He loved it when ponies came on the TV. It was his favorite show of all time. Nothing like sitting there, relaxing in front of his big screen, and idly stroking himself to the pony plots that filled the screen. It’s funny because he never managed to cum during an episode. It was only after the episode finished that he would sit there gripping his dick, imagining that his hand was a pussy, and fucking himself hard.
Then he’d clean up, go check the fridge to see if there was any beer. There never was, but he couldn’t be assed to go down to the corner store to get some. He’d pause at his door, thinking about going outside, but what was there out there for him? Nothing. No pussy, no friends, nothing to do but wander about the city, waiting to die.
He’d cry about it sometimes. Stuck in this crummy one room apartment, with nothing better to do than watch TV and ruminate over the life of loneliness that would never end, until one day his heart stopped or some shitty, lame way to die like that. Everything goes dark, and... that’s it. Nobody comes and saves him. There was no grim reaper to gently guide his soul to the beyond. No waking up from this nightmare that they called life. He just has to sit there, lonely, unfulfilled, and dead forever.
Oh sure his body would decompose. But the universe that created him would still exist, and it’d be a murderer of him, his hopes and dreams, and the hopes and dreams of everyone who ever lived. He cried those bitter tears just wishing that someone, anyone coming to comfort him, to hold him gently and tell him that everything’s going to be okay.
But only little boys get that luxury, and only the lucky little boys at that, whose mom isn’t a total bitch. He wasn’t one of the lucky ones, not at anything. Just some loser nobody with a shitty job he hated, and no end in sight, other than the end, which fucking sucked. He wasn’t a little boy anymore, not even a young man, but instead a bitter, horny single male: sworn enemy of females everywhere.
Well, fuck them. Fuck them all. May as well not even exist, as long as he kept the door closed and ignored the neighbors trying to fight again at 6am in the morning. He wished he could kill the universe. At least then when he died, there wouldn’t be any more little boys like him, forced to grow up into misery. Every human being, every organism, every higher life form, just turn the planet into a rock. Nobody left behind, nobody left unfulfilled, just dead rock, like the rest of the entire universe. It’d happen anyway on its own no matter what humanity did, so why prolong the suffering?
He was kind of glad he didn’t have any nuclear launch codes when he was in a mood like that. Not that he’d ever have the balls to actually use them. He didn’t even have the balls to ask for a raise. Even if the girls at work didn’t all have boyfriends and husbands, he probably wouldn’t have the balls to ask anyone out. He wished they’d ask him sometimes, but nobody ever asks a man to go out with them, unless they happen to be total faggots.
He wished he was a faggot. But there was something primal about cocks going into pussies just hard-wired in him in order to ensure his life had maximum suck. Every time he jacked off, he wanted to put a baby into a girl, wanted to sit close with her and lay his hand on her swollen womb, its smooth muscles just about ready to go into the contractions of birth. Faggots couldn’t do that, no matter what, not even those trannie freaks.
Not that he cared if someone was trans or not, but they definitely were a freak, and kind of sad. It was his one saving grace, that even if he had to die alone, he was still glad for that stiff, pulsing member in his hands, sending tingles into his body as he imagined how it would feel inside a female’s pussy when he came. If even that was awful, if he longed for his dick to be a pussy, he probably would have ended it a long time ago.
As-is, his life sucked, but he could still enjoy jacking off to porn, cartoon ponies, and cartoon pony porn. There was just something about those adorable ponies that screamed “Fuck me into the ground.” With their expressive faces, and smiles, and frowns, sure it was cartoony, but a porn star with three inches of makeup pretending to enjoy it was supposed to turn him on more?
He only really looked at their gonads when he watched real porn. Gonads were cool. Though every fucking porn star in the fucking world seemed like they had to shave it down to the skin. That was tolerable though, and he’d rewind the video to just the right moment if he could, so he could see his own unkempt erect dick squirting out cum at the same time as the shaved dick on screen.
He swears he wasn’t gay.
He thought about trimming sometimes. None of that shaving bullshit, but if he had a girlfriend, he’d probably keep it trimmed. Those oily hairs lightly wreathing his tingly scrotum weren’t too thick, so maybe he shouldn’t, but he didn’t even know a girl who bothered to talk to him, much less one he could ask on a female’s preference for pubic hair.
Cumming, jacking off and pissing. That’s what he loved to do with his dick. Technically there was very little else he could do with his dick. But even feeling that piss rush up the shaft and arc out of him into the toilet just where he wanted, it was a satisfying feeling that he might not have someone else’s pussy to impregnate, but at least he didn’t have to worry about aiming.
He was done with an episode of ponies one day, going through a slideshow of lovingly drawn ponies knocking each other up, and he hit a really good climax today. Panting hoarsely, hunching forward, gripping his strainingly erect penis, spurting semen out right onto the floor, he wanted to do in a female. The slideshow switched to a picture of a pony mare with a foal half sticking out of her, and he wanted that. He wanted to see her pushing a child out between her legs. It sounded totally wicked.
In the afterglow, he sat back on the couch, wondering if he really would impregnate a woman given the chance. He definitely felt the urge to do so when he was climaxing, but the whole thing about being a father, and not being an asshole, he didn’t really want to do. And if he ever did find a girl who liked him, how could he force a wonderful person like that to give birth, just because he wanted to see it? Plus they might not even let him in the hospital room like a bunch of tools.
Then there was the risk of fathering a son, knowing his life’s probably gonna be as lonely and miserable as yours was, and it’s all your fault he has to go through with it. He figured he might have a better attitude if he did have a chance to impregnate a woman though, because why wouldn’t his son, then? Hell, his son would have his wife, if no one else. And if she had a daughter... huh.
Would he fuck his own daughter? Maybe if she wanted to, and it was physically possible. Baby fucking was just silly. The most he’d do is squirt the semen in without penetration. But maybe that was why he was alone. Because other people didn’t feel like he did in secret. They all hated correctly in a way he could never quite understand. He lost his boner the moment someone started getting hurt or upset, but they lost their boners under arbitrary criteria, like age, or body shape.
She’s screaming for you to stop? If her 18th birthday was yesterday, you’re a jerk for raping her, and might face jail time. If her 18th birthday is tomorrow, you’re an inhuman monster who can only be forgiven in death. That’s how people actually thought, and... and that’s why he didn’t care if they all died or not. Fucking faggots.
He got up to clean his spunk off the floor, because he doesn’t live in a pigsty, and because he’d probably warp the laminate if he never cleaned that stuff up. Now that would be one awkward conversation with the apartment manager. That’s when he noticed Twilight Sparkle peering at him in through his window off to the side. The way she was blushing, it was pretty clear what she just watched. Wait, what?!
When he turned to face her, still pantsless, she jerked back in surprise, meeting his eyes for a timeless moment, before sort of blurring out in the blink of an eye. He ran to the window, but she was gone. Nothing outside his window but the normal inky blackness. How the fuck did she appear in his window, not on the TV? This was a joke, right? Someone hung some kind of transparent screen outside his window to fuck with him, right? Who would do that though, and how would she react to him facing her?
The whole building groaned dangerously then, and the floor tilted back underneath him. He barely had time to grab the windowsill before his socked feet slipped out from under him, and looking back in terror. The entire building wasn’t tipping over. The far side of his room was distorting crazily, impossibly crushing down into a single point of light shining so bright it hurt to look at. He had the briefest of moments to realize that gravity was sideways and the thing wasn’t beside him. It was below him.
Then the implosion of his room reached his dangling feet, and the fact that it didn’t hurt was not as comforting as one might think. His socks, no his whole feet and legs just kind of squinched down, a force not yanking powerfully enough to break his death grip on the windowsill, but his body betrayed him. He couldn’t stop it from stretching out like playdough. His legs were disappearing into the thing, then with a powerful yank, his dick and balls and entire hips extruded as well.
“*Holy fucking shi—!*” he managed to shout before he hiccupped at his diaphragm getting yanked, and couldn’t breathe as his rib cage turned into a funnel. He couldn’t feel anything below there! Then he let go of the windowsill, because why the fuck not? And his whole upper body got yanked into a ball for an instant where he couldn’t move. Then everything in his chest and arms and fucking skull yanked an-n-n-n-d—
He felt... curled up in a ball as he awakened. His heart was beating slowly in his chest, and his blurry eyes cracked open woozily. He wasn’t in his bed, he was on the ground, outside somewhere? “The fuck was that...dream?” he said, pushing up on one elbow where a number of things became immediately apparent.
“The fuck happened to my voice?” he asked in a high pitched squirp that sounded more like a little kid than anything. He had an excuse for not seeing himself right away, as the forest green fur kind of blended in with the forest green moss he was lying in. “The fuck?!” he repeated shrilly, seeing his furry stubby little legs move as he uncurled, asking the air, “How am I turning my neck like this? The fuck?”
He... looked left, then right, then lay down just his head, then lifted it again. What the hell happened to him? That weird stretchy crushy thing really happened?? “Is that fucking...” he said, lifting a clumsy arm to push a... a finger? To push a finger into his thigh, feeling the rough fluffiness of “Is that fucking fur??”
He stretched that furry leg out, then brought it back to neutral, which was... still kind of bent at the knee. But that’s where his leg went at neutral. His leg, his torso, and his entire body was some weird green furry thing. “I fucking transformed into a...” he said, pushing up on his hands, which... barely pushed him up at all. “A talking... something?” he concluded in confusion, giving up trying to push up on his hands and just rolling onto his back, where his legs splayed out to either side, knees still bent. Lifting an arm above him, it just looked like a furry green cylinder, that kinked when he pulled it to his chest like a squirrel.
He straightened it out again, and straightened out his other arm, bringing his... the ends of his arms together. He was jolted as hard surface struck hard surface in a quiet but undeniable “clop.”
“I’m a...” he said, bringing his hooves to face each other, pressing them together, feeling them press together, “I’m a fucking pony? How the... fuck?” His arms just naturally curled as he pulled them to his chest, saying, “This is impossible. This can’t be real. Have I finally snapped?” in a young high voice that made him sound like a little kid again.
“Because I am a little kid,” he groaned cutely, rolling on his side again to see his own ass, “Yup... blank as a sheet. This is fucking impossible. And where the fuck am I?”
The everpresent sounds of howls and whirrs and chirps with strange hooting noises in the distance, and the fact that the canopy was so thick above him that the sunlight shining through it doesn’t cast shadows on the ground, and the fact that there are fucking vines hanging fucking everywhere indicated one possibly good, possibly very bad fact.
“I’m a little kid pony in the fucking Everfree forest, aren’t I?” he groaned, laying his head back against the moss.
“I bet I’m a fucking girl, too,” he muttered, staring blankly upward, laying there in a daze, “Why couldn’t this happen to one of those trannie freaks? Instead I get to live their fucking dream and get eaten by a manticore before I get even five fucking feet.”
He rolled on his side just to make sure, but there were no wings. Checking his forehead no horn, he shouted, “Fuck!” in frustration to the unfairness of the world. Even ponyland had to get his fucking hopes up. “I am going to pony the shit out of this, if I get out of here alive,” he muttered.
Laying on his back again was easy enough, but figuring out his gender, not so easy. Reaching his arm down there, he... didn’t feel anything, but it was a fucking hoof so how was it supposed to feel anything. It felt like touching himself with a finger but it just didn’t reach far enough for him to be sure. He felt... soft there, but couldn’t quite make out what he was feeling, outside of scrotum. It did make him discover where his nipples had gone though, right down between his legs as the fur of his arm tickled along their surfaces.
“Are those crotch tits?” a little girl asked testily, “They’re just fucking man nipples. But don’t girl horses have really tiny tits? Like, really flat? I need a fucking mirror.”
No mirror was to be had though, and eventually he decided that the best thing would be to stay quiet, and try to figure out how to stand up and get to some cover. Laying on his side was just as easy as laying on his back, a little harder to get to his belly since he had to pull his bottom arm out from under him. And... there he was. All splayed out, his belly getting wet from the moss underneath it, with no idea if he was a girl or a boy, and no idea of how to turn this into standing. He tried climbing onto his front hooves, but... he just didn’t know how to pull himself up with them. They didn’t exactly have anything to pull with. He just slipped down on his belly again with a huff.
He lifted up on his arm to scoot it under his back again, laying sideways. Then he looked around at the thick trunks of the ancient trees around here. Using his hind... toes to push, he wiggled around until he was right up against one of those trees. And he started trying to push himself up the side of the tree.
“Wait, that fucking worked?” he said in quirky surprise, as his front hooves pushed against the ground, sliding his torso up the tree, and then his back legs could just kind of squirm into position and push up themselves, until he was for all intents and purposes, standing. Leaning against a tree.
“Woah...” he said in a dazed sort of wonder, “Haha I’m fucking standing like a horse. This is weird.”
He lowered his head, until he could look down at his chest, which is to say look back at his chest. Then he raised it again, tilting his head back to an impossible degree, until it rested comfortably on his shoulders like the neck of a swan. “If I was human, I’d be doing a fucking back bend,” he said in bemusement, swivelling his head easily around to look at himself, and to look away. “Okay, so...”
Lifting one hoof, then another, then returning all four to the forest floor, he uh... hip checked the tree to push himself off of it. Standing there, still probably a girl, wobbling on four sturdy hooves pressing into the earth, he said, “Okay, so far so good.”
Then he walked his feet...hooves forward, just a tiny step. Then walked his hand hooves forward the same amount. “This’s too easy,” he said in disbelief, walking his hind legs forward again, followed by his front legs. “It’s not like crawling but like... fucking crawling wearing high heels. On my fucking toes.”
He was so distracted with walking, that his tentative first steps carried him over the edge of a sharp drop in incline, leading him to scream like a little girl, “Fuck!” as he tumbled down, head over heels, landing on his back in the dirt.
“Okay,” he groaned, rolling to his side again, and pushing his front hooves underneath him, so he could push his upper torso up, “Now I just need to find a... wait a minute.”
Then he sort of lifted his butt up, while his hind legs went right into place again. “That’s it?” he asked in disbelief, “You have to stand sideways? The fuck, I bet the ponies will totally get a fucking laugh out of me doing it that way.”
Hesitantly walking his short little legs forward, really wishing he had some way to confirm if he was a colt or a filly, he aimed for the nearby underbrush, making his way into it and then getting his bearings.
“Okay, so...” he said quietly, “Pony. Foal. My tail is... it’s too dark to see the color down here. Can’t climb with hooves. And no idea if I have any balls. Middle of the jungle, can barely walk, I am so fucking screwed.”
There was thankfully no answer, but he knew one thing. He did not want to be in the middle of the jungle at night. Daylight was dark enough as it is!
“Maybe I can find a landmark,” he said hopelessly, “A trail or... or something. Until then, just...”
Reluctantly, he pushed the branches up with a foreleg, and walked his hind legs forward until he was out, catching up with his remaining foreleg when necessary. “Yeah, walking’s pretty simple,” he murmured, looking back at his gently swaying rear—wait no, don’t look back while walking forward. He felt his own ears turning down, as he faced forward, creeping further into the jungle.
There were plenty of creeks to be found in a moist place like this. The muggy air was actually kind of hard to breathe in, but he ran across a trickling stream of water, and immediately started following it downstream. At least the spooky noises all around weren't ceasing, because nothing is more terrifying in a jungle than silence, but he was getting the distinct sensation of being... watched.
Head low, quiet as a mouse, he tried to... stick close to bushes or something, so nothing would have room to pounce him. It was fucking terrifying though, catching flashes of movement, the rustle of something rushing through the underbrush. He fucking swore he saw eyes staring at him out from the darkness.
The scents of earth and rain were all around him, strange perfumes and saps that he shied away from in the slightest, eyes wide as he tried to avoid stepping in any suspicious patches of flowers or mushrooms. He'd never been outside this much in his life. It was terrifying. Everything smelled so fresh and ancient at the same time. It was like nothing he could ever have imagined.
He tried not to rustle as much as possible as a trickle led to a bigger trickle, which led to a creek, which led to a river. He thought it was a river at least, because he didn’t know exactly how small he was. Pretty fucking small, it turns out, because the river combined with another river and got bigger and bigger, until it was hard to see the other side.
The trees opened up here, letting him at least see that the sun was swiftly setting towards the far bank of the river. “North south river...” he murmured quietly, looking around nervously. “Where is he?”
He followed the river further and further, as the light started to fade and the sky was grey. The jungle was thinning out though, becoming more of a broad plains, the river itself grown flat and broad. No sign of any overt creature just yet, but he kept moving, hoping desperately that he wasn’t on the wrong side.
With the last bit of fading light, he squinted across the river trying to see anything at all that would keep him from having to go all the way to Dodge City. That’s when a pinkish glow from behind caught his attention, and his supple neck easily allowed him to turn to his left, and then stop short. There, glowing in the evening sun like a beacon, was a magnificent crystal palace. Partially hidden behind towering stone walls, there was no hiding the light that it caught, and magnified, no denying its majesty.
“It... didn’t look this good on the show,” he said, haunches thumping to the ground beneath him. Blinking, he looked down at his round little green furred haunches, then walked forward on his front legs until he was standing again. “Okay uh... it's better than asking a gay lizard for directions,” he said cautiously, Either that or this was the most dangerous thing in this entire forest.
Walking up to it, the earth was scarred, sliced open by a blade the size of a small city. He knew about that though, and there was a rope bridge going over the yawning chasm that separated him from safety, or from his doom. So no problem, right?
“Oh fuck, I’m... I could fucking...” he said, trembling as he approached the bridge. He could see the bottom and it looked so very far away. “I could just slide through those... holes in the side and... I barely know how to fucking walk.”
At this point it was this or death by puckwudgie though, so he lifted a foreleg, and ste-e-e-pped onto the bridge. Then stepped off it. Then stepped on it. It creaked and rocked beneath his movements as he walked his forelegs onto it. His hooves should’ve just slid off it like butter, sending him plunging into the axe wound in the land. The boards were very close together at least, and not rotting or anything. There was a rope acting as a guide rail, but all four of his limbs were currently in use. Was he just supposed to....
Nervously, he stretched forward and bit the guide rail, a rope itself that slightly shifted against his teeth. His teeth felt weird. He didn’t even know what kind of teeth he had. But inching his hooves forward in pairs, then biting further along the rope of the railing, he slowly, carefully made his way across.
The rope was poorly tightened near the end, making the boards tilt in a gut dropping angle that should have killed him. His hooves felt fucking glued to the boards as he desperately tried not to be hanging off of this thing by the literal skin of his teeth.
Then... his forehooves came down on solid ground. He was biting the... the guide rail as it traveled to its deeply planted fastening hook on the other side. Somehow it was even more terrifying then, as if the short hill afterward would just push him backwards, dropping him off the edge just like that dream that can’t have been a dream. Unconsciously crouching as he inched forward, at last he was far enough away from the cliff to breathe a sigh of relief.
The walls were solid grey stone bricks, stacked so high he couldn’t see the top, once he reached the base of the wall. There were two doors up a small set of stairs, firmly shut, but he just walked around the edge of the wall until he found a place where it had crumbled away entirely, or gotten knocked down. Easing around into the courtyard this wall had once protected, he approached a giant, glowing, pastel colored crystal tree palace.
“I’m—” he said shocked by the tone of his sweet, high, girly voice as he spoke louder than a whisper for the first time since awakening. “I’ll try to be harmonious as I uh, can," a little girl told the tree, "Sorry, I just need a place to stay for the n-night or until someone—s-somepony finds me. You don’t have to answer me, I just... just letting you know why I’m going uh in you. So please don’t...” His hoof hovered over the first step, as he said anxiously, “Please just... don’t kill me or anything. I–I’ll go somewhere else if you have a problem with me.”
If anything, the light within the tree palace brightened at that.
His hoof gave a soft clop as it came down against the crystal step. He jerked it up again immediately, wary of any crystals growing out of the ground around him, then put it down again. Then, he just climbed the steps. “Hmmm hmhm...” he idly hummed in his little voice, walking both sets of legs up each of the shallow steps leading to the second level of the palace, “Hmm hmm hmmm... hmhm...” The opalescent surface wasn’t slippery to his hooves, but was otherwise very smooth and opaque.
He got to the top, and... and it was gorgeous, but that’s no surprise. What he did like were all the pillows piled liberally about here. Definitely a room for lounging in. Or sleeping, as such the case may be. Or collapsing onto a pillow because I haven’t walked that far in my life, former or current. Oh heavenly fuck did it feel good to be safe from getting eaten by literally the fuck everything in this forest.
Or literally the fuck nothing, since nothing actually tried to eat him on the way here. Try telling yourself that when you’re two foot five and surrounded by jungle though.
He woke up thirsty, murmuring in a strange voice, before snapping open his eyes to see his furry green hooves splayed out in front of him on the pillow he was sleeping on. “That wasn’t a dream either,” he said, finding his voice a little lower, and raspier in the morning light. “What the fuck did Twilight do to me?”
Sliding off the pillow, he lay on his side to stand, looking overhead at the crystalline architecture that looked a little yellower in the morning, but otherwise was definitely rain protecting. Still alone in the crystal palace, he had no idea how long it would be until anyone came by. “Anycreature?” he mused chirpily, “I wonder if there’s some water around here...” He did in fact find water at the edges of the balcony areas, that looked like it had pooled there since the last time it rained. “Just... stick my nose in it, huh,” he murmured huskily. That did the trick, and sweet, beautiful water was easy to suck up into his mouth and swallow down his parched throat.
“Hopefully nobody walked in that,” he grumbled entirely too cutely for his liking. Then walking inside, he started searching around, muttering, “Mirror... gotta be a mirror in this place...”
It took falling down some steps, maybe not literally, but with a few stumbles, but eventually he found a mirror down in the trunk of the tree, in one of the side rooms. Not a full mirror, just a mirror above a cabinet, but he walked into the room, soft green eyes widening in surprise at the monochrome pony in the mirror. Green fur and green eyes, volumnuous, raven black hair cascading around his triangular ears. He hadn’t even thought to look at his tail yet.
“Why the fuck am I Filly Anon?” he, or, she declared, walking up to the tall cabinet. Tall because she was no doubt short and diminutive like a filly, like Filly Anon. She had to climb up onto the cabinet with her forelegs to see herself face to face in it. There was no way she’d be coordinated enough to get her ass up there to check out her genitals, but it was more than obvious just looking at her face. From the sharp bridge to her rounded nose, to the soft eyelashes lining each of her shocked looking eyes, she was a girl. And the fact that she was obviously Filly Anon, who’s a filly for obvious reasons.
Her face tensed up in what might have been a smile if it wasn’t so nerve wracking to think about it. “So I’m a... heh... girl...” she said uneasily, trying not to think of all the times she wanted to impregnate one. Opening her mouth to look at her teeth she then said, “Herbivore, I guess. At least they’re not brown and yellow horse teeth. Horse teeth are fucking—”
She cut off with a wince, looking around above her nervously, “Fluffing ugly,” she concluded uneasily. She needed to get out of here, before this tree figured out just who she was. The door out was closed, of course, with a knob that she had no idea how anypony was expected to turn, except unicorns. So she had to make her way up to the second floor again, then inch down the curving staircase to the outside.
Once her hooves were on dirt again, she looked back and said, "Thanks fam. I'm gonna... uh, see if there's a road out of here, and if not then I might be back. Nice to uh... well nice to meet you."
Then she turned forward, and made her way back to the broken wall. Squeezing around it, she slowed even more as she approached... the rope bridge. Shit. "Guess I'll cross that bridge when I—wait no," she started to say wryly, then stopped. "I'll come to it later," she said grumpily, then started walking along the gorge cut into the earth.
The grass felt moist under her hooves as she walked along the curving ridge in the predawn air. To her left there were crumbling walls of a once mighty edifice, erected for purposes of amusing pratfalls for young princesses. Or something. Far more than just that courtyard, it was a whole complex, with pallisades and towers, and she didn't really give a fuck because it looked awesome, but it wasn't going to get rid of that unnervingly receptive-feeling rear-end bobbing along behind her, and give her a nice comforting unimpregnatable dick back.
"Does this mean I'm trans, now? Fuck..." she groaned, eyeing the jungle across the gorge for any suspicious movements. There were a few shitty jungle tree like things around on her side, but mostly just ruins. She also eyed the ruins for any suspicious movement. The only thing she saw were birds fluttering around the ancient eaves. Some orange... furry thing came out of the jungle at one point, but it didn't even look at her as she stared frozen at it, until it crawled back into the underbrush again. Some kind of ape... tiger thing? She didn't recognize it to say the least.
It seemed like she'd been walking forever, when she came across a rope bridge across the chasm. The same rope bridge. "Why would they build a giant fucking ditch around this whole fucking castle?!" she shouted in an angry squeal that might have been appropriate coming from a little girl who didn't want to go to bed yet. Then she sunk her haunches to the grass again, remarking, "Oh yeah."
She sat a good distance from the rope bridge, peering down the trail beyond it, trying to see if it was in any way leading to Ponyville. She had to find out why Princess Twilight was in her window, even if it was just to perv on some human. So it was either cross the rope bridge and follow the path on the other side, and hope that it led all the way straight to Ponyville, or....
Squeezing into the courtyard again, she grumbled, "I'm back, sorry. That bridge is... I'm scared of a ffforking rope bridge, because I'm some kind of little girl pony who can't even walk barely. I just wanna... wait and see if anyone comes to visit you before I try to go off on my own, 'k?"
The tree palace did not answer, but she didn't figure it would. Magical plot device trees just love being all mysterious and shit. So she silently made her way up the stairs, got another drink from a puddle, then went exploring around the inside of it, trying to get an idea of what's what. There was a second level above the main lounge, with three sets of stairs leading up to different vantage points on the tree, which would have made more sense if you could see past the courtyard walls.
There were closets full of blankets which she really should’ve checked before falling asleep, but her fur kept her warm enough. A whole bunch of dry snacks sealed up in tupperware of some sort. So at least she wouldn’t starve, if she could get these things open that is. There was a large room down the stairs into the trunk of the tree, with branches leading off to several smaller rooms, one of which had an honest to fucking goodness camp stove set up on a counter, with a sealed box to the right that released a rush of cold air when she pulled the lid open, finding some fresh fruit and vegetables and stuff in it.
It took some doing, but she managed to get the mirror off the wall in that other room without smashing it to pieces. Mostly by biting it and wiggling until she could work it off its wall supports, then dragging it back with her to the floor. “Alright,” she said intensely, “Let’s see that candy vag.”
Standing butt-first to the mirror, she looked back and saw the reflection of her thick ebony black tail, which was still dragging around behind her annoyingly, because she didn’t know how to move it. “Well fuck,” she said dispassionately, “Okay, uh...”
She figured it out eventually. Laying on her back with her tail flat out beneath her, hugging the mirror in her hind legs, she could see reflected in it... herself.
“...cock goes where?” she remarked softly, seeing a filly in the mirror with a look of surprise and wonder, and right up close to the mirror, a filly’s crotch. “Fuck, that is a...” she said, seeing a prominent slit of green furred labia, right above a little puckered anus, and then the green fleshy dock of her ebony black tail.
She tried touching the slit again, feeling... weird as she did so. “Can I... squish my hoof into the slit?” she asked in confusion, wiggling her forelegs down there, pressing the furry side of it into where her entrance surely must be. She pulled her hoof away and tried spreading herself instead, and that worked.
A hoof tugging on a buttcheek, and her little pussy opened easily, with a tingly sort of separating feeling in her pelvis, and those pussy lips opening on one side to stretch out all pinkly, where her normal external labia were as green as the rest of her, albeit maybe a little less furry. “I heh... hope ponies don’t heh, shave down there,” she said anxiously, “It’s a fucking... pussy wow. It even feels like a fucking pussy.” She squeezed her legs together, trying to feel the labia compress against each other, then spread herself with both hooves, trying to feel what it was like when they separated. It felt so... important down there.
“Can I put fucking dildoes into me?” she wondered, “Doesn’t it hurt for girls or something? Fuck, I never even seen one of these vaginas before, and now I’m supposed to use it?”
She looked at herself one more time in the mirror, then stood up, letting her tail drop down in the way, shaking her head and saying, “You know what? I’m not in any hurry. I bet I could totally blow my mind if I got a dick inside me before anything else.”
She frowned then, remarking in her totally cute an quirky voice, “So I’m just gonna start fucking dicks? It’s fucking gay, but I don’t see why not. Long as no one finds out I’m really a...”
She trailed off, glancing overhead. “The walls have ears, heh,” she murmured, “Sorry, that’s gonna stay private. For now I’m gonna be this... girl with a pussy. Doesn’t seem to be going away, at least.”
She looked back at her ebony black tail entirely hiding her goods because she couldn’t figure out how to move it. “I wonder...” she said, reaching behind herself to scratch her hoof into the small of her back. It was a tickly jolt that went through her at that, which made her tail jerk right up in the air.
“Ha ha ponies are cats,” she said, looking at her slowly drooping tail in disbelief, then scratching right above her own ass. It jerked right back up again, in bobbing clenches of... something in her back?
“So are tails horse tails, or are they Pinkie Pie tails?” she asked. Her tail didn’t answer. With some work though, she could twitch it up enough to see her slit again. “How the hell am I gonna not get pregnant like this?” she murmured, “Could I get pregnant? I can’t even imagine pushing a kid out of that crotch.” Touching herself with a hoof didn’t reveal any secret instinctive knowledge of what birth feels like, only a sort of calming soothing feeling.
“Can I even cum?” she asked skeptically. Certainly not by rubbing her junk with an ordinary hoof. “You got any ideas?” she called out over her head. The shining crystal walls revealed to her no secrets.
She waddled through the rooms of this place, looking down at her hooves pressing into the floor, and it was just... weirdly amazing. She’d lift a hoof and put it down, and it’d just... press into the floor. Like a hoof. She’d never had a hoof, but it felt so sturdy, and stable, and natural. “Hate those fics where they can’t figure out how to use her body,” she told her hooves gratefully. “Can’t believe I’m fucking Filly Anon. I mean I totally am, personality wise, I guess. Except for the hating being a girl part. I am so fucking green, and this fur is just...”
She tried licking a leg, like a cat, and she definitely felt fur on her tongue, and a tongue on her fur. Kind of short, dense fur like a uh... like a horse though. She wondered if it would look shiny in the right light. “At least they got chips here,” she said with a note of worry, “Don’t wanna poison myself with grass until I learn if I’m horse enough to eat it, or if there are poisonous kinds. At least I won’t be eating poison joke, but who knows what else is growing out here?”
She didn’t find anything that vibrated, to try out non-penetrative type stuff, but did have some success humping a pillow.
“Nnh...” she murmured softly, hugging the thing in her forelegs while sliding her nethers along it, back and forth, back and forth. It made her feel really tickly and... bubbly, and kind of disconcerted. She didn’t mind that weird fluttery goosebumps feeling in her belly, and she was gratified to notice that her nether lips were starting to moisten the pillow with a kind of slippery goo coming out of her. It was... nice to think that her passage in there was all ready to make some colt feel incredible. It filled her with a sense of power, that she had something others loved that she could finally share, instead of having a dick that would have probably made a girl feel mildly uncomfortable until she put up with it enough to impregnate herself.
She didn’t feel like she wouldn’t enjoy a dick in there, but she wasn’t getting huge urges to stuff penises into her, either. It did... kind of feel like masturbating, but it also made her feel... worried. “Man, I don’t... I don’t know about being a girl,” she said, stopping and looking at her tickly entrance continuing to drool girl goo onto the pillow, “Can I even masturbate without... getting nervous? It’s trying to make me not just... take the first dick I see, but...”
She lay against the pillow with a huff instead, looking idly between her legs, saying, “I don’t wanna be that fucking girl. I wanna be... the one who’s okay with that shit. The girl who could’ve... made me so fucking happy before... everything just went all wrong. Am I just stuck being a loser no matter what’s between my legs? It’s trying to make me be careful, but I don’t wanna be careful. Fuck...”
The only answer her groin had for her was a growing urge to pee. Smiling, she said, “Well that should be simple enough.”
She lay sideways, and stood up that way again. Then she... made her way up and down the stairs, and her girl bits were starting to hurt from holding it in by the time she got past those stairs. “Dammit—” she said, leaking a little, “I don’t have a f-fucking dick. It’s just... wants to... just leaking out. Forgot how easy it was for girls to go.”
She headed some ways away from the crystal treehouse, then her tail lifted on its own when she finally relaxed to try and go pee. “A-ahhh,” she said in fascinated relief as piss started to spatter on the ground behind her, “Fuck, it’s just... coming out of me. Someone chopped off my dick and... it just comes out the hole. Ungh...”
She looked between her own legs, but other than the stream of urine shakily cascading down as her body adjusted to the new position, she couldn’t really see what her junk was doing. “I am so fucking gross,” she said gigglishly, shifting her butt left and right to paint the urine all along the stone wall she was up against.
She ran out of pee then, and in pushing the last bit out, she started flexing... something back there. It was like when she flexed the base of her penis to get the last bit out, but just... sort of... flexing her... belly as well? No stiff penis hung between her legs, to jerk with every flex. She just... flexed her belly, but also what should’ve been her dick.
“I dunno what my stuff is doing,” she said, turning to face the wall, “But at least I know how to pee.”
A slight sniff, and she thought better of it, heading away from the urine coated wall to let the ammonia smell evaporate. Seems filly pee wasn’t all that different from human pee. “Wonder how much I’m gonna have to eat before I have to shit,” she pondered, a little unsettled by the experience, but also a little more... comfortable about what was between her legs. She knew how that part of being a girl worked, at least. “Now all I have to do is take some giant dick,” she remarked wryly, “And then give birth, and I’ll have that girl anatomy mastered. Wonder if there’s books here about it. Heh... I’ll just go to the sex section of Twi’s library and start reading about how to understand how men think, as well as dicks. Maybe they have a what’s happening to my body book for fillies?”
As she approached the crystal treehouse, she said in dissatisfaction, “Not even sure I’m old enough for that book. If I’m Filly Anon, then I’m gonna be a filly. Which means I can have sex without getting pregnant, but it’s harder to get horny. And do I have a fucking hymen? Have to take care of that pronto.”
The green filly climbed the stairs to the treehouse, up to the level that could see over the walls, to the Everfree forest beyond. “You know,” she mused, staring over the balcony into the forest, “If I get sex out of this, somehow, it’ll be all thanks to you for just... keeping me safe and uneaten, and not killing me.”
The treehouse didn’t answer, but she didn’t need it to.
“When I woke up like this, I thought that was it,” she said bleakly, “Didn’t think I was gonna make it, but I managed to find you, and... and maybe shit won’t suck as much from now on. I might be able to get some real friends, thanks to you, ponies I can... trust with anything, even my vagina. So, thanks... Harmony. You don’t have to answer. I just wanted to thank you.”
It was probably the wind caressing the structure, but she thought she might have heard some sweet wordless singing sound in response.