>Be kidanon
>Be doing kid stuff in your neighbors treehouse.
>You and your friends recently founded the Cootie Containment Agency.
>Our mission: To search and destroy all sources of cooties with extreme prejudice.
>A couple weeks ago three girls moved into your neighborhood.
>The girls in question are under suspicion of brainwashing teenagers with the cootie virus.
>Two scouts have gone missing: presumed grounded or dead.
>Commander Red has trusted in you to complete the case and has authorized use of force.
>Cootie status: Suicidal
>Super soaker in hand, you steel your nerves and accept your mission.
>Under the cover of night, you sneak from yard to yard closer to their base of operations.
>From the backyard fence you see the backdoor light on accompanied by shadowy figures roaming about in the windows.
>You hop the fence.
>Upon landing behind a tree, your backpack slips off as you search for your ammunition.
>Eggs and water guns are the only defence against cooties.
>Your objective is to egg their windows and doors to contain the infection.
>As you open your moms carton of eggs, you hear a metallic clicking sound.
>The back door opens and two girls step out.
>They know.
>You hold your breath while hidden in the shadows.
>Adagios voice can be heard talking to what you believe is Aria.
>Your heart is racing. What if you're discovered?
>There's no telling what they'll do to you!
>Clenching your Super Soaker for dear life, you take a peek.
>They're smoking cigarettes! 
>This isn't good. Rule 6 states that all officers must eliminate cigarettes on sight.
>You always hated that stupid rule! So many weeks of detention.
>I can't chicken out now. I have to be strong. Dad shoots bad guys all the time.
>Your lungs fill up with fresh air.
"Just be brave Anon. You can do it."
>You radio in to command about the offence.
>Commander Red responds predictably: destroy tobacco.
>With the solemn grace of a gladiator before battle, you clench your weapon and face them.
"STOP! IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!"

>Both you and Aria had no idea of their unexpected visitors presence.
>Yet there he stood. No more than three feet tall, sporting a toy badge and a water gun of some sort.
>If you were in a better mood you may have played along with him.
>But after tonight all you want to do is be left in peace.
>"What do YOU want?" Aria sneered before taking a puff.
>The kids water gun was shaking. His face beet red.
>"D-DROP THE CIGARETTE OR I WILL BE FORCED TO SHOOT!"
>You could hear the fear in his voice.
>Poor kids hands were trembling so bad you couldn't tell if his gun was trained on you or Aria.
"Shouldn't you be in bed, little boy?"
>Aria takes a step closer to him.
>He takes two steps back.
>"Yeah you don't want to be grounded do you?"
>The boys back meets the tree.
>He shoulders his little toy rifle, which helps tone down the trembling.
>"D-dead or alive, y-your cig-garettes are coming with me!"
>What is this kids problem?
"Go home little boy before someone gets in trouble."
>"I'm... not LITTLE!"
>A wave of watery fury descends on you.
>Before you could react, both of you are drenched from from your hair to your night gown.
>You could only stare at the boy. All notions of mercy have been washed away with your smokes.
"Oh hell no..."
>You run to catch him but are met with a fac>Be kidanon
>Be doing kid stuff in your neighbors treehouse.
>You and your friends recently founded the Cootie Containment Agency.
>Our mission: To search and destroy all sources of cooties with extreme prejudice.
>A couple weeks ago three girls moved into your neighborhood.
>The girls in question are under suspicion of brainwashing teenagers with the cootie virus.
>Two scouts have gone missing: presumed grounded or dead.
>Commander Red has trusted in you to complete the case and has authorized use of force.
>Cootie status: Suicidal
>Super soaker in hand, you steel your nerves and accept your mission.
>Under the cover of night, you sneak from yard to yard closer to their base of operations.
>From the backyard fence you see the backdoor light on accompanied by shadowy figures roaming about in the windows.
>You hop the fence.
>Upon landing behind a tree, your backpack slips off as you search for your ammunition.
>Eggs and water guns are the only defence against cooties.
>Your objective is to egg their windows and doors to contain the infection.
>As you open your moms carton of eggs, you hear a metallic clicking sound.
>The back door opens and two girls step out.
>They know.
>You hold your breath while hidden in the shadows.
>Adagios voice can be heard talking to what you believe is Aria.
>Your heart is racing. What if you're discovered?
>There's no telling what they'll do to you!
>Clenching your Super Soaker for dear life, you take a peek.
>They're smoking cigarretes! 
>This isn't good. Rule 6 states that all officers must eliminate cigarettes on sight.
>You always hated that stupid rule! So many weeks of detention.
>I can't chicken out now. I have to be strong. Dad shoots bad guys all the time.
>Your lungs fill up with fresh air.
"Just be brave Anon. You can do it."
>You radio in to command about the offence.
>Commander Red responds predictably: destroy tobacco.
>With the solumn grace of a gladiator before battle, you clench your weapon and face them.
"STOP! IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!"

>Both you and Aria had no idea of their unexpected visitors presence.
>Yet there he stood. No more than three feet tall, sporting a toy badge and a water gun of some sort.
>If you were in a better mood you may have played along with him.
>But after tonight all you want to do is be left in peace.
>"What do YOU want?" Aria sneered before taking a puff.
>The kids water gun was shaking. His face beet red.
>"D-DROP THE CIGARRETTE OR I WILL BE FORCED TO SHOOT!"
>You could hear the fear in his voice.
>Poor kids hands were trembling so bad you couldn't tell if his gun was trained on you or Aria.
"Shouldn't you be in bed, little boy?"
>Aria takes a step closer to him.
>He takes two steps back.
>"Yeah you don't want to be grounded do you?"
>The boys back meets the tree.
>He shoulders his little toy rifle, whichs helps tone down the trembling.
>"D-dead or alive, y-your cig-garettes are coming with me!"
>What is this kids problem?
"Go home little boy before someone gets in trouble."
>"I'm... not LITTLE!"
>A wave of watery fury descends on you.
>Before you could react, both of you are drenched from from your hair to your night gown.
>You could only stare at the boy. All notions of mercy have been washed away with your smokes.
"Oh hell no..."
>You run to catch him but are met with a faceful of water.
>Kidanon quickly throws his water gun over the fence before hopping over himself.
>As you clear the last amounts of water from your eyes you see Aria running up to him.
"Quick grab his legs!"
>You each catch hold of his legs as he holds on to the wired fence.
>"Let go of me!" he shouts while kicking at you.
>With a good yank he loses his grip and you quickly grab hold of him.
>"You're gonna pay for that you little brat!"
>While wrestling him to the ground, the boy bites Aria's hand.
>As, she yelps in pain, he squirms out of your grasp and bolts to the back door.
"Damn it. Aria run to the front yard before he gets away."
>Screw you, the little bastard bit me!"
"Ugh. Baby." you mutter

>Mission Status: Compromised
>You are behind enemy lines now running through their house.
>In a stroke of prebubestent genius, you throw open the front door and quietly dash down the doorway.
>You catch sounds of a beautiful melody coming from the girls bathroom.
>Upon closer inspection, your ears pick up showering sounds.
>Perfect. The report stated there was only three.
>Having no time to perform enie meanie minie mo, you roll into a random room.
>Dang it! Rolling was not the smartest course of action.
>You bump your head on the side door and fight back the tears as you crawl under the bed.
>One moment later the shower stops, and sounds of dripping can be heard from your hiding space.
>"Hello?" a serene voice asks from the hallway.
>You cover your mouth with your hands.
>Adrenaline terror roared through your veins as you try in vain to contain yourself.
>Sounds of footsteps lead to the bedroom. The door gently opens as a smell of shampoo pour into the room.
>Be calm. Just be calm.
>The footsteps land close to the edge of her bed. Nothing but the sound of her breathing now.
>You could almost hear her face stretch into confusion.
>"Dagi? Aria? Where are you guys?"
>Thirty agonizing seconds later, she leaves the room.
>You have just survived an encounter with Sonata Dusk.
>You desperately search for your radio. Thankfully you always kept it in your back pocket.
>The dial screen glows blue as it display your commanders channel.
"Command this is Red Leader. I need help."
Silence follows the brief moment of static leaving your walkie talkie.
>Corporal Conan answers your call.
>"Roger Red Leader. What's wrong man?"
>You quickly turn down the volume and plug your earphone in.
"I'm behind enemy lines and out of ammo. I need back up." you whisper.
>"....What?"
"I need someone to rescue me!" you whisper harshly.
>"Oh. Dude its after midnight, your gonna have to wait till tomorrow."
"What? I might be dead by then!"
>"Sorry man. Command out."
>It's just me now.

>God damn it, he escaped.
>Must've ran out the front door so fast I couldn't catch him.
>Or maybe he's hiding?
>"I found his backpack next to this egg carton.We were gonna get egged. Again."
That's the third time with three different kids.
Who the hell is putting them up to this?
"His paper ID said he was from the 'Cootie Containment Agency'. 
>Aria set down the boys things next to his water gun on the kitchen counter.
>"What are cooties? Seriously, what do cooties do?"
"How would I know? I think its some kind of smell."
>"Why is there a 10 year old boy in my bedroom?"
>Sonata fresh out of the shower stops in front of the kitche counter.
>A very faint gasp came from somewhere inside the house.
>You smile.
"Well girls, lets grab us a little boy."
>"And do what exactly?" Aria frowned.
>"Boil all the eggs and force feed it to him? We need to scare him."
>Although that would be amusing, she does have a point.
>But how does one scare a boy without hurting him?
>"Hey! Is that the kid who throws eggs at us?" 
>Sonatas eyes were locked on the egg carton.
>"Just make him clean it up then! I'm tired of washing the house while you get to relax!"
"We have jobs Sonata."
>"And?" Sonata quips before unleashing the poutiest pout to ever pout the earth.
'He didn't egg the house, you were spared that. But I do have a plan."
>"Does it involve eating him?" Aria quippedwhile playing with his water gun.
>Your smile spreads wider.
"Actually yes."

>You've been hiding under a bed for almost an hour now.
>Despite the adrenaline and half an hour on your DS, you're beyond bored.
>Hey being an agent saving the world has its downtime.
>Your stomach rumbles. Could really use a tuna sandwich right about now.
>If your bed had a radio, you could hear it calling to you.
>Wow hiding under a strangers bed is worse than being grounded.
>This sucks-
>The door swings open.
>A pair of blue feet travel toward you.
>One on them buckles down and a blue knee takes its place.
>This is it. I've been discovered.
>A sandwich accompaqnied by a glass of milk sit on the paper plate in front of you.
>A couple seconds later a note also appears and Sonata crawls unto her be
>The added mass bears dow on the boxspring, saving you from being smushed.
>Is this a peace offering or her midnight snack?
>Your stomach wishes to accept the offering but you resist.
>Holding on to the faint hope of being undected you remain vigilant.
>"Eat. Don't be afraid."
>But i'm already afraid.
>Well there goes being undectected.
>You reluctanly accept and crawl foward to read the note.
>'Come out. You are safe. They don't know you are here. I will protect you."
>I can't trust the enemy. They're just trying to soft me up!
>But what choice do I have?
>And I am kinda hungry.
>Mental note: Inform command to spare the blue one upon my imminent rescue.


>You give her the benefit of the doubt and crawl out from under her bed.
>Dang this milk is delicious. And the pb&j isn't bad either.
>Sonata lays there and watches you from atop her padded throne. 
"I still don't trust you."
>She smirks as you enjoy your mission lunch break.
>"Maybe now's not the best time to tell you I put my cooties in it."
>You spit out the containments of your mouth and stare at her.
>She giggles at you before responding.
>"Geez I was just kidding! You really hate cooties don't you?"
>You muster the dirtiest look a 9 year old is capable of.
"Yes!"
>Sonata hides her giggling under the covers as you wash out the cootie remains with milk.
>Having lost your appetite, you lay down on the floor to rest your eyes.
>The cold, unforgiving floor.
>"Hey you can sleep with me if you like."
"No thank you."
>I can sleep on the floor like a grown up thank you very much.
>But before you feel asleep you feel Sonatas hands pick you up.
>You struggle in vein. Tiredness defeated your will to fight.
>As the end drew near, you are enveloped into a coccoon of snuggles and comfort.
>You silently blame the milk as it betrayed you at your time of need.
>Sonata tucks you in under the covers.
>Her arms wrap around you as you settle into being the little spoon.
>"Sleep tight." she whispers into your ear.
>Jokes on her. You're a rough sleeper.
>You arm yourself with your backup gun as your mind slips into oblivion.

>Carrots, potatoes, peas and squash.
>A breakfast of champions.
>You stir the large pot with a metal ladle while carrying a tune.
>Now all it needs is a little meat.
>"That's the last knot." Aria informs you.
>You turn around in your white apron and tickle anons chin with a wooden spoon.
"Wake up sleepyhead."
>Anons stirs in his sleep. It's amazing the boy didn't wake up when moving him.
>In a way he looks kind of cute tied up like that.
>"Anon, wake up." You speak softly.
>His eyelids flutter. He tries to move but finds himself bound to the kitchen chair.
>Anon struggles but its no use. Your not ready to let him go just yet.
>"Sleep well little guy?" 
>A wide awake anon strains his neck to face Sonata sitting at the kichen table.
>"I trusted you!"
>She delivers a lazy smile with her head propped up with her arm.
"Never trust a girl, sweetheart." 
>You resume stirring the pot as anon processes this information.
>"Why am I tied up? What do you want from me?"
>Aria sighs.
>"We're gonna cook you. Duh."
>"WHAT!?" he screams while struggling even harder to get free.
"Pfft Aria, don't be so mean to him." you quip.
"You're going to be a part of us, of course. After you tell me where your "Cootie Containment Agency' is."
>You could feel the boys eyes grow wide in suspense while you keep stirring.
>"I'll never tell you!" he shouts triumpathly.
>Poor anon. If only you knew how many better men muttered those words before me.
"Such a splended sense of humor. Pity I don't have one."
>You cease cooking and proceed to pat him on the head.
>The boy reels away from your touch. Defiant till the end I see.
"I have to ask though. You risk your life to contain cooties, but do you know what cooties do?"
>His eyes are fixated to the ground.
>You kneel to the ground and lock eyes with him.
"Cooties turn little boys into little girls."
>"No..."
"Oh yes. We've lost our ability to create cooties just recently, and we needed a little someone to restore our powers. And then you come along."
>You grin.
"How thoughtful of you."

>You've had enough of the cootie house of horrors.
>They turn you into a girl? Really?
>My god it makes so much sense!
>"Now please child, tell me where the CCA is."
>You muster the courage to resist this evil woman.
"I don't have to. They're coming to rescue me and you'll be sorry!"
>"Heh, really?"
>Aria moves to the side kitchen window and peeks through the blinds.
>"Hmmm nobody out there yet." she sneers. "They probably don't care about you."
>If you could move your hands you'd flip her the bird.
>"Typical of 'friends'." Sonata chimes in while admiring her fingernails.
>"They trick you into doing their dirty work but can't be found when you really need them."
>Well she wasn't wrong.
"I don't care! I can take you down all by myself!"
>I however was.
>Adagio almost doubles over laughing at you.
>"Child do you even know who we are?"
"All I know is your a bad bad girl. And I punish bad girls!"
>Now all of them are laughing at you.
>I don't get it. It sounded hardcore in my head.
>"You're too much, boy." Adagio goes on. "Pity you won't be a boy for long."
>You feel the ropes around your wrists loosen up.
>Aria and Sonata flank both your arms as Adagio approaches you with a needle.
"NO! Get that away from me!"
>You fight as hard as you can but its no use. They got you.
>Why does it have to be a needle?
>"In twenty minutes you'll be one of us. Then you won't have any problem telling me where your friends are hiding."
>Aria spreads out your arm on the kitchen counter while Sonata sticks a wet rag in your mouth.
>"Stop squirming or it'll hurt more!" 
"NEVER!" 
>It sounded more like "NRRPHRR!"

>A loud horn beeping from the front lawn catches their attention.
>My rescue! I knew you would come!
>You seize the moment and restle yourself free from their grasp.
>"After him." Adagio spoke in a creepily monotone voice.
>As her two henchmen give chase you roll under the table across from them.
>On the other side you grab your water gun and unleash the cleansing fluid as you nab your backpack and make your escape.
>Hard footsteps follow you towards the front door.
>You throw yourself against it hoping to break through.
>It didn't work.
>Still you manage to unlock the door and fling it open before they could grab you.
>The horn belongs to a school bus outside.
>Commander Red is honking the horn and gesturing you to hurry up.
>Your comrades provide cover fire from the bus and egg the dastardly devils giving you chase. 
>You take one last look at the scrambled aggressors before boarding.
>Mission Debrief is gonna have fun with this.

...

"No. Stop. Come back."
>You watch helplessly as Aria and Sonata face the brunt of the neighborhood childrens wrath.
>After kidanon safely boarded the bus it speeds off down the road.
>Well this has been an interesting morning.
>"Where the hell did that fucking bus come from?"
>You hand both of them a towel to clean themseves off. 
"I called it."
>Sonata reeks of yolk and confusion.
>"Huh?" 
>You facepalm.
"Ugh. I told his "commander" over the radio if my house gets egged again I'm calling the cops."
>You drop the turky baster back into the sink.
"Everything else was to tick Anon."
>Aria throws her towl at Sonata.
>"Yeah didn't you listen at all?"
>Sonata's pout comes back with a vengeance.
>"Aww I wanted a little sister to play with!"
>"Go fuck a hobo then you little tramp."
>There they go again.
>It's surreal that the damn ten year old was more mature then your two little idiots.
>You sigh to yourself as you watch them argue over more petty things.
>What would you ever do without them?eful of water.
>Kidanon quickly throws his water gun over the fence before hopping over himself.
>As you clear the last amounts of water from your eyes you see Aria running up to him.
"Quick grab his legs!"
>You each catch hold of his legs as he holds on to the wired fence.
>"Let go of me!" he shouts while kicking at you.
>With a good yank he loses his grip and you quickly grab hold of him.
>"You're gonna pay for that you little brat!"
>While wrestling him to the ground, the boy bites Aria's hand.
>As, she yelps in pain, he squirms out of your grasp and bolts to the back door.
"Damn it. Aria run to the front yard before he gets away."
>Screw you, the little bastard bit me!"
"Ugh. Baby." you mutter

>Mission Status: Compromised
>You are behind enemy lines now running through their house.
>In a stroke of prebubestent genius, you throw open the front door and quietly dash down the doorway.
>You catch sounds of a beautiful melody coming from the girls bathroom.
>Upon closer inspection, your ears pick up showering sounds.
>Perfect. The report stated there was only three.
>Having no time to perform enie meanie minie mo, you roll into a random room.
>Dang it! Rolling was not the smartest course of action.
>You bump your head on the side door and fight back the tears as you crawl under the bed.
>One moment later the shower stops, and sounds of dripping can be heard from your hiding space.
>"Hello?" a serene voice asks from the hallway.
>You cover your mouth with your hands.
>Adrenaline terror roared through your veins as you try in vain to contain yourself.
>Sounds of footsteps lead to the bedroom. The door gently opens as a smell of shampoo pour into the room.
>Be calm. Just be calm.
>The footsteps land close to the edge of her bed. Nothing but the sound of her breathing now.
>You could almost hear her face stretch into confusion.
>"Dagi? Aria? Where are you guys?"
>Thirty agonizing seconds later, she leaves the room.
>You have just survived an encounter with Sonata Dusk.
>You desperately search for your radio. Thankfully you always kept it in your back pocket.
>The dial screen glows blue as it display your commanders channel.
"Command this is Red Leader. I need help."
Silence follows the brief moment of static leaving your walkie talkie.
>Corporal Conan answers your call.
>"Roger Red Leader. What's wrong man?"
>You quickly turn down the volume and plug your earphone in.
"I'm behind enemy lines and out of ammo. I need back up." you whisper.
>"....What?"
"I need someone to rescue me!" you whisper harshly.
>"Oh. Dude its after midnight, your gonna have to wait till tomorrow."
"What? I might be dead by then!"
>"Sorry man. Command out."
>It's just me now.

>God damn it, he escaped.
>Must've ran out the front door so fast I couldn't catch him.
>Or maybe he's hiding?
>"I found his backpack next to this egg carton.We were gonna get egged. Again."
That's the third time with three different kids.
Who the hell is putting them up to this?
"His paper ID said he was from the 'Cootie Containment Agency'. 
>Aria set down the boys things next to his water gun on the kitchen counter.
>"What are cooties? Seriously, what do cooties do?"
"How would I know? I think its some kind of smell."
>"Why is there a 10 year old boy in my bedroom?"
>Sonata fresh out of the shower stops in front of the kitche counter.
>A very faint gasp came from somewhere inside the house.
>You smile.
"Well girls, lets grab us a little boy."
>"And do what exactly?" Aria frowned.
>"Boil all the eggs and force feed it to him? We need to scare him."
>Although that would be amusing, she does have a point.
>But how does one scare a boy without hurting him?
>"Hey! Is that the kid who throws eggs at us?" 
>Sonatas eyes were locked on the egg carton.
>"Just make him clean it up then! I'm tired of washing the house while you get to relax!"
"We have jobs Sonata."
>"And?" Sonata quips before unleashing the poutiest pout to ever pout the earth.
'He didn't egg the house, you were spared that. But I do have a plan."
>"Does it involve eating him?" Aria quippedwhile playing with his water gun.
>Your smile spreads wider.
"Actually yes."

>You've been hiding under a bed for almost an hour now.
>Despite the adrenaline and half an hour on your DS, you're beyond bored.
>Hey being an agent saving the world has its downtime.
>Your stomach rumbles. Could really use a tuna sandwich right about now.
>If your bed had a radio, you could hear it calling to you.
>Wow hiding under a strangers bed is worse than being grounded.
>This sucks-
>The door swings open.
>A pair of blue feet travel toward you.
>One on them buckles down and a blue knee takes its place.
>This is it. I've been discovered.
>A sandwich accompaqnied by a glass of milk sit on the paper plate in front of you.
>A couple seconds later a note also appears and Sonata crawls unto her be
>The added mass bears dow on the boxspring, saving you from being smushed.
>Is this a peace offering or her midnight snack?
>Your stomach wishes to accept the offering but you resist.
>Holding on to the faint hope of being undected you remain vigilant.
>"Eat. Don't be afraid."
>But i'm already afraid.
>Well there goes being undectected.
>You reluctanly accept and crawl foward to read the note.
>'Come out. You are safe. They don't know you are here. I will protect you."
>I can't trust the enemy. They're just trying to soft me up!
>But what choice do I have?
>And I am kinda hungry.
>Mental note: Inform command to spare the blue one upon my imminent rescue.


>You give her the benefit of the doubt and crawl out from under her bed.
>Dang this milk is delicious. And the pb&j isn't bad either.
>Sonata lays there and watches you from atop her padded throne. 
"I still don't trust you."
>She smirks as you enjoy your mission lunch break.
>"Maybe now's not the best time to tell you I put my cooties in it."
>You spit out the containments of your mouth and stare at her.
>She giggles at you before responding.
>"Geez I was just kidding! You really hate cooties don't you?"
>You muster the dirtiest look a 9 year old is capable of.
"Yes!"
>Sonata hides her giggling under the covers as you wash out the cootie remains with milk.
>Having lost your appetite, you lay down on the floor to rest your eyes.
>The cold, unforgiving floor.
>"Hey you can sleep with me if you like."
"No thank you."
>I can sleep on the floor like a grown up thank you very much.
>But before you feel asleep you feel Sonatas hands pick you up.
>You struggle in vein. Tiredness defeated your will to fight.
>As the end drew near, you are enveloped into a coccoon of snuggles and comfort.
>You silently blame the milk as it betrayed you at your time of need.
>Sonata tucks you in under the covers.
>Her arms wrap around you as you settle into being the little spoon.
>"Sleep tight." she whispers into your ear.
>Jokes on her. You're a rough sleeper.
>You arm yourself with your backup gun as your mind slips into oblivion.

>Carrots, potatoes, peas and squash.
>A breakfast of champions.
>You stir the large pot with a metal ladle while carrying a tune.
>Now all it needs is a little meat.
>"That's the last knot." Aria informs you.
>You turn around in your white apron and tickle anons chin with a wooden spoon.
"Wake up sleepyhead."
>Anons stirs in his sleep. It's amazing the boy didn't wake up when moving him.
>In a way he looks kind of cute tied up like that.
>"Anon, wake up." You speak softly.
>His eyelids flutter. He tries to move but finds himself bound to the kitchen chair.
>Anon struggles but its no use. Your not ready to let him go just yet.
>"Sleep well little guy?" 
>A wide awake anon strains his neck to face Sonata sitting at the kichen table.
>"I trusted you!"
>She delivers a lazy smile with her head propped up with her arm.
"Never trust a girl, sweetheart." 
>You resume stirring the pot as anon processes this information.
>"Why am I tied up? What do you want from me?"
>Aria sighs.
>"We're gonna cook you. Duh."
>"WHAT!?" he screams while struggling even harder to get free.
"Pfft Aria, don't be so mean to him." you quip.
"You're going to be a part of us, of course. After you tell me where your "Cootie Containment Agency' is."
>You could feel the boys eyes grow wide in suspense while you keep stirring.
>"I'll never tell you!" he shouts triumpathly.
>Poor anon. If only you knew how many better men muttered those words before me.
"Such a splended sense of humor. Pity I don't have one."
>You cease cooking and proceed to pat him on the head.
>The boy reels away from your touch. Defiant till the end I see.
"I have to ask though. You risk your life to contain cooties, but do you know what cooties do?"
>His eyes are fixated to the ground.
>You kneel to the ground and lock eyes with him.
"Cooties turn little boys into little girls."
>"No..."
"Oh yes. We've lost our ability to create cooties just recently, and we needed a little someone to restore our powers. And then you come along."
>You grin.
"How thoughtful of you."

>You've had enough of the cootie house of horrors.
>They turn you into a girl? Really?
>My god it makes so much sense!
>"Now please child, tell me where the CCA is."
>You muster the courage to resist this evil woman.
"I don't have to. They're coming to rescue me and you'll be sorry!"
>"Heh, really?"
>Aria moves to the side kitchen window and peeks through the blinds.
>"Hmmm nobody out there yet." she sneers. "They probably don't care about you."
>If you could move your hands you'd flip her the bird.
>"Typical of 'friends'." Sonata chimes in while admiring her fingernails.
>"They trick you into doing their dirty work but can't be found when you really need them."
>Well she wasn't wrong.
"I don't care! I can take you down all by myself!"
>I however was.
>Adagio almost doubles over laughing at you.
>"Child do you even know who we are?"
"All I know is your a bad bad girl. And I punish bad girls!"
>Now all of them are laughing at you.
>I don't get it. It sounded hardcore in my head.
>"You're too much, boy." Adagio goes on. "Pity you won't be a boy for long."
>You feel the ropes around your wrists loosen up.
>Aria and Sonata flank both your arms as Adagio approaches you with a needle.
"NO! Get that away from me!"
>You fight as hard as you can but its no use. They got you.
>Why does it have to be a needle?
>"In twenty minutes you'll be one of us. Then you won't have any problem telling me where your friends are hiding."
>Aria spreads out your arm on the kitchen counter while Sonata sticks a wet rag in your mouth.
>"Stop squirming or it'll hurt more!" 
"NEVER!" 
>It sounded more like "NRRPHRR!"

>A loud horn beeping from the front lawn catches their attention.
>My rescue! I knew you would come!
>You seize the moment and restle yourself free from their grasp.
>"After him." Adagio spoke in a creepily monotone voice.
>As her two henchmen give chase you roll under the table across from them.
>On the other side you grab your water gun and unleash the cleansing fluid as you nab your backpack and make your escape.
>Hard footsteps follow you towards the front door.
>You throw yourself against it hoping to break through.
>It didn't work.
>Still you manage to unlock the door and fling it open before they could grab you.
>The horn belongs to a school bus outside.
>Commander Red is honking the horn and gesturing you to hurry up.
>Your comrades provide cover fire from the bus and egg the dastardly devils giving you chase. 
>You take one last look at the scrambled aggressors before boarding.
>Mission Debrief is gonna have fun with this.

...

"No. Stop. Come back."
>You watch helplessly as Aria and Sonata face the brunt of the neighborhood childrens wrath.
>After kidanon safely boarded the bus it speeds off down the road.
>Well this has been an interesting morning.
>"Where the hell did that fucking bus come from?"
>You hand both of them a towel to clean themseves off. 
"I called it."
>Sonata reeks of yolk and confusion.
>"Huh?" 
>You facepalm.
"Ugh. I told his "commander" over the radio if my house gets egged again I'm calling the cops."
>You drop the turky baster back into the sink.
"Everything else was to tick Anon."
>Aria throws her towl at Sonata.
>"Yeah didn't you listen at all?"
>Sonata's pout comes back with a vengeance.
>"Aww I wanted a little sister to play with!"
>"Go fuck a hobo then you little tramp."
>There they go again.
>It's surreal that the damn ten year old was more mature then your two little idiots.
>You sigh to yourself as you watch them argue over more petty things.
>What would you ever do without them?