Five Finger Special

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not sure if there is more, or if there is a bin, but here till i find out

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>Man last week was fun.

>But between lifting with Roid, Work, and dealing with the Cake's kids, your week has gotten pretty boring.

>Time to get out your old friend.

>Luck old bottle.

>This was the first beer you ever had in Equestria.

>This little thing has sent you on many adventures, even after you had finished downing it's contents.

>You had used lucky bottle to brighten up your days here in Equestria many a time.

>Simply spin bottle, see who he lands on, and give their ass a high five.

>It didn't matter who he landed on, their ass was getting smacked.

>Because it's not gay unless your junk touches.

>You were in the middle of Ponyville.

>Something involving the Princess was going on. Probably a speech or some shit.

>You and lucky bottle were going to check it out.

>Your suspicions were confirmed when you arrived upon the scene.

>The Princess was giving a speech about lower taxes.

>You decided to make an entrance, and show her your support for her decision.

>You walked straight up to her took out lucky bottle, and sat on the ground. There would be no second spins for this one.

>"What are you doing Anonymous? And why are you interrupting my speech?"

 

>This was the moment of truth.

>Time to use those hands dexterity and flexibility to their full extent.

>You wound up lucky bottle in your wrist...

>And spun.

>All of Ponyville watched as the bottle spun.

>The unknowing simply gazed at you, while those who knew of your previous adventures,(and supported you) faces were twisted into excitement.

>As lucky bottle's spin slowed, you crossed your fingers for luck.

>Cheerilee, Roseluck, a royal guard, another... YES!

>Right smack dab on Celestia!

>You looked up at Celestia with a face full of glee for what you were about to do.

Congratulations Princess Celestia, you get one FIVE FINGER SPECIAL!!

>Your supporters cat calls rang out in the crowd. "Anonymous, you dog!"

>"What's a five finger special, and how is this relevant to my speech?"

>You ignored her, for it was ass slapping time.

>You walked to her backside. Paying no attention to the royal guard who were looking out for any of your funny business.

>They were about to get a whole face full of funny business.

>You wound up your swing, savoured the moment, and swung.

>"Anonym- *YELP!*"

>You waited just long enough to hear your supporters cheers, before taking a hasty leave.

>You were already outside of her levitation spell when Celestia ordered her guard to seize you.

Run run as fast as you can, I can run as fast as a black man~!

The chase was on.