam of that day of course.
>Lyra wanted to keep it for herself,but that wasn't happening.
>Anon gave YOU that hat.
>You frantically search your room for it,and find it under your pile of nonassuming clothing where it usually is.
>Guess it’s time to head out.
>You glance at the clock in the hallway as you trot back into the kitchen,and you start to grin.
>You know what time it is.
>It's time to go see Anon~
——————————————
>You are Anon.
>And why the fuck is there a cake shaped like a horse rump with detailed genetalia on your kitchen table.
>You just walked in and there it was,standing in all of it’s disgusting beauty.
>A rather devilish thought comes to mind and you begin to unzip your pants.
>And then there’s a knock at the door.
>Fuck this better be good.
>You angrily stomp over and fling the door open,then about face, still admiring the glorious fake cake plot.
>"Anooooon~"
>Oh.
>It's just Little League.
>She comes to visit you every day before going to school.
>You've taken to feeding her before she goes to ensue she doesn't go hungry.
>There’s really nobody else that will do it.
>N-not saying that its too much like a chore or anything.


>Just saying its something that needs to be done and nopon-nobody,meets the requirements to fulfil the need.
"Hey there League."
>She happily trots in and stares at the horrifyingly anatomically correct cake lying on the table.
>"Uhh..whats that?"she questions pointing a hoof at it.
"I have no clue, I came into the kitchen and there it was."
>She glares at you, eyebrow raised
>"Well..do you know who sent it?"
>Could be anybod-anypony.
>Fucking horses got you correcting yourself now?
"I dont really know. But hey. Free cake?”
>"Whatever, its not like I haven't seen a mares..thing..before."
>You cock an eyebrow her way and she blushes intensely.
>"Well I've seen my own. A little.."
>So..?
>"I-I haven't been looking back there or anything."
>You look at her with the force of a thousand Costanzas,causing her to avoid your gaze.
>"S-So..uh."
>You can't help but chuckle as you look through your pantry for some grub.
>And you find nothing.
>Although repulsive,the cake still looked as if it were baked by one of the finest artisans Equinehorseland has to offer.
>You reach for a knife and begin cutting a few pieces off the left cheek,examining it,superstitions as to what it could be laced with.
>You stick a finger inside and suck the jelly filling off your finger.
>Anon sense says its good!
>Little League takes a seat and you grab a nearby plate on the counter, throwing the cake on it with a splat.
>"Is this all you have?”
>You nod solemnly and place said plate on front of her.
"Take it or leave it."
>She shrugs and slams her muzzle into the plate, seeming to consume all there is within an instant
>Jesus Christo.
>Bitch can eat.
>A massive burp escapes her lips as she raises her head up from the plate,frosting and jelly coating her face graciously.
>"Done.",she states proudly.
>You shake your head and click your tongue a few times.
>”W-What!?”
“Nothing.”
>You take a seat next to her and reach for a towel nearby.
>”So Anon I wanted to ask a question.”

>You dab the towel on the tip of your tongue and begin to wipe away all the grime from her coat, and she reacts accordingly, trying to thrash about screaming ‘don’ts’ and ‘stops’.
>”I can clean my own face Anon!”
“Doesn’t seem like it.” You say while still wiping away even the crumbs of yesterday.
>Eventually she settles down and succombs to your babying.
“See. Not so bad getting cleaned up now is it?”
>”Not when you do it it isn’t.”
>You smirk and keep wiping away at her messy face.
>She smiles as the last of the crumbs are gone and ropes you into a tight hug.
>”Anon I need to tell you something. I don’t know where to start but I-”
>The clock on the wall coocoos four times and the hands click gently forward and rest near the seven and the twelve.
>”Buck. Well I’ll see you later Anon!”she says rushing out the door, mane flowing freely as she moves.
“Seeya Lily! I’ll be here like always.”
>By the time you’ve said that she’s already gone.
>…She left the door open.
>You sigh and shut the door with a small grin on your face.
>Now all that remains,
>Is the giant cake horse puss on your table.
>You look about and unzip your pants again, only to have another knock at your door disturb you.
“One moment…” you yell loud enough to be heard outside while zipping up your pants.
————————————

>Shoot.
>You just couldn’t not beat around the bush could you?
>It’s ok though!
>It’s been like this everyday, so eventually you’ll get around to actually telling him how you feel.
>But you used to tell him all the time…
>’I love you Anon!’
>Back then those words didn’t mean anything.
>’Course you were a wee filly back then.
>Now they definitely shouldn’t be used so loosely.
>You’re of age to date anypony you want.
>Three measly words you couldn’t say because you were too scared.
>Scared that he didn’t feel the same way.
>Scared he doesn’t want to see you ever again.
>Scared that he won’t ever smile when he sees you…
>You shudder at the thought and try and shake it off.

>A heavy sigh escapes your lips as you trot down the beaten cobblestone path.
>Thoughts of Anon fill your head the whole way to school, and you can feel your legs get all wibbly wobbly.
>You’ve even got butterflies in your stomach.
>Just from thinking about him.
>He probably doesn’t think you’re old enough to have such strong feelings.
>You’re only 5 years older than you were when you first met him anyway.
>Stallions like grown mares.
>Not silly little school fillies.
>The schoolhouse comes into view and your three best friends, the ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders’ they liked to call themselves, greet you individually.
>How they greeted you was unimportant, your mind truly was elsewhere, but you did greet them back.
>Then they started to go on about the recent happenings at school, who likes who, who did what, and you really can’t quite keep up with it all yourself.
>”…and then Twist went to the bathroom the same time Snips went, and I was super sure that they were goin’ to fool around in there. But then Diamond Tiara asked if she could go too and I started to wonder…what if all the fillies and colts that go in tandum fool around in the bathrooms?”
>”I dunno about that one Applebloom. It seems like that’d take a lot of time to do. Plus the bathrooms are seperate. AND the hall monitors look over the bathrooms.”
>Applebloom taps a hoof to her chin in thought and Scootaloo chirps in.
>”Well even if they aren’t fooling around in the bathrooms there’s always the spot near the edge of the playground right?”
>The three nod in unisom and stare at you.
>”Have you even been listenin’ ta’ us Lily?”
>You shake your head and clip clop your way over to your super secret hidey bush, where you store your hat for the day so nobody says anything about it.
>You’d wind up beating a pony to a pulp if they so much as whiffed at it.
>Not cause it was an embarassing hat or anything.
>But because it was disrespectful to your hero.

>It’s ok because so far nobody has really said anything about it.
>It’s sorta become your very own fashion staple of sorts.
>You remain silent and continue on listening to your friends drone on.
>Most of what they’re saying is going in one ear and out the other.
>”What’re ya thinkin about Lily?”
“Nothin.” You finally spit out lowly.
>Scootaloo smirks and shoots Sweetie a look.
>”I know what she’s thinking about girls.”
>You beat the bush a bit and the big part of leaves in the middle is where you stow your hat for the day.
>Then you beat the bush some more to better hide the goods.
>”Oh yeah?”
>”Mmmmhmm.”
>They all share a small laugh and hekcle you some more.
“Knock it off.”
>”Oh my Celestia you even picked up his speaking habits!”
>They all giggle and your face is flush with embarassment.
“S-Shut up! Nothings wrong with the way I talk!”
>The three of them bawl and fall to the ground clenching their stomachs.
“C’mon guys..s-stop it!”
>Scoots wipes a tear from her eye and Applebloom holds her sides as if they were to explode off her body at any given moment.
>Sweetie stops laughing momentarily and regains her composure.
>”Ahem. I’m sorry League but I-”
>That is until she breaks into fits of laughter again.
>You scrunch your face up and walk to the schoolhouse, lowering your head while you walk through the door.
>Most of the fillies have already taken their seats, and they’re all either chit chatting with those next to them or studying the most recent handout from Cheerilee.
>The back of the room is where you sit and know to be your comfort zone.
>Away from allll the others.
>Where you can day dream and doodle to your hearts content.
>You perk up a bit at the thought of day dreaming about Anon again and him pinning you down and-
>Ugh nows not the time for that.
>You plop down in your seat and pull your notebook from underneath your chair.
>”Hey Lily…”
>That voice…

>You look to your left and next to you sits Diamond Tiara.
>And she has a hat on her head.
>YOUR hat.
>”Notice something…different about me? Anything?”
>You scrunch your face up and furrow your brow.
“I’m going to count to three. I want you to give me my hat and shut up. If you don’t then-”
>”If you so much as even try anything I’m destroying your ‘cute’ little hat and telling Cheerilee you tried to stab me over it.”
>You tense up and harden your gaze.
“What do you even want with it?”
>”I just wanted to wear it for a little while, maybe for the rest of today.”
>You visibly tense up once more and growl a bit.
>”Relax relaax. I won’t damage it or anything.”
>You want to lunge at her and rip her throat out but if you can bear with the fact that she’s wearing YOUR hat all day today it’ll be fine.
>You sigh and just try and focus on  nothing in particular as the rest of the fillies fill the seats near and far through the room.
>”Hey League.”
“What do you want Diamond Tiara.” You say without looking her way.
>”I just thought about something is all.”
“I don’t want to hear about it.”
>”I’m coming with you to visit Anon today.”
>Your eyes turn to pinpricks and you swallow hard.
“I don’t think Anon wants to-”
>”I’m more than sure you just drop by every single day after school. So he wouldn’t mind another pony there for a little bit.”
>You groan and slam your head down on your desk.
>”Lighten up. Maybe it’ll become a frequent thing, the three of us.”
>You look over at her and start to tear up a little.
>She’s sunk low since Silver Spoon left her behind.
>But you never would have thought she’d do something like black mail you to just hang out with Anon.
>All the seats in class are full and the bell chimes loudly.
>The previous chatter dies down and everypony focuses their attention on Ms. Cheerilee.
>Diamond Tiara bounces her eyebrows your way and smirks smugly.
>It’s gonna be a long day…


———————————
>”I’m the one who sent that cake. It’s the perfect mold of my rump!”
>Lyra stands in your door way shaking her ass left and right in your general direction.
>”A-And I know you like jelly filled cake so I had it pumped full!”
>You try your best and not react at all to what the fuck you’re hearing and seeing.
>”You ate all of the cake s-so I figured you’d enjoy a nice slice of me!”
>You blink slowly and shut the door.
>”I know you’ll come around one day Anon! I can always tell when they’ll come around!”
“The fuck I will.”
>Weird ass horses sending caked asses and other sexual paraphanalia.
>The other day Pinkie sent you some kind of dick shaped lollipop.
>And Fluttershy…she brought over fleshlight that was colored like her, pink and yellow with little butterflies on the side.
>The note that was with it…
>’Hope you’ll use this and think of me~ FS’
>Makes you wonder if she’s as shy  and timid as her friends say she is.
>She’s hardly ever said a word to you and now she’s sending you sex toys.
>Maybe this is all some hoodoo magic mumbo jumbo.
>After all this is a world full of talking pastel equines.
>Another knock on your door distracts your monologue and you quickly run on over to see whos at the door.
>”Hey man. Got any snacks?”
>You sigh and invite hippie pony inside.
“I’ve got cake.”
>”Sweet.”
“Nice pun”
>”Like, thanks man”
>You shut the door and begin to cut some more ass cake for your guest.
————————————————
>Booooooriinnggg.
>”And this class is a polynomial, solved quite easily by-”
>You continue to scribble Anon’s name throughout your notebook as Cheerilee drones on about something that equates to something else.
>Really you don’t wanna learn about this stuff.
>You just wanna go home and nap.
>Well a nap with Anon would be a lot better.
>At the thought you giggle a bit and sigh contentedly.
>Diamond Tiara shoots you a look.
>”What’s so amusing?”
“N-Nothing…”

>”Now class. To those who filled out and returned the forms I handed out the other day, we will begin sex education today. And to those who did not return the forms, I assume your parents didn’t want you to learn about this kind of thing here in school and would have preffered to teach you themselves.”
>Your parents filled that form out without even asking what it was really.
>They didn’t care about what was on it.
>A good bit of the class leaves the room and Big Mac walks in slowly.
>”I’m more than sure you’re all aware who Big Macintosh is, he’ll be our ‘test dummy’ for today!”
>He nods and proceeds to take a seat.
>”We’ll start this off very slowly to ensure you all retain all the erm…’knowledge’ Big Mac has for us!”
>”Eeeyup.”
>He takes a seat and spreads his legs, revealing his…
>”Now this class, is a horse cock!”
>She graciously points at his thing and he doesn’t budge even a bit.
>Most of the fillies still left in the class seem to stare with curiosity and intent in their eyes.
>You don’t even really wanna see his dick anyway.
>The air itself seems to be permeated with the smells of various secreations of the equine kind.
>”I can see most of the classes attention is directed towards our guest! Now I’ll show off the anatomy of a stallion in great detail.”
>Cheerilee goes on and you take the time to see just exactly who else is in the room.
>At the very most there’s only 6 or so others.
>And of course.
>Diamond Tiara is one of them.
>”And these are the testes, they produce sperm, as a result of stimulation to the penis through any act, such as oral sex.”
>She places her mouth over the head and licks in small circular motions, and almost instantly it springs to life, growing a few times its normal size.
>You swear you can hear a few gasps around you, even from Diamond Tiara.
>”I see I have my class’ attention!”
>Not yours.
>You don’t wanna see Big Mac’s Little Mac.

>But all this information could come in handy when you and Anon-
>”Now class, there IS such a thing as improper fellatio.”
>Within moments she lowers her head gives mac’s rod a long lick from scrotum to tip.
>”It’s ok to tease your partner but remember they’re just as horny as you are!”
>For the remainder of class you zone out and the bell rings and all the fillies inside head out for lunch.
>You wait back a bit and hold off on all the others leaving to make way out yourself, that is before Cheerilee stops you right before you’ve made it to the door.
>”I noticed you were paying attention to the lesson. And that’s quite unlike you Little League.”
“I uh-”
>”Got a special somepony you want to wow with your sexual prowess?”
>With a gulp and a head shake you retort quickly,
“W-What does it mean to you!?” 
>She smirks knowingly and heads back towards her desk.
>”If you need more instruction, I could always just give you this handbook that they usually would give out to students in sex ed-”
“I-I don’t need any stupid handbook to p-prove to Ano-”
>You instantly clasp your hooves over your lips.
>Cheerilee’s smirk transforms into a full blown toothy grin and you feel that oh so familiar heat spring forth from your cheeks.
>”Ahah…just as I figured. See this handbook isn’t just a normal run of the mill give out. It’s got some diagrams I think would help you in particular. All the information you would need to know about Anon’s member is in said hand out. Buuut if you insist you don’t need it then I’ll just keep it for myself~”
>The embarassment is killing you but you’re absolutely dying to know what’s inside that book she’s talking about.
>”You’re free to leave if you don’t want it I can always-”
“I-I’ll uh…give it a quick look…”
>She quickly flings open her desk drawer and carries a neat little binder like book over to you.

“Is it ok if I-”
>”By all means take it home if you need it Little League. After all, it’s my duty as your sex ed teacher to ensure you make the best of your first real sexual experience.”
>A part of you wants to scream in joy due to having the keys to Anon’s heart laid out in front of you, and another part of you just wants to read and study all the ‘material’ contained within this book.
>You smile and carry the book in your mouth, and on the way out you attempt to thank Cheerilee for the help.
>Diamond Tiara is flaunting your hat around the playground, getting a few ‘ooh’s and ‘ah’s because everypony knows that hat is yours.
>”Are you and Little League friends now?” one of those around her asks.
>She seems to ponder the thought actually and responds with a devious grin.
>”I guess you could say that.”
>There’s a little bit of chitter chatter in the surrounding group and one of them seems to spot you.
>”Hey look it’s Little League!”
>You bashfully wave and they start to cheer.
>Is this what it’s like being…popular?
>You shrug it off and trot on over to the corner the crusaders have taken to enjoy recess in.
>”Well lookie who it is. The most popular pony on the ‘playground’.
>They all share another laugh at your expense.
>You roll your eyes with the binder like book still held in your maw.
>”Whatcha got ther Lily?”
“Nuphin” you respond muffled by it’s thick bindings.
>There most be a lot of ground to cover in this thing.
>You’re glad the cover doesn’t really tell what’s on the inside of this thing.
>You’d be really embarassed if anypony found out what lies inside…
>Well, you assume it’s just all about Anon and how his body works.
>Of course it could happen to mention all of his…sensitive areas.

>A little bit of you starts to melt inside when you think about making Anon yours.
>…Maybe a little too much.
>Guh now you’re all flustered.
>”LILY!”
“Wha-”
>”What in the hay has gotten into you lately?” Sweetie yells into your ear.
>Scoots snickers a little bit.
>”More like what hasn’t gotten into her.”
>”C’mon Scootaloo yer not bein very nice to Lil.”
>”Well she’s been out of it all day today. Maybe this’ll make her stop being so out of it.”
>”Haven’t ya learned anythin’ from bein’ bullied Scootaloo?”
>”Apparently she hasn’t.”
>”Shut up Sweetiebelle.”
>”Don’t tell me what to do. Just because you’re in the wrong here doesn’t give you the right to be rude.”
>”Why I oughta-”
>You sit the book down on the ground making sure nothing can damage it, such as a stray hoof stomp or an impromptu rain cloud downpour.
“I’ll be fine girls. Just a little stressed…”
>”More like pent up.”
>Applebloom frowns at Scoots and approaches you, placing a hoof on your back.
>”It’s alright Lily. I get what yer sayin.”
>”I personally think it’s all cause you’re thinking of Anon too much.”
>Sweetiebelle shut your whore mouth.
>”Whatever it is, she needs to snap out of it. We’ve got things to discuss.”
>Both Sweetie and Applebloom look confused as they stare at Scootaloo, waiting for whatever she’s about to say.
>”The thing I wanted to bring up is…”
“That you’re a massive turbo dyke and eat out Rainbow Dash on the daily?”
>She wants to offer something as a rebuttal, but loses track of what she was going to say.
>”Why can’t we just have a nice recess?”
“This is nice. She wanted me to act how I normally do. This is how I normally act.”
>”W-Well atleast I don’t try and suck Anon’s dick every day!”
“Atleast I’m not subjecting myself to the krustiest kunt in all Equestria.”
>”SHUTUP IT’S NOT EVEN THAT CRUSTY.”
>You Sweetie and Bloom share a laugh at her expense as she desperately tries to hit you with a comeback, but it’s just not happening.

>The rest of your recess is spent with your friends poking fun at one another and once more discuissing the latest gossip.
>And of course the gossip about you had increased ten-fold since Diamond Tiara was your ‘new found friend.’
>The bell rings and class is back in session, but time flies because of how little you seem to care about it.
>”-And with that said, it’s time for our school day to come to an end. To all those in Sex-Ed, please give our guest for today a round of applause.”
>There’s a few clops around the room, and one muffled ‘woo’.
>”Eeeyup.”
>And with that he moseys his way on out the door.
>”Hey League.”
“What Diamond Tiara.”
>”Is Anon’s house big?”
“I guess?”
>”I hope it is. I’d love to make use of all that space.” 
>She grins at you evily once again and the school bell rings again.
>You sigh heavily and grab the book cheerilee gave you and begin to trot out the door, a rare Diamond Tiara in tow.
>”Don’t move so quickly. I’ll hurt my hooves.”
“If we don’t move quickly we might not make it there fast enough before your curfew.” You say smugly.
>She scrunches up her nose and trots alongside you in silence.
>The Crusaders don’t seem to want to be around you while Diamond Tiara is following you like a lost puppy.
>Understandably so.
>She’s rude, crass, and boastful; not to mention all the stupid innuendo she’s thrown at you about Anon today.
>Oh well.
>Atleast you think she won’t outlive ‘The Walk’.
__________________________

>Hippie pony managed to destroy the remainder of what was left of that ass cake.
>You’re not sad to see it all go, but damn, you had to take a little trip to the grocery store afterwards.
>If there was any other food in the house you think she would’ve managed to eat all of that too.
>For now you picked up some pasta, tomatoes, and a little basil.
>Gonna make a little spaghet.

>No meatballs though, meat is a rare black market commodity around these parts.
>That and you couldn’t find the Gryphon that usually sells the ‘impersonation meat’ at the market today.
>Doesn’t really matter much anyway.
>Spaghetti with no meatballs is as fine a dish as any.
>Now to make the sauce you-
>A few knocks at the door interrupt your train of thought and you spring up to answer the door.
>The moment you open it, a little pink filly falls on to your floor.
>”Gaaah…wwwwww…”
>”Hey Anon!”ou say pointing down
“Hey League. Who’s this?” you say pointing down at the sweaty pink blob
>”Oh that’s just Diamond Tiara. I think she had a little trouble getting here with me. We took The Walk.”
>Your eyes open wide with horror as you realize what League has done.
“YOU TOOK HER FOR THE WALK?!”
>She smiles deviously.
>”This young filly here, used to be the school bully. All I did was get here how I do every single day after school Anon.”
“HAVE YOU GONE MAD!? THAT FUCKING ‘WALK’ OF YOURS IS LIKE TEN MILES.”
>”Look, I warned her it would be a long arduous path and yadda yadda yadda, but she insisted-”
>”Wuh…water…”
>”Shuddup. You aren’t dying of thirst yet.”
>Quickly you find  a cup and run the cool water, filling the cup to the brim.
“Shame on you Lily.”
>You scoop the little pink one up and help her drink, slowly, but surely.
>”B-But she used to be so mean…and she was-”
“That’s no reason for you to mistreat anypony League, you know how it feels to be mistreated.”
>”Yeah but…oh nevermind…”
>Diamond Tiara has gone from sips to long gulps, slurping down whatever she can manage in her little mouth.
>Within moments she’s done and gasping for air.
“All better?”
>”Y-Yeah…you could say that.”
>Her face is beet red with embarassment.
“I’ll put you down now, seems like you’re embarassed about being picked up like thi-”
>”No no, it’s fine. I’m still a little wobbly anyway…”
>League is over on the other side of the room, staring daggers at Diamond Tiara.

>”C-Can we sit on the couch?”
“Sure?”
>You carry DT over to your couch and plop down, making sure not to offset her too much.
“Comfy?”
>Words are fleeting for the little filly and she just seems to want to snuggle into you.
“Just relax ok? When you feel like you can move about on your own I’ll put you down.”
>She simply nods and you give a little smile.
“Ow..”
>Knawing at your leg is, who else, Little League.
“Lily. Stop.”
>She bites down a bit harder and your use your other foot to try and leverage her off.
“Cut it out.”
>She clamps down harder.
“Fuuuuuuu…”
>You go from trying to leverage her off to kicking her, just hard enough for her to get the point.
>With a few hits she eventually does let go, and she grimaces, rubbing her head.
>”You didn’t have to kick me so hard”
“Well you didn’t have to bite me.”
>She simply groans and whines a little before taking a seat next to you.
>”I think she’s jealous that you’re holding me.”
>”I AM NOT YOU WHORSE.”
“Calm down League. Christ, what’s gotten into you?”
>”N-Nothing it’s just…”
>She goes silent again and pushes her hair up out of her eyes.
>It hits you.
>She isn’t wearing her own hat.
>Diamond Tiara is.
>Instantly you get what was going on and do feel a little bad, but continue on with how things are going already, after all, nobod-nopony, should be subjected to ‘The Walk’.
>You’re torn on being nice, and giving just deserts.
>A lightbulb dings on in your head and you grin evily.
“Hey Diamond Tiara…I must ask, how’d you get League to take off her hat? I can’t even get her to keep it off.”
>”W-Well I-”
“It’s just odd to me how she would just let you wear it. I can barely touch the thing myself.”
>”I-I just asked nicely?”
>She smiles nervously.
“It just doesn’t add up to me is all.”

>”W-We’re friends and friends share things. I just thought it’d be nice to try it on.”
“Hmm.”
>You loosen your grip on her and sit her down on the floor.
“You wouldn’t lie to me would you little filly?” you ask making sure to stare into her sky blue eyes.
>”I-I…”
>She looks away and pouts a bit.
>”I did lie.”
“Oh?”
>”I lied because I just wanted to see ‘the’ Anon. I thought maybe that if I had League’s hat you’d like me as much as you like her…”
>You open your mouth to protest and she gets up, ears flattened.
>”If you want I’ll just go. I know what I’m doing isn’t at all a nice thing to do. I don’t know what it is but…something about you just makes me feel so…blah. Whatever. I just can’t lie to you Anon. I came here with the intentions of getting closer to you than Lily is, but you can’t just make relationships happen.”
>League sits next to you, mouth agape and you’re just as shocked as she is.
>”I’ll see myself out.” She says with a curt little smile.
>She takes League’s hat off and sets it on the floor before leaving.
>Five minutes or so pass and you and League remain seated, almost as if frozen in time with the same reaction.
>Eventually the both of you turn to face one another in unisom.
>”WHAT THE BUCK DID YOU DO TO HER ANON?!”
“I DID NOTHING.”
>”YOU HAD TO HAVE DONE SOMETHING!?”
“I DIDN’T! HONEST!”
>”DID YOU TOUCH HER A CERTAIN WAY? LOOK AT HER A CERTAIN WAY?”
>You look down in thought and shake your head.
>There’s only silence for a good ten minutes and you eventually get up to make dinner.
>”I’m still at a loss for words.”
“So am I.”
>”It’s like it was magic or something.”
>You frown and furrow your brow.
“Knock it off.”
>”It was like magic…you must be magic now Anon!”
“Shut up. That’s not how it works.”
>”It is! I’ve been here in Equestria longer than you have!”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m not magical in any way shape or form.”

>”Well what do you call what you did to Diamond Tiara? What was that then?”
“A coincidence? I dunno.”
>You grab a pot and fill it up with water, and turn on the stove.
>”Coincidental? No. I don’t know about that.”
>You sigh and begin slice up the tomatoes.
“I didn’t do anything special League. Maybe she came to some weird realization on her own?”
>”That’s not at all like Diamond Tiara. Atleast not anymore.”
>You shrug it off and continue cutting.
“She couldn’t have been as bad as you used to say, she did sort of admit to her own wrong.”
>”I guess.”
>League doesn’t utter a single word while you finish up mincing.
>You begin to lose yourself in the boiling pot of water and small tidbits of the past begin to bubble up in it.
—————————————————————————————
>This must be the place.
>It’s the ‘only’ place here that doesn’t look too run down.
>Well that and there are a few balloons out front.
>You sigh and knock on the door as softly as possible as it seems any harder would knock it off it’s hinges.
>You hear some shuffling about behind the door and a metallic click.
>The door opens up slowly, and behind it stands a curious looking young filly.
>Her mane is the first thing that stands out to you, its almost the same color as the sky, while her coat  reminds you of tangerines.
>She sqwints and tries to shield her eyes from the outside sun, it’s fair darker inside than it is outside, and her little freckles move in unisom with every small facial movement.
>Without a word she gasps and clings tight to your left leg.
>”Y-You…You actually came!”
>She nuzzles your leg and squeezes it as tight as she possibly can.
“Wouldn’t want to let down my greatest fan eh?”
>She smiles up at you and tugs on your pant leg.
>”CmoCmoCmo!” sh says excitedly, mouth full of cloth.
>Her house certainly is uh.
>Homey.
>The paint on the walls is dingy, and peeling in some places, and cracking off in others.
>There’s very few lights, and they’re all dim.

>The furniture inside is pretty worn out as well.
>The couch has obvious patches stitched onto it, the floor is grimey, andly there are beer cans scattered about.
>There’s a little table surrounded by three ponies, one filly, and two mares.
“This is-”
>”It’s a little run down cause my daddy is out of work right now. Sorry.”
>You look about once more, with a less than confident smile plastered on your face.
>At the table you notice Lyra quickly, and a mare that looks an awful lot like the filly tugging you towards the small group.
>”Hi Anon!” Lyra says waving you over and signaling for you to come take a seat next to her.
>”No Lyra. Anon is sitting next to me. It’s MY birthday today after all.” She says making you crouch down by her.
>”C’mon League. I’m more than sure he’d like to get to know all of us.” Says the violet coated filly.
>”Let’s just let League enjoy her time with Anon, Noi.”
>The little filly pouts and League smiles wide, clamping onto your midsection.
>”Just you all wait. Me and Anon are gonna fall in love, get married, an have lots and lots of foals, and live in a big house together, and be super happy together!” she squeals practically trying to squeeze the life out of you.
>This causes everypony to giggle a bit, even League.
>”Come on League, you can’t forget we were gonna play some party games. Like pin the tail on the pony!”
>”W-Well Anon is here so we can play spin the bottle…”suggests Lyra.
>”I am not letting my daughter be kissed by anypony, or anything.”
>Eventually there’s a loud thump and some running heading in your direction, and from around the corner pops out a balding stallion.
>”Can you all just shut the actual buck up? I’m trying to sleep back there.”
>”D-Dear. It’s our dear Lily’s birthday. Can’t you lighten up just a bit-”
>”You act like I wanted to have that little shit anyway.”
>Little League’s grip loosens on you a bit and the stallion looks your way.

>”And you’re letting monkies into my goddamn house now? Just you wait til-”
“I’m not a monkey.” You say without turning your head.
>”Ya sure you ain’t? Sure does look like ya are to me.”
>You furrow your brow and stand up, facing the stallion.
“Listen. I’m not a monkey. It’s your daughter’s birthday. You may want to show a little care.”
>”Oh? You’re here to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do Mr. Monkey?”
>You sigh and crouch down to be eye level with him.
“I don’t think you’d like if somepony ruined your birthday very much.”
>”Hahaha. Yeah. You’re right about that. I’d-”
“Then why ruin your daughter’s?”
>”Don’t bucking cut me off while I’m talking monkey, I-”
>You ball up your fist and fight the urge to jam it into his fucking face.
“You need to shut the actual fuck up. Seriously. I came here to make your daughter happy, and I’ll be damned if you ruin her being happy on her birthday.”
>”Oh yeah? Not like you have any say in how she’s supposed to be treated. She’s MY daughter after all. You probably just want to eat her or something.”
>With that you lose it.
>Within moments you’ve got the stallion hoisted up by the nape.
>”Hey wha-PUT ME DOWN YOU DAMN DIRTY AP-”
>You literally shove your fist into his mouth.
>He tries to scream profanities and other things between trying to bite down hard enough to hurt your hand, but you can’t feel anything.
>”A-Anon is it? P-Please just put my husband down. I know he’s not the most level headed individual around b-but it’d be best if he not get hurt.”
>With a sigh you set him down and yank your fist out of his mouth.
>He jerks away quickly, going back around the corner.
>”Stupid bucking monkey.”
>The room is silent for a while after that.
>”S-So can we all still play spin the bottle?”
———————————————————
>The spaghetti is done, sauce is done, only thing left is seasoning.
>”Hey Anon?”
“Yeah?” you respond, wetting your lips.
>”I just wanted to say something.”
“What is it?”
>”I’m…”
>She rubs the back of her head with her hoof, still seated on the couch.
“It’s ok League.”
>She looks stunned.
“Don’t apologize. It’s really not at all your fault.”
>”I was gonna say I’m hungry…”
>You both have a laugh and you start serving the food.
>”You shouldn’t be touching the food with your hands Anon.”
“And you shouldn’t be complaining with how little you eat most of the time.”
>She trots over to the kitchen, taking a seat on one the stools lined up near the island.
“You know I’ve known you for seven years now?”
>She nods solemly.
>”I won’t forget the day you just so happened to stop by my house.”
“It was your birthday stupid.”
>”I was so happy. You just don’t understand.”
>You lay the sauce on thick, just how your mum did, and slide a plate on over to League.
“I guess I’ll never really get it.”
>She shakes her head before slamming her face into the plate, consuming all, not stopping until she hits the very ceramic coating that was once before.
>And a not a moment after she raises her head she lets loose a loud burp, smling proudly.
>”Done.”
>Some things won’t ever change.
“You got messy. Again.”
>”It’s not like I’m gonna stay clean forever.”
“You could atleast try and not get dirty.”
>”Pfft what’s the point when you’re just gonna get all dirty again.”
“To stay clean dummy.”
>She rolls her eyes at you and you start to chow down yourself.
“Go wash your face. You got tomato sauce everywhere.”
>She sticks her tongue out at you and trots on over to the bathroom.
————————————
>It’s not really like you need to wash your face.
>Anon would just prefer it if you did.
>If the chance for kisses was at all prevalent you did need to keep a clean muzzle.
>Or if uh, the time came, you didn’t want to get Anon’s dick covered in red chunks.
>Unless that’s what he’s into…
>I-If Anon wanted to rut you so hard your womb exploded out your belly button you wouldn’t mind.
>…And there’s another possible psychiatrist visit.

>Usually you’re not this stir crazy, but something’s been up.
>Your heart’s beating to some nonexistant beat.
>And when Anon talks it’s like you can feel your insides thrum to the rhythm of his moving vocal chords.
>And when he touches you…Oh Celestia, even a little bump here and there is just like a trigger for the water works.
>And you’re not talking about crying either.
>You make it to the bathroom and stare at yourself in the mirror.
>Your mane is messy.
>Your coat is pretty unkempt at times too…
>But Anon likes you as you are.
>Even with pasta sauce everywhere.
>You giggle a bit and run the water.
>Maybe becoming more ‘mature’ isn’t neccesary.
>Maybe you don’t have to study anything out of a dumb book to woo Anon.
>Maybe-
>THE BOOK.
>YOU LEFT THE BOOK ON THE END TABLE BY THE COUCH.
>ANON LOVES TO READ AFTER A GOOD MEAL.
>You begin to hyperventilate and panic internally.
“UGHHHH WHAT AM I GONNA DOOO.”
>”Leauge?” Anon yells from the front.
“I-I’m Okay! I promise! Just…I’ll be out in a sec.”
>”Just yell if you need anything.”
>Anything..?
>Well you do need a leak that needs plug-
>NO.
>THE BOOK, YOU FOOL.
>You attempt to wash your face as quickly as possible and fail miserably, only smearing the red sauce everywhere.
>BUCK BUCK BUCK BUCK BUCK
>You ignore the fact that its everywhere now and rush back to the front.
>And there sitting on the couch reading the anatomy guide, is Anon.
>You feel the tears start to well up inside you, and heat rushing to your cheeks.
>He looks away from the book and sees you, a hot mess.
>”League. I uh.”
>He gulps.
>”Pretty interesting book you got here.”
“I-I..”
>”You still haven’t cleaned your face.”
>You cant talk, the words won’t even begin to form.
>You pick up your hat and lower it, so it rests over your face.
>You sob softly behind your hat.
>Why can’t you just be normal.
>Anon probably hates you now.

“I-I think I’ll go home now.”
>”I don’t-”
“N-No no. It’s ok. I’ll leave.” You say hat still covering your eyes.
>You about face and start to walk towards the door.
>You’re able to make it due to muscle memory.
>”League, you don’t have to-”
“I’m sorry.”
>”What for? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
>You feel a little more of yourself dying inside.
“I brought that weird book here filled with..”
>He remains quiet and you continue to walk towards the door.
“I’ll see you tomorrow or something.”
>You reach for the door knob and hear it click and turn without you touching it.
—————————
>Your door opens.
>League pauses, almost as if she could feel the very presence of who was at the door.
>”Alright League, it’s way past your curfew. You were supposed to be home hours ago.”
>She tenses up and addresses her father.
>”I just lost track of time dad.”
>”Lost track of time my ass, you’ve been here by this…”
>”Don’t you dare say it.” She says raising her head.
>”Pft now you’re getting your feelings hurt over your little coltfriend? He’s not even a pony Little League.”
>She keeps quiet and looks away.
>”He doesn’t love you. I mean look at you, you’re crying and you’ve got red shit smeared everywhere all over ya.”
“League-”
>”I’m coming dad. Just let me get my stuff.”
>”Make it quick. You already know how I feel about being around that thing.”
>At the hearing of her father addressing you as a thing she pauses, but eventually goes about gathering up her things, the book you were reading included.
>”I’m sorry about all the stuff that happened today Anon.”
“It’s ok League. I promise.”
>”Pinkie promise?”
“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
>She smiles weakly at you going through the motions and heads out the door.
>”Bye Anon.”
>She walks away slowly, and you can’t help but feel a bit saddened by the fact that-
>WHY IS HER TAIL SO SHORT FUCKING HELL.
>Don’t look.Don’t look.DON’T LOOK.

>Fuck that’s kind of hot.
>WHY’S THAT KIND OF HOT.
>You aren’t a pony fucker.
>…Are you?
>The door shuts and you’re left with a strange mental image.
>Does this mean you want to bang a pony?
>Course it doesn’t.
>Just because those puffy folds looked inviting doesn’t mean you want to fuck League.
>…Right?
>RIGHT?!
>Whatever.
>You sigh and stand up, noticing your’e at full mast.
“Goddammit Little League.”
>With that you gather up the dishes, wipe down the counter and hop in the shower.
>All the while you try and not think about what happened at all today.
>It seems the more you think about it all, the more League plagues your thoughts.
>As if she was at the center of it all, the driving force behind all the wacky and weird things that happen.
>Like she was your rock.
>Or more like your limestone.
>…enough rock metaphors.
>You turn the knobs for the shower to the right and the water stops, leaving your bathroom full of steam.
>After you make sure you’re dry you head to bed.
>Sleeping naked is the best.
>You doze off, thoughts still centered on Lily.
>Your dreams aren’t any better, it’s like every single one of them involved..taking her in a new way.
>They don’t seem to stop either.
>Almost like a constant quene of nonstop action.
>The current scene seems to vanish with a poof, and you’re lying in a meadow, gazing up at the moon.
>”Anonymous.”
>That voice is so…familiar.
>”It’s been quite some time since we had an audience with thee.”
“Luna.”
>”Of course ‘tis I, who else would disturb your dreams?”
>She has a point.
>”I came to speak with you regarding all of these…”
“Nightmares?”
>”They’re not nightmares Anonymous.”
“They’re not…?”
>”No. They’re wet dreams.”
“S-SO I-”
>”Calm down. They are not your wet dreams.”
>Fucking hell what a relief.
“Then who’s wet dreams are these?”
>She adorns a shit eating grin.
>”I’ll give you twenty tries.”
“…Little League’s?”

>Sirens blare next to your ears and are gone within the instant they appeared.
>”You got it.”
“Why the sirens?”
>”To make it extra obvious.”
“Wellll unlike you, I catch on quick.”
>”Hmph. I merely imposed Little League’s dreams onto yours.”
“But why?”
>”It seems like you were holding back some kind of emotion directly linked with…sexual frustration.”
“I-I was not.”
>”But you were, I distinctly remember your dream. It was about-”
“I REMEMBER MY DREAM NOW I DON’T NEED TO BE REMINDED OF WHAT I DID OK.”
>”T’was only a dream Anonymous! No need for such regret.”
>You shake your head vigorously.
“There is a need for regret. I fucked League in my dreams. FOR HOURS.”
>”And she ‘fucked’ you in her dreams for hours. I fail to see the problem.”
>You raise a finger in protest and begin to speak, only to be cut off by Luna.
>”Don’t you want to know why I have shown you League’s dreams?”
“Maybe it’s because you’re a pervert.”
>”I-I am not a pervert.”
“Then why spy in on my dreams? Why spy in on her dreams? WHY SPY ON ANYPONIES DREAMS?!”
>”T-That i-is my business!”
“I guess me pounding a filly into oblivion is your business too?”
>”I-I…”
>You smirk, knowing you’ve won.
>”WELL EVEN IF I AM SOME KIND OF PERVERT, THE POINT IS THIS, THERE IS MORE TO THE DREAMS THAN I ALLOWED YOU TO SEE YOU FOOL!”
“If you say so. I don’t see much more than-”
>”I will show you…”
>She leans in close to you and taps her horn to your forehead.
>The world around you melts into a deep hazy mess of swirling colors.
>And it reappears, but you no longer lay in a field.
>You’re lying in an empty bathtub, and the light fixture hanging above is bare and dim.
>Almost instantly you know where you are.
“But why here of all places…”
>”It’s where she has the most memories.”
“But they’re all bad memories.”
>”They stand out the most.”
“So what’s her dream about now?”
>”You shall see.”

>League barges into the bathroom, tugging you alongside by the pants leg.
>Well, dream you.
>”Hold on, just lemme catch up-”
>League’s tugging you along and muffling something.
>”Don’t talk with your mouth full.”
>She spits out the dark fabric and shuts the door.
>”I said we can have some alone time in here stupid.”
>”Alone time for what?”
>”Well I have something in mind…”
>Dream you looks taken back and unlocks the door.
>”I’ll just go get the uh…stuff.”
>League giggles as he leaves the room.
>”Ahh. I didn’t know you could have peeping ponies in your dreams.”
>You remain silent.
“You can see us..?”
>”Pfft. Clear as day.”
>”It is her dream after all Anonymous.”
“Well I uh…”
>She says nothing and charges full speed ahead and collides with your chest, making you fall over into the tub, snuggling into your chest.
>”How cute.”
“What was the point of bringing me here Luna?”
>”To show you what Little League really dreams of most nights. And that they’re not just lust filled demented thoughts.”
>League continues to snuggle you and the scenery starts to melt away like last time, and what remains is the bathroom door.
>League gets off of you and trots over to it.
>”C’mon….let’s just get it over with.”
>She opens it slowly, streams of light flowing through.
>You follow behind her through the entryway, stepping into a whole new world almost.
>You’re sitting next to Lily in a white foldout chair outside.
>There’s a lot of flower petals in the air.
>Many ponies surround you, all staring ahead.
>You even spot Raindrops.
“League…what is this…?”
>She smiles dreamily.
>”A wedding.”
>You stare at her confused and the bride appears.
>It’s…
>Little League?
>”Heehee..”
“So this is your wedding huh?”
>”Welllll you could say it’s mine. But it’s better to say it’s ours.”
>Ours?
>The groom walks up the aisles of the mass of chairs set into two sections.
“League..”
>”Mhm?”

“Who are you marrying here?”
>”You stupid.”
>And as if on que dream League and dream Anon meet in front of the crowd.
>”Hehehehehe. Aren’t I beautiful?”
“I…”
>”What? I told you that I wanted to get married.”
“You’re still in school League.”
>”Pfft. Doesn’t apply to my dreams where we can have alllllll the foals I want.”
>She realizes what she said and her cheeks glow red.
>You stay quiet because you aren’t too sure what to say.
>”O-Of course if you’d rather not have that many foals there’s always two other holes readily available..”
>She’s awfully bold in her dreams isn’t she?
>”Uh. This is just a dream anyway so it’s not like you’ll remember anything I’ve said or done.”
“But I-”
>”I know I know you and Luna are exploring the dreamscape, yadda yadda, but even if you dont forget, I will.”
“That’s smart I think?”
>She giggles again and the scene before you shape shifts into her old bedroom, bunk bed included and all.
>”So Nonny. I’ve been thinking about some stuff.”
“Like what?”
>”All the time you’ve wasted. All the times I’ve tried to open up to you and something always gets in the way.”
>Her eyes light up for a moment.
>”But I can explain to you now how I feel. There’s nobody here but you and me.”
“And Luna.”
>”Well she wants us to talk. And I think I can say what’s on my mind.”
“Well I’m listening League, we’ve got lots of time.”
>”Anon…I-”
—————
>Man what a weird dream.
>Anon was in it and you told him something you’d regret saying in reality.
>But that’s fine!
>It’s fine.
>You decided to skip out on a few hours of sleep to head to Anon’s early.
>He’s got a nice surprise waiting for him today~
—————
>What’s that smell?
>Is that..
>NO IT CAN’T BE.
>BACON.
>Your eyes fly open and you fall out of bed rushing towards the smell of sizzling meat.
>NOT FAKE MEAT, YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THAT FAUX MEAL WORM PRESS SHIT AND REAL SLABS OF MEAT.

>You rush into the kitchen with ferocity and munching on meat on your mind.
>Some things get knocked about but it’s worth it.
>The aroma of meat.
>One you have long since lusted for once again.
>At your stove is Little League, and she’s made a breakfast for champions.
>Laid out on the island on their own respective plates are pancakes, eggs, strudel, and fritters, but most importantly, BACON.
>League takes a step back from her work.
>”Hey Anon I made-”
>She stops talking mid sentence.
“You…got actual bacon.”
>”Y-Yeah. For you. Cause I knew that you missed it…”
“How the actual fuck did you get ACTUAL BACON?” you practically scream, experimentally taking a piece in your mouth.
>”Y-You know I know a guy…”
>The bacon crunches in your mouth and retains some of it’s chewy nature at the same time.
>It’s a bit under cooked in some areas, over cooked in others, but by all fucks it’s BACON.
>”A-Anon…when are you gonna put some clothes on?”
>Whut
>”I-I’m not complaining or anything oh trust me but uhm..I-I made you breakfast so could we just eat first?”
>Wait.
>WAIT YOU DON’T HAVE PANTS ON.
>ABORT MISSION.

>”U-Unless you maybe wanna…”
“I’ll go grab something to cover-”
>”I’d prefer if you didn’t.”
>You manhood throbs in the open air.
>”I can always help you with…that.” She says pointing her hoof down at it.
>You cover your loins, or attempt to with your hands and League giggles, a blush steadily creeping onto her face.
>”Heehee. You look a little flustered yourself Anon.”
“I-I am not.”
>”Oh yeah?”
>She closes the gap bewtween the two of you and makes sure to invade as much of your personal space as possible without actually touching you.
>”You sure you aren’t a little pent up Anon..? Like a caged tiger..waiting to strike?”
“That’s a horrible analogy.”
>She circles you, carefully rubbing her mane against your skin but only ever so slightly.
>You’re finding it hard not to get even more aroused by each second that passes.
“L-League please..”
>”Hehehe…please what?”
“Stop teasing me. I’ll go put on some clothes.”
>She smiles devilishly before rearing you, her short tail not obstructing your view what so ever.
>”I’ll stop teasing you then..and we can get right to having some real fun~”
“What about breakfast?”
>”It can wait a little bit can’t it~?” she says wiggling her rump your way.
>As much as you hate to admit it, she is quite shapely.
>And it wouldn’t be hard at all to just slide it right into home base…
>But a wave of clarity comes over you.
“No it can’t. It’s the most important meal of the day.”
>She pouts while looking over her shoulder and gives you puppy dog eyes.
“Nuh uh. No. We aren’t doing this League.”
>She spins and looks down at the floor, dejected.
>”O-Okay Anon.” 
>She sniffles and returns to the food.
>”W-Well go put on some clothes and we can eat together.”
>You dash to your room and put on the last pair of pajamas you wore.
>When you make it back into the kitchen League has already made you a heaping helping of a little bit of everything.

>It’s all been arranged in a heart shape, the bacon being the outside ‘lines’ and the eggs filling the inside.
>The strudel has it’s own place in the upper corner of the square plate.
>The pancakes make the heart look ‘shiny’ as they’re laid atop some of the eggs in a fashion that makes it look like it’s shaded.
>”S-Sorry about uh..”
>You sit down and start to tear into the pancakes on top.
>They’re wonderfully moist and taste of vanilla.
>Probably just like Lea-
>BAD PENIS, NOW IS NOT THE TIME.
>We ache for release faggot.
>”I made this all with love Anon.”
>You smile and shovel another forkfull into your mouth.
“I don’t think that’s an ingredient.”
>”Well it’s MY secret ingredient.”
“Is it tangible?”
>”M-Maybe it is.”
“A better question then. Is it edible?”
>”Well duh. It’s in all this stuff I cooked for you.”
“Well it’s great whatever it is.”
>She blushes and idly kicks the floor.
>”Thanks..”
“Where’d you learn to cook like this though?”
>”Well when you’re more or less alone for a few days in a house you experiment..and not always is what you make ‘good’ so you learn the more you go I suppose.”
>You nod your head and continue to chow down.
>”I had a dream last night Anon. And you were in it. We were dancing together and celebrating.
>Your mind goes back to the dreams Luna showed you last night and you know exactly what she’s talking about.
“Celebrating what?”
>”I’m not too sure. But I had a really nice dress on.”
>You smirk and put your fork down.
“So it was a wedding?”
>”I think so.”
“Who was getting married?”
>”I was I think. It’s a little fuzzy still because it was just a dream.”
“Well if you happen to remember, tell me about it ok?”
>She nods and takes a seat next to you.
“Wait a second. It just hit me.”
>”What?”
“…I was asleep. How’d you get in here?”
>”U-Uh…”
“League.”
>”Well I um. Sorta kinda…picked your lock.”
>Goddammit Little League.

>”Don’t worry, I didn’t damage it or anything.”
“But you still picked my lock nonetheless.”
>”S-Sorry..I just didn’t want to wake you up so early. That and it’d ruin the surprise.”
>You don’t have anything in your house to eat besides uncooked pasta and vegetables, so atleast she was being thoughtful.
>You think?
“Well. Thanks?”
>”Don’t worry about it Anon. It’s what good wi-” she cuts herself off for a second.
>”Friends. It’s what good friends do.”
“Well you’re certainly a wonderful friend then.”
>”Hehe…yeah…”
————————
>Zecora said this stuff would kick in after 15 minutes even on the most strong willed of stallions.
>SO WHY THE BUCK IS HE NOT RUTTING YOU INTO THE GROUND.
>UUUUUUGHHH.
>”Hey League.”
“Mhm?”
>”I just wanted to say sorry for being so rude a bit earlier.”
“Oh no you weren’t being rude Anon. I guess I made you a bit uncomfortable.”
>”It’s alright. I guess maybe I should’ve had some clothes on. You’re going through a time in your life where your body screams at you to fill it with what it wants and-” 
>All you can hear is blah blah blah blah and he keeps it up for atleast another five minutes.
>You nod and shake your head at random intervals and he just keeps talking.
>Even after all of that.
>He’s not even phased.
>Looks like you’ll need a refund.
>She said if it didn’t work she’d give you all 200 bits back.
>…Atleast now you have a reason to demand your money back.
“I think I’ll head out to school now Anon…”
>”But did you-”
“I ate already. So no worries.”
>”Well then have a good day at school ok?”
>You nod and head out the door.
>Stupid bucking Zecora and her nonfunctional ‘love potions’.
————
>League worries you some times.
>You’re more than sure she’s capable of taking care of herself but she doesn’t seem to-
>Holy fuck why do you have a boner.
>…Goddammit Little League.

———
>School is boring but you just have to deal with it.
>Classes go as they usually do, the crusaders sit by you and you all idly chit chat during recess.
>When the day ends Cheerilee asks you stay for a bit.
>You do as she asks and all the other students are gone, and you trot up to her desk.
“You wanted to talk to me?”
>”I just wanted to know how you were doing. And how things were going with Anon.”
“W-Well…I guess it’s better than what it could be. He doesn’t hate me. So it’s a start?’
>”That’s certainly an odd perspective on things.”
“It makes things seem less bleak for me.
>”What do you mean Little League?”
“We’re not quite together so..”
>”Ahh. I see.”
“It’s not as bad as I make it sound. There’s tons of stuff we do together that just ‘friends’ wouldn’t do.”
>Cheerilee leans over the desk enthusiastically and smirks.
>”You’ve got my full attention.”
“W-Well this morning I made him breakfast so-”
>”You’re already showing him what you’re capable of! Good progress!” she says springing forwards towards you.
>She’s a bit exciteable isnt she.
“Well yeah. Usually he cooks something for the both of us but I changed it up sorta.”
>”Ooooh what’d you make? Did it all turn out well?”
“You know how Anon’s an omnivore? Well I met with a gryphon and got him some meats.”
>”You did that just for Anon? How much did you wind up having to pay?”
“I didn’t stop there. I actually think I went a little over board. I spent 200 bits on I guess you could call it a love potion.”
>Cheerilee gasps and places a hoof over her mouth.
>”T-Two hundred bits? D-Did it work?”
“I used the whole bottle. I’d know if it worked.”
>”For Celestia’s sake Little League. You could have just charmed him yourself with some lingerie and stockings with that many bits. I doubt he just doesn’t care about you.”
“The thing is, this morning, I got him hot and bothered, but he had just woken up so it could be either or. I don’t know anymore Ms. Cheerilee. I’m at a loss with all of this.”

>”Well. We’ll have another sex ed lesson tomorrow. Maybe it’ll give you some more insight?”
“I hope so.”
>You begin to walk out the door and Ms. Cheerilee waves you off while sorting a stack of papers.
>A long sigh finds it’s way out into the open.
>This just doesn’t…make sense.
>None of this does.
>How Anon really feels about you will always just be something you’ll wonder about forever you guess.
>”Hey League.”
>Your face scrunches up as if on it’s own.
>You already know who it is.
“Hello Diamond Tiara.”
>”U-Uh. So you’re going to go see Anon today too right?”
“Yes. Yes I am.”
>”Do you think he’d mind if I…”
“Probably. But I don’t care if he does or not. You’ll follow me either way.”
>”I’d just like to apologize one more time and try and start over.”
“For what?”
>You begin trotting down the beaten path, this time taking the quickest way to Anon’s.
>”I didn’t know he was-I thought-”
“Thought what? He’d just instantly latch on to you and love you forever or something?”
>She stays quiet.
>”I just wanna talk to him again…”
“Fine. But only because you gave me those bits as an ‘apology’. I put them to good use.”
>”Really? What’d you use them for?”
“I cooked Anon a really good breakfast.”
>Laced with atleast 7 times the dosage a stallion needs to last for 5 hours straight.
>”Well you’re welcome.”
>There’s the old Diamond Tiara shining through.
“Look. We’re taking a shortcut this time.”
>”So you’re telling me that you made me walk ten miles last time?”
>You give her the smuggest smug smug you can manage and giggle a bit.
“Ain’t I a stinker?”
>”Ugh. I can’t believe I followed you for ten miles.”
“What can I say, you were being a real ass.”

>”I was being a little bit much. So…sorry.”
“That’s the best actual apology you can manage?”
>”I-I don’t apologize much. If at all.”
“Pfft yeah ok. Not an excuse.”
>She puffs out her cheek and looks away.
>”Not everybody is good at groveling at somepony elses feet ok?”
>Stupid Diamond Tiara.
—————
>Fffffuuuuuuck that’s the seventh time you beat one off and you’re still as hard as you were this morning.
>Your breathing is quickened and your heart beats in tandum with your rod.
>The only other time something like this had happened you were given some kind of zap apple cocktail.
>It tasted like ass but a while later and your trouser snake was more ornery than Applejack without her hat during a hot summer’s day.
>…Why did that come to mind.
>Fuck why is Applejack so fucking hot.
>FUCK WHY IS EVERYTHING SO FUCKING HOT.
>THE FLOOR TILES EVEN LOOK GOOD ENOUGH TO FUCK RIGHT NOW.
>Somebody-pony, whoever, whatever the fuck knocks at your door, and currently you’re boxing the one eyed champ on your sofa, so you just shove him in your pants and make him stick to your leg.
“JUST COME INSIDE.” You yell, crossing your legs to better hide your shameful pride.
>League comes through the door and so does that pink filly from the other day.
>Bone pls stop, now is not the time.
>No can do boss, you see fillies, I see potential fuck toys.
>”Hey Anon-why do you look so..”
“Hot? Haha I’m not hot. You’re hot. HAHA EVERYTHING’S HOT.”
>League stares at you with horror visible on her cute little freckled face.
>Which you might add, wouldn’t mind covering in-
>THAT’S ENOUGH DICK, YOU’VE DONE ENOUGH.
>The pink one looks confused.
>”A-Anon? Did you eat all of the food from earlier or-”
“I finished about all I had because I didn’t want it to go to waste. No need to worry about it or anything it was good I swear!”
>”Mr Anon are you sure you’re ok?”
“Diamond Tiara was it? Yes. IM FINE. Haha! P-Perfectly fine.”