Three Point Stance *Bolding*

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fucking seriously, trip the fuck up or at least link to your fucking bin at the end

http://pastebin.com/KpG6YVPP

http://pastebin.com/u/Bolding

im getting sick of doing this because someone decided no to trip, link, or even mention a bin

im seriously considering stopping my whole linking back policy because of how often this shit occurs

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>Day 238 in Equestria.

>You are Anonymous, and today was a "guys' day out" kind of day.

>You, Soarin, Manerick, and Whiplash of the Wonderbolts decided to go to Donut Joe's place for lunch.

>All of you decide to order a "Donut for four" and take a seat at a table.

>However, you weren't able to sit still.

>To your discomfort, you had agreed to eat some of Applejack's Apple Chili Dentro del Quemador last night, and it wasn't exactly agreeing with you.

>You could feel your insides churning as they fight themselves.

>Sweat began to pour down your face as your rectum burns like a volcano.

>It was a sign that your body was saying, "Yo, you got like 15 seconds to get to a bathroom unless you want new colored pants."

>Practically sprinting, you head for the bathroom as the confused Wonderbolts watch you run.

>Bursting through the bathroom door, you scare off a colt who was washing his hooves.

>You quickly look inside the stall and dread coming in here immediately.

>There was nothing wrong with the toilet, it was actually rather clean and pristine!

>It was your fear that stopped you. The fear of public restroom toilets.

>There was nothing you hated more than siting on a toilet that someone possibly pissed, shitted, or even ejaculated on.

>Putting paper on the seat didn't feel any better.

>Not having the natural feel of the seat made you uncomfortable.

"Maybe I could just hol-"

>Your insides churn once more, so painfully that your abdominal area feels like it just got hit with a brick.

>So holding it was out of the question.

>Suddenly, your brain proposes a 'bright' idea.

>"Why not get into a three point stance and just angle your bottom with the hole?"

>Great idea brain!

>You place your feet parallel with one another and wrap some paper around your hand, which you place on the floor.

>Angling your ass with the seat, you prepare to let the logs slip out.

>What you didn't anticipate was the explosive diarrhea that erupts from your anus.

>A loud, obnoxious spray can be heard from behind you as your rectum burns with the intensity of a thousand suns.

>It felt like it as if you decided it was a good idea to intake hot sauce up your ass and then shit.

>Inside your head, you keep telling yourself "Don'tlookbackdon'tlookbackdon'tlookback".

>But you had to look.

>YOU JUST HAD TO LOOK.

>From on side to the other, the walls and entire toilet were layer in watery, green, putrid shit.

>You look at it in horror and step back, almost falling over from the pants around your ankles.

"This is horrid mess and someone has to clean it... But that person is not me."

>You grab some paper and wipe yourself clean before washing your hands.

>Walking back to your table, you turn to the guys with a look of concern.

"We have to to go."

>A shit-eating grin crawls onto Soarin's face.

>"What did you do in there?"

"Don't worry about it. We just have to go."

>Soarin quickly jumps from the table as the other two look confused.

>"I have to see what happened."

>He trots over to the bathroom and comes back after a minute or so.

>"Dude, what the buck did you do?!" he says, trying his hardest not to laugh.

"Listen, it's not a matter of what I did, it's a matter of we need to get out of here!"

>Soarin sighs and shakes his head.

>"I'd say we do, especially after what I just did."

>Your heart sinks.

"What did you do?"

>He places his hoof behind his head and scratches it.

>"I 'added' to the mess, if you will. I just really had to take a wizz. So I tried to clean the walls."

>Oh. Dear. God.

>Right now, in that bathroom, laid a pool of shit and piss on the floor.

"We need to get the fuck out now."

>Everyone shakes their heads in agreement and begins to head out.

>Lady Luck must be out to get you today, because as you all headed out, a stallion made his way towards the bathroom.

>You push the three out the door, not before hearing something that raised the hairs on the back of your neck.

>"WHAT THE BUCK HAPPENED IN HERE?!"

>Needless to say, the three of you will never dine in Donut Joe's for the rest of your lives.