Epilogue:


>You are Princess Celestia.
>And you were waiting to receive more information about the botched assassination of Anonymous.
>It'd been two days since his burial, five since his expiration...yet all you knew was that the three you'd sent to do the job were dead, as well as three more bystanding guards.
>Sighing, you continued to write in your tax ledger.
>At least he was gone.
>Twilight wouldn't understand now why you'd done it, but she would someday.
>It pained you to have to end the life of another, but that sort of feeling was selfish.
>It had no place in a ruler's heart.
>Pushing it aside, you considered the implications of what would happen if this all came back to you.
>Some suspected it was your work.
>Which in some way it was.
>But you'd only been provided the tools, ponies that could be molded.
>They already hated the target, they just needed the means to remove it.
>You provided that, but in such a way that you couldn't be found at fault.
>At least those three had been burned and done away with.
>Another upside of their rags. Making something so sensitive to sunlight was almost difficult for you, but you'd found a way.
>You hadn't ever anticipated that spider's silk wrapped in moonlight would burn at such high temperatures, but that was history.
>The things you learned over the centuries...
>"Ma'am!" a voice called from the other side of your bedroom door.
>Looking up towards it, you opened it with a flick of your mind.
>A guard stood there, one you knew well.
>A lovely older stallion by the name of Burnhide.
>You requested his personal presence many a cold night, but this wasn't one of them.
"Yes Burnhide?" you called, your voice carrying across the distance.
>He bowed, but rose quickly and strode towards you.
>A note was in his hoof as he came along, and as he reached your table, he bowed again.
>"Message from Ponyville ma'am, as well as a small package." he stated, reaching into the small saddlebag attached to his golden armor.
>Raising your eyebrow, you waited for him to set it on your desk.
"Do stay for a moment, Burnhide." you ordered.
>Maybe you could use the company tonight.
>But to matters at hoof for the moment...
>Opening the letter, you instantly recognized Twilight's writing style.
>The message was as simple and clear as her last.
>'I know.'
>Your face didn't betray your feelings on it, but you quickly tore the package open with your magic.
>Inside of it sat a crown.
>Broken clean down the center, a zigzagging crack separating the halves in a beautifully imperfect manner.
>Taking a deep breath, you began to consider what it all meant in the long run.
"Burnhide, send the others away."
>He complied as he returned to his posting in the hallway, ordering the other guards to leave.
>She would be leaving, wouldn't she?
>Time would fix it.
>That much you could assume.
>'Then why do you have such a black-feeling of fear in your heart?'
>Your own question went unanswered.
>By then, it was too late to know just what had been done to you.
>Touching the crown, you felt a slightly cold feeling run down your spine.
>No matter.
>You'd had rebellious phases when you were younger.
>Reigning in your emotions, you just considered where you'd go from here.
>It'd take time to win her over again, but you'd make sure she saw it from your view.
>You didn't have Anonymous killed for any personal grudges.
>You did it to help Twilight grow, as he was directly opposed to that.
>Why, you e-
>"You're lucky, Celestia." a voice called from behind you.
>Standing up, you turned to face the intruder.
>...Cadance?
>"I'm going to give you a chance as well, teacher." she stated coldly. "Shining squandered his, and has been dealt with accordingly."
>You didn't have time to react as you felt your mind go blank, and spells of protection were just pushed aside.
>A spike drove itself into your thoughts and you found yourself of all ponies, powerless to fight it.
>"You'll see what the pain you've caused." a deep voice boomed throughout your very being.
>The last thing you saw before the world went dark was the pink Alicorn's face.
>A single tear was streaking down her face, but you knew she believed in what she was doing.
>Fear struck your heart for the first time in years.


>You are Shining Armor. 
>And you are regretting just about every decision you'd made in the last few weeks.
>Part of you wanted to go back and beat yourself into submission.
>Seeing Anonymous's pain just about broke you.
>But on the other side of the coin, it made you want to remove him from Equestria that much more.
>He was a monster.
>His entire race were monsters.
>There was good in them, but they were far too warlike.
>Their weapons could destroy entire civilizations. None held that power here.
>It pained you to do it, but you consulted Celestia in private, and showed her more of your findings.
>She agreed with you, and in the end it was your word that killed Anonymous.
>Yet at the same time, three more bystanders were killed by those that you had sent after the human.
>It was only justice that they died as well, but the word was perverted to you.
>You supposed now what you were receiving was justice, true and undiminished. 
>Reading the letter she left for you though, was the hardest part.
>You only caught words here and there as you rode along in the train.
>The major ones seemed to revolve around 'divorce' and 'banished.'
>Sighing deeply, you wondered just how you'd fare from here on out.
>You were going back to Canterlot, but you knew things would never be the same.
>Cadance was going to rule the Crystal Empire alone.
>Until she found somepony new to love. 
>That seemed to hurt the most.
"Why did I do it?"
>Your question goes unanswered as the train rattles along.
>'You gave up on her of your own free will, to do harm to an innocent.' an internal voice accuses. 
>You hang your head in shame as you finally let the tears fall.
>You deserved what you got, and more.
>You could only pray that it wouldn't always be like this.
>Death was what you caused, not only to innocents but to those that you'd directed and manipulated.
>Flash and his comrades had never been bad, if overzealous. 
>Yet you turned them into what they were.
>At least they died and moved on.
>Their souls would be at peace. Whereas yours wouldn't find that for a long time.
>The whistling of the train cut into your thoughts though, dragging you to look outside.
>The frozen landscape passed by, as cold and unforgiving as the world you yourself had made for yourself.
>Closing your eyes, you let darkness wash over you.
>It wouldn't be the last time.


>You are Twilight Sparkle.
>Formerly Princess Twilight Sparkle. 
>You'd given up your crown, anger bringing itself to the forefront of your mind once you learned more of the circumstances of your husband's sudden and unexpected murder.
>Your mentor had caused this, through her own selfish concerns.
>You were starting to go more than a little crazy at this turn of events.
>Regardless, you were able to keep reign of your most violent emotions as you poured over the old scrolls Cadance had sent to you.
>You'd initially started speaking to her again after burying your husband, telling her that you wanted to confront Celestia yourself and demand access to the libraries. 
>Cadance had convinced you otherwise though.
>She said she'd go herself and send you whatever you needed once she had the situation under control.
>She'd come up with a plan, and you'd followed it to the T.
>It was brilliant that she decided to have you send the broken crown to Celestia though, as a statement of your resignation.
>Princesses didn't resign.
>But you sure as hell did.
>You remember the moment you broke it like it was just minutes ago...
>You were in the Apple's house where Anon had been staying, once they finally pried you off of him.
>The crown was lying just outside, cracked against the cobblestone where you'd thrown it.
>You were inside, sitting on the floor just past the threshold.
>Things were still scattered about.
>The container of soup you'd made for him was sitting on the table, open and empty.
>The hat Rarity had made for him was sitting in its box.
>Everything was fine.
>Except that he was gone.
>You were unsure of how you'd made it into his bedroom, but you found yourself crying again.
>It almost held no meaning now. Your tears had spilled far too often these last weeks.
>Yet for some reason you couldn't hold them back.
>You were wrapped up in his unwashed clothes, breathing in his scent as your tears fell nonstop.
>You asked why, over and over.
>Yet nothing would answer you.
>You weren't sure how long you lay there, but eventually you pulled yourself together.
>You ha-...
>A cracking sound brought you back to reality.
>Shaking your head, you looked towards the source of the noise.
>You were still a little dazed, but you could tell there was something happening just outside of your door.
>Rubbing your eyes, you pull away from the ancient texts that you had been attempting to decipher.
>Trotting towards the door, you heard the clock nearby chiming.
>It'd been days since you'd actually slept, but that didn't matter.
>Slowly tugging the large wooden slab open, you peered into the hallway.
>Another pile of scrolls was on the floor outside.
>Cadance had been sending them in a bit more of an organized manner, but you weren't really surprised at this point.
>You'd asked for it.
>A way to make it right.
>Time travel had seemed like the best option, and now you knew it was possible.
>More stable than the last one you'd tried.
>But more dangerous in terms of potential after-effects of what can happen to your mind and physical body.
>You didn't care though.
>You'd even been getting hints at another form of time travel, but it was infinitely more complex. 
>It was less physical, but it allowed your mind to move on its own back in time, retaining knowledge of a more present point in time.
>It was also dangerous from what you'd been able to tell, but it would allow you to stop everything before it happened in a much more direct manner.
>You weren't even sure it would work though.
>And...well, Rainbow had asked you a question yesterday that you kept thinking on.
>'What right do you have, of all ponies? You caused this.'
>Her words echoed in your mind.
>She was upset with you and for good reason.
>But you know jealousy had a part to play in it.
>She'd initially been were mean to Anon, but you quickly realized she liked him. 
>Probably for the same reasons you'd liked him at first.
>But he gave you the chance and you fell in love.
>'Or so you thought.' another voice inside chastises you. 'She deserved him more than you.'
"I don't CARE!" you yelled aloud, abruptly.
>Yup. You were losing it.
>'You already lost it.'
>Bitch.
>'I'm you.'
>I'm a bitch then.
>Pushing your thoughts aside though, you began to drag the new scrolls back into your room. 
>As you added them to their respective piles based on their velvet tie colors, you began to look around, observing your living quarters.
>Your room was a mess to say the least.
>Scrolls and ancient tomes piled up around the corners, crumbs of food and plates littered the ground.
>Your bed was almost invisible under the pile of Anon's clothing. You'd put a spell on them to retain his scent, and taken to wearing one of his shirts around the room.
>Some might say your living conditions weren't healthy, but you didn't care.
>You had more important matters at hand.
>And you didn't have time for other ponies right now.
>Not even your best friends. 
>They had their own lives to run right now, and they had their own mourning to do.
>Shaking your head though, you trotted back over to your desk to continue working.
>This wouldn't be easy, but it was all you had at this moment in time.
>Taking a seat, you began to read again.
>Taking in details, you would read certain parts aloud where possible.
>Most of the scripture in these old documents were in what was known as a 'dead language.'
>You were a genius though. Learning it wasn't THAT difficult, even if it wasn't so much the vocal side of it that you found yourself adept at taking in.
>"Excuse me, Pri-...Madam Sparkle?" a voice called from the other side of the door.
>You didn't have time for this.
"WHAT?" you called back.
>"S-sorry to interrupt ma'am, it's just that Princess Cadance sent me to insure that you're doing alright."
>You furrowed your brow at this.
>She could talk to you later if she came herself.
>She'd be busy right now though.
"I'M FINE!" you shouted in response, before focusing your magic and insuring that the door to your chambers was locked.
>No more interruptions. You'd get food when you needed it. For now all you cared about was working.
>Glancing back down, the words on the page pulled you in.
"To further understand the point of time in which you wish to travel, an anchor-memory must be used to find the right focal point..." you began to read aloud.
>It was a rough translation, but it was understandable at the least.
>Though the concept behind it was beginning to escape you.
"I wish it was just...more clear." you say to yourself, hoping that an epiphany could come about.
>"I can help you understand a little better, Twilight." a voice said right behind you.
>You twirled around, startled being a word that didn't describe your surprise at all.
>Cadance was there, sitting in the floor.
"How did you get in here?" you questioned, calming down slightly, but still confused.
>She stands up and moves a little closer to you, a smile crossing her lips.
>"I walked right in. You were reading pretty intently." she replied.
>Smart-flank.
>Standing yourself, you moved into her embrace.
>She was the closest thing you had to a big sister, but she'd always meant even more to you.
>It softened the blow at any rate, once you got used to the idea that you'd always have her, even if you wouldn't have your brother around anymore.
>She was enough support in that category.
>You still couldn't even bear to tell your parents what happened, but you were sure they knew by now.
>They'd never really been happy about your marriage with Anonymous, but they'd...always shown their support.
>"Now, let me show you a few things." the true Princess said as she broke the embrace.
"What do you mean?" you started to inquire.
>"That ring was his, correct?" she asks, not deigning to answer your own question yet. 
>Lightly touching your horn, you nod as a swell of raw emotion lets itself be known in your chest.
>"Good." she states simply, before her horn lights up. "You'll have to see a number of unpleasant things soon, Twilight. But this is important."
"What do you me-"
>The words fail to make it past your lips as pain shoots into the forefront of your mind.
"WH-AUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"


>Cold. You feel cold.
>Your eyes are open, but you're staring up at a dark sky.
>Something warm slowly fills your mouth, but you keep swallowing it.
>What's going on?
>Cadance was just with you and...
>You try to roll over, but to almost no avail.
>Why is it so dark outside?
>Shifting your weight, you turn your neck and look down.
>Hands?
>You find quickly that you aren't in control of this body as the seconds pass.
"Help." Anon's voice whispered.
>What's going on?
>You did your best to look around as you began to panic.
>Was he alive? Where was he?
>Your view shifted and a pair of corpses came into your view.
>Even in the dark, blood was apparent on the stained snow.
>One of them was slowly being covered by the falling snow, but you didn't care about that.
>You just wanted to understand what you were seeing.
>"You're seeing your husband's final moments, Twilight." a voice rang out inside of your head.
>'What do you mean?' you spoke aloud.
>You couldn't hear your voice save for in your mind, but it was clear.
>Nothing in response.
"I didn't go through all of that to die here..." Anon's voice whispered as he began to roll over.
>Your attention quickly came back to what he saw, and how he felt.
>You were detached, but you could feel a sliver of the pain he was feeling.
>It was deep within his core, but the cold was numbing it.
>That was bad.
"Come on." his voice was cracking as he pleaded.
>You saw as his gaze drifted towards his hands, scrabbling to get purchase on the ground.
>His fingers weren't moving properly.
>You couldn't do anything but feel a phantom pain overtake you.
>It wasn't something you could nail down.
>It was constantly shifting and invading your senses as you continued to watch your husband's struggles.
>This was bad.
>You...didn't want to watch it.
>But you didn't have eyes to lose. This was all his vision.
>Even his thoughts were beginning to ring around in your mind.
>You couldn't pick out any individual words, but images were starting to burn their way into you as well.
>A homely looking woman was in the back of mind's eye.
>Then it was a dark gray ground with something red spilling onto it, and a bunch of other humans standing around you.
>One kicked you.
>Then it became a young woman's smiling face as you drew closer to her, lips meeting in a soft kiss.
>Things began to flash across your vision, yet the cold snow was still around here.
>At this went on, you began to lose your identity.
>You were in this moment, just a visitor in Anon's mind, but you were part of his mind all in the same.
>An explosion deafened you.
>A city that went as far as the eye could see covered everything.
>A cozy little room full of books and a glowing slat of something held your attention.
>A baby was crying in your arms.
>That same homely woman from earlier was hugging you as she saw you for the first time in months, your uniform new and immaculate.
"I love you Mom."
>The words echoed as everything turned into a violent scene of darkness and sound.
>Broken bodies lay at your feet as you clasped hands with other men, clad in clothing just like yours.
>A starry night sky filled your vision as you ate a cold meal from a brown bag.
>Sand covered your entire body as you laid on the ground, still as a stone.
>Things were becoming more and more convoluted as your vision blended further with Anon's.
>His emotions became yours.
>You were having passionate sex.
>You were drawing a hot bath.
>You were holding a beautiful little girl, her blue eyes and blonde hair in shades that you thought were only ever made up.
>You were running, your lungs on fire.
>You were lying on the ground bleeding.
>You could feel your hand being squeezed, and you kept squeezing back.
>You were in a grassy land, afraid.
>No more humans were around you.
>A pony was hugging you.
>A gold-clad pony was hitting you.
>Twilight was kissing you in her purple gown.
>Mac was patting your back.
>Flash was choking under your grip.
>Until the snow came back.
>Warmth was spreading to your limbs.
>You heard something.
"h-help..." you choked out.
>It moved past you, not hearing or not caring.
>The warm liquid had stopped flowing into your mouth.
>The air was colder, but you felt okay.
>With great effort, you pulled your hand to your chest and stuck it inside your coat.
>Nobody was coming for you.
"h-help me m-mom...' you trailed off. "ple-please momma h-help me..."
>Where was your mother? Mom could help you. She always helped you when you fell down.
"Momma...momma..."
>Why was it so cold?
>"HE'S OVER HERE!"
>At the sound of your own voice, you felt yourself become detached from Anonymous again.
>You were gaining your own identity as he came back to what was reality.
>At that moment in time anyways.
>His vision went dark before he saw you though.
>...
>You saw nothing but darkness for a moment, but a voice was speaking.
>It sounded like your own words, but you couldn't feel much right now.
>You were starting to feel what he felt again.
>A soft sensation was holding your head up for a moment, but it was fleeting.
>Then something pounded your cheek hard, and your neck rolled with the blow.
>As your eyes fluttered open, a blurry thing was standing above you.
>It was poised to strike, but a blur of more-solid purple collided with it.
"Tw-twilight?" you breathed.
>You could barely hear it vocally, but inside your mind it rang out.
>Things blurred, until you heard a name.
>"Flash!"
>You felt Anon's emotions clearly this time, and you fell back into a state of being one with him.
>Fire surged through your veins.
>You twisted your head and saw that familiar face.
>That one that you wanted to wring the life from.
>He smacked Twilight with his hoof and threw her.
>Black rage knotted itself in your stomach, and your hand brushed something inside of your coat.
>Yanking hard on a familiar handle, you heard him spit something at Twilight.
>Manually cocking back the hammer with the little strength you had in your thumb, you brought the firearm to bear.
>Extending your arm far enough, he turned to you.
>Just in time to die.
>You felt oddly detached as Flash's brain splattered on the ground.
>'Now you can rest.' a soft feminine voice informed you.
"Fucker." you croaked out.
>Everything changed after this though.
>You knew what was coming next.
>You could hardly contain the part of you that wasn't fully seeing what Anonymous saw.
>The words that flowed from your lips and his were already burned into your mind.
>Please.
>Don't make me relive it.
>'You must.' an outside voice demanded.
>The phantom pain returned, and this time you realized that it was your own pain.
>Not his.
"Don't leave me Twi. I don't want to be alo-..."
>You felt his chest from the other side this time, air escaping.
>Everything began to darken, except for one single image that stayed in your eyes.
>That young girl. That human with the blonde hair and blue eyes.
>She couldn't be more than eight or so years old, but she was all Anon could see as he died.
"Lilly."
>You didn't hear his final word as you cried, but here you heard it perfectly.
>After this though, it faded and darkness reigned as the lord over all.


>Your eyes snapped open, and you rolled over.
>Wh-why?
"What..."
>You looked at your hooves.
>You were back in your body.
>"I had to show you." Cadance's voice said from nearby. "It might change how you view a lot of things. At least, I hope it does."
>Your stomach was having a hard time holding itself together.
>Bile rose in your throat, until her hooves touched you.
>"Calm down...that part's over." she cooed, rubbing your back.
>Your sickness subsided for the time being, but you felt dirty.
>You...felt him die.
>And all of these things you saw from his life were burned into your mind.
>They weren't fading at all, as you flitted from one to the next.
"Why did I do it?" you questioned, choking up.
>"I don't know Twilight. I can show you things, but I can't explain them." she replied.
>You felt so useless. 
>Even now there were so many things you wanted to do, to get Anon back.
>But what right did you have? You saw so many things you didn't understand.
>'It was his life.' the other you said.
>The revelation was like a ton of bricks hitting you.
>'It was the life he had before, and everything leading up to his second death. The one you caused.'
>You began wailing as the snot and tears flowed forth.
>Cadance seemed taken aback, but she held you tight.
>Cooing that it'd be okay.
>But it wouldn't be. You made so many mistakes.
>Why couldn't you just make something right happen for once!?
>"You'll figure out something Twilight. This is your life. You're ultimately the one in charge." Cadance tells you, her voice blotting out the rest of the world.
>She lifted you up and wiped away your tears.
>"I love you Twilight." she said, kissing your forehead as she laid you out on your bed. "Even if you kind of stink right now." 
>You couldn't help but giggle at this, hiccuping a little.
"Y-you know Anon smelled really good." you challenge, sniffling. 
>Wiping at your nose, you used a couple of tissues to clean up your face.
>"That he did. Now come on, go to sleep for a little while. I'll have some food for when you wake up." she informed you as she smiled.
>Watching her walk away, you smiled for the first time in days.
>Lying back, you closed your eyes to think over the memories.
>Wrapping yourself in his clothes, you breathed in deeply.
>A sense of calm washed over you as Anon's scent worked its magic on you.
>A stray tear still escaped your closed eye as you breathed out, but you had been through a lot because of this.
>Everything faded to black, and before you knew it, you were asleep.
>Until the first nightmare struck.


>A rustling sound brought you back to a state that one might call "awake."
>Yawning and sitting up, you did your best to untangle yourself from the giant sweater that was wrapped around you.
>Your eyes focused in on the sound of the rustling, and you saw that you room had become even more filled by scrolls.
>A small portal had opened up and was depositing another new load of them on your floor.
>Stretching, you sat up, and then flopped onto your back again.
>You didn't have much energy as of right now, and your sleep hadn't been all that restful. 
>It was a wonder you were even awake now, but you supposed it was for the best.
>You needed to keep working at...whatever it was you were trying to do.
>'Do you even know what your end goal is at this point?' a voice inside questioned.
>...that was a good question.
>You wanted to figure out something in terms of being with Anonymous again.
>There was no real clear-cut way though, as your study of the scrolls and texts had told you thus far.
>But after your talk with Cadance last night, you were feeling rather unsure of yourself.
>He was resting now.
>Resting because of what you'd set into motion.
>Everything died in the end, but his life being cut short had been your fault.
>You could accept that.
>Even if you didn't want it to be a permanent solution.
>'This is a back-step compared to your thoughts the last few days.' the inner you chimed in.
>That was an astute observation, but you were thinking a little more critically right now.
>As you laid here in your bed, covered in Anon's clothing.
>Yup, you sure were a stable one.
>Heh. Stable.
>Closing your eyes again, you reveled in the smell of your husband.
>You felt much better right now than you did trying to sleep last night.
>Then again, what time was it?
>Popping an eye open, you look over at a small clock on the far wall.
>Around six in the morning.
>Still rather dark outside as well.
>Maybe...for now you could go back to sleep.
>And it hopefully wouldn't be as bad falling asleep now as it was last night.
>In fact that would be just perfect.
>Burying your face into the aforementioned sweater, you considered what you'd do today.
>Or from here on out.
>It was pretty surprising that you were even thinking on it this clearly. 
>Maybe it had something to do with it being early. You remember Anon had said something a long time ago about early to bed and rising.
>Would it be appropriate for you to continue your crusade, doing anything and everything to try getting Anon back?
>What domain did that even fall under?
>You still weren't sure if you could bring him back through any "conventional" means, as Necromancy was banned in Equestria.
>Not that legality would stop you, but it wasn't what you wanted. 
>Time magic was so complex and unstable, you had a higher chance of killing yourself than anything else.
>Or worse, to say the least.
>Though...what of Chaos magic?
>It was just that. Not controlled, just nudged in one direction or another.
>Save for Discord's ability to control it, but he'd been gone for over a year now. 
>You weren't even sure why he'd left, but it's not like he'd have helped you anyways. 
>Even if he had slowly been changing, he was still a god-like being and whatever power you had over him was only due to the alliance of you and your friends.
>Even Celestia and Luna alone couldn't hold up to him from those occurrences from years ago.
>Pushing that train of thought aside, you opened your eyes again and looked at the ceiling.
>It was dark, but you now felt too awake to try sleeping again.
>Your mind was racing, but your body didn't seem to agree either.
>Sighing, you considered the options.
>You had political things to take care of at some point as well, but that bothered you even more.
>You'd given up your "Princess" title. 
>Cadance was handling everything as of now, but that wasn't really fair to her was it?
>At the same time though, you would probably be perfectly fine with slaving away the rest of your life to find a solution to the problem at hoof.
>'You're too young to make decisions like that.'
"Pfffft." you spat aloud at the thought. "More like too late."
>You felt rather bitter now, the thoughts of giving up being pushed from your mind.
>At that moment though, another small portal opened up and a single scroll fell from it right onto your stomach.
>You felt more alert as you looked it over though, as it was nothing like the others.
>The scroll had been poorly kept and maintained, the paper deeply yellowed and a tearing piece of string holding it together.
>Looking around the room, you didn't notice anything different or off.
>Just this...scroll.
>Lifting it up into the air with your magic, you slowly unravelled it.
>Letting it slowly fall open, the moment your eyes saw the text on the page, you almost screamed.
>A blinding light burst forth from the ink, burning itself into your vision as it continued to fall.
>Words foreign to your mind spoke to you aloud, but you couldn't do anything but sit there as the seemingly harmless object caused you enormous pain.
>The world began to blot out as the booming voice filled your brain, magic flowing forth from both it and your own horn.
>Images floated into your vision again, things you'd seen before that weren't your own.
>Both memories from Anonymous, as well as other images from a world across the space of the universe.
>At least, that's what the voice told you, using a language that you seemed to understand.
>The pain began to recede, but all you felt was panic.
>What was this?
>What kind of magic had you come across this time?
>It was almost becoming a normal occurrence for incredibly strange things to happen around you, but this made you feel genuine panic.
>As the fear gripped you further, the voice took over again.
>More alien things were forced into your ever shrinking mind, pushing your doubt and fear aside so as to speak more clearly.
>It was forcing you to understand, even as the pain began to wax and wane. 
>"SEE." the voice commanded
>More images flowed forth, plain in what they meant.
>You saw yourself in what you assumed was the near future, trying out a new spell to achieve your goals.
>It was working, but you were terribly drained by it. 
>Everything else after that was cloudy and thousands of possibilities passed by.
>As the portal was sustained, you magic drained until you were unable to cast spells anymore.
>Another series of images pushed their way forward, showing you being horribly mutilated by the chaotic aether on the other side.
>Yet another showed another dimension between the fold, where untold eldritch abominations ruled.
>A formless roiling cloud the size of a mountain range clashed with another great being, their titanic struggles causing damage on an unknown scale to a plane of existence that you couldn't even start to comprehend.
>As these things faded though, you felt a burning in the forefront of what you assumed was your head.
>"DANGER." the voice boomed.
>This was getting scarier by the second.
>Or was it hours?
>You weren't sure. All you knew now was that what you wanted was essentially being dropped right into your lap.
>At a horribly great risk.
>As you collected yourself, another opportunity presented itself in the form of sounds and smells, and an alien feeling of...touching.
>You couldn't see, but you could hear a soothing laughter resound in your ears.
>The smell of...Anon? It was unmistakeable but it was different. 
>It wasn't nearly as acute as you'd remembered, but other sensations were starting to come forth.
>His hands. You could feel his hands brushing their way across your body, but the feeling was intensified.
>Sight still couldn't make itself known to your senses, but that didn't matter. You didn't understand what was happening, but you felt an intense burning of passion inside of yourself at this development.
>You could even feel your body responding weakly as you reached for his hand.
>The sensation quickly became more subdued as everything focused into your outstretched limb.
>Your...no, it wasn't a hoof.
>Your hand touched his, fingers entwining. 
>Tears sprang forth to your sightless eyes as the dream-like trance shifted to another state.
"NO!" you choked out. 
>Go back! Please!
>"FINISHED." the voice informed you with a sense of finality.
>Another great throbbing feeling in your head was made apparent for an instant as the world returned to you.


>Your eyes flickered open, light pouring in through the windows.
>Your mouth felt dry and you couldn't think of anything but water right now.
>Looking down, you saw a scroll sitting on you.
>Memories struck you like a brick wall as the text came into view again.
>This time though, no blinding light came forth from the ancient paper.
>Pushing it open, you coughed as the dryness made itself known again. 
>Concentrating your magic, you pulled water from the sink in the bathroom without leaving your bed.
>Pulling the concentrated stream into your mouth, you drank it down as though you'd just survived a twenty year drought.
>It was the sweetest thing you'd ever tasted.
>As you finished it though, a thought came unbidden to you.
>'You know what you want at least.'
"You're right." you mumbled aloud.
>You weren't sure how to reach that goal, but you were sure it lay somewhere within the scroll before you.
>Whatever that feeling was...you wanted it.
>Your heart burned at the memory of it, and the feeling returned as a tingling sensation in the tip of your right forehoof.
>A chill ran down your spine at the very thought of being able to be with him as another...human?
>You'd fight past any risk for a chance at him being alive again.
>This though? Was another story.
>You mi-
>"Twilight?" Cadance called from the other side of your bedroom door, knocking lightly. "Mind if I come in?"
>Hiding the scroll inside of a shirt, you replied.
"Come in!"
>You had a feeling that she wasn't the one who had sent that particular scroll.
>With a flourish though, she entered your bedchamber.
>A smile crossed her features as she looked you over.
>"You're looking a bit better there Twily." she stated, moving around the unsorted pile of scrolls. "Sleep well?"
>Nodding your head in reply, you waited for her to continue.
>"Well if you're ready to pop downstairs for a moment, breakfast is ready." she finished, gesturing for you to join her.
>Rolling out of bed, you landed lightly on your hooves and stretched your wings out.
>You wanted to get right to work, but spending time with Cadance might help you a little more for the time being.
>Following her, you slipped past the unsorted mess in front of you.
>You'd take care of it later.
>The only scroll that really mattered was the one you left in your bed.
>The key to the lock.
>You smiled at the thought.


>You are Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. 
>And your heart is aching as you pulled Twilight away from her room.
>She was hiding the very thing you'd given to her, and it was on her mind as you exchanged pleasantries. 
>You could feel it.
>A deep sadness had planted itself in your being as you considered the implications of what you'd done.
>New doors would open due to this, but you also couldn't bear to see her pain anymore.
>You weren't sure what would come of her actions, but at this point it hardly mattered.
>Looking at Twilight, you considered just what would come of your actions.
>She was desperate beyond what even you had believed she would be.
>And you were the Princess of Love.
>Yet she'd still surprised you with her animosity.
>She didn't care if what she handled would kill her. 
>Or worse.
>You'd given her these means, but you knew it could also help her obtain what she desired.
>She had power and determination that couldn't be matched, even by yourself or the rulers. 
>Her motivation though, was what could help her pull through. 
>She couldn't be alone though. That was the biggest factor.
>You were there for her, and you needed to drag her friends into this as well.
>They'd all be eager to see her, but you'd told them to hold off for a while.
>Though, today that would change.
>She'd feel the support again, and maybe with that she'd be able to pull through.
>No matter the outcome.
>As you reached the entrance to the kitchens, you stopped her abruptly.
>Pulling her close, you embraced the young Princess.
>She seemed a little surprised at first, but reciprocated quickly.
"Twilight you know I love you with all of my heart, right?"
>The question hung in the air, but it was meant to be rhetorical.
>Still felt nice as she nodded into your chest.
>Releasing her, you pushed your way into the dining area and smiled as her jaw dropped at the sight.
>All of her friends were putting together a huge meal, but they'd all stopped as the door opened.
>Pinkie was the first one to tackle Twilight in a hug, a "HIYA TWILIGHT!" erupting from her as the rest trotted over to greet their friend in a big group hug. 
>Her surprise was apparent, but as the tears began to fall you couldn't help but feel for her.
>At least she was happy to see them. 
>As their group slowly pulled apart, you tended to their various cooking stations.
>Didn't want to ruin breakfast. It was meant to be a special little event, and you wanted it to go perfectly.
>She'd need it, if she was to have any hope of progressing. 
>Listening as the friends conversed and caught up, you felt your heart warm up a little.
>They loved Twilight, and were all careful to ease her into the situation.
>They didn't really make much in the way of small talk, instead favoring stories and previous events in the last few days, but it was enough to take the edge off from her mind from what you could tell.
>It was good for her to think on the less serious side of things for a little while.
>Her heart was still broken, but she'd done a rather fine job of wrapping it up.
>Well...if you called ignoring everyone and everything for an extended period of time a "fine job."
>Regardless, their antics always seemed to bring the mood up.
>You even giggled yourself as Twilight blushed when her friend's noted how she smelled like Anon, which was to say she might need a shower.
"A little help here, girls?" you eventually deigned to call out, the task of not burning the pie, oversoaking the potatoes, or undercooking the eggs not something you wanted to handle alone any longer.
>They all shared a laugh and came back over to you, taking over their various tasks.
>Twilight even joined in, Pinkie making sure to cover her in flour before actually getting anything accomplished.
>The sight alone was heartwarming, and you felt much better about the situation.
>The time for sadness and reflection could continue later.
>Right now was time for family that was still here.


>You are Twilight Sparkle.
>And you were feeling rather sick to your stomach.
>You were so happy that your friends were here, supporting you and showing their love.
>But even deeper, you felt disgusted with yourself and the situation at hoof.
>You wanted to eat and go back to work.
>You couldn't even tell your friends what you had planned on doing, and that cut even deeper.
>They couldn't know what you were going to do.
>They'd be...against it.
>You felt it in your heart.
>Just listening to their...inane chatter was almost too much.
>There were more important things to your life right now than talking about their town-wide adventures and stories.
>You loved them so dearly, but this was an important time and their condolences weren't worth anything at the moment.
>You wouldn't need their condolences if that...scroll, was real and had real power.
>Power that would help you reach your deepest desire.
>A tear began to roll down your cheek unbidden, but you didn't notice it until Rarity chimed in.
>"Twilight, are you alright?" she called, her hoof reaching out to touch yours.
>That's right. You'd been listening to them and agreeing, happy to bask in their presence to some extent.
>Though, the guise fell away as you shook your head, attempting to disarm your friend's concerns.
>"Twilight, you really need to think about...other things." Rainbow said, her tone dropping as she continued. "We all miss him."
>At this though, you felt your anger flare up. 
>From her, that was just downright insulting. 
"R-rainbow you have NO room to talk."
>The group grew silent at this, all eyes on you.
"Out of all the ponies I know you loved A-Anonymous. Maybe more than you s-should have." you stammered out.
>Silence reigned for a moment, until a blue blur crashed into you and something hard connected with your jaw.
>You didn't even call out as you fell backwards, Rainbow standing over you with tears in her eyes.
>"Don't YOU dare." she whispered as a cloud of magic enveloped her, pulling her away from you. 
>"What is wrong with you two?!" Cadance called out. 
>She could read your mood again you took it. 
>Rubbing your muzzle, you sat up and looked at the other girls.
>You could feel your eyes watering, but you had to stay strong.
>Standing, you looked past them, their silence only broken by Rainbow struggling against Rarity's magic.
"Thanks for coming, all." you said as evenly as you could before walking away.
>No more hiding your feelings then.
>You felt much more cold now than ever before, but that was just how it would be.
>Your heart was heavy enough.
>'Because you caused his death.'
>"You aren't going anywhere." Applejack's voice rang out behind you. 
>You turned to look at her, attempting to meet her gaze as she came up to you.
>All of them looked rather upset, but AJ had a plain expression.
>"Ah guess we shouldn't beat around tha' bush anymore. Twilight, ya' need help and we need ya' back." she started, moving around you to stand in front of the door.
>Well this escalated quickly.
>"Twilight I...wanted you to talk to your friends. That's all." Cadance calls to you as well, before turning her attention to them. "Don't pressure her if she doesn't want to continue right now. You most of all, Rainbow Dash." she chastised.
>You feel somewhat frustrated at this turn of events, but what really bothered you the most was Cadance trying to mother you. 
"I'm going to get back to my research. Thank you all for coming to see me. We can talk later. I'm not ready for it right now." you say, putting as strong a sense of finality into your voice as you say it.
>This really didn't go down how you'd expected, but then again you weren't expecting to find all of your friends at the castle in the first place.
>It was selfish to think so and to act as such, but as before...this was more important. 
>Your friends meant the world.
>But Anon meant the universe. You'd already ruined so much. Whatever you could salvage would be enough. 
>'Stop being stupid and get to work.'
"Okay." you replied to yourself, drawing some confused looks from your friends.
>"Just run away from your problems then." Rainbow called out before being shushed by Rarity again.
>You didn't deign to respond.
>You just focused on your room, and teleported.
>The moment you touched the carpet though, you locked the door and began to cast a spell as the tears fell.
>Your spell would deny anypony trying to teleport to you. It wouldn't effect anything inanimate, but you didn't want to talk to Cadance right now.
>The complete turn-around from how you felt earlier was beginning to take root and you couldn't help yourself as the wailing started.
>Tossing yourself onto the bed, you cried.
>Rainbow was right on a number of levels, but you hated it.
>She was your friend and you loved her, but it was hard to feel that right now.
>She loved Anonymous so much that you felt inadequate.
>'You are.' the voice inside informed you.
>Nothing could comfort you in this moment save for the lingering scent of your husband.
>Deep down though, it made your ache worse.


>You are Rainbow Dash.
>And you're flying to your cloud home. 
>It was cold and snowing outside, but you didn't even really acknowledge the chill in the air as you flew onwards.
>You'd moved it right above the Apple's town-house, where...Anon had been staying.
>You wanted to keep an eye on things, but you couldn't bring yourself to stay on the ground these last few nights.
>You'd be somewhat consumed by your sorrow and anger recently, and for good reason.
>Love had never touched you before in such a way, but that love for Anonymous was what defined you.
>It was terrible in a way, taking your motivations and having them focused on him more than yourself.
>Yet on the other end of the spectrum, it was incredibly selfish of you at the same time.
>You wanted him for yourself and for such a great extent of time you felt terrible about it. 
>But now?
>You...wished Twilight wouldn't have married him.
>You wished it was you.
>You'd have treated him right.
>You kept this in your mind as you reached your house. 
>Pulling the sculpted door open, you walked inside and moved into your opulent room.
>You'd furnished it exactly how you'd wanted it, with thick fluffy clouds arranged in as comfortable a manner as possible.
>Yet you cared for none of this right now, throwing yourself onto the giant bed.
>Reaching towards your fluffy bed-side table, you pulled one of the few non-cloud related items off of it. 
>This piece in particular was a photo frame. A simple piece, but you'd had it enchanted so that it could stay here with you in your private little sanctuary. 
>You held it close to your chest, before looking down at it.
>It was a nice picture of you and Anon, when you'd first really started to get feelings for him.
>You were kissing his cheek, much to his surprise when the image was taken.
>He'd saved you from drowning the day before and you'd felt so...grateful towards him.
>Nopony else had really seen this photo, but you were fine with that.
>It was yours.
>Pulling it close again, you let the tears fall.
>He was gone.
>That alone was almost too much to bear.
>Why?
>Why did he even have to come here?
>If you'd never have met him, you'd never have felt these things.
>Sadly, this didn't console you.
>Crying yourself to sleep became about the only option, as you felt yourself drifting away.
>You just didn't want to feel sad anymore.


>You are Fluttershy.
>And you're exhausted. 
>It'd been hours since the incident at the castle, and fatigue had set in.
>It looked like this was going to be much more rough than any other patch before.
>Twilight needed help, but wouldn't accept it.
>Rainbow was...heartbroken to say the least.
>Not even wanting to think of the political backlash in the last few days of Twilight having stepped down as a Princess, you'd taken to hiding in your home even more.
>That, and taking care of your little Lilly.
>The baby Manticore was already starting to grow, but you'd still kept her inside as of now.
>You knew she was happy enough around the other animals, and they were beginning to accept her.
>Angel bunny was even starting to accept her being around inside.
>At least you were able to somewhat keep your head up.
>You were missing a friend, but that was okay. 
>You'd lost many good friends over the years.
>Your heart still ached for him, but you were doing your best to focus on the time you'd spent with him.
>The little gifts he'd unknowingly blessed you with. 
>Though, today was proving to be a little harder than the others.
>Letting out a great sigh, you resigned to your bedroom.
>The animals were fine, and could wake you if they needed your attention.
>At the very least, you'd rest up before continuing your day.
>You'd need it, considering what you'd have to take care of later.
>Rainbow was going to need support.
>She seemed to be more outwardly hurt than any others, and that was saying something. 
>By now, all of you knew about her feelings towards Anonymous, but it was understandable on some level.
>You all loved him in one way or another.
>If only, if only.
>Lying down on your soft bed, you quickly found peace. 
>That was, until a mewling sound reached your ears.
>Popping your head up, you were greeted with a face-full of fluff as Lilly became acquainted with your bed.
>Wrapping your hooves around the crying cub, you pulled it close.
"I know you miss your Daddy sweetheart. I miss him too."
>A stray tear fell at this, but you didn't wipe it away.
>You weren't expecting one to come that quickly, but you supposed that was how it was going to be.
"Momma will always be here for you." you consoled the little creature.



>You are Big Macintosh.
>And you've been swearing like a sailor for the last few minutes.
>It'd been another long day on the farm, but this had just been getting worse.
>In three days you'd kicked over seven trees over, due to getting worked up.
>You just wanted to keep the trees clears of snow and keep plowing the ground.
>Yet between the chilly weather and the silence, you kept having personal issues with the environment.
>Memories kept coming back, and before you knew it, you were angry and kicking trees wildly.
"Damnit." you finally breathed out, sitting down on the shattered tree.
>Anon was gone.
>He was the only real close friend you'd had in years.
>The only one who knew what you'd seen and done.
>The friend who made it work out better.
>Even your wife couldn't do much to help you out with your...terrors. 
>But this? This was just ridiculous.
>Your anger at his loss was just amplifying your pain, but you didn't know what to do.
>You knew plenty about your ailments, and mental troubles in general.
>Yet at the same time, it just seemed to get worse.
>Shaking your head though, you deigned to stand and drag your plow with you back to the farm.
>You were cold and wet, but that didn't matter now.
>Your blood was up, and even if your mind cooled, your body wasn't.
>Trotting along, your muscles were tensed at the grating sound of the plow cutting through the snow behind you.
>You felt as though you were expecting some sort of attack at any moment, but another part of you knew that was irrational.
>The feeling didn't go away, until you'd already left the barn and made your way to Carousel Boutique.
>As you entered though, you felt the heat of a roaring fire wash over you, uncomfortably so.
>You hadn't realized that your body had finally started to cool down a little, but that was the price you paid for being a blue-collar worker. Or a brown-collar in this case, you thought as you pulled your giant yoke off and set it near the door.
>Stretching you went and laid down on a soft rug near the fire itself.
>You weren't hungry.
>In fact, you didn't feel much anything right now.
>As much as you wanted to come here to a happy home and loving wife, you just didn't feel passion right now.
>He'd have hated to know that you were moping like this, but it didn't matter right now.
>He'd also have understood how you felt, even while hating it.
>"Mac? Darling?" Rarity called to you. 
>Her voice carried, but you didn't do much to acknowledge that you'd heard her save for a small flick of your ears.
>Though, when she got closer and touched your side, you felt your muscles loosen up a little.
>Taking this as a sign to continue, you felt her nuzzle up to you before lightly rubbing her head against your neck.
>You didn't want to talk, but she understood.
>Lying there, you let her comfort you in her own way as you drifted off.
>You didn't know what the future held, but you hoped that someday you'd meet your fallen brothers again someday.
>Him most of all. 


-


>You are Twilight Sparkle.
>And it's been three years, seven months, three weeks, and four days since Anon died.
>Not that you cared about the time that passed for it's own sake, but you kept the tally to know just how long you'd been working on fixing the problems you'd created.
>Not your friendship problems. Most of those were fine.
>You didn't get out much, but that was okay.
>Cadance was handling all of the assets in the Crystal Empire, and Equestria alongside Luna for now.
>Celestia had left over a year ago on some sort of self-fulfilling journey.
>Not that it mattered.
>Everything else had just...come along smoothly enough.
>Well, except for Rainbow. The two of you just hadn't quite seen eye-to-eye since your first...incident.
>Oh well.
>You had more important things to consider.
"Okay." you breathed out. "Test number two-hundred and six."
>You'd made progress, but you felt really good about this one.
>The scroll you'd found was incredibly complex, but you had all of the information down and memorized.
>Now it was just...practical applications.
>Every time you'd tried to achieve your goal with creating a portal thus far, you'd run into some...walls.
>But the last fifty or so tests, you'd been able to actually create portals!
>Even if they...didn't last longer than a few seconds. 
>That was okay though!
>You kept narrowing it down, and the last one you'd made had actually been stable enough to look into.
>What you saw was pretty much magical turmoil, but the place on the other side didn't seem to be dangerous.
>You couldn't speak for the inhabitants, but that was another story.
>You were well prepared for what you could come across, at least in terms of ethereal beings.
>A small place inside of your stomach still felt somewhat sick at it though, knowing what you now knew.
>There were some horrifying things in there.
>But he was worth it.
>Chasing a dream was possible due to magic.
>Now for the task at hoof...
>The room you were in, was filled with books, candles, scrolls, and many objects set out for your spell.
>The center though, was made of a mixture of symbols. Some alchemical, others pertaining to thaumaturgy.
>All of them though, were set into the crete, giant brass symbols flowing into one great shape that hurt to even look at for extended periods of time.
>Standing up, you lit up a few candles and started the first part of the spell.
>Closing your eyes in the near-pitch darkness, you began to focus power into your horn.
>This was less about strength, and much more about control.
>Words began to flow from your throat, that didn't make sense to any mortal ears.
>You'd taken to calling it "Enuncia."
"SCHFFFFFFT"
>Just about every word sounded like that, but that one was the real doozy.
>You ignored the blood that flowed from your mouth immediately following that final word.
>As your eyes flickered open, the candles had changed.
>The light flame on them had gone dark, but burned just as previously.
>Next.
>A jolt of purple energy flew forth from your horn and was directed into two glass bulbs that hung suspended in the air.
>The quickly lit up, and then died out.
>Another presence let itself be known as you did this, but it was something that had become almost...constant, when you attempted this.
>It was on the other side. 
>Another realm, but yet you had drawn it here like a beacon on light.
>A reason for your...floor symbol.
>Pushing the thought aside, you focused harder on your spell.
>The pages of books began to change, words dancing off of the pages and flowing around aimlessly in the air.
>As the hum of the tangible energy became more and more concentrated, the ink-blots began to take on a glow of their own.
>Flowing into one great wall of obscure text, a reflective mirror began to form in front of you.
>You couldn't contain your excitement as it became more tangible, the smell of ozone flooding your nostrils.
>It grew in size, its oval shape staying consistent.
>It looked like a sea of flowing amethyst water, but you knew better.
>Another minute passed as it became stable.
>The thing on the other side began to probe its way through the portal, but found itself caught up in the cage of the symbol. 
>You couldn't see it, but it was a weak little thing.
>At least, compared to the other things out there.
>Ignoring that though, you pushed forward.
>Finally, you pulled the last piece of the spell forth.
>A single hair. One of Anon's. 
>Hooves moving of their own accord, you touched the mirror, the hair being the first thing in contact with it. 
>As your hoof passed through, you felt it seize you, yanking you forward.
>You didn't have time to do anything as you were plucked from the world.



-Extra little epilogue bit- (it's canon if you want it to be)


>What was that beeping sound?
>It was annoying and you were getting tired of it.
>Where was it coming from?
>You wanted to turn it off, but you couldn't see it.
>You couldn't see anything for that matter.
>Why not?
>'Open your eyes dingus.'
>...what?
"Ahhh..."
>Your throat felt like it was lined with sandpaper.
>Your eyelids were heavy, but you don't ever remember it being THAT bad.
>"DOCTOR! HE'S AWAKE!" a shrill voice called out.
>Fuck lady, ever heard of subtlety. 
>Also, doctor? Hoboy, what happened?
>What the hell was...
>Wait.
>Guzman.
>He was holding your hand.
>The helicopter was taking you somewhere.
>What was going on?
>You began to try squeezing your brother's hand, but it was empty.
>Where was he?
"Joooaaaahhhh..."
>Fuck this shit, you needed water.
>At this thought though, one of your eyelids finally listened to your wishes.
>Slowly opening, you felt as though you were trying to push a great weight off of your chest.
>Your eyes began to adjust quickly, but you weren't able to move your head very well.
>Dim lights were over you, but you couldn't get a good reading of your surroundings.
>That smell though...you knew it.
>Why hadn't you noticed it before?
>A hospital?
>Fuck you hated those places.
>...why did you hate them again?
>"Woah son woahhhh. Can you hear me alright?" a voice called to you.
>A fatherly face came into view, but you didn't feel like moaning out again.
>You nodded your head as best you could, but that was exhausting in its own right.
>"You're gonna be alright son."
>For some inexplicable reason, you believed him.


-


>Three years since you had that career changing incident.
>About eight months since you'd retired, following those three long years.
>You'd managed to hit your twenty and retire with a great big penchant, but it was almost depressing.
>You had been stuck with a desk-job for the most part, but it was something at the least.
>That blast had left you in pretty bad shape, but you could still have done more.
>Couldn't really argue with the bigwigs after you were put on a restricting physical profile though. 
>And for what?
>You sat on your couch, a book in your hand that you weren't even reading.
>The house was somewhat cold, but you were alone anyways.
>You hated where you were as of now.
>You hardly got to see your daughter, even though you were a "Hero."
>Your memory had...gaps here and there.
>Your nightmares weren't anything to even begin talking about.
>And even better yet, the 'regular' dreams you had were inexplicable, even when you could remember little bits and pieces for more than a few seconds after waking up.
>Standing up, you moved over to your little kitchen, pulling your phone off of its charger. 
>You wanted to call John, but you knew he'd be asleep right now considering he was 14 hours ahead of you in terms of time-zones.
>The same went for Sam. And Neil. And Rob.
>Flipping through your contacts list, you eventually just put the phone back down.
>Moving outside for a moment, you light up a cigarette and find some sort of consolation in breathing in the toxic materials. 
>Eventually though, you toss the stub into the snow and walk back inside.
>After kicking your slippers off, you wandered back into your front room.
>Glancing at the ceiling, you almost laughed.
>You had a little rainbow-streamer hanging from the light fixtures that you hadn't taken down in months.
>Your little angel had given it to you after making it in an arts and crafts class, and you didn't have the heart to put it in any sort of storage space.
>That...and some other part of you just enjoyed looking at the mixture of colors.
>It reminded you of something that made you ache, but you didn't understand it yourself.
>Not to even start on some of your other inexplicable habits now.
>The color purple itself was enough to make you feel a pain in your chest that had nothing to do with the pieces of metal stuck in it.
>You'd also gone from being a dog person to a cat person. You weren't sure why, but you just went with it.
>Your two cats were better at catching rodents than you were anyways.
>Sighing, you eventually ended up on the couch again.
>Today was just one of those days.
>You began to flip through the pages of your book before turning the TV on.
>Having some white-noise was always nice when it came to helping you focus.
>...kind of. 
>Time passed as you finally settled in for a little while.
>Eventually you heard even heard your cats come in through their little door, before they promptly threw themselves down on your living room floor.
>One had deigned to bring a dead mouse back inside, but decided to eat it before you could do much else about it.
>After giving them some loving rubs, you decided to make dinner for yourself. It was already past seven, but you'd managed to actually get engrossed in your story.
>Something about the way the guy wrote really drew you in, even if fantasy wasn't really your favored genre. 
>In fact...
>You decided to just heat up some soup from yesterday and continue reading as you ate.
>After your dinner though, you felt it best to retire early.
>You'd taken to sleeping more. Something to do with what your doctor told you to do. 
>You'd refused any pill-based treatments, but they at least had you working on your sleep hours. 
>You always lost at least a few per night, but it also helped more of the days go by.
>Thinking about it as you pulled your shorts and shirt off, you began to consider what it all meant.
>'Overthinking it again man.'
"Yeah brain, I know. Doesn't mean it's not true." you mumbled aloud.
>You could honestly say you were miserable.
>Exercise didn't do much but take your mind off of it.
>Fixing things...well, let's just say there wasn't anything broken left.
>Shooting was nice, but you could only do it SO much. 
>You wanted to be with your brothers.
>You wanted to have your little girl.
>Anything to take away the monotony of...retirement.
>Slipping under the covers, you thought about where to go from here.
>Sleep took you quickly this time, but it wouldn't last.
>It never did.


>A crashing sound had you jolting up and out of your bed.
>It took a moment to realize that you'd caused the problem though.
>Your lamp was on the floor.
>...
"Fuck."
>Sitting down on the bed again, you looked at it.
>Rubbing your face, you thought for a moment.
>You'd definitely had a nightmare, but this would appear to have been...more severe.
>Weak.
>You were still so weak.
>And it infuriated you.
>Standing up, you began to wander the house.
>Eventually you ended up in the kitchen again, looking out one of the windows as the snow fell.
>The cold tile floor bothered you a little, but that's what you got for sleeping half naked anyways.
>Shaking your head, you eventually grabbed a broom and dustpan.
>As you headed into your room again, you flicked the light on and picked up all of the larger pieces by hand before sweeping up the smaller bits.
>Didn't need to get glass in your foot because of it, right?
>...yup.
>This was the life.
>Throwing away the glass, you ended up using the latrine once more before heading off to bed.
>Looking yourself over in the mirror though, you were somewhat surprised by what you saw.
>You were...somewhat haggard to say the least.
>Your beard had filled in nicely, covering at least some of the scars on your lower jaw.
>Your chest was a mess though, and your left arm still needed some inking.
>Part of your sleeve had been ruined by the explosion, and you honestly did want to fix it up as best as you could. 
>Another problem for another time you supposed.
>At least you had lived, right?
>Right?
>'Don't question it, it's better than the latter.'
>Pushing that train of thought away for another day, you moved back into your bedroom and settled down again.
>That was, until a flurry of loud knocks resounded from your front door.
>Glancing at your watch, it informed you that it was well past midnight now.
>Reaching into your nightstand drawer, you drew your handgun.
>You weren't expecting company, especially not out here in the middle of the night.
>During a snowstorm.
>In November.
>Back in your main living room, you slowly moved through it as the knocking continued.
>Peeking through the peephole, you saw what was obviously a woman's silhouette. 
>Setting the gun on a table nearby, you decided to open the door.
>She could be armed, but this would be easy enough to handle you imagined.
>Flipping a switch on inside, the outdoor lights flickered on.
>Focusing back on the task at hand though, you unbolted the large locks and slowly pulled the steel-edged door open.
"Yes?" you asked, attempting to sound somewhat groggy.
>The woman came into view, but you were somewhat amazed at the sight of her.
>She was...severely underdressed for this weather, but that had you on edge right off.
>Was she a drug addict?
>Her purple eyes and hair spoke volumes about what you could assume she'd be like, but her hard gaze softened the instant your eyes met.
>In fact...
>You looked down at her, but something in her look pierced you.
>The ache in your chest that had lain dormant for weeks now, flared up with a vengeance and it took physical effort to not clutch at it with your hands.
"Can I help you?" you inquired, trying to steady out your voice and not let it appear that you were under distress. 
>At first she blinked, and you saw her eyes water.
>Then came her quavering voice.
>"I...I fou-found you." she whispered, her eyes lighting up as she moved to open the door further.