"[Filly NMM] Nerph Wars"
By 8th-Sin (https://pastebin.com/u/8th-Sin)

URL: https://pastebin.com/u85tCdsZ
Created on: Saturday 11th of April 2015 03:05:03 AM CDT
Retrieved on: Sunday 9 of May 2021 08:39:07 PM UTC


>“Anon-”
>Recognising that whiney little call, you interrupt her.
“You’re bored, I know. One sec.”
>You get up and scrounge through your desk draws to pull out two little toys you had built from ones you remember from your world. 
>Even in another world, copyright laws would still find a way to hunt you down so you call them Nerph guns.
“Here, use your magic to pull the trigger,” you say as you hold one out for Moonie.
>She uses her magic to levitate it closer for inspection but somehow doesn’t quite grasp what you asked her to do. 
>That or just didn’t listen, which is more likely. 
>So you fire a round off that hits then bounces off her horn. 
>The sudden foam dart pelting her scares the living daylights out of her. He magic drops the gun then she lets out a high pitch squeal as she dives behind the lounge.
“It’s called a gun in my world,” you explain while simultaneously trying to suppress your laughter, “It uses air to fire little foam darts. 8 shots per gun. Harmless.”
>She struts out from hiding, trying her best to make it seem she was never scared, to look over the gun again.
>“So… like this?”
>She pulls the trigger, firing off a dart. It whistles faintly as it soars across the room and bounces off a wall.
>“Woah, alright. Let’s play!”
>The overly excited filly beams at you which spreads a warmth in your heart and puts a smile on your face. 
>You take the time to show her how to reload the gun, place the bullets fired back in then the two of you run off to hide. 
>Once the pitter patter of scampering hooves dies off, you know Moonie found a place to hide. 
You can almost hear the echo of a small breeze flowing through the house because of the sudden silence. 
>You’re half expecting a tumble weed to roll into your bedroom, where you’ve hidden yourself behind your bed.
>“Anon! Come find me.”
“That’s just what you want, bloody camper.”
>“I know, that’s why I told you to do it.”
>Again things go quiet. 
>But this time it’s boring. 
>She’s not going to come after you so you get up to go find Moonie. 
>You try to walk as quietly as possible, shifting your weight from one foot slowly to the over in hopes the floor boards don’t creak. 
>The first room you decide to check is Moonie’s room. 
>The door is wide open so you scan for obvious signs for where she might be to no avail, so behind the door is the next place to look. No fillies there either. 
>You creep into the room more to check under and behind the bed but as you get on your knees to lift the sheet and check, Moonie dives out the closet with a squeaky warcry.
>“Die scum,” she bellows.
>She almost reminds you of the way a cat screeches when you step on it’s tail. 
>With that and all three darts sailing right over your head, you give out a roaring laugh and fire three of your own shots. 
>Two out of three find their mark on Moonie’s big head.
>“Retreat,” she stammers as she zips out the room.
>You pause for a moment and wait for the house to fall silent again. Then, you make your move. 
>Stealthily prowling the house for the queen of mischief. Her size gives her quite a lot of places to hide, at least compared to you. 
>It’s not until you finish the lounge room and are about to move into the kitchen that Moonie pounces once more. 
>Like when the xenomorphs burst from their host’s chest in Aliens, Moonie burst through the two cushion of the couch, nerph gun at the ready.
>“I’ve got you now!”
>Two shots go off, one from you and the other from her. 
>Both find their mark but before you can fire again, Moonie ducks behind the arm of the lounge. 
>She pops her head up for a glance so you fire a dart that misses. But it gets you a second to duck into the kitchen. 
>The problem with the kitchen is there are two entrances on either side of it. 
>Making it easy for Moonie to get the drop on you if she guesses whichever you’ve got your back to at the time. 
>You hastily take off a shoe and place it at one door so the toe can be seen slightly from the entrance, then you move to the other door. 
>After a minute, your plan works. 
>Moonie runs to the door you were waiting at.
“Hi,” you say with a menacing grin growing from ear to ear.
>Almost as if you were in the old Scooby Doo cartoons, Moonie’s fur stands on end all at once as she jumps into the air to starts kicking and flailing her little legs to start running before darting off. 
>You fire another two shots both of which miss. 
>You decide to give chase. 
>Your legs are longer so you’ll obviously be able to catch her without even needing to run. 
>As she is sprinting down the hallway, you pull the trigger three time. 
>One dart hits her square in the flank causing Moonie to elicit a yelp, the second falls short and the third is just a click. 
>No dart. 
>You’re empty and the enemy knows it. 
>She grinds to a halt before slowly turning around. 
>A low cackle echoes towards you as she aims.
>“This time…”
>She begins to run at you. 
>You decide to let her have this and stay still. 
>Moonie lets out a laugh as she fires shot after shot. 
>Until she gets to her final two shots, when she trips up on something and slams face first. 
>Being the arse that you are, you laugh. 
>Hard. 
>Then all laughter dies the moment Moonie lifts her head. 
>Blood is oozing from her mouth and quite a bit of it has already pooled onto the floor. 
>Worried parent mode kicks in and you dart over to her, scoop her up and carry her to the bathroom where you tend to the bleeding.
“Say ah,” you tell her, opening your own mouth to gesture to her to do the same.
>Looking around you notice she’s knocked out a tooth and the bleeding has mostly slowed. 
>So you clean her bloody face up a bit and give her a lightly dampened face cloth to soak the blood while you go clean the pool on the hallway carpet. 
>There is where you find a very large tooth. 
>You know horses have bigger teeth than humans but it’s still fascinating to see. 
>Then an idea sparks.
“Well, aren’t you lucky,” you say aloud as you enter the bathroom.
>“hohlw?” She asks, mouth full of cloth.
“Since you’ve lost a tooth, the tooth fairy will come to collect it and give you money for it.”
>“Hohlw muth?”
“I don’t know how the tooth to bit exchange rate is. But usually you’d get a dollar in my world, two if you kept good care of it,” you state as you inspect the tooth, “maybe one bit. Do you even brush when I tell you to?”
>“Yeasth!”
>She nods furiously but you’re not buying it. 
>The tooth looks lightly browned and a little grainy. 
>Then again, she’s a different species. You’re not sure how healthy pony teeth look.
“Okay. The tooth fairy will be the judge of this.”
>“Hegh, Amom, hohlw dosth tha tooflth fairwe imn lor-”
“You’ll have to take the cloth out for a moment.”
>“Othay… How does the tooth fairy in your world collect everypony’s teeth if there is no magic?”
“Technology,” you bluff with an awful poker face.
>The question caught you off guard and you weren’t prepared for the bombardment of questions that followed about how she does everything with only technology. 
>So you do your best to lie through your teeth up until it’s bed time.
---
>Once you’re sure the ever curious little menace is asleep, you step into her room quietly to grab her tooth from the glass of water beside her bed and replace it with a bit. 
>Once the tooth is in your hand, you turn to be greeted by a very awkward blue mare smiling at you.
“Who the hell are you?” You angrily ask while trying to keep your voice below a murmur.
>“T-The… Tooth fairy?”
>You try to focus on the mare in the dark a little better.
“Colgate?”
>“Y-Yeah.”
“What the hell are you doing in my house?”
>“I’m here for the tooth.”
“Why?”
>Colgate shuffles a hoof on the floor, avoiding any eye contact until she eventually stammers out an answer.
>“I just need it.”
>You rub your eyes in frustration.
“For?”
>“Stuff…”
“Colgate!” You hiss, causing the mare to reel back in fright.
>“Okay... but you have to promise not to tell."
>You don't respond, you wait quietly for her to continue talking. All the while glaring at her which she probably can't see given how dark it is.
>"It's... a, uh," she sighs, "a fetish thing."
>Staring into her eyes, you can tell she’s serious. 
>And the answer breaks you. You don’t want to ask into it any more, instead you just flatly ask her to cut you a deal.
“50 bits and it’s yours.”
>“WHAT?!”
>You harshly shush her. Colgate lowers herself, her head hanging slightly off the floor as she whispers what you think is an apology.
“I’ll also never tell a soul about tonight.”
>Again, she scuffles her hoof on the spot nervously before giving an answer.
>“Deal,” she replies reluctantly.
>With that out the way, she takes the tooth and leaves. 
>You pocket the bits and head to bed to dream about all the possible ways she could use a tooth for her fetish.
