"Derpy Clothes Ver IV"
By Botherer (https://pastebin.com/u/Botherer)

URL: https://pastebin.com/3MP93aqn
Created on: Tuesday 12th of July 2011 03:35:12 AM CDT
Retrieved on: Sunday 1 of November 2020 03:11:26 PM UTC


When the bags are opened, Maus finds that there’s… A LOT of stuff in there, of varying degrees of quality and fashionable taste, but all of them covered in tags. Sure, there’s some nice things in a black polo, a baggy grey hooded jacket, and a PokeRider t-shirt… But then there’s just other abominations to fashion that just shouldn’t have made it onto the shelves in the first place.
He finds several “things” that have the audacity to call themselves t-shirts; an orange one with green splotches and brown streaks printed on, a pink one with white polka dots tossed about, a black one with white splotches all over the front of it, and a purple one with rainbow horizontal stripes running down it.
They’re not all completely terrible, though; there’s a nice pair of dark green cargo pants and a pair of black jeans… The problem with those, however, is that Maus could probably stuff his whole body into either of the pantlegs, while the jeans look so constricting and tight…
That Maus would probably feel pain in his nether regions just from looking at them. This problem seems to be consistent amongst the things Maus unearths amongst the “wreckage”.
There’s some occasional deviations from the slew of shirts and pants that’s pouring out of the bags and the wagon; a couple of really nice looking, if not freakishly huge, blankets and pillows, and a few (probably now cold) crushed meal trays sitting at the bottom of the wagon, and… Is that a pair of lingerie there?
How the hell did THAT slip past Jamal? Maus can obviously see that Trevor wasn’t exactly paying attention to what he was picking out at the store.
In the last of the bags that Maus opens up, he finds that half of the contents are collared, long-sleeved shirts of “varying” colors… Varying meaning mostly white and light blues, occasionally straying to pastel colors, and one instance being a dark red with white flower imprints (similar to the background you’d see in a Spongebob episode).
There’s also a bunch of assorted sweater vests and dress pants, all of which are in varying sizes, along with a few ties; they range in appearance from “decent” to “Who thought Ducklett print was fashionable?!?”.
But buried at the bottom is a pair of black blazers, similar in design to Trevor’s. Maus would be surprised to find, if he tried either of them on, that, unlike ninety percent of the other things Trevor had bought, that these would actually fit him nicely.