"Call of the Cutie [Anon & CMC]"
By 8th-Sin (https://pastebin.com/u/8th-Sin)

URL: https://pastebin.com/yLGEr7Gq
Created on: Monday 17th of June 2013 11:41:22 AM CDT
Retrieved on: Sunday 9 of May 2021 08:39:58 PM UTC


>We, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, elect Anonymous, to join us as a friend, comrade, ally, sidekick-”
>Sweetie Belle continues to list every synonym for friend you could have ever possibly thought of while you take it as your cue to check out of reality.
>Right now you’re cramped in the Cutie Mark Crusader’s treehouse wearing a cape that’s too short on you, making it look more like a bib for babies.
>They’re taking you through some kind of initiation. Yeah, you’re becoming a member and you couldn’t be hating it more and it’s all Purple butt’s fault.
>You’re a pretty clumsy guy, more than the average person and because of that, whenever you got a job, you soon got fired from it. You burnt an entire day of cupcakes at Sugarcube Corner, gave everyone the wrong order when you were a waiter, got lost when you were a postman and the list goes on.
>Twilight assumed your clumsiness was the result of you not having a Cutie Mark and wouldn’t listen to anything you had to say about you just being clumsy and that human’s don’t have Cutie Marks. She then somehow convinced Princess Celestia into giving you stipend until you found ‘your special talent’.
>It was pretty cool at first, you got paid to do whatever you wanted so long as you had something to write to the Princess. You usually just made up something about your progress and a lesson that you learnt.
>After a whole month of freedom, the Princess decided it would be best for you to join the Cutie Mark Crusader, she thought being alongside other’s trying to find their Cutie Mark would somehow help you find yours.
>And so that’s why you’re stuck up in a tiny treehouse with 3 of the most annoying little fillies in all of Equestria.
>”...Officially a Cutie Mark Crusader!” Sweetie Belle’s loud squeak as she spoke brought you back to reality. That’s just a bit little cute.
>”So Anon, what do ya wanna do on your first day as a Cutie Mark Crusader?” Applebloom beams, these fillies are too excited about having you here.
>”Are there any cool tricks you can do? Maybe your talent is being a stuntman. How awesome would that be?” Scootaloo flutters her wings as hard as she can while you just sit there, looking at the fillies.
>They might be annoying but they’re cute as all hell sometimes.
“Maybe my special talent is sleeping.” You say with the flattest tone you can because you haven’t get a single reason to be enthusiastic about all this. You’re basically being paid to baby sit the biggest trouble makers.
>”Boooriing.”
>”Yeah Anon, that sounds lame.”
“Tell you what, why don’t you three think of something? Show the new guy how it’s done.”
>Just when you thought those smile couldn’t get any bigger. They give a little squee before huddling up together to work out an idea while you rub your eyes in frustration.
>It must be the bad mood talking but you’re already regretting everything about this day.
>”FORAGERS!” The three bouncing balls of colour jump right into your face making you jump up against the wall.
“And just where are we meant to go foraging?”
>”Why, in tha Everfree forest.”
“Are we even allowed in there?” You remember Twilight telling you something about that place but you never paid much attention to her ramblings.
>”Of course we are, so long as we have an adult and you’re an adult, aren’t ya?”
>She’s got a point.
”Okay, let’s go.”
>”CUTIE MARK CRUSADER FORAGERS, YAY!”
>You cup your ears hoping to avoid a headache. Today is going to only get worse, you can feel it.
>When you all arrived at the forest you began to rethink agreeing to this. This forest looked creepy and it only got worse the further you ventured inside.
>Trees stretching higher than your eyes can see, thousands of plants growing anywhere that isn’t on the path and you can’t shake the feeling of a few hungry eyes watching your every move.
>Your footsteps and the girl’s hooves are the only sounds that can be heard, apart from the occasional noise of a leaf or stick being stepped on and after each noise the forest falls deathly silent. The creepiest part is that while the forest looks alive, it feels dead. It’s colour looks dull and faded in comparison to Ponyville.
“Found anything yet girls?”
>”Ahh found some pretty flowers.”
>”WAIT!” Sweetie Belle’s does her trademark high pitch squeak. Okay, if these fillies keep getting cuter you may start enjoying this. “That’s Poison Joke, remember?”
>”Oh yeah. Hey, maybe we could use this for some pranks?”
>Applebloom and Sweetie Belle give a mischievous giggle before turning to you which you respond with a deadpan stare. You’ve seen and even experienced the poison joke before.
>You ended up looking like the hunchback of notre dame and if p0nies weren’t scared of you before, they were then. You even thought about moving into the bell tower then and there.
>”We weren’t reeaaaally going to do it Anon.” You just roll your eyes before turning to Scootaloo who is face first into a bush of purple berries.
“Scootaloo, you better not be eating those.”
>She turns to you and you can see the berry’s juice smeared all over her face and she has a mouth full of them too.
>Deadpan.
>”Whatsch? They’re go~od,” she spits a little of the berries with each word. Gross.
>”Really? Let me try some.”
>”Me too.”
“Uhh, girls, don’t go eating the strange berries. They could be poisonous.”
>”Relax A-Anon, they-the...” Scootaloo then faints.
>”Scootaloo!”
“Spit out those berries, now!”
>While they do that you rush over to Scoots to try and find a pulse.
>Got one and it seems slower than it should be. Hopefully it just put her to sleep or something but you can’t waste time hoping.
“Okay, we’re leaving.”
>”Ugh, Anon.”
>”Ahh don’t feel so good.”
>The remaining two fillies collapse. You give a heavy sigh before scooping all three up into your arms and run into what you’re hoping is the right direction.
>As you rush between the trees trying to find Ponyville you begin to smell something foul.
“What is that smell?”
>As if to answer your question, a Timber Wolf creeps out the bushes and you now remember what Twilight lectured you about that’s in this forest. Monsters.
>It’s possible you might stand a chance against it if you stood your ground but with the 3 unconscious fillies in your arms you decide against it.
>You keep running, pushing your legs faster and harder than you ever have before. Your breathing becomes incredibly erratic as you panic more with each step your pursuer takes.
>You’re not watching where you’re going and trip over the root of a tree causing the little fillies to fly out of your arms and land in front of you.
>You quickly turn to see how close the Timber Wolf is and as you do it pounces.
>Using your arms as a shield yourself, the wolf bites down and tears into your arm, you let out a loud cry of pain as it shakes and pulls in an attempt to tear your arm off. Your arm screams in agony as you try to fight the wolf off with your free arm.
>At that moment a swift orange hoof bucks into the wolf, shattering it into pieces.
>”Anon, are ya alright? I saw ya come into tha Everfree with tha girls. What in the hay were you thinking bringing them young fillies into here, don’t ya know it’s dangerous?”
“I’m sorry, I-I forgot... The girls!”
>You hurry over to them and using your good arm, you pick up Sweetie Belle and Scoots while AJ picks up Applebloom.
“We gotta get them back to Ponyville.”
>”Follow me, Ahh know tha way.”
>AJ darts off with you close behind. You gaze down at your bad arm, it’s covered in blood. The Timber Wolf tore into it badly and you’re losing a lot of blood.
>By the time you reach Sweet Apple Acres you begin to feel light headed, your last sight is Big Mac rushing over to you while you fall to the ground.
>You fall on your back to ensure you don’t crush the fillies in your arms, AJ stands over you shouting something but you slip out of consciousness before you can make sense of it.

>You’re woken to the sight of a hospital room and it looks like you’re the one in the bed.
>A quick look around confirms it. The room is a little small, you’re taking up several beds pushed together making it even more cramped. In the room with you is a white nurse p0ny who was taking notes before noticing you’re awake.
>”Good to see you’re awake, you’ve lost a lot of blood. Quite the nasty bite.”
“Where’re the-”
>”The fillies? They’re in the waiting room and before you ask, they’re okay, they just ate a paralysing berry. The effects wear off within the hour. Would you like me to send them in?”
>You give a nod and she then leaves the room then Applejack and the Cutie Mark Crusaders soon walk in.
>The little filly’s eyes are bloodshot and filled with tears. If it weren’t for the snot running down Scootaloo’s face, they’d look cute.
>”Anon, we’re so sorry. We knew not to go into the Everfree.”
>”And because ah us, you got hurt.”
>”We’re so sorry.”
>You stare at them and they hang heads and droop their ears, you can tell they’re sorry and this whole this was an accident. Applejack probably lectured them already so instead you take a deep breath.
“I’ll forgive you on two conditions.”
>They look up with their eyes filled to the brim with tears. You feel a pang in your heart.
“Next time I tell you something, you do it.”
>They nod. “We promise Anon, what’s the second condition?”
>You stare for a moment longer and observe their faces. They’re full of worry and you can’t help but think, they really are cute.
“You all give me a hug.”
>With that, they leap into your arms and you wince through the pain to wrap them in a warm hug. They wipe their tears on your shirt and you think Scootaloo wiped her nose on it too, gross.
>Maybe this whole Cutie Mark Crusader thing won’t be so bad after all.
