What Is That?

        It was a warm day in Downtown City. The sun shone from a cloudless sky over the millions that called the metropolis home. In keeping with its roots as a port town, Downtown City maintained a steady supply of tourists, freight, and export from its various harbors and highways. However, as times changed so too did Downtown City, a new airport had been built and with it an influx of jobs for air-traffic controllers, engineers, maintenance crews, and pilots. It just so happened that one of those pilots was flying in from abroad, eager to surprise his daughter with an exotic present, one that he was certain would cause an uproar in his humble little family.

                        *********************

        “ALAAAAARM!!” a small brown hedgehog shouted, his peaked cap nearly falling off his head as he scrambled down the footstool and into the cardboard box submarine. “They’ve spotted us! Down thirty meters Leutnant Trent!”

“Jawohl herr kaleun!” the smartly dressed terrier saluted quickly and began turning an imaginary hand crank. “Dive! Dive! Dive!”

        “We must get through the Strait of Gibraltar! It won’t be easy, but we’ll make through somehow!”

        “How hard could it be to get through something straight?” Penny Ling said, a cardboard periscope in her paws. “Just go in one end and come out the other!”

        Russell rolled his eyes. “It’s not straight, it’s a strait!”

        “Is it a straight strait?” Pepper chipped in, a wry smile on her face.

        “Torpedoes don’t talk, Pepper!” Russell said.

“Myeh,” Pepper grumbled and turned back to the corner.

        “PING! PING! PING!” Minka shouted from outside the box-sub. “Pip-pip cheerio, we’ll show you Axis blokes what for!”

        “Minka not yet!” Zoe shouted back. “We’re still diving!”

        “I am not Minka! I am the HMS Kraut Bane! PING! PING! PING!”       

“Heeeeere we come to save the daaaaaay!!” Vinnie trumpeted as he and Sunil rushed into the bridge with a tub in their hands. “We got that axel grease you wanted!”

        Russell blinked in confusion. “What.”

        Sunil nodded and gestured at the tub. “You said we’d need to put Vaseline on the sub to get through Gibraltar.”

        “That was a figure of speech!”

        “Well now what are we gonna do with a tub of Vaseline?” Vinnie whined.

        “I’m sure you’ll think of something!” Russell said wryly.

        “And just what’s that supposed to mean?!” Vinnie stormed over to Russell, only to be restrained by Sunil. “You know I’m self-conscious about my skin condition!”

        PINGPINGPING! Depth charges away! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!” the excitable monkey cried, punctuating each boom by smashing a broom handle against the cardboard box.

        “Das wasserbombe!” Sunil shrieked as he leapt to the floor.

        There was a ripping sound as the broom handle tore through the cardboard walls, causing the poorly constructed cardboard submarine to collapse around the pets in a shambles. As the dust settled Minka approached the wreckage, broom handle in hand. “So much for German engineering.”

        “Minka!” Russell groaned. “That took ten whole minutes to make! And we’re supposed to get destroyed after a triumphant rise from the bottom of the ocean.”

        “Bummer,” Pepper muttered from her corner.

        Minka shrugged, brandishing the broom handle like a weapon. “I guess I got too into character. I am Kraut Bane: DESTROYER.”

        Penny Ling and Vinnie dug through the fallen panels, pulling a cowering Sunil from the rubble. “You have a skin condition?”

        Vinnie rubbed his arm dejectedly. “You didn’t notice how dry and scaly it is?”

        Penny Ling ran a paw across her chin in contemplation. “But…you’re a lizard.”

        Vinnie scoffed and pulled Sunil to his feet. “Oh sure, let’s go there.”

        “Hey,” Zoe approached the plexiglass divide between the day camp and the main store. “Isn’t that Roger?”

        “He’s been gone as since Blythe left for that camping trip,” Russell cupped his paws around his face as he peered through the window. “I was getting worried something had happened to him.”

        Roger opened up the passenger-side door and pulled out a large fenestrated box, he didn’t seem to struggle with it but his gait while carrying it indicated something at least moderately heavy.

        “What’s he carrying? It’s too big to be a suitcase.”

        Roger suddenly looked up and around, as though looking for anyone who might be watching. He seemed to whisper to the box before setting it down in front of the building’s main door. He quickly made his way over to the Littlest Pet Shop and entered.

        “Mrs. Twombly, you here? I have something to show you.” Roger spotted the pets watching him intently and smiled. “You guys wouldn’t know where the lady of the house is, would you?”

        “She went out to pick up a missing part to this play set she bought,” Zoe said, gesturing at the sprawl around them. “The boxes were more fun.”

        “He can’t understand you, remember?” Pepper said.

        “I see you little guys have been up to your usual shenanigans, eh?” Roger said with a chuckle, pointing at the ruined ‘submarine’. “Hey, you bunch think you can keep a secret?”

        The pets all looked at each other, then back to Roger and nodded.

“Well…you guys will be getting a new friend real soon, so get ready! Blythe and I are getting a pet!”

All the pets gasped in surprise. “What?!”

 

INTRO MUSIC

 

        Blythe tapped scribbled in her notebook as the camp bus ferried her to her home. She had been gone for a little over a week at an outdoors camp with Youngmee. It had been a lot of fun, despite some of the forest’s bitey-er insects taking a special liking to her. Swatting mosquitoes was easier back when they couldn’t explain that they had hundreds of hungry children to feed.

Getting away from the hubbub of the city and the near-endless stream of nonsense the pets seemed to generate had worked wonders for her creativity. She had filled ten pages in her design book with ensembles for each pet, and even a few human-style designs.

        “What do you think Youngmee?” Blythe said, showing her friend the shawl lapel she was working on. “Too flowery?”

        “Hmmm…” Youngmee drummed her fingers on her cheek. “It’s nice!  Got a bit of nature-y inspiration from the camp?”

        “Yeah, something about how every blends together in the forest really inspired me!”

        “Oak Street stop coming up!” the bus driver shouted to the back.

        The bus slowed to a stop just outside 72 Oak Street. Blythe and Youngmee leapt down the stairwell and waved goodbye to the driver and other campers as they drove away. The camp had been fun, but they couldn’t deny that they had missed their home.

       

The door to the pet shop swung open with a jingle, Blythe stuck her head in and shouted, “Hey everyone! I’m back!”

        Silence greeted her.

        “Hello?” she stepped into the eerily silent store. “Mrs. Twombly? Guys?”

        Blythe approached the day camp area, seeing the cardboard sheets and upturned tub of Vaseline littering the floor. “Glad to see you guys have been keeping busy.”

        The pets were off in the corner of the day camp in a close-knit huddle, they appeared to be talking quietly to each other. Sunil stuck his head up and saw her, warning the others of her arrival. They all shot to their feet and donned amusingly inept casual poses. Zoe delivered a quick kick to Russell’s backside and he stepped forward.

        “O-oh, hey Blythe,” Russell said, hiding his apprehension poorly. “How was camp?”

        “What is it?” Blythe said flatly. “What’s up?”

        “W-what?” Russell stammered. “N-nothing’s up! Why would you thi–?”

        “Yourdadgotapet!” Penny Ling blurted out.

        “Penny Ling!” Zoe said exasperatedly. “Shoot! Now I’m out five Sna-Keez!”

        “Penny Ling, five seconds,” Pepper said calmly, extending her hand. “Stack ‘em up.”

        Sunil, Vinnie and Minka grumbled and handed the skunk five treats each.

        “I’m sorry!” Penny effused. “I’m a bad liar! She was sweating me! I have a condition!”

        “It’s okay, Penny Ling. I–” Russell began before Pepper tapped his shoulder, palm outstretched. “I’ll get it to you later! I-I’m good for it!”

        “My dad got a WHAT?!” Blythe exclaimed. “Why? How? What kind?”

        Russell shrugged. “We don’t know, he came in here and told us he got you a pet.”

        “Yeah! He made us promise not to tell!” Penny said suddenly. “But I wouldn’t lie to you!”

        “I gotta go!” Blythe said urgently, not really listening. “Good seeing you guys again, we’ll talk later!”

        “But–” Russell began, but she was already out the door and running through the entrance. “…Okay, see you later.”

 

        Blythe walked into her apartment, closing the door quietly and sneaking towards the living room. As she got closer she heard her father talking to someone. “I’m sure she’ll love you! What? Blythe is a very loving person and you are a very lovable guy! Yes you are! Don’t deny it! You’re such a humble little fella!”

        “Dad?” Blythe said, turning the corner. “What’s this I hear about you getting a pet?”

        Roger was kneeling next to a transport kennel, he looked up and a smile spread across his face. “Blythe! You’re home! I–wait. Who told you about my surprise?”

        “Oh!” Blythe cleared her throat awkwardly. “Uhh…Ms. Nevla said Ms. Terrio saw you with a kennel. I kinda assumed you got a pet or something.”

        Roger rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue. “I should have known! Those two betties are the eyes and ears of this building!”

        Blythe approached the kennel. “So…?”

        “A-bup-bup!” Roger stepped in front of her. “I think it’s best if you get a little back story here!”

        “What do you mean?” Blythe said, raising her eyebrow.

        “It all started two weeks ago,” Roger began. “I found myself in a kind of ‘unexpected’ vacation. There I was, stuck in Puerto Rico after a devilishly handsome man bearing a passing resemblance to Mitt Romney threw various objects in the jet’s engines…repeatedly. While repairs were underway I was set up at a resort for a few weeks.”

        Blythe sighed and shook her head. “Uh-oh.”

        “Naturally, I escaped into the wild and began roaming the streets. I eventually got, uh…‘spatially misaligned’ and wound up in an alley with some unsavory characters. Words were exchanged, none of which were understood, and it looked pretty bad for your old man! But then the hoodlums took off, screaming like they’d seen a monster! I turned around and there he was, Oaky to the rescue!”

        “Oaky?”

        Roger stepped aside and opened the kennel, Blythe gasped at what stepped out. ‘Oaky’ was a smallish medium-sized dog of some kind, his body long and lithe with narrow hips and broad haunches. He lacked a full coat over his grey-black skin, instead having a streak of coarse-looking brown fur that ran from the top of his head down to the small of his back. He had a long wolfish face with two tall pointed ears and a pair of eerie pale blue eyes. The dog wore an expression that could only be described as contemplative, as though he were examining everything in his surroundings and found little to be of particular interest.

        “What…is he?” Blythe said, leaning in close.

        “He,” Roger said, petting Oaky on the head, “Is a ‘Okee é Isso’. Or, at least, that’s what the Puerto Rican vet said he was. Oaky the Okee é Isso!”

        “Dad…you can’t just bring some random animal home an expect to keep it!”

        Roger pouted and gave Blythe a puppy-dog look. “Please? I’ll feed him and walk him and take real good care of him! I promise!”

        Blythe sighed and relented. “Okay…but he’s your responsibility!”

        “Yes!” Roger fist-pumped and laughed as he gave Oaky an affectionate scratch behind the ears. “Oaky’s a really good dog, Blythe! You won’t regret this!”

        The phone rang from elsewhere in the apartment, Roger shot to his feet. “I’ll get it! You two get acquainted.”

        Blythe sat down next to Oaky and looked over at him, Oaky returning the favor. “So…Oaky, huh?”

        “…”

        “Thanks for helping my dad. Really, I don’t know what I’d do if he got hurt.”

        “…” Oaky stared; a full minute had passed since she had last seen him blink.

        Blythe chuckled nervously. “Not the talkative type, huh?”

        Oaky cocked his head and snorted lightly.

        “Oh!” Blythe said suddenly, snapping her fingers, a relived smile spreading across her face. “Of course you don’t understand a word I’m saying! You probably speak Portuguese! Well don’t worry, I’ll figure something out!”

        “Blythe!” Roger poked his head in from the hallway. “That was Mrs. Twombly! She needs help moving some deliveries to the pet shop! I told her we’d be right over.”

        “Okay, dad! I’ll be right out!” Blythe said with a smile before turning back to Oaky, gesturing broadly as she spoke. “We’ll…be…right…back.”

        “Oh, right!” Roger walked back into the room. “Oaky, I’m going to have to put you back in the kennel, buddy! No offense, I just have some really nice shoes lying around and I don’t want to risk you chewing them.”

        Oaky gave a small respectful nod and walked back into the kennel, Roger shut the door behind him. Blythe watched, an insulted look on her face.

        “C’mon Blythe!”

        “Be right out,” Blythe seethed. “Meet you at the car.”

        Once she heard the door close she turned to Oaky. “So, you understand English, you just don’t want to talk to me! We’re going to have to hash this out when I get back, but if you want to be part of this family you’d better shape up, Oaky!”

        Blythe turned to walk away when she heard a low baritone voice speak. “Subject Babbles Entry #35: upon being taken to Babbles’ nest I have since been introduced to his offspring.” It was Oaky, speaking into his wrist. “Subject is an adolescent female. Hair: brown. Eyes: blue. Approximate height: 160cm. Approximate weight: 55 kilograms. Subject name…” Oaky regarded her for a moment, looking her up and down. “Big Head.”

        “Hey!”

        “Interesting development,” Oaky continued heedless of her objection, “Big Head appears to display a similar delusion regarding trans-species communication as her progenitor. Condition hereditary? Possibly. Further investigation warranted.”

        “Hold up!” Blythe said. “Okay! First and foremost, 55 kilos is like…120 pounds! I am, at most, 110! At most! And my dad and I…well, I’m not delusional!”

        Oaky blinked in surprise. “What?”

        “Blythe!” Roger called from outside.

        “Coming!” Blythe said, storming out of the room before turning around and pointing at her head. “And it’s not that big!”

        She stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door as she did.

        “Entry 35.5: This is a monumental development! Subject Big Head has just now displayed fully realized trans-species communicative abilities! Further investigation of these abilities is now my top priority! First order of business: DNA samples.” Oaky put his paw against the mesh bars of the kennel door and pushed to no avail, the slide bolt had been secured. “…Oh, right.”