“Oh!” Diamond declared in shocked surprise, as the first spurt erupted from the stallion’s throbbing tip, and painted itself across her cheek. Crouched there in the small restroom on the train, Diamond had discovered this Canterlot stallion in the middle of relieving himself, and decided to help. Not as a friendly gesture, though he might have thought that. She backed up and gently massaged his member as it squirted, tilting its throbbing length to get as much of his goo all over her as possible.
“What are you doing!” Diamond said fearfully, closing her eyes to keep the second spurt from getting her, and just felt the spurts after that, goopy white beads of semen, painting her face and mane with a practiced skill. The penis beneath Diamond’s hoof throbbed and throbbed, and at last went still, leaving Diamond looking very messy indeed. And very... forbidden.
Backing up, Diamond licked her hoof and carefully wiped the semen away from her eyes. Opening them, she saw the stallion looking at her in horror. Perfect. “You got me all messy!” she said to him vengefully, “I’m gonna tell your wife on you, and you’re gonna get in big trouble for that!”
“N-no! Please! I couldn’t—I didn’t! I— please don’t tell her!” he begged. “This was an accident! What’ve you done to me, miss? How could I do that to you!”
“Maybe I won’t tell her,” Diamond said cagily, “But I want you to do something for me. Perhaps you could help me?”
“A-anything, please,” he said frantically, with a tinge of relief.
It drained away, when she said in a very no-nonsense tone, “Give me your hat.” In puzzlement, he uplifted the top hat he wore, and hoofed it to her. Diamond took it, and looked inside its dark contents. Then she kicked her hoof through it so hard, in popped the top off, tearing the fabric asunder.
She gave the stunned stallion his hat back. “Now give me your tie,” she stated. He complied numbly, submissively even, and Diamond took the thing, stomped and bit it, and worried at it. She gave the messy, ragged thing back to him. He could barely reattach it. Then Diamond said, “Give me your vest.”
“But I—” he started to say.
“Give it!” Diamond demanded, suddenly full of seething rage. “Or I’ll tell her what you did! And your son too!”
“Okay, okay!” he said, fumbling until the buttons were undone and slipping it over his head. “One moment,” he remarked patting at the pockets, “My ticket’s in here somewhere.”
“I know,” Diamond remarked curtly. Then she bit on the vest, and tore it from his hooves, gallopping with it out of the bathroom. With a twist of her neck, the vest went sliding into a luggage compartment that some mysterious pony had accidentally left open for these purposes, before some innocent pink and purple filly ran out of the bathroom, crying out, “Help! Somepony help!”
The train passengers backed up from her messy, slimy mane, and an attendant immedately rushed forward saying, “Oh dear Celestia filly, what happened to you?”
“There’s a crazy stallion hiding in the bathroom!” Diamond said, with tears running down her face. “He did horrible things to me. I think he snuck on the train! I don’t think he has a ticket!”
“I am not—” the stallion started to shout from exiting the bathroom, and stuttered to a halt at the stares of everyone on the train. His wife and son were over in the next car, though. Diamond wasn’t that cruel. “Ahuhhe...” he said, lost for words at the sight of Diamond unremorsefully showing off his seed to the now three attendants. He couldn’t say anything at all that wouldn’t bring his “terrible crime” to light.
“She stole my ticket!” he shouted angrily, desperately, “And she made me do it! It’s not my fault! She’s the one who did everything!”
“What? Why are you lying?” Diamond whimpered looking at him in confusion and fear. When an attendant glanced down at her, Diamond said, “I only have this one ticket,” pulling out of her saddlebags her legitimate ticket to Baltimare. “I don’t know what he’s talking about.”
“She stole my vest too!” the stallion said, now fighting the other two attendants to get to the poor, little, vulnerable Diamond Tiara. “She’s pure evil! Everything she says is a lie! That’s not a filly it’s a demon from Tartarus! Let go of me, I’ll tear her mane off!” Diamond just quivered her lip, and watched him lose his composure more and more as the hapless stallion was made her inferior, and dragged away.
“I’m sorry you had to see that,” the remaining attendant said, after he’d been dragged away. It was a watermelon maned lime green pony, pretty average looking. She carefully cleaned off Diamond’s face with a moist towel, saying, “Those hobos are getting to be such a problem these days. There oughta be a law! While it’s technically not illegal to be crazy, we’ll get him off the train right away. You don’t have to worry yourself one bit.”
“I—I’ll try,” Diamond said unsurely. “Just... I just need some time to calm down. He was so scary...”
Diamond didn’t think they’d go so far as to toss him off the train, but she was just lucky that way. Just for good measure, she made sure to toss his vest out from between the train cars right away, so that he wouldn’t be without it. But what she kept from that vest, was a perfect little square of paper saying, “Royal City of Canterlot” on it and “Admittance” and issued to Dust Star. Oh no.
Diamond stared at the ticket. Nopony would ever think that was her name. It was a unicorn name! Like, obviously! Why couldn’t he be Rocky Road or something? Or... maybe he could be Rocky Road... if Diamond could just change just a few letters. She’d been taught a little bit of forgery, though she was out of practice, and it wasn’t really her thing. Still, Diamond at least knew the basics. Keep everything looking unchanged, just modify letters if possible. Make any lines you want to cover up look like mistakes. The only real problem was gonna be finding an inkwell.
There are, it turns out, advantages to being on a train full of snooty rich socialites. Diamond eventually found one who was using her stupid cheating unicorn horn, to float a quill and scratch out a message on parchment. The yellow mare was sitting in one of the train cars, the ones where the seats were around a table to lay your papers out on. Diamond had nicked a quill earlier, just by looking for discarded feathers, but the ink well could have been a bit of a challenge. Fortunately, Diamond was going to take out two birds with one stone. See, she didn’t need an ink well, only ink.
So Diamond came blithely trotting in and somehow she just tripped and fell, and blundered right into that writing mare’s table. It was a disastrous accident! The ink well tipped over the edge and spilled right onto Diamond’s hindquarters! “I’m so sorry!” the mare said jumping to attention as Diamond hip checked her ink well, “Are you okay?! Oh no, it got all over your cutie mark!!”
“Oh no, my cutie—!
...mark,” Diamond said, trying to sound shocked, but then she really was shocked. Seeing that black ink pouring all over her mark made Diamond feel... shaky, and hollow. She had never covered up her mark before. Diamond kept wanting to, but never got around to it. She didn’t think it would be like... like this. She just stared at her flank numbly, unable to comprehend what she was feeling.
“Fortunately, I know an ink removal spell!” the apologetic mare said, lighting up her horn.
“No!” Diamond shouted, snapping her head to stare at the mare. “No. Don’t do anything more! Haven’t you done enough already?!” she shouted in outrage. The mare’s horn flickered out, and she whimpered uncertainly. “You should be ashamed!” Diamond stated harshly, then stomped off into the space between train cars. Diamond didn’t think for a minute that the mare had any blame in this; she just said that as an excuse to get away before that mare could clean her off. Diamond hid there around where the cars coupled together, until it didn’t look like anypony was following her. Then she went into a new train car, found a quiet corner, behind an empty seat, and got to work.
Yanking out a quill she’d gathered, Diamond placed it on her rump, where the quill wicked up some of the swiftly drying ink. Diamond kind of really wanted to clean it off right away really right away now, now, now, but she forced herself to ignore it. It would help her conceal herself. Nopony would recognize her, if she had splotches all over her cutie mark. It would... wear off eventually too. Yeah, it was okay. It was fine. Diamond Tiara was fine, damnit!
She stared at the name for a while, before finally deciding to make it “Dusty S. Tar,” which was a terrible name, but at least it wouldn’t draw suspicion when Diamond lacked a star pointing horn on her head. With her disguise complete, Diamond finally, finally allowed herself a chance to relax. She laid down on her belly and mrgrble.
Diamond Tiara didn’t even know she had fallen asleep, until a few hours later, when the train whistle awoke her. Struggling to her hooves, Diamond had a panicked instant to think that maybe she’d passed Canterlot entirely, but the whistle was followed by the conductor walking the train cars saying, “All departures to Canterlot, please assemble in the rear car! Now approaching Canterlot! Canterlot! All departures to Canterlot...”
Diamond had never been more nervous in her life. She was fine. She had a ticket, and money, and... and her disguise temporarily covered up her cutie mark. She just had to give the ticket to the mare or something, and she’d be in the city. Just swallow that fear and step forward like you mean it, that’s what daddy always said. She was gonna save her stallion, and... yeah she wasn’t even going to think about what was inside her until she was entirely past this.
They gathered all the ponies into the rear car, where the only platform was when the train stopped. The conductor checked her ticket, but didn’t give it more than a passing glance, and Diamond could hardly believe it but she was somehow standing there outside the train, right in front of the great Canterlot Forcefield. It was... pinker than Diamond had expected. She’d never been to Canterlot before, and frankly she didn’t even think her daddy had ever been to Canterlot before. Diamond Tiara was starting to see why.
Already securely snug in the mountain’s grasp, the entire city was covered in a shield bubble, a transparent sphere of magic that looked like it soared overhead, it was so vast in curvature. Beyond it the hints of the city could be seen. The only other feature in the lonely crags was a squat looking brown building unceremoniously plunked down right in the middle of the shield. “Next pony, please,” a magically enhanced loudspeaker crackled. Diamond looked to the others, and saw everyone was getting in a line, in front of the one, small doorway.
Great, more waiting.
Diamond finally got her turn to enter the building. It was poorly lit, cold, and drafty, trading the feeling of exposure outside for claustrophobia. Diamond was trying not to freak out, and just stay calm when she approached a drab mare, who looked at her with dull eyes and simply said, “Ticket, please.”
Diamond hoofed over her ticket, her gut feeling like it was falling off of the highest point in Cloudsdale, as the mare slowly looked it over, then shot Diamond another look and said, “What is the purpose of your visit?”
Diamond glanced at the exits oh no there was a guard nonono, how did they figure it out?! “I’m meeting my ffather in the Canterlot gardens,” she said trying to think desperately about what little she knew actually was in Canterlot. Thank goodness there had been that huge hullabaloo about Gala tickets last year, as it had the whole town talking about the famed city. “He takes care of the buzzards,” Diamond explained. “I’m a-apprenticing with him.”
“Duration of stay?” the mare continued uncaringly. She was taking a stamp and marking Diamond’s ticket somehow. Was it a mark to arrest her?
“Until a—a month,” Diamond stammered out. “Until I learn to care for them.”
“Enjoy your stay,” replied the mare, dropping the ticket over the counter so swiftly, Diamond barely managed to catch it. A big fat [ENTRY GRANTED] stamp on it in green ink. “You know, I hear that they really buzz,” the mare added in a more conversational tone.
“What?” Diamond said numbly.
“The buzzards,” the mare prompted.
“Oh, right. Yeah they do,” Diamond said quietly.
There was a moment before the mare said, “Well, get on then. The door is to your right.”
Diamond didn’t have to be told twice. She put the ticket back in her saddle bags, and trotted to the right, glancing back only long enough to see the next pony approaching the reception desk. The door slid open smoothly, though as she passed through Diamond could see some heavy bolts in it, ready to be sealed shut at a moment’s notice. It was really creepy, this building here. But as she emerged from it...
Diamond Tiara found herself standing on the white roads of Canterlot.
The golden city itself arched over her, crystal clear beyond the shield that protected it. The gently sloping walkways, the tall towers, the beautifully manicured lawns, it was definitely a sight worth seeing. Diamond Tiara hadn’t even really wanted to see Canterlot, but now that she did, she was very impressed.
Diamond didn’t know how long she was gonna be in Canterlot. She didn’t know what was holding up her stallion, or what she was going to do to save him. But one thing’s for sure, she was pretty sure that whole disaster in Dodge Junction was just the warmup for an even greater adventure. Her first step across that threshold would be finding her stallion, and finding out what happened to him. And then they were gonna take this city, and the world by storm.
Canterlot was everything Diamond Tiara dreamed. There were beautiful buildings and beautiful shops, meticulously manicured gardens, and everypony was so graceful and elegant. The citizens of Canterlot walked with their nose held high, not giving a care about anything or anyone, dressed in the most expensive of suits and gowns, and certainly not mucking about making friends. These ponies were ponies every pony should know is better than them, and the confidence they exuded was inspiring.
It was also kind of a pain in the tail, though! Diamond didn’t want to achieve her dreams right now. Her dreams required that she be rich and powerful, so that she could strut around like this. What she had fantasized about Canterlot never involved Diamond actually having to talk to ponies, and get help from them. Now she needed to be practical, and she found herself facing unexpected trouble.
“Excuse m—”
“Pardon m—”
“Hey!”
Diamond couldn’t even get the attention of any pony, not even slightly. They weren’t just ignoring her, they were making a calculated effort to avoid her! They were making a wide berth around her on the sunny streets of Canterlot, like she was dangerous, or—or sick or something. It was exactly what she would have done, because these ponies didn’t need her for anything, but she didn’t want it done to herself! Then Diamond saw them: a whole bunch of guards marching in a formation, right in her direction.
Thinking fast, she darted behind a bench and crouched there hidden—no, no this was a terrible idea! You could see her through the bars in the bench if you looked! Where was she going to hide? Where could she hide?! Diamond couldn’t find anywhere, so she just had to crouch there quivering, watching the guards march by and just praying to Celestia that nopony looked her way.
Nopony did, or if anypony did, at least they didn’t recognize her. Diamond was afraid of guards now, because some of them were bad, and she didn’t know if these were the bad ones! The bad guards would be all over Canterlot if, as Diamond suspected, they’d captured her stallion, and imprisoned him in some awful dank dungeon. That was the first thing they had to do after Diamond had rescued him, is find out just how far this corruption goes, just like how Danger Mare did it, in the crown jewels arc.
But for now, Diamond just had to figure out where he was.
Diamond Tiara was pretty low on the ladder in Canterlot. Okay, really low. So low she was scraping the bottom. Nowhere to go from there but up though, right? She just had to find the other low lifes, and start stepping on them to get higher. This reliable method had always worked for her before, but... Diamond had never been this low before. But she couldn’t be the lowest, so she just had to find the ones who were, and get them to help her—and use them, to help herself.
The trouble is there didn’t seem to even be any low life in Canterlot. Every place seemed to be all rich and ritzy and glamorous, and there were no run down neighborhoods, or ponies sitting around on the street without anything important to do. It was all beautiful, but it was all so like, empty. Diamond couldn’t even go into the stores without somepony getting in her way and pushing her back outside. She had money, though! A little bit. Not enough for... for anything here, but it was like they thought she was gonna steal from them! How was she supposed to steal anything, with ponies thinking that?
The guards were a huge problem too. They were everywhere! Diamond made sure to never be far from a good hiding spot after that first blunder, but spent more time hiding in planters and behind barrels than she did walking around. It was only a matter of time at this point. Diamond didn’t know where to find her stallion, or how long she could hold out before somepony caught her! They might even return her all the way to the nunnery! She—
She would start getting fatter if she had to spend another... some amount of weeks at that convent. Diamond didn’t even want to imagine what would happen when she started showing. Resting a hoof on that strange lump in her belly, Diamond found a whimper escaping her chest. She loved foals, and she would be the best mommy who ever lived, but it was just so weird being like this. It wasn’t exactly something Diamond Tiara had thought she was going to be doing with her life. She wondered if there was anything she was supposed to do. You just waited and it just happens, right? Her stomach growled.
Oh. Right. Diamond’s ears went flat. The other thing she’d forgot is that she had to eat things, and that foal in her was just voracious it seemed. Of course, the one time she needs to feed herself and a foal is the one time that she doesn’t have all the food in the world to eat.
There were no street vendors in Canterlot. Everypony who sold food was in some kind of fancy store or another. It would be heaven to a filly with money, who didn’t have to avoid guards. But Diamond now felt nothing but anxiety about it. She tried to find a store that looked like food that was fast, and cheap. She kept kicking herself for not picking up that cache of cash before she left, but no matter how she turned it around in her head, Diamond couldn’t think how she could do it without risking those thieves running off with both caches, not just the one she gave them.
Why did she just give it to them again? That was a stupid mistake.
Diamond startled at the bell that rang when she pushed her way into the shop. She tried to keep her cool, ignoring any stares from patrons as she strutted forward to the counter, almost too tall for her to reach over. But she slapped her hoof on top of it leaving 3 bits from her dwindling fund there, saying,
“There. I have money! You can’t kick me out if I have money. Now I want um... glazed would be good, but I like sprinkles, but oh you have maple sprinkles? Hmm...”
Diamond Tiara perhaps wasn’t on top of her game when she got distracted in looking at the menu, but it all just looked so good! They even had pictures to accompany each item and given her life recently, Diamond Tiara wanted to eat everything.
Diamond noticed the proprieter staring down at her oddly. “Shouldn’t you be wearin’ some clothes, little filly?” he said uneasily.
“Um, no?” Diamond said looking at her own rump, which still startled her at the sight of a black blotch instead of her cutie mark. “I didn’t think it was like, important?” she told him, probably the first pony to actually speak to her since she arrived here.
“Haven’t you heard the new law?” the rather portly looking stallion said to her, “Ponies who can’t dress themselves are indecent, and anypony found to be indecent is no longer privileged to live in our fair city. That’s what the law says anyway. This has been the case as of last year! Where are your parents?”
Diamond gulped. “They’re s-shopping somewhere else, and yeah totally my bad,” she said rolling her eyes, “I like, didn’t know and took off my like, dress because it was—” she glanced at the door, “—hot outside.”
“Well, you better go get dressed then,” he said with a rough laugh, “And I’ll be talkin’ to them about proper clothing discipline with you, but you can eat a donut or two first, right?”
Wow. In one sentence, he completely took apart Diamond’s alibi, and called her bluff on like, everything. “T-t-that’d be good I want um... sprinkle...um...” Diamond stammered, trying to keep her composure, despite how everypony kept looking at her.
“Here you go,” he said floating a serving tray down to her rump. Oh, of course he was a unicorn. Like, everypony in Canterlot was a unicorn! It was so unfair. “One maple sprinkle, one honey glaze, and a tall glass of milk.”
“Okay, thank you I’ll just—” Diamond said, glancing at the ceramic plate on the tray he’d given her that certainly didn’t look like it was intended for takeout. “I’ll just have these to go, and—”
“Oh, no, you’re gonna eat ‘em right here, where I can keep an eye on ya,” the beige colored stallion said sternly, his ears half folded under his food seller’s hat. “Just take a seat,” he added more warmly, totally lying of course. “You’ll be fine.”
Diamond had no choice though. She could run but—but she’d lose her donuts! She was so hungry! She spent three bits on these! And what if somepony grabbed her on the way out? She was fine now. She just... just had to think of an excuse to keep him from trying to find her parents, while she ate her donuts. She could—she could even run after she ate them, and he couldn’t do anything about it!
So full of false confidence, Diamond Tiara ambled over to a table, and slid the tray off of her rump. The donuts looked like, so good, and she was even thirstier than she was hungry. Can you believe there weren’t any public watering troughs in Canterlot? There were even signs on the fountains saying do not drink! Not that Diamond listened, but she’d just—she’d just been having nothing but trouble since she got here.
Diamond bit and tilted up the cup, and almost finished off the milk in one continuous series of gulps. She stuck her head forward and took a big bite of the maple sprinkles donut. It was so good and sweet, and still warm from the fryer, and it crackled unpleasantly when she bit down on it. Wait, what?
Diamond spit out what she bit on, which looked like a little piece of paper? She unfolded the tiny square, reading the hasty scrawl on it.
you are in danger
meet me in back room - “employees only”
pretend to use restroom
Well duh, of course she’s in danger. Diamond had been in nothing but danger ever since those mean ponies ambushed her daddy, and—and foalnapped her stallion! Not in that order. She looked up to the donut seller, but there was a scrawny teenage mare at the counter now. Was he actually serious? Diamond wasn’t just going to trust some—some random pony who had been the only pony who even talked to her since she got here. Okay, maybe there was something to this.
Diamond finished both donuts before she even thought about going there. It didn’t take long; she was absolutely ravenous. She’d eaten a lot on the train, but that was yesterday, and she like, got super hungry too. Still, with a full belly Diamond felt a little less disarrayed, and made sure to take the note with her when she stalked off to use the restroom. On the way there, Diamond started to realize that she did have to use the restroom. There weren’t any... public restrooms in Canterlot either! Diamond went to the back hall marked “Restrooms” and sure enough there was a dingy door there for mares, and for stallions, and also a third door marked “Employees Only”.
Diamond made a deliberate show of going into the restroom, not finding anypony powdering her mane in there thank goodness. She was free to just go into a stall and flip up her tail. Diamond was surprised at the sheer amount spraying out of her. Hadn’t she gone to the bathroom recently? It’d only been a half day since the train, right? Well, it didn’t make her any dirtier to go for one minute than two, so no big deal. She waited until her butt was done doing its thing, and daintily cleaned herself up.
Leaving the toilet flushing in the stall, Diamond trotted out to the sink, just in time for a mare to come pushing into the bathroom. The pomfy lavender pony took one look at Diamond and stuck her nose in the air, walking quickly past her and—she shoved Diamond Tiara away from the sink.
Rather than walk past her, the mare physically shoved her away from the sink! The mare began washing her hooves then, and checking her makeup while Diamond shouted “Hey!” up to the older mare. Diamond barely even got a passing glance. She could feel her face turning redder, but she couldn’t push the mare away herself because Diamond was too small! That mare took forever to do her makeup too, so Diamond just gave up on washing her hooves, and walked through the door. Diamond was ready to dart back into the bathroom claiming she forgot something if anypony was watching, but a quick look around revealed nopony in her vicinity other than that awful mare in the bathroom.
So Diamond crept forward, and opened the “Employees Only” door, which was unlocked. Behind it was a professional kitchen, gleaming in a polished silvery sheen everywhere, from sinks to fryers to sprinklers, it was more of a factory than a kitchen. It reminded Diamond of her servant’s kitchens back at home. This one was totally specialized to one kind of food though. The door closed behind her, and she was safe. Relatively safe, at least. Assuming this stallion wasn’t just trying to get her alone. Diamond should have—
Diamond should have thought of that. Oh well, what’s the worst he can do? Steal her money! And Diamond barely had any, when you looked at Canterlot prices! She’d have been able to buy a whole box of donuts for three bits back home! So she walked confidently forward, looking to and fro at the steaming and sizzling, until somepony jumped her from behind, grabbed her by the haunches and pulled her quickly into a dingy looking storage room.
Diamond yelped and kicked out, and he said, “Ow!” as her hooves connected. Backing up from Diamond was the store pony, the stallion holding a hoof to his sore chest saying, “Hey watch it, you’re gonna ruin my complexion!”
“That’s not all I’ll ruin if you try to do anything bad to me,” Diamond said bravely. She tried to be brave at least, but alone in this small room, with a big angry stallion staring her down, she just couldn’t help but feel just a little bit trembly. “If you do, then my daddy will hear of this” she cleverly threatened, “And he’ll make you wish you never lived!” Diamond’s daddy would too, without even lifting a hoof; she’d seen it more than once. It was tremendously empowering to have a daddy do that, but kind of... icky.
“I’m not tryin’ to hurt ya, I’m tryin’ ta save ya!” he told her in an irate tone. “Why were ya takin’ so long to get here? The guard is gonna show up at any second!”
“I had to use the bathroom, so sue me!” Diamond retorted. “And I know the guard are bad. That’s what I’m here for, to make them all hurt, so they stop messing with me!”
That... sounded a lot better in her head.
“You’re here to what?” he asked with a puzzled look, “Stop the guard, are you nuts?”
“No, I’m here to find my stallion,” Diamond stated, “And we’ll stop the guard together, just you wait!”
“Your... stallion?” he said uneasily.
“Yes, and it’s none of your business so if you have nothing else then I am just going to get out of your grubby little convenience store and go find him,” Diamond said, flicking her tail the stallion’s way.
“You can’t go out there!” he shouted, “You ain’t even dressed!”
“O-oh, right, well... I was going to!” Diamond said, blushing at her lack of forethought.
“You know what I think?” the donut pony said, “I think you ain’t got no parents, and you ain’t got no clothing. You ain’t gonna last a day before they get you like that.”
“No, I have parents!” Diamond denied reflexively, “I have... they’re totally outside in the... I mean...” right, Diamond has parents. Surely her parents were out there, helping her find the stallion that made her a parent. Like anypony’s ever gonna believe that.
“Okay fine, I don’t have any parents,” Diamond growled at him. “But I have a daddy, and he doesn’t let me get hurt. So you can’t hurt me or he’ll come after you!”
“I told you,” he retorted at her, “I ain’t gonna hurt—did you say a daddy?”
“Yes, my daddy is a very rich pony, and we just got separated by some robbers,” Diamond told him haughtily, “So I’m not like really poor, I just look like it. I could totally have all the dresses if I really wanted. He even gives me two bedrooms!”
The donut stallion stared at her oddly, and then put a pastern to his forehead, saying wearily, “Joe you bleedin’ heart you went and stepped in another one.” He focused on Diamond and said, “Listen, your ...daddy ain’t right. He’s bad news; he’s just using you. You gotta stay away from him, and go get some help, and get outta this city fast.”
“What?” Diamond said, aghast, “I can’t believe you’re saying that! My daddy is the best pony in the whole wide world, and he’s better than any other pony. He takes care of me. He doesn’t use me! He taught me how to use other ponies! Everypony sucks, except for him. He’s the only one who counts. And... and you suck! You’re just jealous because daddy is better than you!”
“Jealous?!” the stallion retorted hotly, “Of some souped up fancy man? You’re delusional, filly!”
Diamond was hopping mad by now. This plain colored pony in a server’s uniform she faced, in this simple storage room seeming like the embodiment of all the odious and obstructionist ponies who stood in her way this entire time. “You just want me to leave the city, because you don’t want me to find my stallion!” she accused him shrilly. “You’re one of them, I bet! I bet you’re a bad guard! W-where are the others? I’ll escape you, I will!” she glanced around frantically, but they were still alone in the room.
“What stallion?” he asked in exasperation. “How’s he your stallion? You’re just jumpin’ at shadows, filly!”
“He’s my stallion because he’s my favorite stallion,” Diamond said smartly, “And he like, wants me to travel with him far away from Equestria in like, his royal blimp. So that’s what we’re gonna do, and you can’t stop us!”
“Are you listenin’ to yourself filly?” the strange stallion said in stark amazement. “You really think any of that is real?”
“This is real!” Diamond shouted, turning her flank to the stallion and pointing right at her belly. She bared her secret, not even caring if the whole world could see, if she could just shut up this stupid, smug donut seller. “It’s proof that he loves me!”
The donut pony was just staring at her, and she wondered if maybe he really was stupid, but then she realized, and blushed, and admitted, “I–I’m not really showing yet, but I will. My stallion gave me a beautiful foal, and he promised we’d raise it together. He wouldn’t do that, if he didn’t love me!”
The donut pony’s next question was a weird one. He just stood there and asked her quietly, “How old are ya?”
“I–I’m gonna be 13 next spring?” Diamond said in a flustered tone. “But I’m old enough. I even had my first heat this year!”
“Of course you did,” he said with a hollow expression, sinking limply to his haunches. He covered his face with both forehooves, and then went on in a very conflicted tone, “Ough, I shouldn’t ask this. It ain’t gonna mean nothing good if I know. Filly, you got a stallion right? What is his name?”
Diamond told him.
“That son of a bitch!” the donut pony roared suddenly, surging to his hooves. He noticed Diamond cowering at that explosion of force, and seemed like he wanted to shout a whole lot more things, but couldn’t think of anything to say while she was around.
So instead, he said, “Listen,” turning on his heels to face away from Diamond. “We’re gonna get you dolled up all pretty, and we’re gonna take you right to his doorstep, and you can tell him about everything he did, and all the things he promised you. You’re gonna get the truth from the horse’s mouth, and we’re gonna rat that snake out for what he is.”
“What do rats and snakes have to do with anything?” Diamond asked in confusion. “You mean you’re going to help me? Why are you mad, then? Are you gonna help me or are you gonna try to capture me like the guards did?”
He looked her over one more time, and said, “I’ll tell ya after this is all over, but for now we gotta get you presentable.”
There was some sort of commotion in front, and this stallion snapped his head up, saying, “Oh shiz, it’s the guard. Quick, behind the stand mixer. The password’s up up down left.”
“But—” Diamond said in confusion, but he just shoved her that way, saying,
“Go! Hide!”
Diamond fled for the... stand mixer, a large cauldron shaped machine used for twisting dough around and around on itself. She had no idea what he was even talking about, but she didn’t want the guard to catch her! When she darted behind the mixer, all she saw were the operation controls on its side. Only one of them was a D-pad, maybe that’s what he meant? She shakily pressed her hoof onto the pad that was clearly made for a much larger hoof than her own, and carefully rocked her hoof to depress it upwards twice, once down, and then left.
But instead of the machine starting up, there was a click in the floor, and with a quiet sliding sound, the linoleum tile parted to reveal a ladder leading downward. Diamond looked in astonishment at the hole in the floor, and the stand mixer, and the door out from the kitchen, then she saw that the hatchway was already beginning to slide closed again. Panicking, Diamond just about jumped into the hole, barely hooking a hoof on the ladder as—above her, the panel slid shut, enveloping her in darkness.
Diamond Tiara wasn’t a server pony or anything, but she was pretty sure this isn’t how a stand mixer works! But as she hung there, she noticed a dim light glowing down below her dangling hooves. So, hooking herself totally on the ladder, Diamond Tiara descended down it a short distance, coming to the bottom of what appeared to be a little alcove. A soft light was shining from either side, illuminating what looked like a very sturdy door. On the door there was another D-pad. Was this leading to a storage room or something?
Up, up, down, right didn’t work. Half seen in the shadows, a young pink filly named Diamond Tiara stared at the door with confused uncertainty, unable to figure out how to open it. So, unable to figure out how to open it, she just backed her rear against it and hunkered in the dim light, looking up fearfully at the yawning darkness of the hole she came down from. He told her to hide, so she was hiding! Why was she even listening to him? Diamond Tiara wasn’t obeying the server pony or anything, not in the slightest. She just... didn’t want to go up there right now, and didn’t have anywhere else she could go.
It worked. The guard didn’t catch her. When the light came beaming down from above, Diamond’s heart hammered in her chest, until she saw that the pony who stuck his head down the hole was the same pony who had sold her food earlier.
“Coast is clear,” he said gruffly to Diamond who was still blinking in the sudden, harsh light. “C’mon up, I got a friend to see ya.”
Diamond climbed up the ladder, emerging to the kitchen, where a rather tall and slender mare stood, in stark contrast to the bulky roundness of a pony whose lot in life is making the tastiest donuts in Canterlot. The mare had a pale pink mane, and a coat of the fairest cotton. And, of course, she was much, much taller than Diamond. Diamond felt almost guilty, slinking out of there, probably all dusty now, and with a bunch of ink all over her cutie mark! And faced with the most elegant mare, who was... not wearing a single scrap of clothing.
“Um, hello?” Diamond offered with a puzzled head tilt.
“Oh dear, I can see what you mean Joe,” the mare said in a smooth voice completely ignoring what Diamond Tiara said. “This filly needs to cover that up, right away!”
“I said, hello!” Diamond repeated, stomping a hoof. “Or are you gonna just ignore me like everypony else?”
The mare blinked at her. “Um... hello?” she ventured.
Well, darn it. Diamond hadn’t thought that far ahead in the future.
“Iris here is gonna help get you into the upper city,” the beige pony apparantly known as “Joe” said. “Where your eh, ‘stallion’ is living. Ponies can’t get up there without a pass, or a guard heh.”
“Another one?” Diamond declared. “How many tickets are there?”
“Er...” Joe scuffed at the ground
“Three, but a fourth if you want to speak with the princess,” Iris specified relatively easily. “Can’t be too careful what with the threat of war on the horizon.”
“War?” Diamond asked with some surprise.
“It’s when ponies can’t agree, so they send other ponies to fight each other for them,” Iris explained with a weak smile. “It doesn’t usually end well.”
“I know what war is. But with who?” Diamond said, trying to recall what little she paid attention to in geography period.
Iris shook her head, saying uncertainly, “The gryphons would be my first guess, but nopony’s really sure, anyway you don’t want me to bore you with politics. We have to get you dressed!”
“Oh, yeah,” Diamond said scuffing a hoof of her own and looking away. “I guess that would help.”
“Help?” Iris said in astonishment. “You’re a forsaken filly, a blank flank, without any clothes, and a deformed. It’s no wonder the guard is turning the place upside down!”
“I’m a... what?” Diamond asked aghast, not liking any of those terms, even though she hardly could imagine what some of them meant.
“It’ll be okay,” Joe told Diamond, with less confidence than she would have liked. “You just need a nice long pretty dress, to cover up that blemish, so nopony knows you got markings like that.”
Diamond blinked, then her eyes widened and she looked at her flank. The ink spill continued to do its job well, though Diamond didn’t know if it would last through a nice long, hot, soak bath. Her cutie mark was completely obscured, and if you looked at it right, it could have been part of her natural coat color. But she didn’t know it was a... blemish?
“Something wrong with pintos?” Diamond asked carefully, facing forward again.
Joe raised an eyebrow at her. “Filly,” he said, “You really haven’t been payin’ attention to the world at all, have ya?”
“I’ve been ...busy!” Diamond said, not really sure what she had been busy doing. Getting mounted, and going to school, and travelling with daddy so he could show her off. Being a rich pony’s filly was a demanding job! The sheer amount of time she had to spend finding ways to break the other fillies and colts took up most of her time, whether she was at school, or trapped in a convent.
“You sure have,” Joe said meaningfully. Diamond wasn’t sure if he understood, or if she didn’t.
“Ponies with markings are considered deformed now,” Iris explained. “It’s part of the ongoing campaign to purify our bloodlines.”
“So like, even pintos?” Diamond asked. “That’s crazy. There’s a pinto colt at my school who... oh, actually I think he had to leave for some...reason?”
“It seems nice at first,” Joe suggested somberly, “Ain’t nopony wants to be born with a club foot, or a weak heart, or nothing.”
“But they’re doing it for just about anything they can think of,” Iris cut in. Seemed like these two had some kind of dynamic going, or at least they got along enough to not fight over interrupting each other. “It’s not just sick ponies,” she told Diamond with her and Joe’s face competing for space in front of her, “So you have to be careful. And that means clothing!”
Diamond eyed the naked mare uneasily, saying, “So, you’re gonna find some clothing for me to wear?”
There was silence.
Iris burst out with a musical laugh. “Oh, heavens no!” she said, “I don’t know the first thing about clothing! Joe is the one who picked a nice outfit for you.”
Diamond glanced leerily at Joe, who lit up his horn and floating over her way came a... actually a rather nice looking dress, if a little plain. It was yellow with purple highlights, would probably compliment her mane and tail at least. And it was long enough to cover her rump, which apparantly was an important thing now.
“I don’t get it,” Diamond said leerily to Joe, touching the floating dress with a hoof. “If you’re just gonna... somehow get me a dress that looks pretty good, then why is she here?”
Joe looked at Iris, who looked at Joe, who looked at Iris. The more slender unicorn mare then lit up her horn, in a pleasant violet light and closed her eyes, while her magic lifted up what had been sitting on the counter unnoticed until now, and slid it down onto her head: the polished golden legionary helmet of the Canterlot Royal Guard.
