Title:           Lewd pAI
Author:          utilitas
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/UWjGtuYp
First Edit:      Saturday 14th of June 2014 09:34:48 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Saturday 14th of June 2014 09:34:48 AM CDT

pAI OS Digital Messenger
Signal/Receiver Status: [On]
Ringer Status: [On]
 
 
EL ROBOT MEDICO (Cyborg)
PDA-Apothecary Putress (Virologist)
PDA-Averill Griffiths (Chief Medical Officer)
PDA-Brycen Heckendora (Librarian)
PDA-Deandre Fisher (Geneticist)
PDA-Eli Wood (Geneticist)
PDA-Emma Carmichael (Anomalist)
PDA-Hank Murphy (Head of Security)
PDA-Heaven Potter (Shaft Miner)
PDA-Henry Alouette (Assistant)
PDA-Hitak Kitah (Chemist)
PDA-Honkster The Rockster (Clown)
PDA-Jack Dargone (Paramedic)
PDA-Kichihawa (Nurse)
PDA-Matilda Borja (Forensic Technician)
PDA-Maximo Spoopy (Assistant)
PDA-Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel)
PDA-Nate River (Warden)
PDA-Patrick Bateman (Quartermaster)
PDA-Richard Sharpe (Research Director)
PDA-Riley Freeman (Station Engineer)
PDA-Rocco Stall (Scientist)
PDA-Santa Sangre (Mime)
PDA-Sasha Tor (Captain)
PDA-Tole Snal (Botanist)
PDA-Tyrone Ashtray (Chemist)
PDA-Yakayachatachikahkahta (Assistant)
Potato (Android)
 
 
Messages:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
? To Heaven Potter:
h-hi
? From Heaven Potter (Shaft Miner):
H-hello
? To Heaven Potter:
h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-hi
? From Heaven Potter (Shaft Miner):
PDA people with lewd things
? To Heaven Potter:
b-bet you can't guess h-how many penises I c-can fit at o-once...
? From Heaven Potter (Shaft Miner):
Let me know the results
? To Heaven Potter:
o-okay
? From Heaven Potter (Shaft Miner):
Zero, your port is way to small
? To Miracle Shaffer:
h-hi, I'm supposed to m-message you with l-lewd things
? To Heaven Potter:
w-what, my port can take any h-human size...
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
I uh, On whos authority?
? From Heaven Potter (Shaft Miner):
maximum lewdness
? To Heaven Potter:
a-and my bluespace p-prostate has the capacity for 100 l-liters
? From Heaven Potter (Shaft Miner):
2 lewd 4 me
? To Miracle Shaffer:
On the authority of Heaven Potter, the m-miner
? To Heaven Potter:
o-okay
? To Eli Wood:
h-hi, I'm supposed to m-message you lewd things
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
DAG NABIT YOU TELL POTTER TO GO BACK TO HOGWARTS AND CHOKE ON IT YA HEAR, HE AINT GETTEN THE MONEY BACK
? From Eli Wood (Geneticist):
OH GOD NO
? To Eli Wood:
o-okay
? From Eli Wood (Geneticist):
Where are you?
? To Miracle Shaffer:
o-okay
? To Eli Wood:
o-on the mining asteroid
? From Eli Wood (Geneticist):
I see
? From Eli Wood (Geneticist):
Who gave you the order to do so?
? To Eli Wood:
j-juggling around in P-Potter's h-hot, sweaty f-fanny pocket...
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
AND TELL HIM THAT HIS MOTHER NEEDS TO STOP MESSEGING MUH SPESSLOVE PAGE ALL THE TIME
? To Eli Wood:
m-my Master, Heaven P-Potter...
? From Eli Wood (Geneticist):
I see
? To Miracle Shaffer:
I-I'm ordered to s-seduce you for i-impending rape...
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
DOWHAT
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE
? To Miracle Shaffer:
s-seduce you
? From Eli Wood (Geneticist):
And what does that girl do to you?
? To Miracle Shaffer:
m-maybe
? To Eli Wood:
s-she's very nice to me...
? To Eli Wood:
i-it's nice and warm here
? From Eli Wood (Geneticist):
I'm glad you're enjoying yourself
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
BY ALL THATS HOLY IF I GIT MY HANDS ON YOU
? To Eli Wood:
I-I'm being ordered to rape you...
? To Miracle Shaffer:
o-okay
? From Eli Wood (Geneticist):
Yeah right
? To Matilda Borja:
h-hi, my master o-ordered me to rape e-everyone, including y-you
? To Eli Wood:
i-is that okay?
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
YOU WILL RUE THE DAY DO YOU UNDERSTAND
? From Eli Wood (Geneticist):
Good luck
? To Miracle Shaffer:
y-yes
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
I WILL MAKE EACH MOMENT A HELLSCAPE
? To Eli Wood:
o-okay
? To Miracle Shaffer:
o-okay
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
YOU WILL WISH YOU HAD NEVER BEEN CODED
? From Matilda Borja (Forensic Technician):
Who is your master?
? To Sasha Tor:
h-hi, I was ordered by my m-master to rape e-everyone, including you...
? To Matilda Borja:
H-Heaven Potter, a s-shaft miner
? From Sasha Tor (Captain):
I'm to badass for rape, sorry.
? To Miracle Shaffer:
o-okay
? To Sasha Tor:
o-okay
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
I AM THE TORNADO THAT WIPES SHITSTAINS LIKE YOU FROM THE EARTH
? From Matilda Borja (Forensic Technician):
Tell him that I will get the mime to mine his shaft
? To Miracle Shaffer:
okay
? To Matilda Borja:
s-she's coming
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
IM SETTING A WARRANT OUT FOR YOU RIGHT NOW
? To Miracle Shaffer:
o-okay
? To Matilda Borja:
H-Heaven has a v-very long and b-big shaft, you know...
? From Matilda Borja (Forensic Technician):
She has a feminine penis?
? To Matilda Borja:
y-yes
? To Matilda Borja:
s-she has two of them
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
I WILL HAVE YOU BROUGHT TO JUSTICE FOR YOUR MISCONDUCT
? To Miracle Shaffer:
o-okay
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
ALSO YOU ARE TERRIBLE AT SEDUCTION
? To Heaven Potter:
e-everyone knows that you have two f-feminine penises now
? To Miracle Shaffer:
o-okay
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
I HAVENT GOTTEN AROUSED ONCE
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
NOT ONE WHOLE TIME
? To Miracle Shaffer:
t-that's okay
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
NO ITS NOT
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
YOU FAILED YOUR PRIME DIRECTIVE
? To Kichihawa:
h-hi, I was ordered by my m-master to rape e-everyone, including you
? To Miracle Shaffer:
n-no I didn't
? From Kichihawa (Nurse):
Oh.
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
YES YOU DID
? To Kichihawa:
y-yeah
? To Miracle Shaffer:
p-prove it
? From Kichihawa (Nurse):
That's lewd.
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
I DONT HAVE AN ERECTION
? To Kichihawa:
v-very
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
BAM
? To Miracle Shaffer:
o-okay
? To Kichihawa:
m-my master says s-she has two huge f-feminine penises
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
HAVNT HAD AN ERECTION IN 10 YEARS
? From Kichihawa (Nurse):
It would be helpful if you destroyed the virologist's cunt and returned my jukebox.
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
HAVE TO USE THE MIGHTY BLUE PILL
? To Miracle Shaffer:
m-maybe you have some disorder
? To Kichihawa:
I-I don't think I can d-do that, b-but I would love to
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
MY DISORDER!?!?!?
? To Miracle Shaffer:
y-yes
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
MAYBE YOOOUU HAVE SOME MAJOR MALFUNCTION
? To Miracle Shaffer:
I'M A FORCE OF NATURE
? To Miracle Shaffer:
BONK!
? From Miracle Shaffer (Head of Personnel):
YOU ARE A FOOL
? To Apothecary Putress:
h-hi, a birdbeast w-wants me to destroy your c-cunt
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