>Ever had one of those days where you woke up and just dreaded the idea of not staying in bed?
>"SIR ANONYMOUS, WE'RE ALREADY BEHIND SCHEDULE!"
>This was one of those days.
>You were Anon Isaac Mous, or Anonymous. 
>You'd found yourself in Equestria though some inexplicable means, which seemed to be based around copious amounts of alcohol and falling into a burial vault.
>Regardless, you'd been in technicolor horse-land for over a year now.
>Society had accepted you as a normal individual, save for a few specific cases that still believed you were an anomaly. 
>Today th-
>"SIR ANONYMOUS PLEASE HURRY UP!"
>TODAY, though, you were on your way to speak to the regent of the kingdom you found yourself in.
>A Princess Celestia, who had been wanting to set up this meeting with you for the past month.
>Living in her castle had made you quite good at evading her, but you couldn't escape any longer.
>Today was the day you two would be talking of...marriage.
>Her words still rang fresh in your mind, and it caused you great anxiety to imagine what she'd have to say about today.
>"Anonymous, you need a wife. If not just one, that is. If you're unable to find one, I personally can pick one for you."
>The very idea of it had you shuddering.
>You'd never really been one for the concept of procreation with these ponies.
>You'd seen their...genitals, yes. It wasn't like a normal horse's from back on Earth, but you didn't want to be just that.
>A horsefucker.
>Pushing these thoughts aside though, you drug yourself from in front of your mirror.
>You looked fine, ready for a meeting with any royalty.
>You didn't feel fine though.
>Today was going to bring sorrow, one way or another.
>Pushing open the door to your bedroom, you managed to blast the guard who was about to start calling for you again with the giant wooden block.
"Oh shit, sorry bro."
>You weren't actually sorry though.
>Ignoring him, you made your way towards the staircase near your room.
>Time for a meeting...
>Or so you thought.
>Coming down the main stairwell that led to the castle's main entrance hall, you found a great number of ponies waiting for what you assumed was a meeting with the princess.
>Hell, there was even a griffon waiting.
"Right, welp meeting must be off, I'm outta this s-"
>"SIR ANONYMOUS YOU NEED TO SEE THE PRINCESS NOW!"
>Fuck.
>Turning, you find a different guard watching you, the look in his eyes daring you to try escaping.
>Being a fake ambassador sucked sometimes.
>You got the title that went with it, and plenty of pay...but it was all for show.
>As the only human, that's kind of how it went.
>Strutting along, you let that guard know he was nothing more than a bitch in your great presence.
"Lead the way big guy." you inform the helmeted wonder.
>foryou.png
>This all in all though, was just a facade.
>You felt as though you could throw up any time now. 
>The Princess would more than likely be forcing a wife upon you today, or trying to do as such.
>One of those days that you just couldn't escape.
>Walking along though, you felt eyes burning into the back of your head.
>It occurred to you that they might be upset that you were just strolling on up front.
>internal keks.
>Coming upon the enormous doors that led into the throne-chamber, where she conducted her normal weekly "Confidence" meetings, you felt your stomach drop again.
>This was really happening.
>The guards flanking the door saluted (seriously being an ambassador didn't rate a salute did it?) and the doors opened on their own.
>Magic. I ain't gotta explain shit.
>Passing through the portal into her grand hall though, you found the Princess waiting for you, no more than a few steps away.
>ohboyherewego