"AnonDad [ft. Celestia and Luna]"
By 8th-Sin (https://pastebin.com/u/8th-Sin)

URL: https://pastebin.com/NftaLg5B
Created on: Wednesday 26th of March 2014 03:44:33 PM CDT
Retrieved on: Sunday 9 of May 2021 08:39:21 PM UTC


"So, where are we headed exactly?"
>For the hundredth time you ask the timid little white pony clad in golden armour.
>"The castle, sir," she finally speaks up.
>The one you assume is the captain, looks back at her, clearly unimpressed.
>She looks up at you with an uneasy smile and shrugs.
>You just nod and sit back in the cage-chariot-thing you got thrown into.
>It's a long road but you can tell when you're almost there as the road smooths out and you're no longer rocking from side to side.
>You look out the window to see a beautiful, pristine castle.
>It's white walls loom over the town below it, the purple and golden sections add a regal atmosphere but the most stunning part of the view would be the mountain in the background, stretching higher than the eye can see while a pure waterfall cascades over it.
>It's a breathtaking. All of it.
>by the time you've taken it all in, the carriage door swings open and the captain barks an order.
>"Step outside. Nice and easy now."
>Given that six of them kicked your sorry ass an hour ago and now even more guards are here, you do exactly as you're told and slowly step out, bumping your head on the way.
>They then lead you inside the castle and down a seemingly endless hallway.
>The halls are decorated with antiques like vases, painting after painting and statue after statue of ponies.
>Then you arrive at two large golden doors that are swung open at you arrival to reveal a throne room.
>And there, sitting atop the throne is a tall white mare staring at you like some deer caught in headlights.
>This one is a little different to the others, for starters her coat is a near white-pink, she's got a much longer horn and she even has wings. Her mane is multiple shades of pink, green and blue and it never seems to stop waving like it's flowing in a gentle breeze.
>Her eyes might be bigger than her head at this point and her jaw has almost fallen through the floor.
>There's an awkward silence as Celestia mouths something, you're not sure what.
"Uh, good evening... Your highness... I am-"
>"Anonymous, correct?"
>The moment she interrupts you, her composure returns.
>She's now on her hooves, circling you and looking over every detail.
>"Let's get you out of those bindings, shall we?"
>Amazingly, her horn and the rope around your wrists glow a soft golden colour before the rope snaps.
>It was like magic and the whole effect has you stunned.
>You're not sure how to make sense of what you just witnessed but you push that thought into the back of your head as the mare begins to inspect you once again.
>It's making you feel so damn uncomfortable too but given you're pretty much an alien in a foreign world, you're not about to protest to being looked at.
"So... Have we met?"
>She stops dead in her tracks in front of you.
>"You don't remember me?"
"No, can't say I do."
>"Please fetch my sister at once, tell her it's urgent," she kindly asks the timid little guard who immediately darts off after giving a rushed saluted.
>The white mare starts staring at you again, this time her face is much closer to yours.
"So, uh, it's a pleasure to meet you..."
>"Celly," she stops herself mid sentence to clear her throat, "Celestia, Princess Celestia."
"Princess, you wouldn't be able to tell me where I am, would you or even how I might get back home?"
>"Home?"
"Well yeah, in case you haven't noticed, I don't exactly fit in. I'm not as colourful."
>You offhand comment elicits a little giggle from Celestia.
>It feels comforting to make her laugh.
>"Sister, it's the middle of the afternoon, we do hope this very urgent."
>You spin around to meet a tired, dark blue pony who's just a fraction smaller than Celestia.
>You don't get much more of a look at her as everything turns into a fuzzy, blue blur as the stuffing gets knocked out of you.
>"Daddy," is probably the last sound you hear, it was a high pitch squeal too.
---
>"Anon? Anonymous?!"
>You're woken by a gentle but panicked voice.
>"Ah, he's coming too."
>"Anon, we are most sorry."
>Your head spins and your body feels like it's being pulled, like it wants you to return to laying down.
>As you try and sit up, that familiar need to vomit hits you like a ton of bricks, you place a hand over your gut as it feels like it's churning and wrestling itself.
>You clamp your eyes shut to help focus on making everything feel steady and sure enough, the feeling slowly subsides. Not completely, but enough for you to sit still without feeling like you'll pass out again.
>"Are you alright?"
"Yeah... Anyone see the truck that hit me?"
>Celestia giggle again while Luna turns a bright shade of red from embarrassment, unknown to you because you're staring at guards who are looking at you in bewilderment, or rather they're looking at the two Princesses on either side of you.
>You feel just as confused as they do, but you've got a hell of a lot more reason to be confused than they do.
>"Ahem, thank you, my sister and I can handle it from here."
>The guards, uneasy about leaving their Princesses with an alien, salute before taking their leave.
>Honestly, you don't want them to go.
>They weren't there to protect you but you felt like they were in a weird way.
>Considering you just had one Princess spear tackle you into the next life, you're afraid of what will happen when they no longer need to remain composed around their subjects.
>Looks like you're about to find out.
>The doors close behind the guards, leaving you alone with two very excited princesses.
>But much to your surprise and pleasure, they don't tackle you again, or do anything involving physical pain.
>Instead, they step back, sit down and look at you like they're waiting for something.
"Ugh, so, you still haven't told me where I am."
>"Do you not remember us?"
>"It is I, Luna and this is Celestia," she says with pleasing eyes.
"I-I'm sorry... I have no who either of you are, where I am or what is going on."
>"Amnesia perhaps?" Luna asks her sister, completely ignoring that you need answers.
>"Actually, I was thinking, look at him. He seems younger."
>"That's true. He hasn't even gotten Mr Scruffy with him."
>The two mares are looking you over like a puzzle, trying to figure something out.
"Mr Scruffy?"
>"Your facial fur," Celestia fills in.
>"You called it Mr Scruffy and would tickle us with it," Luna adds.
"Oh right, that's the first question you answer!"
>Considering how you're supposed to be irritated at them, you hold any and all laughter from the thought of you tickling these ponies with your beard.
"How do you know who I am?"
>Luna gives you a puzzled look, like you should already know.
>"You are out father," Celestia says calmly.
>At first, you don't speak or move. Not until what she just said registers, which takes a minute.
"I... what.... How? What could I possibly stick my dick in that'd create you two?"
>The two are taken aback.
>"No-No! You didn't-"
>Luna blurts and stutters over her words as she looks to her sister for help.
>"Adopted!"
>"That's right! You adopted us, you didn't... You know..."
"Right... When exactly did I do this?"
>"Anon, we have just as many questions as you do. We thought we... But we think it's best we don't rush this, you need time to process all this."
>Your head screams at you to hammer on with questions, every second you haven't gotten answers only makes you more curious but Celestia is right, you've had to take in a lot today.
>First you arrive in a new and colourful world, you're attacked by a group of guards not 10 minutes into your arrival and you found out you adopted or will adopt two princess ponies to be your daughters.
>None of it makes sense.
>It's hurting your head just trying to make sense of the little things like how Celestia's glowing aura broke the rope earlier.
>Instead of carrying on with a barrage of questions, you lean back against a column and let out a tired sigh.
"You've got a point."
>"We can make more sense of what is going on tomorrow, for now, you need rest."
>"I will show him to his quarters sister."
>Celestia nods as Luna walks over to the door and waits for you to follow her lead.
>You pick yourself up and follow Luna without a word.
>You're feeling physically, mentally and emotionally drained right now and the thought of sleeping appeals to you, a lot.
>Maybe you'll wake up instead of falling asleep.
>This seems ridiculous enough to be a dream.
>But it feels real enough for you to know that this being just a dream is nothing more than hopeful thoughts.
>Luna leads you up a tower and into a large room.
>The bed looks big enough to be twice the size of a king bed, a few wardrobes and draws and a dead plant in the corner.
>Luna gives a tisk when she sees it.
"Nice room," you state.
>"It's been unused for many years but we think you'll like it."
"Thanks."
>Your tone is off and awkward, probably because you'd like for nothing more than to pass out on the bed but Luna stands there in her own thoughts, trying to think of some way to keep a conversation going.
>Just go, is all you can think of to say but you'd never be so rude to someone who is giving you a place to stay.
>Almost as if she read your thoughts, she leaves without a word.
>When the door closes, you hear a few hoof steps getting progressively further away and when you're sure she's gone, you dive onto the bed.
"Me, a father, ha!"
>You roll from side to side, taking in the sensation of feeling like you're on a cloud.
>Then you stop as you get near the edge of the bed and notice a picture in a frame.
>It's of a smiling human sporting a grin and a bad ass beard with two little fillies on either shoulder sporting wider grins.
>One filly is a very light pink, almost white and the other is a  midnight blue while the human looks like you will when you hit your 30's.
"No," you say, your voice trailing off alongside your thoughts.
>You put the picture back and lay flat on your back, spread out over the bed and staring at the ceiling.
>How is all you can think of.
>Before you can completely go through the process of registering that you might actually adopt or have adopted the princess, you're interrupted by a knock.
>Luna walks in, without introducing herself or waiting for a response.
>"Anon, would we perhaps be allowed to ask a question that may seem weird?"
"You just did. And it was very weird."
>"You know what we mean, may we request something of you?"
"Uh, sure?"
>Her horn glows like Celestia's did but this is a blue aura and the other half is wrapped around a book she taking off the shelf.
>You need to ask about that later.
>"Could you read us a story?"
>You can't even make a remark before Celestia walks in.
>"Oh, me too."
"Don't you two have a kingdom to run or something?"
>"No but you have a book to read," replies Luna as she hands the book to you with her weird little glowy-grip-aura.
>You're still incapable of processing what's happening as it happens.
>How are you supposed to take in that right now, you have two fully grown, princess ponies on either side of you on your double king sized bed waiting for you to read them a bedtime story?
>You're afraid of the day that this might become a normal thing.
>"Come on Anon, we're waiting," Celestia pleads as she rests her head on your chest and Luna rests on your lap.
"Sorry, uhm," you open the book up and begin to read, " Once upon a time, there lived three mares."
>It's not a long story, but it's not a particularly short one either.
>By the time you hit the end though, Luna and Celestia have fallen asleep.
>Judging by their sleeping faces, you say they fell asleep a little while ago.
>You awkwardly wriggle a little to get it a better position to sleep in.
>As you move, the princesses stir slightly.
>They remain asleep but warp you up into a hug making any more movement impossible.
>Looks like you're not going anywhere any time soon.
>Might as well make the most of it.
>As you drift to sleep, you look at the picture sitting on the bedside table.
"I do look good with a beard," you say to yourself.
-----
>It's been about a week since your arrival in pastel ponyland or better known as, Equestria.
>You've learnt a lot about this place but you still haven't quite settled in yet, probably because of the two attention hungry princesses making it impossible to relax.
>If you really were their dad, then hopefully you did a better job of what you're doing now.
>They were alright at first but everyday they crave attention like bored little children.
>You don't blame them, if you didn't see your folks for a thousand years, you'd be a little wrapped up in catching up too but it's wearing you out.
>"Anon, we are bored!"
>Luna's voice echoes through the halls and through your brain.
>You rub your forehead in frustration.
"Go to sleep, you're in charge of the kingdom at night."
>"But I'm not tired."
>You know damn well she is.
>She's terrible at staying up past her bedtime but she's holding on pretty well this time and you know why.
>You groan as you step into her room and see her already tucked in with a book on the bedside table.
>You decide to just give in and read the damn book.
>When you've finished reading it, Luna is fast asleep.
>It's hard to be annoyed at her when she's like this.
>Celestia however, is a different matter.
>The moment you close the book, she bursts through the door and yells excitedly.
>"Anon, check out what I found!"
"A three leaf clover with a fourth leaf glued on? Wow, the nature here is into weird kinds of arts and crafts, when do they start paper-mache?"
>"Usually around summer."
>Luna lets out a loud, irritated groan as she rolls over while pulling the covers over her head.
"Come on, let's not bother your sister."
>"Can we play hide and seek?"
"Aren't you over a thousand years old?"
>"Yeah, why?"
>Celestia lies low, like a puppy that's hyped and ready to chase a ball.
>You feel a pang in your chest that makes it impossible for you to say no.
"No reason, I'll count."
>You haven't even closed your eyes yet and Celestia has already darted off.
>Only now did you realise that this was a stupid game to play because she probably knows of a few secret spots whereas you barely remember a rough layout of the place.
>Today is going to be a long day.
-----
>"Dad! Dad! Dad, wake up!"
"Who the hell are you talking to Luna?"
>"You. Now get up!"
>You roll over to face the window, checking to see the moon a little progress on its ascension into the sky.
>It's around eight-ish, you'd guess.
"Also, I'm tired, I had to chase your sister around the castle most of the day.
>"I know, now it is our turn to play!"
>You roll back over to see Luna standing there in what can only be described as the pony version of batman.
>"I am the batmare, we used to play this when I was a filly."
"Please tell me I didn't."
>"Come, you can be nightwing."
"Dear god no," you grumble as you roll over and hide in your covers.
>Luna has other plans though, one that involve using her magic to throw your sorry ass out of bed.
>"You cannot escape the batmare, I am the night!"
"If I ever meet past me, he's dead."
-----
>You've woken up early in the morning and are now looking yourself over in the mirror.
>For once you're not awake because of either princess but because waking up at stupid hours has become routine for you.
>A few hours sleep here and a few there, it's what happens when Celestia and Luna are on opposite sleeping cycles.
>There's bags under your eyes, your skin look dry and you've been growing a beard.
>Turns out Equestria doesn't have shavers and you're a bit uneasy about taking a knife to your face.
>"Growing out your facial fur I see," Celestia says.
"Yeah, not sure if it's a good idea or not."
>"It looks good. Trust me, it'll grow on you."
"Wow, that was bad."
-----
"Luna?"
>"Who dares summon the batmare?"
>Her voice echoes throughout the castle, making it impossible to tell whereabouts she's hiding.
"Your... Dad... So come out so I can talk to you, face to face."
>As you walk through the castle, Luna doesn't appear.
"I'm going to count to three then... One... Two... Thr-"
>You turn around to come face to face with an upside down Luna which scares the ever living shit out of you.
"Don't do that," you stammer with a hand clutching your chest.
>Your erratic heart is thumping so loudly you can feel its beat through your entire body.
>"What did you need of me father?"
"You need to take the costume off, it's been two weeks now."
>"Never! I am THE NIGHT!"
>She flicks up her cape before  sprinting off in the opposite direction.
"I'm not chasing you again Luna," you shout as you dart down the hall after her.
-----
>"Anon," you hear the two princesses in unison.
>"It's time to lower the sun."
>"And raise the moon. Come watch."
"Girls, I'm exhausted," you manage to mutter back.
>There's a little bit of whispering before you hear them both leave.
>It's odd for them but you're not about to complain, you're too tired for that.
>You soon drift back to sleep but you're woken a few minutes later.
>Still in a half-asleep state, you lie perfectly still as Luna and Celestia climb under the covers and rest beside you.
>"Goodnight sister, goodnight dad."
>"Goodnight Luna, goodnight Anon."
"Night girls," you murmur as you drift to sleep once more.
-----
