“C-can I play with my friends today?” I ask Rarity over breakfast. It’s the longest sentence I’ve said this morning.
I’m trying to swallow that feel of cold dread, which has plagued me since that dream last night. I’m not having much success though. I woke up in the darkness again this morning. All I could think was how much I didn’t want to die, not like that! And suddenly the endless monotonic rows and rows of houses dissolved, into the dim night colors of a lavender room and green bedsheets. The awful creeping ache faded into a delicate softness of the fur on my body sliding against cool sheets.
I didn’t panic this time. I didn’t call for Rarity, though I wish I could. But I can’t keep scaring her like that. It was just a dream, anyway! It wasn’t even a dream: most of it was a memory. It was a dream about an ordinary memory, and it was exaggerated as dreams will be, but it was still just a memory.
It was as if all the fear and despair that I had grown so attenuated to during my long, fruitless, solitary walks to nowhere, just all decided to gang up on me at once. Why is it bothering me so much?! It’s not a problem anymore, so everything is okay now! I escaped the houses! I have real friends to talk to and– and adventures to–
“Oh Sweetie,” Rarity says sympathetically, “You remember you’ve got your therapy, don’t you?” She has the relaxed look of a fine lady in her bathrobe, sans bathrobe of course as we’re both completely naked. But if she had a bathrobe on it would fit her mood perfectly, sipping at a steaming teacup cradled in her magic and occasionally munching on a greenish tinged sliced bread.
“Y-yeah I mean a-after the in t-the afternoon, I mean,” I stutter, just unable to calm down. I sound stupid. I shouldn’t even be talking at all, if I can’t talk. What is wrong with me?! It just makes my heart ache, thinking about those thankless walks. It’s not just an abstract sadness, but a frighteningly physical ache. Maybe this body just can’t take it. I hope I’m not hurting myself!
“Sweetie, you’re white as a sheet!” Rarity exclaims, looking over at me with concern. Her hindquarters shift as she lets her tail out to lash along the floor, turning just enough so her full attention is on me. “You haven’t said a thing all morning,” she realizes, with seeking eyes and a serious frown, “What on earth is the matter?!”
“A-aren’t I supposed to be white?” I ask, uncertainly. I should tell her. This would be a great time to tell her. Maybe... maybe after therapy, when I’m feeling calmer. I’ll feel calmer soon, right? I just don’t know. I just sat in the darkness trying to sleep, but afraid to even close my eyes again, until the sun rose and Rarity came to awaken me for my appointment.
“I meant your complexion, dear,” Rarity says unfazed, but adding with emotion, “Please, do tell me what’s got you so in a fright!” She half stands up at that, as if to come save me from the precipice of disaster, but nothing’s wrong, right? It was just a dream! I can handle it all by myself, and I don’t have to worry her or get any help for such a trivial little, yet terrifying... thing.
My face remains focused downward, as I tilt my eyes up to look at her. I swallow. I haven’t touched my fried eggs or toast, yet. I wonder what eggs taste like. I wonder why the toast is green. “I had another n-nightmare,” I force myself to say, before dwell on what to say, before I think about it any longer.
“Another one?!” Rarity exclaims at my morose little chirpy sentence, jumping right up from her stool by the table. “Come here, Sweetie,” she fusses to me cursorily, though she comes at me instead so I don’t know why she told me to come over there.
I wave my hooves at her approach, saying, “No n-no it’s okay you don’t need t-to” but she’s already pulling me from my precarious seat and surrounding me with a hug. It... ohh my gosh it feels so good. I knew I was tense as corded steel but, but I couldn’t even imagine how much a hug from her would relax me. Rarity’s soft responsive warmth surrounds me, around my hips and back with my chest and tummy pressed against her, her scent so comforting in its closeness. I hesitantly raise my own hooves wondering if I should, but needing to hug her too. I notice those arms are also shaking.
I hug Rarity back as hard as I can. The sheer relief that floods through me makes me regret ever turning down a hug before in my life. It’s not a desperate hug, but just I’m so surprised at how much I needed one, how much I needed to hug her. She’s a living breathing creature and every inch of me can feel the life in her. Not a pillow, nor a stuffed toy, nor some ghostly online roleplaying appearance. Rarity is here with me.
...maybe a little desperate. My eyes are just, leaking a little bit that’s all.
I just stared at her when Rarity came in to see if I was awake. She asked how I was doing, and I had just been sitting so long in terror of the dream that I couldn’t even say a word. She seemed to think something might be wrong, but just nervously suggested that perhaps she could comb my hair. That helped... a lot... and I managed to thank her on our way down to breakfast. But it was only when I stared glumly down at my food that I found enough courage to reach out to her and ask for help.
I should have asked her a long time ago. I should tell her...
“Is that thing in the Badlands giving you nightmares?” Rarity asks over my head, with a teeming anger in her voice. She’s not exactly asking me, but I do have to tell her, so maybe I’ll let her know the truth just a little bit slowly, so it will be easier.
“...sorta,” I say informatively.
“Dear, would you like to talk about it?” Rarity asks, loosening her hug just enough to cradle me with my back against her upper arm. “At least tell me what the dream was about,” she pleads insistently.
“You wouldn’t understand,” I say quietly, turning my head aside with guilt.
“Try me,” Rarity says in a wry voice, with a squarely flat expression.
I take a shuddering sigh, and lean forward to sit on my haunches with my hooves between to hold me up. At least I’m not outright leaning on Rarity anymore. She releases me enough that I can sit by myself, but remains very close to me while I speak. “I was just walking along some houses that I... saw before,” I say, “And there wasn’t anything to do besides walk past houses, but I wanted to explore. But there wasn’t anything to explore! Just houses!”
It comes out with a surprising vehemence; I didn’t think I even cared anymore. I look up at Rarity, and the corners of her mouth are just barely twitching down, but she keeps her expression carefully neutral. “I suppose I don’t understand after all,” Rarity says in a tired drawl. “Why didn’t you just leave town, if you were so disturbed by ...houses?”
“Because I wasn’t supposed to,” I say uncertainly, adding, “It was the same out of town too, anyway.”
“There were houses, out of town?” Rarity says leadingly.
I shake my head, “No, but it was the sa҉me!”
A moment of silence passes, and I just sigh. “I’ll be okay,” I say to Rarity, and I will be okay because she’s right. It was just a bunch of dumb houses all along. I’ll be okay if I can see my friends—her friends, her friends. I’ll be okay if I can see the ponies. The ponies who walk outside. The ponies who are really there, and not just empty streets, piggish fear, and silent houses.
“It was just one of those things, I guess.” I mumble, still dissatisfied with my own answer.
Rarity releases me, and I don’t immediately tense up again once she stands up beside me on the floor. In fact, I feel ...pretty good. The dream is scary still, but she managed to get it to stop gripping me so much. Is that really what a hug can do? Just knowing she’s there to support me takes the edge right off of my despair.
Rarity cleans up after breakfast, and lets me practice holding things, by wiping off the kitchen table with a damp cloth. I know she’s just humoring me, but I’ll take anything I can get at this point. I’m gonna make sure that table shines.
When we head out into Ponyville towards the hospital, I lay my head on Rarity’s back as she walks me through the streets, gazing at everything shining bright in the morning sunshine. I count ponies idly, and when we pass open areas, I can see some ponies setting up stands, for those open air markets this show is known for. I spot the Doctor, right when Rarity slows to a halt and a peachy voice sounds out,
“Rarity, hello! How are you doing lately?” I turn and look, and...
Huh, I don’t recognize this mare at all. Rarity does though. “Sandy!” she announces pleasantly. “How nice to see you!”
Appropriately named, this ‘Sandy’ is a Berry Punch recolor, if you can call sand a color. Her warm looking hide is a pleasant sort of dark tan, with hair the color of vanilla custard. Well, not quite a recolor, I mean. Ponies are a lot different when you get a good look at them. Her mane falls in bubbly curls I would expect to see on the head of Berry Punch, but her face is slimmer, and her shoulders wider than the grape colored pony I remember from the show. I see no wings or horn, though technically I suppose the tool apron she’s wearing could be covering up wings. It hangs on either side of her barrel like a saddlebag, except with hammers and screwdrivers attached to it in straps and many little pouches.
“You’ve been the talk of the town,” Sandy declares in a slightly accusing tone, lightly jabbing Rarity with a hoof in the whithers, “So don’t be surprised if anypony asks for you. Did you find all the missing foals?”
“We certainly did, although it was far from a simple matter,” Rarity says huffily. As much as I want to comment on this, I’m kind of weirded out by Sandy just walking right up to us. I figure it’s rude to talk to ponies who are talking about you anyway. Especially when they’re talking about you getting in trouble. Especially ones who I have no clue whether they are oh god she’s looking at me.
“Getting a little ride there, Sweetie?” Sandy says to me with an ingratiating smile. I think I’m smiling back. That’s when the face muscles do the moving, right? I should say something. I have no idea what to say. Why is she looking at me? No, I can’t ask her that!
“I would love to stay and chat,” Rarity says starting to walk again, “But Sweetie Belle here has an urgent appointment to attend to, so if you’ll excuse me.”
“No problem, Rarity!” Sandy calls out, waving a hoof as she continues on a three legged gait in the other direction, “We’ll have to catch up sometime. You haven’t been in town in days!”
“Will do, darling!” Rarity calls out over her shoulder. She picks up the pace then, cantering along at a steady clip. “Sorry about that,” she says over her shoulder to me more reservedly, on her way to the hospital, “This must all be terribly embarassing for you.”
“No I just,” I pause fidgeting on her back, “I just didn’t know what to say, that’s all,” I inform her finally, feeling a little dumb for saying that. I just felt so worried at saying something at all.
“Do you remember that mare?” Rarity asks hopefully. In my silence of trying to come up with a non-disappointing answer, Rarity turns her head forward and continues with, “Her name is Sandy Fritters. She was one of the ponies who helped build my boutique! Possibly the most helpful, that mare is a master craftspony when it comes to woodworking.”
“I do my best to keep up with ponies like her,” Rarity adds, less in a lecturing tone and more in a whimsical chatter. “It’s certainly hard to top such a marvelous gift, as that of a storefront that speaks my creative urges to the ponies at large!” she says enthusiastically, her face still turned away as she trots down the dirt road with me on her back, “...but I manage to give back a little, here and there.”
“But, didn’t you save the world?” I ask, regretting asking as soon as I do. I don’t want to embarass her or anything. I mean, I’m not trying to be argumentative. Did I say something wrong? The hospital building already looms before us in the misty morning, as I add in a hopefully encouraging tone, “That has to count for something!”
Rarity smiles at that. Wait, hold on. She’s not looking at me though. I can’t see her face, so how do I know she’s smiling? Something about the ...ears? Can I read ears now? Rarity just looks ...more smiley than she did a second ago.
“Just once, dear,” she says in a jovial tone. “The funny thing about saving the world is, doing so doesn’t inconvenience you in the slightest, because it’s your world you’re saving too!”
Her ears dip just slightly, as Rarity continues, somewhat dismissively, “I dare say there isn’t a pony in Equestria who wouldn’t save the world, if they were given the opportunity to do so,” Maybe a little guiltily? I start to laugh, but then I sort of feel bad, like I should ask her what’s wrong. It’s that half laugh when you think it was a joke, but it dies in your chest because something’s rubbing you wrong about the situation. There’s nothing wrong though, is there?
Not sure whether I should presume something or not, I remain silent as we pass through the hospital doors, thinking quietly about what Rarity just said.
“Wait, once?” I squeal out abruptly, covering my mouth with a hoof when it comes out so... loudly.
“It’s not important, dear,” Rarity says in a tone that is not to be questioned. No fuck that, I’m questioning–
“Can ah help you?” the nurse/receptionist says to Rarity before I can protest anything.
“Yes, we have an appointment with the doctor Ace,” Rarity answers smoothly, barely even pausing by the reception desk that the nurse is leaning over.
“He’s in the exercise room already,” said nurse qualifies in her unflatteringly rusty voice, “You wanna just go back?”
“Thank you,” Rarity smiles, “That would be lovely, darling.”
“What about–” I say, but Rarity says,
“Which way was it again?”
The nurse points her hoof down the hall, the way we went yesterday, saying, “End of the hallway, take a right. Big double doors on your left.”
Rarity starts to trot down that way, and I ask her, “When did–”
“It will be nice to see the therapist again, won’t it?” Rarity asks on top of me. “He was such a lovely fellow.”
“...yeah... lovely...”
In a similar manner, Rarity easily dodges any questions, and by the time we’re headed towards the back I’ve since thought better of asking them. What would Rarity think, if her sister started demanding all this stuff that hadn’t happened yet? I never did figure out how far into the show this was. Everyone knows about the first time Rarity saved the world. What was the second though? Had to be a season finale. Crystal Empire maybe? That was all Twilight though. And Spike, heh.
Now that I think on it, I don’t recall seeing Spike with Twilight at all since coming here, neither at the excavation nor the library. I wonder where he is? Meh, with my luck this is some bizarre alternate storyline where dragons are considered a fine delicacy and Twilight passed her magic exam by skillfully serving up some fried eggs. This world is so uncannily like the show, it’s easy to make assumptions about it that might turn out not to be true at all.
I guess Nightmareity sort of counted as saving the world. Though it was more like saving the world from her. Well crap buckets I hope she isn’t going to get abducted to the moon any time soon. Not that I don’t think Rarity could kick the Nightmare’s ass with her positive attitude here, but I would really hate to be trapped in the IDW comics canon. Princess Celestia would have a boyfriend. shudders.
Rarity takes me directly to the uh, exercise room, I’m going to be calling it. I must have missed when the receptionist told us to go there. And of course, there in the very same place is that insufferably cheerfully gorgeous athlete, sometimes referred to as Dr. Ace by little girls who aren’t complete idiots. He’s setting up a number of what look like various kinds of discs or plates. He looks up when Rarity approaches and starts to open his mouth, but then glances at me and remains silent. It makes me feel just terrible; he doesn’t deserve me acting like this.
“So good to see you again, doctor,” Rarity says warmly on approach, making me stiffen a bit suspiciously. Is she going to start flirting with him again?! Of course he’s looking right at her, so warmly and relievedly.
“It’s my pleasure, miss!” Ace says with that relieved look in his eyes. Then, he turns away from Rarity’s face to me, saying, “Good to see you again too, lil’ Sweetie.” He’s looking at me this is terrible—stupid face, stop blushing—why did I ever want him to stop looking at Rarity?!
“I do hope you’ve an idea how to help the poor girl,” Rarity says in a slightly wavery tone, “My sister could hardly finish a solid meal last night!”
“Problems... chewing?” he asks with a puzzled expression, rubbing at his chin.
“Problems picking things up,” Rarity clarifies. “Nosing and such.”
“Well don’t worry miss Rarity,” Dr. Ace says heartily, “I’m confident we can have lil’ Sweetie picking things up by the end of the day!”
“What?” I utter in surprise. I blush then and shrink down on Rarity’s back mumbling, “It just seems kind of... fast...”
“We’re not gonna rush you Sweetie Belle,” Dr. Ace says with a frank smile, “It’s just you’re already almost there. If you think that you’re gonna take a long time to get better, you’re going to surprise yourself I think!” I try to shrink even further away when he taps a hoof on my pastern, saying in a joking manner, “It’s not like you have to grow your legs back or anything.”
No, just my brain.
“Tell ya what,” Ace says craftily, “If you’re not engaging by the end of today, I’ll treat you to an ice cream. And if you can engage your pads, you’ll treat me to an ice cream!”
“I don’t have any money...” I mumble reluctantly, not actually knowing if Sweetie Belle does have any money.
“Money?” he responds incredulously with wide eyes, “Don’t worry. It’ll be plenty of a reward if I can get you walking around, so you can help out your fellow ponies again.”
I don’t really respond with more than a half syllable before Rarity responds for me, “That sounds like a marvelous idea! While I’m sure little Sweetie here would appreciate the treat, if you can help her so, then I’m sure she will be most appreciative, and it would be an honor for me to treat you in Sweetie’s place. I’m sure I could provide you with something sweetly satisfying.”
“Awesome!” Ace cheers with a very comfortable gaze at my sister, and an excited kick of one of his back legs in the air. “To get something like that from a lovely lady like you, it makes me all fired up!” Just who does he think he– my stomach sinks abruptly when Rarity drops below me to sit upon her belly.
“Time to get off, dear,” she says quietly to me. I blink, then hastily comply, trying not to tumble too hard, when my hooves inevitably slide out from under me. It’s honestly getting pretty predictable at this point. Wait, I was concerned about something, wasn’t I? Must have slipped my mind. Maybe it was that I’ve got to spend another morning, this morning, denying my urges in the worst of situations.
I struggle unsteadily to my toes, to watch her leave. “See you this afternoon, darling!” Rarity calls out on her way out of the exercise room. I’m not sure if she’s talking to me, or Ace, and I honestly feel myself torn as to whom I would prefer.
“Alright lil’ Sweetie,” Dr. Ace says in an ominous tone, drawing my attention and dread. “We’re gonna have to get over the hard part, first off. I need you to put your hoof on mine.”
I think I’ve seen this one before. What’s the next panel, making eye contact right? Then I think, saying you love her, and then getting married and she always loves the idea. He’s holding his hoof out in front of me, and it’s stupid that the reason I don’t want to touch it, is because I do want to touch it. I tell myself I’m not going to repeat yesterday, and that I can do this without having urges, because it’s just a hoof. I can do this without enjoying it, can’t I? Just have to think about Granny Smith naked on a cold day.
I very reluctantly lift a hoof. Avoiding setting myself off by looking at him, I gingerly lay that hoof on his outstretched pastern. It’s... warm. Even after all this, after I’ve come to know how every inch of Sweetie Belle’s skin feels to be touched, it’s still weird to see my hoof set down, and feel a warmth radiate up into me from it. I barely touch down on his cream colored pastern, starting to feel the fuzzy softness of his fur, when inside my pelvis– I yank my hoof away. Did my insides just twinge? I think they did! It was like– like that stupid thing I was doing last night, that I should never have done. It was, wasn’t it? I didn’t– it was too fast to tell. Was that my uterus just now? Oh god I have a uterus.
I don’t want my insides to twinge, because that’s what your body feels like when it is preparing for sex, whether you like it or not. You don’t even have to be aware of it! And if you let it continue, and don’t get any release, or can’t get any release because you never manage to fucking masturbate, it just starts feeling better and better, and making you more relaxed and easy and comfortable around guys.
And pretty soon you just start to feel like having something in there would be really nice, and you can’t imagine anything going wrong with that at all. And then you’re begging him to put it in, and spreading to entice him, ignoring the consequences and heedlessly abusing your dignity, just because you want something in there so... very badly.
Okay, woah, yeah that... definitely was a... twinge. I wasn’t sure about the first one, but that second one? My uh... my belly is starting to feel flushed.
“I’m not going anywhere, Sweetie,” the doctor says seriously, snapping me out of my inward reflection. Does it count as inward reflection, when you’re reflecting on what’s inside your crotch, as opposed your inner self? I look up at him– oops, no. I am not looking at his face. Not when I’m about to start getting wet down there or... something.
Can’t I have any shorts? Or would that make it even more obvious? I tense under his gaze, trying not to let myself slip into feeling more receptive to having sex with him. I know the biological imperative of being female around an attractive male is undeniable, and yet... it actually sort of works? I’m not getting any worse, at least. I feel anxious as heck, but nothing else um... moves, down below my tail.
I don’t know how long I stand there, but eventually I just start feeling stupid for not doing anything, and a bit bored. I firm my lower lip, and reach out again, forcing myself to touch his pastern. He remains silent, and I just sort of... stroke my hoof along the downy hairs on his own hoof. While much larger than mine, it is definitely what you’d call a hoof. His fur gets shorter towards the hoof itself, and the nail of it is dull and rough, the same color as the fur. It’s just like ...mine. My candy white hoof nail emerging from my candy white fur.
I tap my hoof against his curiously, not sure what I’m expecting besides the slight click it makes. It’s more noisy than anything, I can’t really feel it when I do. I place my hoof down then, an ear twitching at the odd sensation of my tail tilting automatically, as my weight comes down on all fours. Looking up at him I ask, “Is... that good?”
Then my eyes widen, and I hurriedly look away. Thankfully I’m quick enough that nothing happens...below the belt, at least. I still feel that curious longing to gaze at him. I wonder if it’s just that the ponies are so much more beautiful than the show could ever draw them? I haven’t been gazing at mares though, so that can’t be it. I think he looks beautiful, but that’s not real beauty. It’s just my reaction to being a girl, and having urges to do things that will make me more receptive to getting porked. With these new instincts, I’d probably feel like gazing fondly at an apple cart, if it had a dildo strapped to it. Or something like that.
I still think he looks amazing.
“You feeling a little calmer now?” Ace asks. I mumble something to the affirmative. Even if I don’t want to admit it, I am getting comfortable around him. He isn’t letting me suppress my natural sexual response, so at this rate it’s only a matter of time before I’m trying to get in his shorts.
“Alright, now touch the underside of my hoof this time,” Ace says, straightening out his foreleg pointed at me. “I won’t grab you, I just want you to get used to feeling it.”
I reach out to touch it, and I hesitate, but only because I’m surprised that I moved so quickly this time. But I continue to reach forward, and I touch his hoof to mine with another click. True to his word, he just lets me nudge around there, not grabbing me or pulling on me at all. The nail is hard as expected, but the frog or, ‘pad’ of his hoof is really thick and peculiar feeling. Not that I can feel anything especially well, with my own hoof’s nail, but the way it depresses his flesh softly yet firmly, it sort of feels like... it’s like poking a super ball with a spoon? Kind of rubbery. It felt a lot softer before, when we were... holding hooves...
“There that’s not so bad, is it?” Dr. Ace says in a cheerful yet leading tone.
“It’s just a hoof it’s no big deal,” I mutter distractedly.
“And look at yourself now,” he insists, pushing back against my hoof with a slight pressure, “You’re holding hooves with a real live doctor, and nothing terrible has happened.”
“Huh, a doctor?” I actually look up at that.
“I might not look like it,” he chuckles, “But I’m a real live doctor. It’s my job to make ponies better who aren’t feeling good. And there’s nothing scary about doctors. I’m just another ordinary pony, with just ordinary hooves like anypony else.”
“Why would there be anything scary about doctors?” I ask a bit abrasively. He’s certainly not making much sense, with whatever he’s talking about. It occurs to me that this is the longest I’ve actually managed to keep eye contact. For some reason this feeling of frustration makes him a lot less intimidating.
I look away as soon as I realize it though, just in case it’s more of that female sex response. Like uh, maybe it’s like how girls get all tsundere, to keep from being too shy around their love interest. Except in reality, not Japan. But yeah I don’t want to feel more comfortable around someone, if that’s just going to end up with me shoved up against the wall with a hot sausage stuffed in me.
The well toned doctor is giving me a curious look, I’m pretty sure, but he lets my hoof go. I didn’t even realize he had ‘grabbed’ onto it, in fact. It even might have been a mistake on his part, because it barely held onto me. But he doesn’t grab me stronger. Instead, he presses his hoof strongly down on a slim disc lying on the floor at the edge of my vision. It’s one of those discs he brought along. It’s sort of like a drink coaster I guess, but stuck to his hoof. It comes up with his hoof when he lifts it up into the air.
He holds it out to me and says, “Okay I want you to put the flat of your hoof on this little circle here. You’ll feel me grabbing you, but it’s okay I’m just trying to get a feel for what’s going on in your hooves.”
Well, I probably could tell him that I feel a lot more comfortable about touching a drink coaster, than I do about touching his hoofy manflesh, but... there really isn’t a diplomatic way to say that, so I just silently push my hoof up against the coaster in his hoof, as he instructed. It doesn’t feel like anything at first, but then a slight backwards movement reveals that I really am stuck to it.
My face flushes, as I again feel caught by his hoof, totally under his power, but I manage to not struggle against him. I just try to focus on the hoof and calm down, and think about things scientificallyish. It makes sense that he can still hold my hoof, even with the coaster in the way, because if he can hold a coaster without gripping it, why not hold something he’s not even touching at all? Some kind of telekinesis maybe?
“How are you holding my hoof with that in the way?” I ask meekly, looking at it with puzzlement, completely unable to see any way it’s connecting us together. Even though it is. It’s like we’re falling towards it, but only on our hoof. It feels kind of like standing, except my hoof is sideways to the ground.
“Y’feel that?” he says chirpily, “That’s the grip response. Ponies developed that a long time ago, as a way to navigate the difficult terrain of our home. Feels kind of like I’m pulling on your hoof, huh?”
I can feel when his hoof stops... doing whatever it’s doing. It’s like something was flowing into mine, that I couldn’t even feel until he stopped doing it, and pulled his hoof back. I can see he’s trying to leave the coaster in the grip of my hoof, but it just clatters to the floor between us. Supposedly my hooves can do that too, but I’m just not feeling it. What was he doing, even?
He doesn’t falter in the slightest when it just falls off my hoof. Of course he expected it to happen, since I haven’t figured out hooves yet. Yet I can’t help but feel a bit disappointed, looking down at it lying on the floor between my hooves.
“It’s easy to hold things with your hooves,” Ace explains, picking up another coaster. “Easier than easy, in fact, because it’s not even positive energy! The key is not to think of it like effort, but like you’re giving up effort. You just have to exert a little bit of negative force, and I guarantee you’ll have got yourself a hoof grip.”
Negative energy? Right, magic then. Got it. At least his non-tactile explanation is helping me relax, from my heady blush at the experience of touching him. It’s just, if I’m touching a stallion’s hooves, it would be as easy for me to feel as the rest of him, and then all I have to do is touch below the belt and... whoo... no, okay I’ve got to calm down.
“So how do I... do it?” I ask unconfidently, and a bit turgidly.
“You were just doing it!” he says, pointing at the hoof he ...grabbed for lack of a better word. Surprised, I look at it cluelessly. “When I’m pulling on your hoof,” he explains, “It’s only natural for yours to pull back a little. Think of it like a... like a hoof hook, here.”
Then he takes my hoof in his before I can so much as gasp, hooking it in his hoof and pulling me forward just enough to produce tension. “See?” he says as if in explanation. “My hoof is pulling, albeit with positive energy, but your hoof is pulling too. Otherwise you couldn’t keep it hooked on mine. Using your pad is just like that, but the opposite sort of pulling.”
I’m too busy blushing to answer. He feels steady as a rock. He is so strong.
He releases my hoof as continually flustered by him I try vainly to collect my wits. Thankfully he is just explaining stuff, which gives me time to calm down again. “It’s like that one nursery rhyme,” he says.
abc-ish syntax... accent, pitch, octave, duration I should post the code in a blog, or... something.
c c c/ c
Jack and Jenny
c/ d d d/ d
Did not have any
d/ e e e e f7/2
To fetch their bale of hay.
f/ g g g
So Jack, he pushed
g a/ a3/2 a
While Jenny pushed
a/a/ b/ b3/2 b b/ c’7/2
In a pully sort of way.
b | [c’e’g’] d’ e’ c’ f’ a’2 a’ g’ g’ e’ c’ d’4
“Were Jack and Jenny donkeys?” I ask open mouthed, “I can’t believe that’s a rhyme.”
c d e c f a2 a g a b g c'4
“Just as they did, Sweetie,” he answers confidently, “You’ll get it in no time!”
twinkly background music
g’ | a’ a’ a’ a’ g’ g’ e’2 d’ e’ f’ a’ g’3
“I’m all so very new to this,” I sigh melodically, looking at my hooves, “More than I can say...”
d | e/ e/ e e e f3 d f f f f g3
He messes up my hair with a hoof, scrumpling it all up before I can even look up from the floor. “Don’t worry your little head,” he sings, “I know you’ll find a way!
g’ | c’’ g’ g’ a’ g’3 e’ f’ e’ d’ d’ a’ f’ g’
“How do I save myself?” I sing to myself thoughtfully, “How do I walk? How do I read?” I shake my head, those weird curls reasserting themselves uncannily.
g’ | c’’ g’ a’ g’ e’3 e’ f’ e’ d’ c’ a4
“It seems so far away,” I sing to him mournfully, “There’s so much more I need.”
d d d c f a/ g2 e/ f g a f d e f
“Don’t be too hard on yourself,” he asserts, “You have to crawl before you climb.”
f | e/ e3/2 e e/ g3/2 e c A G A B G c4
“You’ll always work it out, if you do one thing at a time!”
“One thing at a time?” I say, while the tinkling music in the background fritters around, “That’s your advice?”
He just smiles and picks up a coaster on his hoof.
f, g, a, f, g,3 a, | f, g, a, f, g,4 | f, a, g, f, g, a, b, g, _a, _b, c _a, _b, c d3 c | b, a, g, e, a,4
“You might be surprised. Why not give it a try?” he sings warmly, holding it out for me. I sigh, and press my hoof against it, once again feeling his ghostly grip trap my hoof, through the thin coaster’s walls. “Hold on this, and then you’ll see,” he continues, “That all the things that made you cry, come easier naturally.”
b | c’ d’ e’ c’ f’ a’2 a’ | g’ g’ e’ c’ d’4
“My hoof just feels funny,” I sing grumpily, pulling back against his weird magic hoof. “I don’t know what it means.” He releases me and moves to pick up a thicker disc in his hoof.
c d e c f a2 a | b b b a g4
“How ‘bout this one, Sweetie?” he suggests holding it up. “You almost have the means!”
b’b’b’g’a’c’’2c’’|b’ a’ g’ e’ a’ b’ c’’2
“All I feel is you in there!” I protest, feeling so frustrated with this. “Your magic hooves that I have not.”
c c c g, a,2 b, a, g, a, b, g, c8
“Try another disc,” he says, sliding a second one in between us. “We’ll see what your hooves have got.” But adding more discs just makes his ghostly pulling feeling weaker, and still nothing in mine. I sigh with frustration, looking at the stack of discs in between us and trying to feel his influence despite the attenuation. And of course he’s got this optimistic grin on his face. His gorgeous yet smarmy face. It’s like he can’t even see that I’m not getting this.
a’ | b’/ a’3/2 g’2
“What’s funny now?” I sing unhappily. It’s not so much that misery loves company, but it absolutely makes you hate cheerful people.
f a6 a a g3/4 f5/4 e5
“Funny?” he responds in an innocent tone, with a full on shrug, “Can’t imagine how.” Wait, how is he shrugging if he’s holding my...
A startled squeal escapes me, as the disc slips off my hoof and clatters to the floor. I stare at that little white hoof fixedly, not even letting it drop down from sticking out in front of me. That can’t be how you do it, because I wasn’t even doing anything! I was just trying to feel him doing it, and...
f e d c d3 f a4 b4 [c’8ceg]4
He’s holding up a thinner disc in his hoof again, singing, “Let us try again, just one more time.” But the way he sings, it sounds a lot more conclusive than from someone who isn’t absolutely sure of what the outcome is going to be. I can’t believe he tricked me into... okay, I’m calm. As the refrain winds down, I place my hoof on his disc and once again feel that weird falling magnet sort of feel. I try tugging back on it, but that’s just at my shoulder. But again he moves onto the thicker disc, and starts increasing the space in between us.
“I think I get it,” I say eventually, fascinated despite myself. “It doesn’t stay on if I pull, but it does if I try to feel you pulling.”
“The more you push forward, feeling out for me,” Ace says in a explanatory tone, “The more you push. And the more you pull push, the more it pulls back!”
I was never a big fan of magibabble, but this sort of... makes sense? It’s not like saying the zimmydoodle needs to whirligig the perambulator. It’s more like something... self evident, I guess. Looking at my hoof again I can almost imagine what he’s talking about. Pull pushing? It’s conflicting terribly confusingly with my old memories, of what he was doing being not only impossible, but logically contradictory. Yet somehow... it sort of feels... right.
“Let’s try again,” I say, wobbling as I risk lifting both forehooves.
“That’s the spirit!” he says energetically,holding up another disc. I’d like to say we make huge progress into the afternoon, but really this is huge progress. Once I figure out how to push into whatever it is I’m bracing against, I almost want to cry with how easy it is. Because even then, you don’t have to only use the magic at the tips of your fingers. You can still hook them around, and augment that, and even use your teeth. It’s such a subtle and profound advantage, it doesn’t seem like much, but it’s exactly what he promised and
Oh shit I just set up Rarity on a date, didn’t I.
The last thing we get to is when he hauls out a punching bag (kicking bag?) but instead of punching it, he has me wrap my hooves around and try to shimmy up it. It’s both trickier and easier than most things we’ve been doing, because I can hook both... all four hooves around it, and use the pull pushing to stay locked against it. But I really have to concentrate, or I can’t pull my hoof away, or else maybe I start to slide down when they all release. I don’t make it all the way to the top, but I can’t help but give a little excited squeakcheer when one of my hooves manages to come down atop the thing. I just climbed 2 feet straight up!
...at least it feels like an accomplishment to me. Come on, I’m not even two feet high!
“Splendid, darling! Simply splendid!” Rarity exclaims behind me, making me jerk back in surprise, which of course causes me to slip right off the sand filled, plush column, falling backwards with a sudden jolt of vertigo, before landing painfully on my– Ace catches me in his arms. He’s holding me in his arms! A rush of warmth floods through me, as I feel him all around me cradling me firmly, my naked body prostrate before him. I can’t even breathe it’s so–
He gently places me down on the ground, then spins to face Rarity saying, “Thanks my little pony!” (yes he actually says that.) “Lil’ Sweetie and I here have had a very productive day.”
“I can see that,” Rarity says as I lay there in a stupor, not quite comprehending how he isn’t ravishing my young nubile body right on the spot. Nothing happened? I’m just sitting here. He, he was just catching me to put me down. It feels completely normal, not sexually charged at all. But it was so romantic! Wasn’t it? I was totally asking for it.
“Sweetie’s hoof-grip is better then? How is she doing?” Rarity queries hopefully, pastern rubbing her chin.
“I’ll let you be the judge of that!” Dr. Ace declares, walking over across the area and kicking several of those wooden blocks to slide to a precise stop before my planted hooves. I stare at them uncomprehendingly, having been too wrapped up in myself to pay attention to what anypony else has been saying. “Come on, just like we practiced,” Ace prompts me.
“Oh. Oh!” I double declare. I take a nervous glance at Rarity who’s got something of a cross between a wince and a smile. It’s okay though, I totally got this. Just like we practiced, as if it was one of the disks, I pick out a flat rectangular block and place my hoof on it, pushing it... pushing into it? Doing the thing that makes negative energy somehow. Magic! Ancient aliens! Nanomachines! I pick up a block.
When my little hoof lifts up with the red painted block clearly stuck to it, Rarity gives an excited noise, like a cross between a squeal and a giggle. A squiggle, if you will. “I do believe I owe you a treat then,” she says excitedly to Dr. Ace. “This is such a relief I can’t thank you enough. Isn’t this wonderful, Sweetie?”
I feel like she shouldn’t be the one getting all excited about being able to pick things up without opposable thumbs. “It’s a relief!” I agree at least. Placing the block back down atop the others I add, “I hope I won’t be as much trouble this way. That way maybe I can...”
Okay, deep breaths. I was going to tell her right after the therapy session, and I’m going to do just that. “That way maybe I can...” I repeat shakily, “...stay.”
“Stay?” Rarity gives me an owlish look. The light of realization dawns in her eyes and she nervously laughs, “Oh-h-h Sweetie you remembered! But don’t worry all that is past us now, and I have forgiven you, if you can only forgive me.”
What? That... what? Past us? How is taking over Sweetie Belle’s body past us? She forgave me? She knows? What was I supposed to remember? I have no idea what the fuzzbuckets she’s talking about! At my uncomprehending stare, Rarity continues tittering nervously,
“You are always, always welcome to live with me Sweetie Belle. I may not be mother, but you can still count on me to afford you every opportunity in your young life. Just as you can count on having a warm bed to sleep in when you return home, too.”
“But... I’m not... you know...” I gesture helplessly.
“You are the best sister I could possibly ask for, Sweetie Belle,” Rarity insists warmly, with a hoof on my chest. “I’m so sorry I ever led you to doubt that.”
I look at her hoof on my chest, then up its length to her sincere face. Is she...?
“I hate to interrupt, but I’ve got another patient coming in after lunch,” Ace cuts in.
“I’m terribly sorry!” Rarity exclaims to him, looking up from me and pulling her hoof away. “We’ll be off shortly, but after your patient, I hope you will be free for perhaps a bit of something sweet?”
uh
“I would love that, lady Rarity!” he says cheerfully, “I don’t suppose you know of a good place?”
“Well just off the top of my head,” Rarity says waving a casual hoof, “There is a lovely gelato that opened recently in the northern district which I have been meaning to try. Would you care to meet me there perhaps at three?”
“I’ll be there, lady,” he nods. “Now get your lil’ Sweetie here off to have some lunch. She’s been working up a real big appetite!”
“Oh, is she walking yet?” Rarity asks him tentatively.
“I could try to walk?” I offer. I mean, there’s nothing left to stop me from doing it, right? How hard could it be?
“Save it for tomorrow, maybe...” Ace says sheepishly, then more assertively, “Or don’t! If you can remember how to walk without me, well that just makes my job one pony easier!”
It’s so much easier to climb to my feet when it doesn’t feel like my back legs are going to slip out from under me. I’m definitely not walking though. For one thing, it’s hard to coordinate which of four hooves is um... grabbing the ground. Huh, this is sort of like that grounding and centering thing, except on a much smaller scale. But for various reasons, I smile guiltily and say, “Guess I need you to carry me, just a little bit more.”
And wouldn’t you know, this time Rarity has come prepared, with a saddle blanket.
On our way out of the hospital all cuddle-draped over the satiny sheet on Rarity’s back, I have some time to think about what just happened. And there is a lot to reflect on, so, I keep confusing Rarity, with little outbursts like, “Wait, was I singing?!” and “Did you ask him out?!” Rarity answers this curious bird as tactfully as she can, but it’s clear she doesn’t understand precisely where I’m coming from. Apparantly it’s a normal thing for mares to ask stallions out on a date. Reversed sex roles?
What I’m really thinking about the most is Ace. No not about his toned body, or friendly smile, or the sweat trickling off his... okay maybe a little of that. But what’s really bugging me is how easily he put me off my one track mind. When we got into it, I just stopped thinking about the fact that we were different sexes at all, and by the end of the day I was more concerned with climbing, than whether my equipment could handle the flesh pole concealed beneath his shorts. Of course I’m thinking about that now, and said equipment is feeling a little too lively with that thought, but at the time, Dr. Ace managed to make it all about just two ponies having fun together.
And that was kind of... nice.
I end up eating what appears to be a cucumber and lettuce sandwich on oat bread. Rarity laughs despite herself when I try to pick it up, because when I try to take advantage of my newfound mystical abilities, I just get the one slice of bread, and the sandwich falls apart below it on the plate. I end up getting the sandwich wrapped in my hooves eventually, not even hook hooved, but it makes a bit of a mess. I have to sit there afterwards sticking my face into the plate, trying not to push it around as I tongue at the slippery cucumbers, while also trying to think of what to say to Rarity about... the real Sweetie Belle.
I should tell her, but, I mean I did kind of try to tell her. I said I wanted to stay, at least. She didn’t... seem to... there was a miscommunication there. I sure should have cleared it up with some fancy and confident rhetoric. But instead I just sit there eating cucumbers with my face, and they’re the best cucumbers I’ve ever eaten in my life. I don’t want to say they taste like candy but, they kind of do. Is there some sort of sweet sauce?
“Rarity, I’m...” I announce finally to my empty plate, with no recourse to distract me. A mysterious voice from beyond the plate, sounding uncannily like that of a mature white unicorn with a blurple mane says, “Is something the matter, Sweetie?”
“How would you feel if I um... went away?” I ask, my shoulders tensing.
“You know how upset I was,” Rarity states unapprovingly, “You can’t just run off just because that foundling friend of yours has a fool idea in her head.”
“No, I mean, like if you couldn’t... wait, foundling friend?” I look up from my plate at her. She’s talking about Scootaloo I guess, but um... isn’t foundling like... what does that word mean? Something about ducklings? Darn it I’m supposed to be a dictionary!
“Yes Scootaloo is a foundling,” Rarity says soberly, “It might be wise of you not to mention that you’ve forgotten it.”
“I kind of... forget what a foundling is,” I tell her glancing uncertainly to the left.
Rarity pauses too long for my taste before saying, “A foundling is... well, sometimes ponies will foal who are not... fit for raising them. Scootaloo was removed from her ...situation at a young age, and placed in village care.”
“What’s village care?” I ask cluelessly looking into her limpid blue eyes once again.
Those eyes twist at me wryly as she raises an eyebrow, saying, “Seriously Sweetie, these are questions you should best be asking at the library. I’m not the best source for all the knowledge in Equestria. Village care is... what it says?”
Oh right, the library.
I sigh and it shudders in my chest, forcing myself to say, “Rarity, I’m not...”
“Not...” she eventually prompts, uneasily.
I take a deep, calming breath, and say, “I’m not...” silent houses “I really want to go see my friends,” I say quickly, fighting back tears in my eyes. “To... show them all the cool stuff I um, remembered!” Yeah that works. She’ll totally believe that. I should tell her. But what if... but what if?!
“That’s splendid timing,” Rarity says happily, “If you and your friends can play together this afternoon, that will free up time for my date with the good doctor!”
“Date?!” I blurt out suddenly, to be responded with by Rarity giggling to herself giddily. “Aren’t you taking things a little fast?” I mumble out desperately.
“Now dear, there is nothing wrong with spending an afternoon to show a stallion a good time,” Rarity says snippily. “You’ll understand one of these days, but sometimes ponies just... like to have a little fun together!”
Show a stallion a.......help
Augghh this chapter was so horrible! I spent way too much time on that song. And it got too long again! But what do I cut out? The pivotal moment of learning your first bit of magic it’s all just so juicy and tender!
