"Anon/Twilight oneshot for AiE [Weird] [18+]"
By BigBurd (https://pastebin.com/u/BigBurd)

URL: https://pastebin.com/y8JzHdM4
Created on: Monday 15th of September 2014 01:48:13 AM CDT
Retrieved on: Friday 23 of October 2020 02:56:54 PM UTC


>Small beams of sunlight streak elegantly across the kitchen table in the treebary.
>You are reading Ponyville's local newspaper, who's title you have yet to comprehend.
"Celestial body: Princess Celestia's ass found to have noticeable gravitational pull"
"Huh. Weird headline."
>You quietly remark to yourself as you thumb through the soft paper.
>As you read, your right ear picks up what sounded like a soft grunt.
>At first you ignored it, but soon a moan reaches your ear.
>You let the paper droop in your hands, arching an eyebrow as you glance in the direction of the noise.
>You hear it again, but now more pronounced.
>It's Twilight, and it sounds like she's in pain.
>You get up, folding the paper onto the table.
>Curiosity and concern fill your thoughts equally as you approach the noise.
>After a brief moment, you find yourself outside the bathroom.
>Twilight groans again, but her breath hitches, indicating she may be hurt.
"Twi? You okay?"
>"Ohhhh.... y-yeeeessss...."
>Clearly not. She was struggling to form the word.
"Hey... I'm gonna poke my head in, okay?"
>She responds with another pained moan.
>You gently open the door just enough to move your head in.
>And there you see Twilight, on her toilet, her body shaking.
"Twi? What's the matter?"
>"Anon...please, I'm fine. My privacy... ple-"
>She fails to finish the word as she jerks forward an inch, a reaction to a jolt of pain.
"Your well being outweighs your need for privacy, Twilight. What's wrong?"
>"My... stomach..it hurts so much, but nothing is-ohhh.... coming out."
>She's constipated. Poor thing.
>"Could...could you sit with me? Please?"
>A strange request indeed. Alas, she is your friend, and you are deeply loyal to your friends.
>You walk back to the kitchen to retreive your chair, and return to the bathroom, setting down next to the toilet.
>You close the door behind you, just in case Spike wakes up to this odd situation.
>"Thank you, Anon."
>You smile at her, folding your hands together in your lap.
"Have you been drinking enough water?"
>"I..I think so..."
"You couldn't be. I can't think of what else could constipate you so badly."
"Drink more, okay? Less soda."
>"O..okay."
>She grunts again, trying to force the matter from her body.
>You can't help but notice how her belly is ever so slightly distended.
>She is leaning back against the toilet, exposing her lavender underside.
>For earth horses, such a posture would prove impossible.
>But you are pretty convinced ponies have anti-matter in their joints or some shit. They can bend and flex in ways a typical equine would never do.
>Your train of thought aside, you get an idea.
>Slowly and deliberately, you place your hand on her belly.
>"W-what are you doing?"
"Relax, Twi. Trust me."
>Gently, you press down against her, slowly but firmly pushing downwards, before slightly raising your hand, moving it up, and pushing down again.
>With luck, and a little coercion, you can help her pass this.
>Using your free hand, you rub her head and softly scratch at her ears.
>Her pained moans slowly become soft sighs, and her shuddering has all but halted.
>After a few minutes of this, you are rewarded with progress.
>A loud, long toot echoes away from the toilet bowl, Twilight's face growing redder exponentially.
>After several astonishingly long seconds, it ceases.
>Dead silence fills the room as quickly as her gas.
>Your stoic face warbles into a smile, which quickly becomes a full grin.
>Eventually, you can't help but laugh.
>Twilight looks so deeply ashamed, so you force yourself to stop.
>But not before you can comment.
"Ha ha. Nice one. Bet that felt good."
>"...yeah. It did."
>She giggles, and you follow.
>You resume rubbing her belly, and you immediately notice that the distention has been reduced.
>Not by a whole lot, but it's improvement.
>For several more minutes, you and Twilight idly chat as you help her overcome her booty busting bowel blockage.
>When finally, the moment of truth comes.
>Twilight bears down and you press against her belly, trying to clear the matter.
>Her body has shifted in such a way that you have a clear view of her purple puckered ponut.
>It's clear that the blockage is pressing itself against her exit, as it is distended almost two inches.
>But soon enough, it relaxes so that the first inches of the obstruction become visible.
>Twilight is in a lot of pain, a hoof gripping the hand you were scratching her ears with.
>Her opening stretches more and more, and your eyes widen and the sheer diameter of the turd.
>It slides outwards, inch by inch, slowly, as both disgust and arousal flood your mind.
>A tear rolls down Twilight's cheek as she endures the clearly overwhelming pain.
>Literal butt birth.
>Just when you thought it would be over, 5, 6, no, 7 inches of turd are sticking out of Twi's rear.
>But, at an astonishing eight inches, it plops free, landing in the toilet with a thud often reserved for when bowling balls hit the ground.
>Twilight's rectum is gaping, but slowly recovering from the ordeal.
>Under other circumstances, that might be pretty hot, but right now you're concerned whether or not that did damage.
>Twilight has a dopey grin on her face, clearly relieved.
>A few more toots escape her, along with the soft pitter-patter of urine hitting the bowl.
>You're pleased to see she's okay.
"That was...impressive."
>"Felt like hell. Thanks, Anon."
>She pecks you on the corner of your lips before using her magic to levitate the toilet paper and clean herself.
>You give her a quick hug before exiting the bathroom and heading outside.
>In the distance, you can see Celestia with an annoyed Luna orbiting her ivory butt.