“My wings!!!”
“Oh, yes. Well, technically you’re part demon, now.”
“Wings!”
“Calm down, Dash!”
“Wiiiings!”
“Rainbow, stop crying, they still work fine. They’re just—Rainbow Dash!”
...
“This is why you don’t make pacts with demons. Demonic magic is just so darned contagious. One slip, and you have an altered body, or mind, and... well... you’re lucky that your wings are all that changed, really, considering how much you did slip.”
“How is having wings like this lucky?”
“Well, your vagina may have remained permanently as large as it got when, you know...”
“...point taken.”
“So, as a demon, you’ll have to register, and you might be ineligible for some occupations.”
“I can’t join the Wonderbolts?!”
“No, that’s fine. Your stunt flying should be... well I can’t say until you’ve tested it, but you should be fine. For your particular demonism, I’d say you probably won’t be working as a marriage counselor any time soon.”
“Why’s that then?”
“Rainbow, you’re a succubus.”
“Okay... rude.”
“What?”
“I don’t suck anypony’s bus. What are you talking about?”
“It’s a demonism. Succubi, the plural of succubus, are a type of demon who gain power from sexual energy. Considering your particular... experience, the chance that you landed with anything other than that is pretty moot.”
“So, what’s that mean? I’m good at sex now?”
“That’s one way to put it. Succubi don’t become marriage counselors, because generally the job of those counselors is to get the couple fucking each other, not the marriage counselor.”
“Oh, so—”
“Yes, a love demon gains power from other ponies having sex, but a sex demon is a more er, participatory role. Think of it like a free performance boost, I guess?”
“Wait, that doesn’t count as performance enhancing magic?”
“Yes, it does. Why—oh.”
“I could get disqualified from racing!”
“The Element of Loyalty also qualifies as performance enhancing magic, I should add.”
“B-but I had that since—”
“And a zap pregnancy.”
“What the hay is that?”
“It’s what happens when a mare consumes large amounts of Zap Apple jam while pregnant.”
“So, what does that have to do with me?”
TS: “...never mind. You’re fine. Just report diligently, and they can check before the race to make sure you aren’t stuffed full of sex magic, er, figuratively speaking that is.”
TS: “Actually would that be figurative?”
RD: “So, okay I... the demon thing made me really good at sex. I get that. I mean seriously, you shoulda seen those ponies they were going to town on me like I was the only bicycle in Equestria.”
TS: “Er, if it continues to be that bad you might have a problem... you weren’t consciously seducing them, were you?”
RD: “No, does that make a difference?”
TS: “If it’s passive, then it must have been temporary.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I’m feeling no urge to fuck you right now.”
“...rude.”
“Stop pouting. You’re perfectly fine.”
“How do you know so much about demons anyway?”
TS: “Er, would you believe I read about it in a book?”
RD: “What’s the unladen speed average of the 731st chapter of the Wonderbolts?”
TS: “I don’t... know?”
RD: “But it’s in a book! Surely you read about that too?”
TS: “I can’t... read every...book, fine. I’m part demon too, okay? Happy?”
RD: “Uh... what?”
TS: “When I was a very little filly, I wanted to attend the university in Canterlot, because of the private library they had. It wasn’t a very mature decision. I used to be very poor at magic, for unicorns my age at least. I needed to become better at magic, to be admitted. So I practiced really hard, barely achieved 2.5 horn power, and never was admitted, living the rest of my life as some nopony in Canterlot and never achieving anything.”
RD raises a hoof
TS: “Or maybe I found a book that shouldn’t have been in the public library, about ancient draconic legends, ended up summoning a demonic dragon of knowledge and magic, who had been cast from this world for his unethical practices regarding dragon reproduction.”
RD: “Uhhh...”
TS: “And maybe that filly asked for powerful magic, and in exchange she would bring a new dragon to life. Maybe she didn’t learn that his unethical practices involved using demonic magic to convert other species into hosts, until long after everypony had completely panicked and she was absolutely traumatized by what was happening to her. Maybe she didn’t expect that she’d be laying an egg at age 5!”
RD: “Twilight you’re scaring me.”
TS: “It was the size of my freaking torso! Bahumat, you utter bastard!”
RD: “S-so....”
TS: “Yes, I am technically a registered um... demon. It doesn’t manifest in anything other than much more powerful magic, a slight curve to my horn, and certain draconic er, tendancies. And Spike. I would qualify as a chimaeral demon, one embodying more the element of change than sex. Changeling touched, they call it. But I am still a perfectly normal pony, and I am a pony just like any other pony. I can still live a mostly normal life. And without it, I wouldn’t have been ready to take on the element of Magic! Also, Spike.”
RD: “You’re Spike’s...”
TS: “I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t spread it around. It’s for his sake really. Imagine if your dragon buddies found out that your mother was a little pony?”
TS: “See, this is what I’m talking about. If ponies would laugh, then dragons would laugh harder, and his fragile little ego would be so crushed. Rainbow, stop laughing. Rainbow, I swear Rainbow, if you use this knowledge to hurt Spike, I swear I am going to—!”
RD: (squeaks)
TS: “...be very disappointed in you.”
...
“So why are you some kind of change demon, if I changed too, to be all like this?”
“It’s a more continual sort of thing. All demonic magic can change you, but I was changed into something that could change, while you remained a pony. A very distorted pony, but still a pony. I mean—it’s not complicated. Haven’t you ever seen my hair turn into fire?”
“Oh. I thought that was just metaphorical.”
“What?”
“What?”
...