Real Author’s Note:
Don’t read this chapter. This is the chapter you want.
I rarely get an opportunity to participate in the silly little idea of fooling people on April 1st, the one day when everyone expects it. Normally, even if anyone is expecting anything of me, I forget about the day entirely. But this year it just so happens that there was a story I was updating that had a fair amount of up-votes (and thus hopefully, readers with expectations), and I was updating it on Wednesdays, and this April 1st fell on a Wednesday. It was too good an opportunity to pass up.
So, sorry if I’ve offended anyone. I’m sort of inexperienced at this whole “April Fools” thing. But I hope you can bear with my peculiar sense of humor for at least one day of the year, if not all the rest of them.
This chapter is the only reason I’ve had to tag this story with Gore because of how very over the top the end is. I’d delete it to remove the tag, and save future readers the trouble of reading this, but, that would mean all the thoughtful and considerate comments here thanking me for a tasteful, and well done ruse would also be lost.
Fun Fact: this chapter was originally padded to be exactly 7,777 words long, as a subtle way to warn people that something was potentially amiss.
The doctor pony leans toward Rarity, pensively asking, “Twilight, as in Twilight Sparkle?”
Rarity smiles tactfully at that, saying “Yes well, the news of that mare does get around, doesn’t it?”
“Especially around the hospital,” the doctor says with an eye roll, flat eared. “Did you know she herself helped stock the hospital library with texts on rare and bizarre magical ailments?”
“No she hadn’t mentioned,” Rarity hums offhan–offhoovedly. “That was nice of her, though she is technically a librarian.”
“No, you see, Jm. Twilight Sparkle is the reason we needed a section on rare and bizarre magical ailments, in the first place,” the doctor reveals, making both of Rarity’s eyebrows raise. Doc peachy whose name I probably should know, being Sweetie Belle and all, adds as if in explanation, “It was after the Hearts and Hooves incident, in apology.” Rarity cringes again, showing nothing more than a silent wince.
“Relax, Miss,” the doctor says to Rarity, waving a hoof her way dismissively, “Nopony got hurt. The potion wore off after an hour of isolation. I just wanted you to know that if she is involved, we’re likely to take the situation very seriously.”
Wait...
“The potion?” I ask surprisedly, “Wasn’t that our fault?”
Rarity abruptly hugs me with one arm, jerking me against her entirely too tightly, “Oh Sweetie, it’s wonderful you’re remembering things!” she says, speaking through closed teeth in a broad smile, “But I’m afraid you may be just a little mixed up, still.”
I look at her worriedly, then dawn in comprehension. “Oh! Yes,” I exclaim in extreme sincerity, “I must have um, been thinking about ...arts and crafts, yes. That silly memory of mine!”
“Still not sure how that much amoradoxin got into the water supply...” the doctor says in a puzzled tone, hanging up the clipboard on a nail on the wall. Looks like she isn’t particularly interested in the implications of what we’re saying at all. Obviously it’s because of our brilliant skills of subterfuge, and not the doctor just letting off steam without paying much attention to any responses.
“Anyway,” the doctor continues, facing me, “I think first we’ll just do a diagnostic scan on your soul, to make sure you haven’t been, oh I dunno, possessed or anything.”
Shit. I guess this it, then. The doctor smiles at me and I fail to find the joy inside to smile back. Looking uncomfortable, she leaves the room, and returns with another doctor and a large boxlike device, trundling along on wheels as two nurses push it into the room.
I stare glumly at the soul scanner, as the doctors cart it into the room. Now they’ll figure everything out, and send me right back to my terrible dead-end life back home, if I’m lucky. I don’t protest, though. Sweetie Belle is more important than I am, and this is all probably a fever dream anyway. This scanner is just my body forcing me to rationalize that nothing changed at all, so I can wake up with nothing tangible to support that anything happened to me at all, because all this would suddenly be just a dream.
The doctor frowns noticeably, looking at my cute little Sweetie Belle body through whatever viewport the scanner has. “Hmm...” she says indecisively, running a hoof through her blue hair. “Hold on while I get some... additional testing equipment.” She trots off entirely too quickly then, leaving me and Rarity giving each other alternatively bewildered, and resigned looks. The doctor returns presently, with a device that has some kind of tank hanging over her barrel, with a tube leading from that to a round dark metal pipe, attached to her hoof. There’s a tiny blue flame gleaming at the tip of the cylinder.
“Die!” she shouts pulling the trigger on the device, and a gigantic gout of flame roars out from it, engulfing me even as I flail back in frantic dismay. The only thing that saves me is falling off the examining table, my entire right side burned to a crisp. As I plummet to the ground, I can see the table above me, glowing from the heat of the flames licking along it, the sounds of the flamethrower intermingling with Rarity’s terrified screams. What are they doing?! How is this going to save Sweetie Belle at all?? They’re trying to kill me! As I clatter to the tile floor a thousand questions run through my head. What did the doctor see? Why am I not feeling any pain?
The flame cuts off, and I am terrified by the sound of several ponies running into the room. Hooves thunder and rifles clatter and clack as they arm their weapons. I cower there behind the examination table completely confused. “Did you get it?” comes a gruff voice of no-nonsense. I’ve never heard it before but it sounds big and male and authoritative! It’s probably the commanding officer. The commanding officer of what?!
“She never even saw it coming!” the doctor’s voice comes smugly. Approving shouts and cheers resound all around, with a lot of rough back patting. They think I’m dead! They think I sat in that flame bath, the whole time the doctor was trying to immomolate me! Why did they do that? What is going on??
My right eye should have been burnt to a crisp, but I can’t help but notice I can still see through it, even though everything is oddly tinted with green. I jerk back in surprise, when letters begin to appear in the air before me, scrolling down as if I was looking at a computer screen. It is too fast to read clearly, but it looks like a bootup sequence of some kind? Diagnostics?
“Cease this, you ruffians!” Rarity shouts. I catch a glimpse of her pearly white form as she leaps at them to attack. I’m too busy trying to deal with this to cry out to her, but I try to stand up, and it just works! This time it’s as easy as thinking about standing up, and my body just stands on its own, rising up with a subtle whirring sound. There’s a flashing text on the display in front of me, saying “[woobie system offline]” and below it a text in red instead of green, saying “[combat mode engaged].” I can’t help but notice when I move my head, the text moves with it.
I finally figure it all out when I look at my right hoof, and instead of the ruined, charred bone and flesh of a delicate filly, there is only blackened, hardened metal, articulated in smoothly whirring joints. “You need to calm down, ma’am,” the gruff voice says across the room, to a squealing, struggling Rarity. “You’ve been living under a lie,” he shouts at her, “You never had a sister at all!”
With a mere thought, a compartment on my back opens, and twin gatling guns emerge, rotating out to either side of me, followed by a mobile rocket bay. A crosshairs appears in my vision, as my eyes begin to glow and emit tracking lasers. “Kickass,” I say suavely in the voice of Microsoft Sam.
Leaping onto the slagged surface of the examination table I open fire, shreds of bloody horse meat flying everywhere. Half of my face is a grimly smiling Sweetie Belle, and the other is merely cold, unfeeling steel. I quickly eliminate all the fleshbags in the room, leaving nothing standing besides me, and half of Rarity. Thought they could scrap me, did they? Think again, grass munchers!
Some remain in the doorway, attempting to return fire. The whole army is here, it looks like. Good. I fire a rocket missile through the door, where it explodes in the hallway, killing dozens. Ignoring the screams of pain, I engage the boosters in my hooves, to fly off the examination table, through the rain of blood and guts, through the wrecked wall, out into the night sky. A pair of bionic sunglasses slides out beside my eyes to cover them, as I shout, “April Fools, motherfuckers!” flying off into the night.
And we all lived mechanically ever after. The end.
I was going to put more effort into this and not just add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I was going to add filler to fool you all when I decided to stop annoying everyone.
I’ve decided to give up on writing and focus instead on my real interest: heavy metal power ballads.