"Snow Way Out"
By 8th-Sin (https://pastebin.com/u/8th-Sin)

URL: https://pastebin.com/PUn1ZmLS
Created on: Saturday 9th of August 2014 06:35:02 PM CDT
Retrieved on: Sunday 9 of May 2021 08:39:15 PM UTC


"Hey Pinkie, Mr and Mrs Cake. We're here," you call out as you enter Sugarcube Corner.
>You take delight in finally arriving as you can already feel yourself getting warm once again.
>You’ve never been more envious of the ponies before; you’d kill for one of those winter coats considering how unaffected by the cold they all seem. They only need to wear a few extra articles of clothing, like a scarf, if they need more warmth.
>The pink bundle of joy and energy springs up onto counter and beams at you.
>"I’m so glad you two are here! The Cakes left early this morning so it'll be just you, Moonie, and myself. Oh, and Sir Bearington," she states with a warming grin.
>"Anon, can I take this stupid get up off now? We're inside where it's warm."
>Moonie glares up at you which causes you to crack a smile, much to Moonie's displeasure.
>She's wearing a blue and white striped scarf, beanie, and socks with black shoes that you made her wear after she tried to use the cold as an excuse to stay home.
>Actually, she was fine with it all until you made a comment about her looking cute, then she wouldn't stop raving on about how she is the personification of the night, darkness, and the oncoming storm also that she is not to be referred to as cute.
>"Aww, but Moonie," Pinkie squeals while scooping her up into a hug. "You're so adorable like that."
>The second Pinkie latches onto Moonie, the filly begins the struggle to free herself of Pinkie's vice grip like her life depended on it. 
>Moonie is close to breaking free so Pinkie releases her, allowing her to use her magic to launch all the clothing off her.
>"Don't. Do. That."
>Pinkie gives a soft cackle. "Oh yeah, Twilight will be around to help out later once she and Dashie finish some weather experiment," she adds before strutting into the kitchen.
>"I may end up hurting her by the time the day is done. No pony lays a hoof on the queen like that."
"You know, back on my world, there was a word for people like you."
>"What?"
"Tsundere."
>"What does that mean?"
>Before you have chance to answer, Pinkie calls out. You've got a long day of work ahead of you so you head in to set to work.

>The Cakes have decided to go on a trip to visit relatives to introduce the twins and all that jazz, so they left you and Pinkie in charge.
>Despite her constant protests, you've brought Moonie along because a day of work would be good for her.
>Plus, Pinkie would chew your ear off if you were the only one to talk to aside from customers.
>And so, the three of you set to work.
>Thanks to Pinkie, all the prep work has been taken care of before your arrival, so you give Moonie the task of making icing and then making whipped cream while you make the all dough and Pinkie runs to the market for a few last minute things. 

>After roughly an hour of work, you decide to take a short break and to check up on Moonie whose new job is decorating the cupcakes.
"Hey, how we doing over here?" you ask as you wash your hands.
>"Good. I thought if we draw pictures on the cupcakes, people would be more enticed to buy them."
>This elicits an, "Oooh," from Pinkie.
>You're pretty impressed by Moonie: it's not a bad idea but you know what Moonie's creative spark is like. You look over the complete cupcakes to see various pictures that are all drawn quite well
>There's Moonie in her adult form striking a proud pose and Sir Bearington doing battle with some monster and various ponies throughout the town clad in armour or fighting.
>You decide they're all pretty harmless and let her be with the exception of the cupcake she just finished.
"Moonie."
>"Yeah?"
"What's with the two big lumps on my head?"
>"It makes you look like a butthead," Pinkie squeals.
>Moonie cheekily pokes out her tongue before you eat the cupcake whole.
>"Hey, those are for the customers!"
>"Yeah, stop ruining my art!"
"Tastshh tehst."

>Pinkie has always had an attention problem, unless it was something fun and, while she does enjoys baking, she enjoys playing with Moonie more.
>Well, she sees it as playing, but Moonie calls it terrorising.
>You feel a tug at your pants that hastily rises up until you can feel the weight of a small filly clutched to your shoulder.
"What are you doing?"
>"Hiding, shh!"
"You know my shoulder is a terrible-"
>"Shh."
>She points towards the door as Pinkie enters, nose firmly planted to the floor as she sniffs like sound kind of blood hound.
>Fascinated, you watch the pink pup until she boops her nose on your foot then she peers upwards.
>"Playing pirate?"
>“Get away peasant! I’m not playing your silly game any longer.”
"Enough," you interject as you place Moonie back on the floor.
>Pinkie completely ignores you and rears up.
>She then shakes her flank to signal she's about to pounce.
>Moonie wastes no time in making her getaway.
>The room is filled with the stamping of hooves and Pinkie's playful barks.
>You roll up the Foal Free Press that's beside you and whack Pinkie on the nose the moment she tries to run past you. She comes to a halt and jolts upright, frozen in place, completely stunned about what just happened.
"No. Bad pony. No biscuits for you now."
>"Oh, you're no fun," she sighs as she walks back over to her counter with her head hung low.
>Moonie looks at you with a big shit-eating grin before you gesture to her part of the counter.
>She pouts before getting back to work.

>You get a little too absorbed in your work for who knows how long but the smell of burning snaps you out of it.
>You hastily turn off the oven and take out the confectionery that has been burnt beyond recognition before looking for the two missing mares.
>"Anon," Moonie shrieks as she sprints into the room. "You have to stop her. She's turned into some wild bea—"
>Pinkie dives for Moonie and latches onto her firmly as the two barrel roll across the room.
>Moonie squirms and panics as Pinkie gives her an affectionate cuddle but her grip is too tight for her to escape.
>"I think somepony needs to smile."
>"I think somepony needs to release me before they incur the wra-"
>Pinkie cuts her off by tickling her, sending her into a laughing fit. Her face looks almost like she’s in pain.
>Then again, you've often suspected laughter was like poison to her unless it was about someone's suffering.
>Normally you'd be entertained by their antics but you've got work to do, work you're falling behind in so you loom over the pair. Pinkie immediately lets go, allowing Moonie to hastily crawl behind your leg and clutch onto it in hopes of protection.
"Back to work," you growl.
>The peppy pink pelose procrastinator shrugs before heading towards the counter she was working at.
>"Uh, Anon."
>You look over to Pinkie to notice the window behind her is caked in snow.
"What weather experiment was that purple little shi-" you cut yourself off, remembering Moonie is standing behind you.
>"I never asked, so I think it's a little mean to send blame straight to Twilight like that."
"Pinkie, the weather here is controlled by the weather ponies and they said it'd be clear winter's day."
>"I'm with Anon on this."
>"Alright, I see your point but here's my counter argument," she replies with a sinister grin, "we have no work to do today."
>Moonie clutches onto your leg again.
>"So... I guess this means-"
>"Anon... your queen requires your assistance," Moonie pleads.
>You turn and face her with the same grin as Pinkie.
"She's got a point Moonie."
>"Traitor!"
>With a shriek of horror she scurries off into the other room.
>Pinkie tries to give chase but you scoop her up and begin tickling her.
>She wriggles and writhes in the grip with all her might but it's not enough and it doesn't help that her strength is fading thanks to her giggle fit.
>Moonie pops her head back into the room and when she sees Pinkie is trapped she arrogantly cackles as she walks back into the room.
>"My apologies for ever thinking you were a traitor Anon, you've always been my second most lost servant."
"That I have your majesty but hearing what you called me has wounded me pretty deep," you reply as you release your grip on Pinkie.
>"No, no, no, noooo~" Moonie shouts as she makes her pre-emptive escape.
>Pinkie takes a moment to catch her breath before pursuing her prey.
>You enjoy a laugh to yourself before taking a seat with a book by Starswirl the Bearded.
>Seems in his spare time, the guy wrote really poorly written self-insert romance/sex novels.
>Well, it's categorised under romance but you'd rather call the story of Torolf and Hilda a comedy. You read a part of the story where he uses “dick parkinsons” to describe ejaculation and your sides split with laughter.
>Due to your roaring laugh, you don't notice the approaching danger. The two mares silently creep closer and closer to you and pounce.
>"Gotcha," they exclaim as Moonie's magic uses a rope to tie you to the chair.
>The two immediately try tickling you to no avail. Being rubbed all over by hooves doesn't really work for you, besides you've never been the ticklish type to begin with.
>"He's not laughing," Moonie points out.
"Better luck next time, now untie me-"
>"Yeah... I know," Pinkie replies before zooming off and returning with two icing bags, "as Rarity would say, it's time for a makeover."
>Your protests and pleading for freedom fall on deaf ears, or rather they seem to fuel the mischievous little ponies.

>The two giggle and mutter amongst themselves as they pour icing onto your face.
>"Woah, Pinkie, why is the door leaking?"
>If it weren't for the icing caked on your face, you'd look at what they are talking about.
>Then you hear the door open up followed by Twilight's voice.
>"Sorry everypony, my little experiment had some minor... Complications," she says in a sheepish tone, "wait, what is going on here?"
>"Nothing, we were just clowning around."
>Pinkie Burst into laughter while Moonie gives a pained groan.
"If that was a pun, I'm going to hurt someone."
>"Relax Anon, you just look as little funny is all," Twilight adds.
"Untie me so I can go home."
>Someone uses their magic to untie you and as you stand up, the mountain of icing falls into Pinkie's mouth.
"Gross," you and Moonie say in unison.
>Moonie then heads for the door but you stop her to once again force her into her winter clothing. The moment she's all dressed up, Pinkie scoops her into another affectionate hug while commenting on how adorable she is.
>Moonie just looks up at you with a deadpan look, her hope and optimism gone.
>"I hate you both."
