Salt

>You push open the door to your house, strange, you don’t remember leaving the lights on.

>Paying little attention you continue heading straight for the kitchen, not noticing the group of ponies gathered in your living room.

>A light cough from behind startles you, whirling around you fumble wildly, the bags of shopping trying to escape your grip.

>Managing to keep the items held in your grasp you look up, there sitting in your living room are the six ponies you've come to know as your friends.

>”Anon, We need to talk,” Twilight starts, stepping towards you.

>You hold up a hand, stopping her momentarily.

“Yeah, Can it wait a moment I just got to put this stuff away?”

>”Uh… I guess it could wait.”

>You nod in response, before continuing on your way to the kitchen.

>What could they want, It’s not every day all six of them show up in your living room while you’re out.

>Actually it’s the first time such an occurrence has happened.

>Twilight follows you into the kitchen, watching as you put away each item.

>”Anon are you okay?” Twilight asks.

“Y-yeah I’m fine I was just thinking.”

> Twilight's eyes narrow once she notices the small container of salt as you sit on your shelf.

>”Come on Anon, I think you've spent long enough.” She says firmly.

>Before you can tell her to wait you feel yourself floating of the ground, Wrapped in a violet glow.

>You’re floated back through the house behind Twilight, before being forced onto your couch, making you face the other five ponies.

 

“What are you all doing?”

>Your rainbro steps forward, “Anon, You’ve got a problem.”

“What problem?”

>”Anon, please, this is already hard enough...”

>You look around the room, hoping one of the other mares will give you some idea what the hell is going on.

>None of them give any hints about what Rainbow is going on about.

>”You've got an addiction Anon, and trying to hide it isn't helping, we know about the salt,” Twilight says, stopping Rainbow from talking.

>You can’t be sure whether her statement is cryptic as fuck or if she has just gone insane.

“Uh… what?”

>Rainbow butts in, “Anon, don’t even try to play dumb, you don’t even try to hide it!”

“Hide what, my salt?”

>”No, your house, of course the salt you… You… IDIOT!” Dash screams, her volume causing you to recoil slightly.

“Can someone help me out, I don’t understand what’s going on.”

>Thankfully Rarity starts speaking, She always was one of the more level headed mares.

>”Anonymous, darling, we’ve all been through this at some stage, it’s much easier if you just come clean…”

“Come clean about what, Twilight did you fuck up another spell or some shit!” You shout as you stand up.

>Once more a purple aura wraps around you, pushing you into the couch much harder than before.

>You struggle against her, your body much too weak to even attempt to push against the magical might that is Twilight Sparkle.

“This isn’t funny Twilight, let me go!”

>Twilight just growls, “Fine, if you don’t want to make this easy…”

>Something whizzes past your face, missing your ear by mere millimetres.

>Blinking in shock you focus on the object Twilight has just placed in front of you, your small salt shaker.

>You try to open your mouth to talk but find it held firmly shut by Twilights magic, only a groan escapes your throat.

>”See this Anon, you must think we’re all stupid, I mean you didn’t even try to hide it. None of us are impressed by you having salt, and contrary to what teenagers will tell you, salt is not cool!”

>She unscrews the cap as she lectures you, before pouring its contents across the table.

>You push yourself up, groaning loudly.

>Does she not know how hard it was to find that salt!

>”You’ll thank us later Anon, the small price you payed for this salt is nothing compared to what you’ll save once we help you,” Rarity says sweeping the salt into a piece of paper with her magic.

>A solitary tear runs down your cheek, even back on Earth you loved putting a small amount of salt on everything.

>Not having meat here just made you enjoy it that little bit extra.

 

>The pressure holding your jaw closed eases as Twilight removes her magic from you.

“You think I have a salt addiction? I mean, sure I eat a little bit more than I probably should but it’s not like it’s doing me damage.”

>Rainbow jumps up on you, her face right up in yours as she glares with anger, “What, you think because everything is fine now it’s always going to be, you’ve only been here a year Anon, I mean, ugh!”

>Twilight pulls Rainbow off you with her magic, you’re pressed into the couch after the verbal lashing.

>”Rainbow, you need to calm down, we’ll get through to him.”

“Get through to me about wha-“

>You’re cut off by Twilight as she wraps your mouth in magic again, “Anon each of us have prepared a speech for you, Right girls?” The group nods solemnly.

>”I’ll start” Twilight continues, “This is for your own good, Anon.”

>”Anonymous, Nine out of ten ponies have tried salt at least once, Ranging from the widely exclusive common salt, The quickly absorbed sea salt or even extremely rare and expensive, Griffon mountain salt blocks,” Twilight recites, almost as if she was reading directly from an encyclopaedia.

>”One out of those ten ponies will develop an addiction, And out of ten addicted ponies, Seven of them will die from salt related problems before they reach fifty.”

>Your brain is so full of fuck right now.

“Twilight I don’t kn-” You start, noticing Twilights horn has stopped glowing.

>This time your mouth is held shut by a light blue aura, “Anonymous it is extremely rude to interrupt somep0ny when they’re trying to help you. Now I don’t know how long it has been since your last ‘fix’ but please just hear us out; we all love you very much and don’t want to see you end up in a casket.”

>”Thank you Rarity.”

 

>Twilight continues with her speech about the problems of salt addiction

>You learnt a surprising amount, especially considering you didn’t even know ponies could get addicted to salt.

>Twilight finishes her turn, before making room for Fluttershy, Who surprisingly goes on about her own addiction to the mineral.

>The entire time your mouth is held closed by Rarity.

>Once Fluttershy finishes the glow disappears as Rarity starts going on about how many up and coming ponies have their lives destroyed by the crystalline substance.

>At this point you decide it’s better to sit through this entire intervention about your apparent salt addiction.

>Rarity finishes only to be replaced by Applejack.

 

>”Now Anon ah know ya’ll might be havin’ trouble adjusting to us ponies but that’s hardly a reason ta begin lickin’ the salt block, Next thing ya know ya’ll end up pushin’ everyone ya care about away, Even tha ones who care a little more.”

>She sighs before looking away, “An ah don’t want ya workin’ at tha farm no more until ya’ll kick this bad habit, Last thing ah need is you havin’ a bad influence on Applebloom, Ya know how much she looks up to you.”

>Applejack just fired you.

>For using salt!

“Applejack I’ve always used salt on my meals!”

>”Did ya’ll even listen ta what ah just told ya, ya don’t even apolagise or nuthin, just ell me ya always use it! Ah don’t want ta see ya near the farm again if that’s ya attitude towards your problem!” She shouts.

>You slump back into the chair, hopefully once they finish you can explain yourself without getting interrupted.

>Or yelled at, you’re sick of getting yelled at.

>It makes you feel like you’re five again.

 

>Surprisingly out of all the ponies Pinkie has the fewest words to speak to you.

>”Anon, I just want to let you know that you’ll always be my friend, I just hope I can always be yours.”

“Pinkie-“

>Once again your mouth is held closed by the force of magic.

>She looks at you sadness filling her eyes before turning away.

>”Rainbow did you want to say anything?” Twilight asks.

>You look over to the normally brash mare, For once being quiet and trying to hide in the back.

>”Y-yeah I do.”

 

>Rainbow steps forward pulling a piece of paper from under her wing.

>She coughs nervously, looking back to the other ponies for encouragement, all of which smile gently at her.

>”Anon, for a long time I thought of you as a freak but honestly who wouldn’t I mean look at you,” She chuckles nervously.

>She sounds like she’s reading at a funeral.

>”But once me and you got to talking I realised how cool you were, some even said I looked up to you. All those awesome times hanging out with you by the lake, showing off and just relaxing, out of all my friends I never thought you’d be the one to have a problem.”

“Dash…”

>She cuts you off, ignoring you and continuing to read, “Anon, I started to develop feelings for you, all those nights we spent drinking I always watched myself so I wouldn’t admit it to you.”

>Is she serious?

>”Last thing I wanted was to ruin our relationship and lose my best friend, not like that matters anymore, I lost him already.”

>Oh god she is, fuck you never even knew.

>Her speech tugs at your heartstrings; Even though it’s a non-existent problem, you can tell she believes you’re addicted with her entire heart.

>”Last week when we went to that fancy restaurant, well I was… I was going to tell you that I… That I loved you.”

>You’re shocked you never even noticed.

>All those times you must have unknowingly friend zoned her must have been soul crushing.

>Though now that it’s been pointed out it makes total sense, all those blushes and times she would snuggle up next to you.

>”It wasn’t until the meals arrived and you pulled out a small salt shaker from your jacket,” She pauses, tears welling up in her eyes.

>”I could hardly believe it at first, No it was more like I didn’t want to believe it. Then had the guts to ask me if I wanted some, you joked about it!” She shouts, her voice cracking.

>”M-my mother had a salt addiction, she made me get a job when I was young just to help support her, she died when I was twelve…” Rainbow, pauses, her normally strong façade beginning to crack.

>A lone tear rolls down her face, you want to get up and hug her, comfort your best friend.

>But you can’t, too shocked by what is happening in front of your eyes.

>”I had seen you put salt in your food before, I assumed it was helping you adjust, losing everything in the blink of an eye like you did. It wasn’t until we were at the restaurant, at that moment I realised the one I had ever truly loved ha-had -hic-, “ Rainbow starts openly crying, The five remaining mares all have tears in their eyes as they move in to comfort the rainbow Pegasus.

 

>You rise from your seat, going to go and help comfort the crying Pegasus, still in shock from her sudden admittance of love.

>Only for Rainbow to whip around with blood-shot eyes, “No I wanna finish!” she growls, quickly wiping the tears from her eyes with new found strength.

>You sit back down, mostly due to the venom in her voice.

>”Anon I can’t and I won’t see you again until you can get over this, And even then I hardly think I’ll ever be able to see you the same way again!” She turns away as she finishes.

“Y-you seriously love me?” You ask cautiously.

>”Loved! As in already happened!” Applejack snarls, stepping forward and putting herself between you and Dash, “But ya’ll are too inta ya salt ta even take notice o’ those closest to ya!”

 

>You know, this is fucking stupid, why are you still sitting here?

“Listen to me!” You shout, slamming a fist onto the table.

>The group of ponies to instantly silence, staring at you with wide eyes.

“I don’t have a salt addiction, I never have and I never will!”

>”Anon please just admit it, you need help!” Twilight pleads.

“No I don’t! I never even knew you ponies had salt as some kind of drug, Humans can’t get high or whatever on salt!”

>”Anonymous, Just because you’re a human doesn’t mean you can get away with it!”

>Rainbow steps forward tears in her eyes, “Anon please, just get some help, for me…”

“Look at yourself Rainbow! Look at all of you! I’m not addicted!”

>”That’s exactly what somep0ny who is addicted would try ta tell us!” Applejack replies.

>God for probably the most level headed pony why did she also have to be the most stubborn.

“You want proof? How is this for proof?” You shout, the group of mares flinching at your voice.

>You bend down and lick as much salt as you can in one mouthful.

>Instinctively you bite down, the crystals grinding in your teeth.

>Somehow you manage to swallow a large amount, the remainder aborbing whatever moister is in your mouth.

>Your lips crack, and your contracting throat makes it impossible to talk.

>Trying to lick your dry lips only succeeds in agitating them further, the group of ponies being no help as they stare at you with wide eyes.

>You scramble to get the glass of water off the table and into your mouth.

>Sadly, in your frenzy you only succeed in knocking it over, the water plashing across the mare’s hooves startling them out of their shock.

>”Girls quick we’ve got to save him!” Twilight shouts levitating you out the door.

 

>You gasp like a fish out of water as the group runs through the streets of Ponyville, you floating in a field of magic between them.

>Rainbow lands on your chest hugging you tightly, “Anon I’m sorry this is my entire fault, Listen I won’t leave you okay!” She pleads, pushing her head into your chest, “I’m sorry…”

>You move your hand onto her neck, parting the multi-coloured strands of her mane.

>She looks up to you, Tears still flowing from her eyes, You give a gentle smile in return.

“Water…”

>Or at least that’s what you wanted to say, instead what sounds like a hash hissing sound comes out.

>”Fluttershy he’s delirious! Look at him can you do anything!” Rarity screams.

>Damn and you thought you were pulling off a five star I’m okay smile and plea for water.

>”Oh my, oh my” Fluttershy mumbles as she hovers around you looking for anyway to help you.

>If only you could get some water you could tell them you’re perfectly sane.

“Wa- water”

>Your voice comes out as a raspy half choke.

>”Anon, Please you can’t die on me!” Dash sobs, not paying the slightest attention to your words.

>None of them do, it seems to make them move faster so that’s a bonus.

>You just throw your head back, figuring it’s useless to get them to understand.

>You runs your fingers through Rainbows coat, besides Dash is really soft on your chest.

 

>Eventually you make it to the hospital, The whole group minus Rainbow is panting heavily as you burst into the lobby.

>”We need a doctor!” Pinkie yells as Twilight lays you across some seats, Rainbow still has her face pressed into your shirt, a damp spot where her eyes are.

>You spot a water cooler on the other side of the room.

>A nurse rushes over and starts examining you. Not that you really care.

“R-rainbow.” You gasp, finally regaining some more alibility in your mouth.

>”Anon don’t talk! Just hang on the doctor’s gonna be here in a second!” She tells you, “You can help him right!” She shouts, grabbing the nurse.

>You know what, fuck this.

>Wrapping one arm around the sky blue pegasus you sit up, clutching her to your chest.

>With your spare hand you push the nurse away, instantly gaining the attention of everyone in the room.

>You are mobbed by pleading ponies, begging you to stay still.

>If anything could turn you off your beloved salt it’s probably this experience.

>”What are you doing Anon?” Rainbow asks from your chest, her wings beating against your arms frantically.

>You chuckle at her antics, only for it to come out as a raspy cough.

>Man you probably do sound like you’re dying.

>Making your way to the water cooler you don’t even bother pulling one of the cups out, instead opting to stick your mouth beneath the tap, much to the nurses displeasure.

>You eagerly gulp it down, the water hydrating your cracked mouth.

>The salty taste causes you to splutter slightly, and your mouth is still sore but you feel a lot better.

“Fuck I needed that!” you gasp out, water dripping from your salty lips.

>Realising you are still holding Rainbow to your chest you wrap your other arm around her, hugging tightly.

>You’ve been here a while, and you’re not going home anytime soon.

>If any mare is going to take your pony virginity you’d be happy if it was Dash.

>Your Dash, You think as you pull her to your lips giving her a kiss.

>Rainbows eyes widen as your lips touch,  shortly afterwards she falls into the gesture, pushing back into you.

 

“Can I go now?”

>You ask the doctor.

>For the past thirty minutes you’ve sat through test after test.

>”Hmm, Oh yes by all means, you’ll need to fill out the paperwork at the nurse’s station first though.”

>You exit the room, only to be swarmed by the multi-coloured equines you know as your friends.

“See I told you salt doesn’t do anything to me,” You boast proudly.

>The group all shuffles nervously on their hooves.

>”Ah guess we owe ya’ll an apology Anon, Ah’m ‘specially sorry for firin’ ya and ya’ll welcome back at any time, extra pay.”

“It’s okay Applejack it’s all water under the bridge. I know you were all just looking out for me, And I appreciate having such good friends.”

>You look at the group of mares again counting only five, the pony you were hoping to see missing.

“Where’s Rainbow?”

>Twilight chuckles, “You see Anon, You may not be affected by salt, But Rainbow is. The excess salt on your lips… well she’s in a spare hospital bed wearing off the effects.

>Huh, well aren’t you an idiot?

>It probably didn’t help that you slipped your tongue in during the kiss.

 

>”Hey uh Anon?”

>It’s late at night, almost ten; all the other ponies have gone home after many apologies, leaving just you and Rainbow.

>She was released not long after you, Though she was awfully wobbly for the next hour or so, you think she was just using it as an excuse for you to carry her.

“What’s up?”

>”W-well you know how I said all that stuff?”

“Yeah…”

>”Well I understand if you don’t want to hang out anymore.”

“What are you talking about?”

>”Don’t play dumb Anon!” Dash growls, “You know exactly what I mean.”

“Uh… not really, why wouldn’t I want to hang out with you?”

>”Because I love you,” She mumbles softly.

“Because you love me?”

>”Yes! Ugh, just tell me that you don’t feel the same way or something I’m sick of just waiting!”

“Dash if I didn’t feel the same way even slightly I would have told you straight away.”

>”Huh?”

“I thought I made it clear already when I kissed you.”

>”You kissed me?” She asks confusion in her voice.

“Uh… Yeah in the waiting room remember? Not even five minutes after we arrived.”

>”No way, you totally didn’t!”

“Yes way, I totally did!” You argue back playfully, sticking your tongue out as you do.

>”I can’t remember much after you decided to be cool and show off how much salt you could eat!”

“Well for starters, this happened!”

>You reach out grabbing her quickly, before pulling her closer and meeting lips.

>It only lasts a few seconds and there is nothing more than your lips touching her, But it conveys more emotion than anything.

>You look at Rainbow, she has her eyes clenched shut, tears leaking from the sides.

“Are you okay?” you ask, concerned you might have hurt her when you grabbed her.

>”Y-yeah, just trying to make sure I don’t forget this time.” She whispers before leaning in for another kiss.