Title:           Celestia can't iPhone
Author:          writefagforpie
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/fAmq40JV
First Edit:      Saturday 29th of November 2014 11:00:01 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Saturday 29th of November 2014 11:08:02 PM CDT

>Celestia had found herself in a very interesting country.
>By interesting, she completely meant terrifying.
>The moment she had managed to find civilization, she was horrified.
>All around her were giant metal contraptions that ran around at super high speeds with people inside of them.
>There were giant screens with people's faces on them everywhere and words she couldn't understand.
>Luckily for her, she managed to compose herself long enough to cast a translation spell so she could question the first native she met.
>She asked them where she was, to which they replied with Tokyo, Nippon.
>She thanked him and continued into the terrifying maze of giant buildings and people.
>There were so many people walking around shoulder to shoulder that she could barely get a good fresh breath of air.
>No one seemed to give her strange looks for any reason.
>She decided that maybe she could learn more about where she was from a store or something.
>She walked into the first store she saw and took a moment to breathe in fresh air.
>She walked around and saw all sorts of small glowing screens mounted on tables around the room.
>The devices intrigued Celestia, and as she approached one and touched it, the screen changed.
>She recoiled, but her curiosity got the better of her.
>She fiddled with the screen for a moment longer before the store keeper approached her.
"May I help you with something, Miss?"
>"Uhm, I don't know. What are these things?"
"Oh, these are the new iPhone 15's! We're currently 9 whole models ahead of the United States here in Nippon!"
>"iPhone? What do they do?"
"Oh, what can't they do? You can call people obviously, surf the web, take pictures, send those pictures directly to people, spy on the Chinese government, order food, pay bills, clean your house, get you off, change the TV channel, anything you can possibly imagine!"
>"Sounds like some powerful magic, if it can do all of these things!"
"Oh, it's not magic! Just pure technological genius!"
>Not magic? How could that be? Surely he was joking.
>"How can this not be magic, surely..." She went to probe the device, and felt no magical aura whatsoever coming from it.
>Celestia screamed and bolted from the store, galloping through the crowd as fast as it would let her.
>This place was doing all of this without a single bit of magic, she found.
>Her mind was breaking at the thought of it.
>She took flight and decided to fly out of the satanic city
>As soon as she did, a loud, metal, whirling bird of some sort floated near her with people inside taking pictures.
>This contraption was demonic!
>She shot a bolt of energy at the helicopter, shutting it down and causing it to fall to the ground and explode.
>Much screaming insued, and Celestia snapped, beginning to shoot and destroy anything technological she found
>Within minutes, the Japanese military had showed up on the site and were preparing to take out the pony princess
>Celestia's rage built and she threw up a force field, just in time to catch hhundreds of bullets being shot at her.
>She exploded in a bright ball of fire, which then shot down towards a line of soldiers.
>they never stood a chance, and their bodies burned from her mighty fury.
>Tanks and more helicopters rolled in, but they met with the same fate as the soldiers.
>Celestia's rainbow mane and tail had turned to flame, and her magical powers had escalated to beyond those of any mortal unicorn.
>Helicopters were shot down from the skies and tanks were turned to smoldering piles of ash.
>After thirty straight minutes of fighting, Celestia's magical stores began to grow weak.
>She landed on the ground, panting heavily, as her shield finally dropped.
>A lone soldier stepped forward with his rifle, aiming it right at her head.
>With one motion of his finger, the onslaught had come to a halt, as Celestia's body slumped to the ground