Rarity Re-written History

>Been dating Rarity for a few months now

>You two have a solid relationship, the lovey-dovey phase is over and you're at that blissful, enjoying each others company no matter what stage

>It's really great, she's a bit of a sugar mama but you take care of her in other ways

>Even Spike has stopped vandalizing your home and grown to accept you two

>There is just one oddball thing about it

>Every relationship has its little quirks, Rarity's is she cannot go to the bathroom in public without an escort

>The first few times you were a little puzzled, but were polite and did as she asked

>Since then you've grown to accept it but never worked up the nerve to ask her just why you need to be on guard duty when she uses the restroom

>Although, and by no means on purpose, you've heard some of the symphonies she's conducted atop the porcelain orchestra

>Maybe she uses the fact you're the only human around to create a larger distraction than what she potentially could?

>Regardless, one night you decide enough is enough

>During dinner, right between the main course and dessert, she has a very familiar blush and sets her napkin down

"Anon, I need to use the little fillies room"

>She says in her slightly embarrassed but still proper voice tone, but her expression adds a very stern 'now' to the sentence

"Oh, go right ahead. I'd like to order us dessert. I'd like to surprise you with something special"

>She stares, not expecting a refusal, even if it was for a slightly romantic reason

>You hear a very low groan come from her stomach

>Her face goes red

"B-but, Anon....its polite for a gentleman to escort his date to the.....facilities"

>Her eyes are actually pleading with you

>Maybe this is a little more than just a high maintenance quirk of hers?

>Another rumble comes from her side of the table

>Her cheeks flush red and her forelegs begin to quiver

>You nod OK and lead her to the bathroom

>The door is barely closed before the jazz club opens in the restroom

>Standing outside the restroom

>Doing your usual, lean against the doorframe and keep eyes to the ground, routine

>Trying to ignore what Rarity is doing in there, but the sound is hard to drown out

>Begin to whistle

"Anon....deary?"

>The door opens a creek

>Rarity peaks through the crack

"I...we're....there's no..."

>She's so embarrassed its kind of adorable

>You figure out there's no toilet paper and finish the jumble of a sentence for her

>She nods vigorously and closes the door

"Do be a dear and find some with a degree of urgency, honey"

>Least she got her composure back

>Shake your head and head to the colt's room and retrieve a roll

>On your way back, you see another mare enter the other bathroom

>You can't walk in now

>You knock and a completely different voice yells "occupied!"

>So now you're standing there, with the toilet paper, in front of the ladies room, no idea how to get it to her

>Not that you're making a point to listen for them, but Rarity's noises have stopped.

>You look back to your table, its still empty

>Is the poor girl holding it all in till the other mare leaves?

>Standing out there, holding toilet paper

>Few patrons look at you weirdly and you shrug and smile awkwardly

>Meanwhile, the other mare in the bathroom is trying to talk to Rarity

>You can't quite make out what she's saying but she's in no rush to do her business and leave

>You can only imagine how badly Rarity is suffering trying to--

>A very loud release comes from inside

>The other mare stops talking

>You quietly leave your post to pay the bill

>You know Rarity, the second she's done she'll wanna run out the back door than potentially have the other mare ID her

>The bill paid (and the the waiter tipped well to not ask about the toilet paper or why you want to leave via the kitchen) you return to outside the mare's room

>You hear a toilet flush, you know better than to think it's Rarity

>The other mare exits, looking slightly embarrassed herself, but classy enough to say nothing about it

>You wait for the inevitable...

"ANNOoooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!" You were supposed to guard the door!!!"

>Her whines are laced with her sobbing

>You decide now isn't the time to argue that she's the one who sent you away

>You apologize and say you have the toilet paper

"NOT SO-----Not so loud!! Just...come inside....and lock the door behind you! And by Celestia's mane, hurry!"

>Your logical side screams to just talk her through this

>But you know Rarity better than that

>With a quick glance to be sure nobody is looking, you go into the bathroom

>As soon as you step in, a mortified Rarity reiterates the door needs to be locked

>You comply and toss the roll of toilet paper over the stall door

>She still takes a moment to scold you for throwing something at her.

>You ask if she wants you to leave and she nearly screams "NO"

>So you awkwardly wait in the women's room

>The faucets begin to turn on and the other toilets start to flush

>Why would she be using magic to--

>You're answered with a loud release of gas from Rarity's stall

>She's literally that desperate to cover up the noise

>You try and tell her that its no big deal but she won't have any of it

>She can't even properly argue, considering the circumstance she's in

>Deciding the best thing to do is be quiet, you start counting bathroom tiles

>Although Rarity's intestinal distress distracts you a few times, you get to about 83 when you finally hear a toilet flush

>Rarity leaves the stall and walks right to the sink, not making eye contact, and washes her hooves

>You tell her about the paid bill and the arrangements to leave through the kitchen

"The Kitchen!? Oh no-no-no! Anon, we can't be seen leaving a restaurant of this caliber with the....help! We're not musicians!"

>You suggest walking out through the front but that's met with even more resistance

>She finishes washing and gestures to the bathroom window

>She uses her magic to unlatch the lock and open it

>She can't be serious

"Lift me up, Anon, I'll go out this way and meet you in the park across the way! Then we both maintain our dignity"

>You ponder how her going out the window and you leaving the ladies room alone is somehow more dignified than the kitchen but she's already tucking her dress in and tying her hair back

>She positions her fore hooves on the windowsill and instructs you to give her a boost up

>You've resigned to this plan of hers by now and do as you're told

>You grab two squishy handfuls of her rear and push her up

>Despite everything, she giggles and and playfully comments on your eagerness

>You've played with her ass under much nice circumstances but you have to admit even now and even under a layer of silk its still nice

>You get her about halfway through the window when it becomes a bit more difficult

>She wiggles and twists, trying to get the rest of her through

>You give her marshmellow rear another shove

>She must not have been expecting it because that releases a hug blast of gas right into your face

>All movement stops

>She's frozen with embarrassment

>You turn away, glad she can't see your reaction to being farted on

"P....pardon me?"

>You play it off and insist she pay more attention to getting through the window

>She agrees and resumes her squirming and wiggling

>There is a knock at the bathroom door and a rattling of the lock

>Someone's trying to get in

"Occupiiiiiiied!"

>Rarity yells back and begins to panic, her legs kicking and scraping at the wall trying to get through

>You give her rear another push and it replies with another release of gas

>This continues for another minute, every inch she gets further through the window comes with an announcement from her silk covered rear

>She's practically crying she's apologizing so much

>The knocking at the bathroom door gets louder

>You're trying very hard not to laugh at how ridiculous this is all is

>Finally, with one more push and one more long release of wind, she's through

>She hits the ground and runs faster than you've ever seen her move before toward the park

>Leaving you standing in the bathroom alone

>You hear a key go into the bathroom door

>You'd take a deep breath but the air is a little...funky

>You close the window just in time for the bathroom door to swing open

>Its the waiter from earlier and a very confused old mare

>You nervously explain they were out of toilet paper

>The waiter is now equally puzzled and inquires about your date

>You and Rarity are regulars after all

>The old mare absently asks if this is the right bathroom

>You blurt out she went for a walk before pushing your way out of the bathroom and leaving the establishment

>Won't be going back there for awhile

>Oh who are you kidding, knowing Rarity the whole street will be off limits for the next century

>Speaking of Rarity, you head to the park to look for her

>You find her on a park bench

>She sees you and trots over

>You wonder how this is going to go

>She's not crying, that's a good sign, though her makeup is a mess

>You keep that bit of information to yourself

"It's a beautiful night, Anon! You should walk me through the park, it would be a fabulous way to end our evening!. Anything to take our minds off that dreadful main course we suffered through...ugh, we shall not set foot in that rat hole ever again!"

>Dreadful main course?

>Her eyes are pleading with you

>You get it now, the last 20 minutes of the night never happened

>Not the first time Rarity re-written history when things don't go well

>You agree with her about the food and suggest they look for a new place

>She gives you a hug and whispers "thank you" in your ear

>You hug her back, careful not to squeeze her too tightly

>The two of you walk through the park, enjoying the night air

>Its not long before you begin to chat about other restaurants

>You can't help but notice every one of Rarity's suggestions is on the opposite side of town

>At least she's not suggesting you move to another town

>It was only a little ways into the middle of the park when you hear another low, but loud, churning groan coming from Rarity's stomach

>freezing in place, she put a hoof to her middle, biting her lower lip

>though when she caught your stare, she immediately put her hoof down and forced a smile

Anon, dear......do you think we can find another....restroom?

>you remember that the nearest one is on the other side of the park

>Rarity tries to keep her composure as another rumble ripples through her stomach, tapping a hoof on the ground

Ohnonono darling! Thats simply too fa.....I mean......too unsanitary! There must be a restroom much closer if we cut through the park and find another restaraunt!

>Without another word, Rarity walks stiffly off the main park trail, and starts walking through the grass, with you following closely behind.

>though you felt for Rarity, you were getting increasingly more annoyed with how unreasonable she was being

 

>crickets chirped in the bushes and grasses as you trudged along, making your way past some trees

>Rarity was walking increasingly slower and slower, her bottom in a constant state of clenching as multiple gurgles issued from her insides

>you make a passing remark about using a bush....

ANON! What do you t..take me for, some sort of b..barbarian? It just so happens that I only wish to fix my makeup, and I need a mirror to....

>Rarity was silenced when a gaseous explosion rippled from her bottom, amplified by the clenching of her cheeks and the quietude of the park

>it was as though someone had violently depressed a whoopie cushion that had it's edges coated with pudding

>in the split second that it happened, there wasn't a single cricket that could be heard chirping

>Rarity squealed in horror as she fwipped her tail down, holding stock still as the malodorous aroma permeated the one fresh, crisp night air, refusing to dissapate

>even in the moonight, you could catch her face glowing like hot coals

>she looks at over you, the expression on her face only comparable to someone who looked like they were sitting on a lit pile of dynamite

 

>approaching, you knelt down to her, her buttocks twitching in the moonlight, fighting a fruitless battle to contain the load behind it

>you say her name once, softly, but with a slightly stern tone, like a knowing mother trying to get her daughter to fess up to spilling juice on the carpet

>W..w..well, maybe the park b-bathroom isn't such a bad choice. I'm j..jus....just fixing my makeup after all.

>another fart slips past her clenched butt, wet and offensive, a prequel to the things to come

>you repeat her name again, a little louder, and a little more sternly

>that was all it took

 

OKAY! Anon I desperately DESPERATELY need to get to a restroom! This h-haahhhh....happens to me q-quite often andifIdontfindonerightnowitsGONNACOMEOUT!

>well, she isn't in denial anymore, that's a start

 

>however the last part came out a jumbled, frantic rush as Rarity's stomach made a massive, protesting gurgle

>her shapely, toned backside immediately projected a sound that you could only compare to a badly waterlogged tuba

>Rarity's legs came together, as if she was balancing on a pinpoint

>she redoubled her effort to clench her buttocks shut, which was accompanied with a soft squelch

>her mouth was tightly closed, as if she was holding her breath, though here eyes looked up at you pleadingly, begging you to do something before she soiled herself any further

>immediately, you grabbed her front, her whole body as stiff as a statue, and took her to a bush, thankfully only a few yards away

>dropping to your knees, and aiming her like some sort of explosive device, you gave her the nod, but Rarity could only shake her head frantically, her lady's pride simply not allowing for it

>nope, this had to happen, for her own good

>you grabbed a handful of her tail and yanked upward gently, eliciting a shriek from her that unleashed the demons within

>you closed your eyes at the last second, partially to give her a small scrap of privacy, but also not wanting to observe the horror that was about to take place

>the pure fury, the sheer awesome power of what came from Rarity's behind was an audible symphony of destruction, equaled only by the sloppiest idle of the most poorly tuned top-fuel funny car in existence

>Rarity buried her face into your stomach, her front legs wrapped around you and holding on for dear life and squeezing the breath out of you, as her body took control, shivering as waves of relief washed over her body

>the deadly aroma blanketed the surrounding area, and you tried to breathe as little as you could, Rarity's crushing grip assisting in this

>with the last few wet explosions, the worst was over, and Rarity looked up at you, humiliated, but far less tense, and with a glimmer of gratefulness in her eyes

Do....do you have any tissue, anon? I may need to....clean up....

>well shit

 

>you had nothing on you except your personal effects, and your clothes

>you looked down at your crisp, clean, white button up shirt

>you sighed, and started to unbutton it

>the things you do for love...

 

Fin