Title: 4chan AiE: The Scrumptious Dragon, part 1 Author: videogamefanatic89 Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/kVNy3jsu First Edit: Thursday 3rd of May 2012 11:35:20 PM CDT Last Edit: Thursday 3rd of May 2012 11:35:20 PM CDT The Scrumptious Dragon, Part ONE   >Be anon >Be at home, laying in bed, weekend, bored as fuck >Sudden extreme tunnel vision >Feels like being stretched >Hits ground hard 'Where the fuck am I?' >You look up. Be in forest. Seems pretty dark, but somehow fluffy and colorful >Get up, check wrist-watch "What the fuck?" >Watch spinning and fluttering randomly and rapidly >Look up, see through canopy >You swear you see a blue thing fly through the sky and makes a cloud disappear >You look again, it's gone >Kind of creeped out by the fluffy, colorful, dark forest. >Start walking. See a few trees with faces, look like jackolanterns 'Must be halloween' >You laugh, the faces disappear for no apparent reason >Continue walking >Nothing else interesting happens for a while >See large blue flowery stuff. Walk through it >You see light, probably an exit to the forest >Breach the exit 'AH! FUCK!'   >Everything is so damn bright. It hurts your eyes. They literally feel on fire >Your eyes take a while to adjust >See bright green, flowery hills. Everything is pastel colored >Continue walking, see an organic looking cottage. Animals are all around it >Walk up to it, look into one of the front windows >See a small yellow horse. You just realized this looks like a fucking flash animation >Birds and rabbits surrounding yellow horse >She looks happy. You decide to leave the horse alone >You have the weirdest boner right now. Ignore it >You decide to walk down a trail. See a few other houses, a mailbox in front of each. >Notice you wouldn't fit through the doors walking upright >Not that you'd try it, that would be stupid >See some more cartoon horses scattered. They look scared of you. >A grey one walks up to you Did I just say walk, I meant FLY. >A grey one flies up to you. >Notice bubbles on her ass >"Hi! Who are you?!" 'Oh fuck, they can talk' "Uhhhhhhh.. I'm Anonymous." >"Well hello there Anonymous! I'm Derpy! 'Someone named derpy? How the fuck does that happen?'   >Awkward silence >Derp begins slowly talking >"You look weird. What are you anyways? You're not like most ponies around here" "I'm a homo-sapien" 'Why the fuck did I just use that term, opposed to something like "person" or "human"' >"I'm a pony!" 'So they call themselves ponies. Interesting...' "Where is everyone, uh... pony?" >"Let's see, I see a one in the clouds in the sky. OOH! There's one in the ground there, that pony's mailbox number has..." "What? No no no, where are all of the other ponies? This place seems pretty empty, aside from a few random ponies around here" >Oh, yeah! Today's the Summer Sun Celebration! Here Anonymous, follow me!" >You follow Derp. She keeps a slow, steady floating pace you can keep up with   >You and Derpy reach a town. She rambled on all the way there. The only thing you really picked up is that the town you are now in is called Ponyville, and the country is called Equestria >You walk toward the center of Ponyville alongside the floating Derpy >Derpy continues rambling about everything from a space traveling doctor to muffins. You're getting weird looks from the other ponies >It appears that there are 3 types of ponies: Pegasi, Unicorns, and regular run-of-the-mill ponies >You and Derpy walk towards a house built into a tree. It appears to be a library because of the book sign next to it. >"...and I'm sure you could learn alot more about us from reading the books in Twilight's library! She has lots and lots of books! All the ponies just LOOOOOVE reading them..." 'Why won't she just shut up!?' >You and Derpy open the door engraved with a candle in the front of the library >A very very surprised purple pony is on the other side of the door, and she jumps and let's out a short scream. Her reaction makes you jump backwards a little bit. Derpy was not phased at all.   >"Oh... um, hi there!" The purple pony regains her composure. "You're a..." The purple pony inspects you for a second. "Wait, I think I know what you are! You're a Homo-Sapien right? Oh man oh man oh man! I haven't ever seen one of you in pony before! This is so exiting! I've always wondered what a homo-sapien would be like, I mean, all I know about you ponies was learned from books an..." >This is boring you. >You start to wonder when anything truly interesting will actually happen. Hopefully soon. You happen to get the weirdest boner again. >You notice a baby dragon organizing books on the shelves in the library. "Oh my god, that dragon looks so adorable I could eat it!" >The purple pony pauses for a second "I know! He's sooo ador... wait, did you just say you would 'eat' my dragon? Don't you dare!" >You just realized how fucking hungry you are. God damn it you need something in your belly right this instant!