"/mlp/ writes a fic-" By CanadianMarshmallow (https://pastebin.com/u/CanadianMarshmallow) URL: https://pastebin.com/Ap7mUhYP Created on: Wednesday 9th of April 2014 03:02:06 PM CDT Retrieved on: Saturday 31 of October 2020 03:57:58 AM UTC THE SCRUFFENING: Scruffy waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were shitposting and cancer on /mlp/. He had expected them since the birth of the board. His warnings to m00t had not been listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway. Scruffy had been a frequent poster for seven years. When he was young he saw the internet and he said to dad “I want to be on the ride, daddy.” Dad said “No! UNDERAGE B& GTFO!” There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now on the internet board of 4chan he knew there were cancer. “This is m00t” said an email in his mailbox. “You must fight the cancer! So Scruffy got his mod-privilege and posted on the board. “HE GOING TO BANHAMMER US” said the cancer. “I will bait him” said the tripfaggot troll and he posted >implying worst pony. Scruffy tried to ban him. But then he hit the delete button and all shitposting was deleted and not able to ban. “No! I must ban the cancer killing /mlp/”, Scruffy shouted! The e-mailbox said “No, Scruffy. You are the cancer that's killing /mlp/” And then Scruffy was cancer. And OP was a faggot. THE FANFIC: ONE DAY I WALK DOWN ROAD I SEE PONY IT IS TWILIGHT I AM DREAMING WAKE UP THERE IS KNIFE IN CHEST PERSON IN MY ROOM I DON'T KNOW I'M DEAD EXCEPT IT WAS A DREAM IN A DREAM "SPEAK TO ME, WARRIOR!", a voice echoed from all around. WAKE UP I'M STANDING HERE I REALISE PERSON IN MY BED I DON'T KNOW HE HAS KNIFE IN CHEST Then I wake up again cause it was dream. >And then I fall asleep, because being awake is for faggots. There once was a pony named Anon. His special talent was >rape. That was his cutie mark too. He specialized in all thing >rape. He loved it. And the >rape was good to him. Anon wasn't particularly good at anything else but he thought himself as above average in intelligence and very independant. He also wore a fedora which he had tendency to tip. It made him look deadly cool. On day Anon was walking down the middle of Ponyville, tipping his defora and thought, "I should kill myself". And then Anon slipped on spaghetti and died The End. THE FANFIC 2 - ELECTRIC BOOGALOO: Once upon a time- >rape by Rarara >Suddenly wake up greentext gone was fucking pony but then pony was not pony it is bear oshitnigger.jpg bear slaps me silly fucking bears is bad manages to run away from bear except it was just a dream wake up is being fucked by bear THE FANFIC 3 - RESSURECTION: "Spike? Could you come over here?" Today was the last day before Twilight left for canterlot, and she and spike, well, mostly Spike, were getting everything straightened up before she left. "yes, what is it, Twilight?" Spike replied. "I almost forgot, since you'll be running the library next week, we'll need to organize all of the books, so you'll know where everything is! Could you add that to the list?" Spike looked over at "the list". Celestia, he hated lists. This perticular list contained everything that needed to be done before twilight left, and was so long that just reading it would probably take as much time as they had before twilight's departure. "ugh," Spike sighed, "Fine, 'we' can reorganize the books... again." and then spike shot himself because he hated lists so fucking much except that was just a dream The next day that little purple green faggot woke up finding that Twilight had finally left for canterlot. "Fuckign finally. Bitch is off my ass." Then he phoned his Ziggra homies. 12 signals passed, yet no one picked up "ZIGGA PLS" Then finally, on the 14:th signal "YOLO" "Bro-" "ye?" "Wanna get fucked up?" "You got sum weed?" "Purple horse's gone" "Aight, be there" "Bring some pussy, yo. Bitches love books and reading" BUT WAIT IT WAS A DREAM AGAIN ANON WOKE UP, HE WAS DREAMING THAT HE WAS SPIKE OSHITNIGGER.JPG LOOK AT HANDS SPIKE'S HANDS OSHITOSHITOSHIT anon shoots himself except anon's awarness isn't gone he open up his eyes only to find that he has been reborn as Spike in equestria Anon still bled out and died. What a bitch. the end. THE FANFIC 4: THE PRE-SE-PRE-SEQUEL BEAT SHEET: 1. Lyra was walking down the road. She was in a bad mood, since Bon Bon hadn't put out in all week. "I'm so horny I could rape a horse!" She yelled softly. But following this eccentric confession, her head sank as her spirit left her. "But what's the point? Hooves aren't even my fetish." 2. Anon was also walking down same road but like a boss he kept tipping his fedora 3. Lyra kidnaps Anon for that hot monkey dick hands. 4. Anon is raped and Fluttershy watched while masturbating furiously because that was her fetish. 5. Anon is cut into many pieces for bite-sized fun! 6. Lyra feasts on human flesh because it is tasty.She even shared with Flutters!(cuz friendship is magic!!!) BUT, she neglected to fully cook Anon. They both had food poisioning and died a couple of painful days later. 7. The end.(Remember children, always fully cook and properly season your food or else you will painfully die with shit spewing from your ass.) I'm fucking 900 years old, I graduated top of my class in the navy seals, I know my shit already. THE FANFIC 5: AUTHOR'S ARGUMENT - A touching story about father and son. Fill in the blanks guys, k? Shut up faggot I do what I want, you're not my real dad.MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!Eh... I have something I need to tell you, son. what faggot. I am your father. And your "mother" is another man. motherfucker i knew you were a faggot. What can I say son? Horse dick is the best. YOU'RE NOT A HORSE DAD STOP IT WITH THE COCAINE AND HEROIN. Chill it. No one ever died from doing some cocain and heroin. Dad, you're a faggot.Yes, son. Shut up. If you touch me again I am going to call the fucking police on your ass ok? That's not very nice. Your other dad would be disapointed. I'm out, I'm just leaving. fuck your shit dad you suck I hope you die of shit being shoved down your throat. Sadface ): nice meme And he didn't even try the horse dick. I mean, the least he could do is taste it. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME AND TALKING TO YOURSELF I DON'T GIVE A SHIT GET OUT OF MY LIFE YOU GOD DAMNED NIGGER. OK THAT IS IT, ANON. I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET, BUT CALLING SOMEONE A NIGGER IS TAKING IT TOO FAR. Hey Dad guess what? NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT, SCUM! o-ok senpai ;~;YOU'RE NO LONGER MY SON. o-ok ;~; but before I go. . . HORSE DICK? NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER! AHW FUCK. get rekt m8 THE FANFIC 999: TRIPS anon was posting on/mlp/ god damn horsefucker anon he posted and looked to his post number >999 HOLYSHIT HE HAD TO BRAG ABOUT IT RUB IT IN EVERYONE'S FACES AND SO HE DID "MOM I GOT TRIPS!#!!##@!#@!@!!!!!1!!111ONE!!!!ONEONE!1!!1!!ELEVEN" "YOU DARE ACKNOWLEDGE MY EXISTANCE, SON? YOU ARE GROUNDED!" fuck those parental figures and their obssession with horse-dick always like hating how people acknowledge their practice of fucking horses or talk to them about sex-partners without hooves or anything and so anon was sad and cried about how fucking casual his parents are "Can they even get frags without using nub tube?" alot like so much his house was flooded his Box one drowned his dad opened the front door after returning from work and was bombarded by the ocean of tears and cum. then anon jumped up from bed, spun around and did a insta-kill headshot 720 noscope tear kill Anon looked to his dead parents and whispered "CHEK'EM m8" In a final breath his dad softly responded: "GR8 B8 M8 I RATE AN 8/8" The End THE FANFIC SEVEN: WHERE THIS ANON DOES NOT PARTICIPATE AND WAITS UNTIL OTHER PEOPLE BEGIN WRITING AS HELL Anon was filly-sitting the CMC because whatever dont care. suddenly Applebloom asked like the hic she was,"apples?" AND THEN APPLEJACK SUDDENLY APPEARED "APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES A PPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES APPLES" Anon instantly died from the attack It was very effective. the fillies were not raped that night, it was sad for all. except Mando. who isn't a filly.But a filly-fooler instead. And also produces terrible music. THE FANFIX 9: /K/ INVADES /k/ pls go nyet shit fic come help us LOVE MY SLAVSHIT CrotchTITS ARE LOVE HITLER DID NOTHING WRONG EVERYTHING RIGHT WHERE THE CAR AT THO? WHERE MAH GRILLS AT? Y'all need SPACE Satan ApplesPonut holes intense Plot holes!>Not preferring delicious marshmallow donut asshole >pleb ALL PONES BEST PONE! Seth go to bed AND SO THEN SETH WENT TO SLEEP AND DREAMED OF HIS WAIFU HIS WAIFU WAS THERE INFRONT OF THEM READY TO BE EMBRACED BUT THEN TRIXIE ASPLODED BLOOD AND GUTS EVERYWHERE He then awoke to find a bear violently cumming in his ass. it was a normal kind of morning. "I want to cum inside Jack T. Herbert's facehole" he said "I DONT KNOW WHO THE FUCK THAT IS" HOW CAN YOU KNOW WHAT TO CUM INSIDE OF IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO IT IS "BUT I DONT" nigger you just need to clam down and eat some dick's sporting goods approved beef jerky FANFIC 1111: PANCAKES waffles Fluttershy was raped by a dolphin. Even through it's not rape when you like it. Suddenly japanese man bursts into room "IT STUDY TIME!" "Did someone say... study time?" Twilight peeks out from beneath the rape-bed."GET BACK TO YOUR DUNGEON SPACKLE, RAPE COMES LATER!" "Whatever" Twilight said." I WILL FAIL YOU, YOU WERE NEVER MY FAVORITE STUDENT! Maybe you are not getting an A, but at least you are getting the D" Suddenly a pool of urine manifested itself in the room. It rose form a puddle into pillar "I AM TSUNAMI, SLAYER OF JAPS!" it's voice boomed."IMPOSSBRU" "YOUR TIME HAS COME JAP. BITE THE PILLOW, IM GOING IN DRY" "KAMIKAZE" Then there was water-tentacles, then there was ridiculus amounts of anal >rape, and the Jap was happy. for this gave him ideas... And so, the first chapter of Naruto Evangelion Paper Mario was written. srsly u gays. also Twilight lost her virginity to squid monster, she never flew again. We need to finish this essay by monday. WE NEED MORE TIME NOW ASK FOR AN EXTENSION AND HOOFJOBS FROM CHERILEE IT'S HAPPENING "THE RIDE IS OVER" - Said the crazy man THE RIDE NEVER ENDS FOOL PITY THE FOOL WHO THINKS THE DICK EXPANDING NEVER ENDS! JUST LIKE THE PEOPLE RIDING MY DICK! BECAUSE I LIKE DICKS SO MUCH! YEAH YOU SAID IT! I have a tulpa. It's so cute. It's a Zebra, tho. ya rascist faggot. <=(Purple this purple confirmed for being Zebra) so many ziggers Just kidding! It's an OC! ziggers always have that big flank (Wait, everyone's purple except that blue guy) ziggers are very nice in bed. One does not simply flimflam the Zim Zam in the googles. FANFIC 5293483????????H: ANON WRITES A delicious COFFEE kek there's not actually any fanfic writing going on down here just 4chin maymays fack u guys, Imah write a java o-ok senpai ;~; >not using C# class Dick{ //Declare dick private float FLACID_LENGTH_IN_INCH = 0.05*10^-12; //Length when private float ERECT_LENGTH_IN_INCH = 0.12; private float currentDickLength = FLACID_LENGTH_IN_INCH; private float thicknessInInch = 5; private boolean cuming = false; public void rubDick(float friction){ if (currentDickLength < ERECT_LENGTH_IN_INCH ){ currentDickLength += (friction/3); }else{ //Get closer to cuming if not cuming if (cuming == false){ Cum load = new Cum(/* roll for random or sum shit */); }else{ //cum currentDickLength = FLACID_LENGTH_IN_INCH; cuming = true; } } } class Cum{ /*I'm not sure what the properties of cum even is sperm cells and stuff from the prostate that keeps all of it together. Fuck, I remember //stuff *from high school Biology class.< Confirmed for underage >remember >implying I'm still in high school< Underage is butthurt I called him *underage lololololol * What separates one piece of sperm form the next tho? Like, actual properties seperate property here clearly we need a Sperm class too and */alist or whatever way Java handles bundles of objects in the Cum class to hold Sperm instances. List leSpermList = new List(); //Am I going delusional or is Java syntax almost the same as C# syntax? No you're not going insane private int numberOfSperms; //There is no such thing as a half sperm, keep the Floats away, beeyeetches cum(int quantity){ numberOfSperms = quantity; createSperm(); } class Sperm(){ public boolean fertile = false; //tfw no children } private void createSperm(){ for (int i=0; ipeople from 4chan accepting others opinions >wtf is this place? ftfy >people from 4chan complaining about people from 4chan accepting others opinions >wtf is this place? ftfy It's because biggest natural enemy of 4chan is 4chan.Nature is so fascinating 4chan is an enemy for every existing website. this is more like it,thought i got lost for a minute FANFIC TWO:THE ELECTRIC FAGGOT THE >RAPE OF SCOOTALOO anon was walk down road again anon died last time the end PS Scootaloo was being raped in the background by Flash Sentry and Mando Rainbow topcunt watched and violently came. Scootaloo was unable to scoot for she had massive internal bleeding from the >rape. Then Cherilee stuck her hard horsecock inside Pumpkin Cake FANFIC, THE ULTIMATE FANFIC: IT CONTINUES EDITION ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS OP OP WAS A FAGGOT AS USUAL HAD BROKEN ENGLISH DID NOT DELIVER ALL THAT, PLUS SUCKING DICKS BUT THEN ONE DAY A DIRTY JEW CAME IN THE JEW RUINED PONYVILLE WITH HIS SHECKLING AND GREED BUT OP KNEW THAT HE MUST BE THE ONLY FAGGOT AND HE WENT INTO COMBAT WITH THE JEW OF COURSE, THIS WAS A TYPICAL TURN-BASED RPG FIGHT BUT WHAT OP HAD WAS THE POWER OF DANGER MARIO HE HAD OVER 20 POWER RUSH BADGES EQUIPPED HE WAS READY HE PERFORMED A POWER BOUNCE AND WAS CAPPED AT 6 JUMPS, DEALING 240 DAMAGE DUE TO PAPER MARIO STANDARDS, THIS IS OVERKILL THE JEW WAS DEFEATED AND OP WAS NO LONGER A FAGGOT UNTIL TWO SECONDS LATER WHEN HE BEGAN SUCKING DICK AGAIN THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! "can I become a real man?" "no" "why? I don't like sucking dicks all day" "its in your genes son. make sure to wash them afterwords too." "genes sucks" "SHUT UP YOU WILL ENJOY IT YOU GOD DAMNED FAGGOT." "but what about dick in my ass?" "YOU WILL ONLY SUCK IT WORM, SUCK DICK AND NOTHING ELSE!"