> You dig around in the pile of boxes, tossing an onion to Aria
> "Like hell am I going to chop an onion."
> You find what you are looking for, and straighten up
"Even if I do the carrots and the potatoes?"
> She scowls at you
> "You just want to see me cry."
> What a ridic-
> Okay, now that she mentions it...
> Eh, not worth the trouble
"Fine, I'll do the onion, you do the carrots."
> "That's more like it."
> You roll your eyes, and set about preparing a cooking area
> Two cutting boards, some knives, some peelers, aluminum foil, that's about everything
> For a time the only sounds are the rustling of the trees, the whittling away of the vegetable peeler, and the careful cuts of your knife
"Agh, curse you, onion!"
> You step back, your eyes watering from the fumes
> Aria smirks at you
> "Stop being a baby, what's a little sulfuric acid in your eyes?"
> You motion to the cutting board
"You want to do this? No? Then kindly shut up, miss 'I don't want to cry'."
> She taps her chin with the vegetable peeler
> "I'm gonna level with you here. I just want to watch you cry, I don't particularly care why you do it. So get back in there and make me some delicious tears."
"Pretty weird fetish you got there."
> Aria rolls her eyes
> "You have no idea."
> Steeling yourself, you return to dicing the onion 
> Manly tears later, you are done
> Looks like the carrots are done too
"Looks like we split the potatoes."
> She grunts an affirmative
> You set about the tedious business of washing, carving, and chopping potatoes
> Normally you'd go into a zen-state to deal with the boredom, but you have options now
"So do you have any fetishes other than..."
> You can't help but shudder
> "Mr. R? Yeah, I got a few. Why, you volunteering?"
> You shrug
"Maybe. Depends on the fetish."
> She smirks at that
> "Alright. I got rough sex, bondage, rape, snuff, necrophilia, bleeding, castration, vore, "
> It just goes on and on
> Terms you only recognize from the darker threads of /d/
> "Zombie gangbang, wound fucking, infections, corruption, waffle irons,"
> In self defense, you idly imagine you are Forrest Gump, on the receiving end of Bubba's shrimp talk
> Just chop the vegetables and let the darkness flow on by
> "Anal fissures, and consensual sex in the missionary position solely for the purpose of procreation."
"Wait, what about that last one?"
> Aria shrugs
> "A girl's got to be into some kinky stuff."
> ...
> You didn't really listen for most of the list, but you doubt it would make a difference
"Yeah, that's the only one I could really get into. But I have to ask, where does Mr. Rogers fit into all of this?"
> She gazes down into her memories, the knife held loose in her hand
> "I wasn't always...as happy as I am now.  I tried to stop eating."
> Oh
> "I stayed inside, played nice with the girls, tried everything I could do to avoid conflict."
> Oh yeah, they do sorta feed on that
> "Mister Roger's Neighborhood was the most calming thing, I thought it would kill me. I must have spent days, watching reruns of that old man."
> She tucks a bit of hair behind her ear and smiles fondly
> "He taught me to love myself, and to find the little joys in life. You ever been so depressed, all you do is masturbate?"
> What
"Not...really."
> "I was. Then Adagio decided to put her foot down, and took away my videos. I got so angry, I beat the everloving shit out her. That's when I realized, I like being angry, I like being violent, and that is enough for me to keep on living."
"That's almost inspirational."
> "Isn't it though? Did you know I hugged him, once?"
"Really?"
> "Had to change my panties afterwards, but yeah. Good times."
> You just stare at purple panda
> She comes back to herself, and grins at you
> "Enough about that. Let's mutilate these vegetables."
> With a chuckle, you get back to work.
> The ground beef gets portioned out, then the vegetables, and the two of you double wrap it all in foil
> You stand by her side, proudly gazing upon the misshapen lumps in the fire
"We did good today, partner."
> "You're such a dork."
> She punches you in the arm, hard
> As you rub away the pain, you wonder if this is how she shows interest
> Perhaps it's time for some body armor