- >You are Anon
- >You have been wandering around in that godforsaken forest for days now
- >Half the shit you’ve seen in there shouldn’t even exist
- >You’ve barely survived those days, eating almost nothing and relying on a crude stone dagger to defend yourself against the nightmares in the dark.
- >You finally found your way to a worn path
- >A path meant civilization – people! And that meant food!
- >If only you weren’t so exhausted from trying to stay alive for so many days
- >And now there was a purple unicorn thing in front of you
- >”Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle.”
- >Holy fuck, now she’s speaking English
- >”Do you speak Equestrian?”
- >You’re definitely hallucinating
- >But it seems friendly anyways
- >As you walk towards her, she shrinks back in fear
- >Maybe having that blade in your hand wasn’t the best of ideas for making a friend
- >You are standing above her while it is shaking in fear
- “Boo!”
- >She shrieks and hides in her hooves
- >You give a light chuckle
- “Can you help me out here?”
- >She looks at you, confused
- >”You mean you don’t want to hurt me?”
- “Why would I? Is it because I came out of the forest?”
- >”Well, you, erm, humans have a history of being unnaturally violent.”
- >You can’t disagree with that
- “Well, horses have a history of not being able to talk.”
- >She seems offended by that remark.
- >”I am a p0ny, thank you very much. Maybe now I won’t help you.”
- >Oh come on!
- “Please, I’m starving and completely exhausted. I can barely stand right now.”
- >”But how do I know you won’t pull anything?”
- “Did you not hear me? I’m barely alive.”
- >”Fine, but I’ve got to make sure.”
- >A soft light glows around her horn
- >After a few minutes of standing there with nothing happening, she gives up
- >She has an even more confused face than before
- >Dafuq was all that about.
- >”Why didn’t my magic work on you?”
- “Magic?”
- >”I tried to cast a spell to restrain you magically, but it was like trying to restrain the air.”
- “That makes close to no sense to me but okay. Can we go now?”
- >"But-"
- "I'm dying of exhaustion here!"
- >”Fine, but don’t fall behind.”
- >You walk down the path for a while in silence
- >It occurs to you that you hadn’t introduced yourself. How rude.
- “By the way, my name is Anonymous. Anon for short.”
- >”Mmhmm. Nice to meet you Amon.”
- >Geez, and you thought that you were rude?
- >She seems to be deep in thought about something
- >If you had to guess it would probably be something about that magic thing earlier
- >You finally see the light of day as you exit the forest
- “YEAHHHHHHHHH!!”
- >Finally, fresh air!
- >If you saw another tree again, you’d probably blow up
- >The purple pony didn’t seem to hear you for some reason
- >If everybody around here was like her, this place would not be enjoyable, you felt
- >You notice a small cottage in the field by the forest
- >How quaint
- >And creepy
- >Especially the yellow and pink pony peering at you through one of the windows
- “Uh, Twilight Sparkle? What’s up with the pony in there?”
- >She snaps out of her trance, if only to answer
- >”Oh, Fluttershy? She’s just really shy. Although, since you’re a new animal around here, she might get interested in you.”
- “I am not an animal, thank you very much.”
- >She didn’t seem to hear – she went straight back into her trance
- >You leave the clearing, on a long road to a town you can see in the distance
- >When suddenly
- >asdfwhere did that ditch come from?
- >You fall pretty far
- >Good thing you had good ukemi from your pro parkour skills
- >You stand at the bottom of the hole, relatively unscathed but a bit disoriented
- “Hey! Twilight!”
- >No response
- “Hey! Hello?! Is anybody out there?!”
- >You see the yellow pony poke her head out over the mouth of the hole
- >What was her name? Flubbershy?
- “Hey Flubbershy! Can you help me out of here?”
- >”…”
- >She’s so damn quiet you can’t make out a word she says.
- >She flies down and stands right next to you.
- >Wait what
- >You look closer and see that she’s a Pegasus
- “Uh, hi. I’m Anon. Can you help me out of here?”
- >“…[eep]”
- >You can still barely hear her
- “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.”
- >”…Y-you’re not going a-anywhere, m-mister.”
- “Do you mean to tell me that you set this up? To kidnap me or something?
- >”Y-yes”
- >Nobody in their right mind would actually admit to doing that
- >She just hides behind her mane shyly
- >You’re just confused, how could such a creature try to pull something like this?
- “Well, I want to get out of here, so-“
- >You are cut off by the Pegasus tackling you to the ground
- >Normally the amount of force that she exerted wouldn’t faze you
- >But considering that you haven’t had any rest for days kind of weakened you
- >A little
- “So is this some kind of greeting you p0nies have or something?”
- >”O-or something.”
- “Well, could you get off? This is uncomfortable.”
- >It’s as if she’s trying to rape you
- >Holy shit, she is trying to rape you!
- >She somehow manages to unbuckle your belt and undo your zipper
- >How does she do that with hooves?
- >Despite your struggles to get her off, she continues to pull down your pants and boxers
- >You try sitting up again, but her weight on your chest keeps your weak body down
- “Stop! This is rape! Get off of me!”
- >She turns around and looks you in the eyes
- >She didn’t have those innocent Bambi eyes like she did before
- >Now they were bedroom rapeface eyes
- >”You’re right this is rape, now submit!”
- >Where did nice shy Flubbershy go? You liked her better
- >You try to push her off again, but to no avail
- >She’s pinned your upper body down for good now
- >She turns around for your flaccid member and shoves her rear in your face
- >Right as she goes down, you hear a voice coming from up above
- >You never thought that you would be so happy to hear that awkward purple pone
- >”Fluttershy! Anon! You stop that right now! This is not the time for that!”
- >You feel the weight on your chest lift as Fluttershy flies up
- >Noticing a draft on your nether parts, you quickly redress yourself as Twilight looks on
- >You stand up and rub your back
- >The dagger left an impression in your back that’s probably going to stay for a while
- >Twilight teleports to the bottom with an angry look on her face
- >”Explain yourself! How could you do this to poor Fluttershy?!”
- “What? She was the one who assaulted me! I’m the victim here!”
- >”H-he, uh, asked me to do that.”
- >Oh hell naw, that girl ain’t accusing you of rape!
- “And I dug this hole in less than a minute and trapped the flying Pegasus down here with me, sure!”
- >”Whatever it is, save it. You’re not a trustworthy creature to begin with. I’ll just write to Princess Celestia about this – she’ll know what to do.”
- >Oh great. Not an hour in this place and you’re already getting put on trial
- >”Meanwhile, I’ll have to ask you to come to the library with me.”
- >The library? Not the prison or courthouse? Now that’s different.
- >She leads you to the library, looking to make sure you didn’t wander off again
- >You get to the library and are shocked at the sight before you.
- >It’s a gigantic tree-
- >”Just get in the damn library already.”
- >Geez, can’t even finish an internal monologue?
- >You walk inside and see that it is, indeed, a library
- >There are books on every wall around you
- >Because that’s what a library is, dumbass
- >”Spike! I need you to write a letter to the Princess!”
- >”Coming!” a voice from upstairs responds
- >Another p0ny? Maybe finally a male one in this matriarchal place?
- >Nope, a tiny dragon
- >You’ve had way too many what the fucks today, but what the fuck? A dragon?
- >”Who’s the new guy?”
- “I’m Anon-“
- >Twilight cuts you off
- >”Just take the letter, Spike.”
- >She goes on about meeting somebody named Zecora who apparently is a stoner and how she met you.
- >She takes care to include details on how the human race is supposed to be extinct and that they were a violent people
- >Then she goes on about you, particularly about the “rape incident” with Fluttershy
- >All the while glaring at you
- >As soon as Spike finishes writing, he seals it and sets it aflame.
- “So…what’s going to happen to me?”
- >”Hopefully Princess Celestia will intervene and prevent you from disrupting the harmony in Equestria”
- >As if on cue, a flame comes shooting out of Spike’s mouth and a scroll lands in front of the pony
- >She picks it up and starts reading it. You catch parts here and there where she mutters aloud
- >”…no immediate threat…keep watch…use the Elements…befriend him…”
- >She sight, puts the scroll on a desk, and trots up to you.
- >”The Princess orders that you be treated as a friend during your stay here in p0nyville
- >”However, that does not absolve you of the crimes you or your species have committed
- >”In order for you to learn about each aspect of friendship, you will have to spend some time with each Element of Harmony”
- “Elements of Harmony?”
- >”Yes, the Elements are ponies who embody each aspect of friendship - Applejack’s honesty, Fluttershy’s kindness, Pinkie Pie’s laughter, Rarity’s generosity, Rainbow Dash’s loyalty, and my magic
- >”For the next week, you will have to spend a day with each member of Harmony”
- “That doesn’t seem too bad.”
- >”You’re right, and you’re lucky. If I had my way, you’d be in the dungeon by now. I’m warning you now, I’m watching you. One hoof out of line and I’m sending you back to the Forest.”
- “You and what magic? It seems that your magic can’t do shit to me.”
- >As soon as those words left your mouth, you immediately regretted it
- >The room grew dark and the fire shot up from the ground around you
- >”Oh trust me, I can and I will find a way. Mark my words.”
- >The room went back to normal. You almost pissed yourself from that.
- >”But that’s only if you mess up,” she says with a smile
- >You recollect yourself and stop yourself from shaking.
- “So where am I going to stay while I’m here?”
- >”You’ll have to stay with me, here in the library. I have an extra bed in one of the side rooms.”
- >Damn, this place is her house too?
- “Okay, great.
- >”You will have to report back here by sundown. I also want to conduct some experiments of my own while you’re around.”
- “I am not going to be treated like a lab rat!”
- >”Would you rather be sent into the Forest?”
- >That shut you up good. You really want to strangle this bitch, she’s making life horrid
- “So who do I have to go hang out with first?”
- >Without skipping a beat, Twilight answers you. “Well, seeing as you tried to rape her, I want you to see Fluttershy first. Maybe she can teach you a thing or two about being kind to others.”
- ”I wasn’t the one who-“
- >”Not another word! I definitely saw you advancing on poor Fluttershy. Now you will visit her first thing after the sunrise or there will be consequences!”
- >You haven’t woken up before 8 AM for years now. Fuck those 8 AM lectures. But getting up at sunrise? Shit, that’s at like 6 in the morning!
- “Fine, whatever you say.”
- >You're obviously not in a position where you can do otherwise.
- >”Good to see we are in agreement. Now go to bed. You have a long day ahead of you.”
- >You take a shit, shower, and shave before going to bed
- >How are you going to get yourself out of this mess?
- >Fucking Fluttershy