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His Title Ruins It *Denvernon*

By: unwantedmlp on Mar 20th, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 3.29 KB  |  hits: 53  |  expires: Never
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  2. http://pastebin.com/u/denvernon
  3. no obvious RIGHT HERE bin post so here it goes
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  8. >Day liars in Equestria
  9. >You are Applejack.
  10. >And you're not really made, just a little annoyed. Annoyed with Anon.
  11. >He promised to help you make some deserts for Nightmare night today. You asked him if he could bake, and he said he'd make a dutch apple cake that would melt your face off. Whatever that means.
  12. > But you haven't seen him since he told you he was having Rarity over for dinner a few days ago. As far as you know, he's probably cooped up in his house drinking wine and eating cheese.
  13. >And now that you think of it... Where the hay is everp0ny?
  14. >The streets are almost completely empty save for the occasional stranger you see stumbling around.
  15. >That's it you're going to go Anons house and drag his flank back the Sweet Apple Acres to hive you a hoof... Hand.
  16. >It doesn't take long for you to get to Anons house.
  17. >You walk up to and put your ear to the door to see if you can hear anyp0ny.
  18. >*ooooooh*
  19. >What was that? Sounded like somp0ny.... groaning?
  20. >What if it's Anon!?
  21. >In a panic you turn around and buck down Anons door before running in to save him.
  22. >"Anon!? Are ya'll right! I hear somp0ny moaning!
  23. >What you see on the inside of Anons house is something that you don't think you'll ever see again as long as you live.
  24. >Scattered across Anons floor is practically everp0ny in town.
  25. >They're all just laying on the floow and on Anons furniture with a dazed look on their faces.
  26. What the-
  27. >Then the smells hits you.
  28. >The musk of a hundred mares fills your nostrils and causes your pupils to constric.
  29. D- did Anon rut all these mares?
  30. >"UAWAAAAA~!"
  31. >Is- is that Rainbow Dash??
  32. >You make your way into the kitchen being careful not to step on anyp0ny.
  33. >What you see next is just one more thin in Anons house that you will never forget.
  34. >All of your friends except Rarity are all laying around Anon's kitchen with their eyes rolled back in their head and their tongues hanging out.
  35. >"A-non~ oh... my gosh it's... it's"
  36. >"No. You lie! YOU LIIIIIE!!"
  37. >Rainbow then collapses with the same look on her face as everp0ny else.
  38. >And... Oh Clestia, what the buck!
  39. >Between Dash's legs you can see somthing seeping down her plot and onto the floor.
  40. >On the table are over a dozen plates of food. And even more on the counter near the stove.
  41. >Right now Anon has a plate with apple crumbles on it.
  42. Anon what in Equestria is going on here?
  43. >"Aj! Here taste this!"
  44. Anon ah don-
  45. >He sticks some sort of creamed spinach into your mouth before you can finish.
  46. >The taste is indescribable. It just sweet enough and the salt from the breading in it balances it out.
  47. >Just like Rainbow your knees begin to knock and your eyes roll into the back of your head.
  48. >You feel a little sad after you swallow.
  49. An-Anon... Wh-... where did you- learn to cook like that?
  50. >"What do you think? I havn't cook Gratin in awhile."
  51. It's- it'sss tha... the best thing I've ever eaten.
  52. >"LIAR!"
  53. >He sticks another spoonful of what you think is bell peppers and zucchini.
  54. >The taste hits you again like before. Except this time you pass out.
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  57.  Anon the Insecure Gourmet Thread Bumper
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