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Red Rum Cake #18

By: tyko2000 on Jun 30th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 20.12 KB  |  hits: 125  |  expires: Never
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  1. >dead silence ensues the three of you, the eye of the storm upon the arena that is your living room
  2. >your words of threat did not fall on deaf ears, but they’re nonchalantly observing what you plan to pull off in regards to your fuming caveat
  3. >your head is thrashing, your heart and hand trembling as you toss together a mental clutter that is your strategy
  4. >the first thing you is dawdle your way over to the kitchen to make sure the cake isn’t in the oven, catching aflame and torching your home down
  5. >you don’t even make three feet of ground before you’re picked up from the floor and viciously thrown into a wall, courtesy of Queen Chrysalis
  6. >Chrys: “Don’t think you can ignore me like you do Pinkie, Anon~.”
  7. Ugh… wouldn’t… dream of it.
  8. >you try to get to your knees, but you don’t even have a chance to move before you’re picked up once again and thrown into the couch, the changeling now keeping you company
  9. >Chrys: “So, a little birdy told me that someone pretended to be me, of all creatures, in an attempt to frame me for a murder of some useless pony. While I may be flattered in essence, the mockery of me stooping to kidnap a pony to tick off Princess Celestia is enough to…”
  10. >your mind is suddenly battered about, her horn glowing all the same
  11. >Chrys: “Upset me. Any idea who might have done this, hm?”
  12. >your head is screaming, as if it’s being realigned to obey her very will
  13. >false feelings of romance for this foul creature is being forcibly injected into your mind, compelling you to obey her every whim
  14. Tch… ugh…!
  15. >she steps off of your chair, coming closer as her smile expands with your internal struggle
  16. >Chrys: “Who would have thought that you could struggle with my trademark spell? It’s no matter, it just makes the results all more worth it.”
  17. >she grabs your chin as her horn ventures even closer, laughing alongside her little minion
  18. >your head is steadily erasing itself, replacing your drive with that of her own
  19. >you must obey her majesty, Queen Chrysalis
  20. >NO!
  21. >not on your fucking life will you let her get away with this
  22. >your eyes shoot out, unable to move
  23. >that’s when you see it, on the table
  24. >the savior of all magic haters, your trusted obelisk
  25. >you mount the last remnants of your strength in a final effort, struggling with your closer arm’s mobility
  26. >she’s too focused on forcing your eyes into her, the magic settling in its final stage
  27. Ugh…tch… your majesty…
  28. >Chrys: “Yes… my love…?”
  29. PRINCESS CELESTIA, PROTECT ME!
  30. >you snatch the obelisk, the contact alone enough to repel the spell immediately
  31. >you thank the goddesses that your mind has returned to its precise clarity
  32. >Chrys: “What, but how-?”
  33. Where the fuck is PINKIE!?
  34. >with a brute motion, you swing the obelisk point first right at Chrysalis
  35. >she tries to repel your attack, but the nature of the weapon negates her power
  36. >you watch with satisfaction as the blow pierces into her eye
  37. >her screams as she crashes over the table, the obelisk ripped out and back in your possession
  38. >the changeling attempted some instinctual move to protect its queen, but it’s far too late for it to escape your wrath
  39. >a second swing comes with your newly wielded knife, slashing out through its neck as it bleeds recklessly onto your couch
  40. >ignoring the flailing creature, you charge off the furniture and tackle the shrieking queen, pinning her down and mauling her with insults and the fat end of the prism
  41. WHERE’S PINKIE? WHERE THE FUCK IS PINKAMENA DIANE PIE?!
  42. >Chrys: “Ugh, AH!  GET! OFF ME!”
  43. >she tries to once again to toss you off, but your hammering weapon turns it into a tickling breeze as you resort to caving her face in
  44. >a swing shatters her horn to pieces, scattering it across the floor
  45. >Chrys: “Stop, you wretched human! My horn, my beautiful horn!”
  46. >she’s bleeding and bruised beyond reasoning, your obelisk dripping with blood as you stand up and walking over to your bookshelf, pushing novels aside and pressing a button
  47. >the walls turn into a bright and lively arrangement of colors, a forced signal jam for magic teleportation
  48. You fucking try to teleport out somewhere, you will be torn to pieces. You try to fight or run, you will be beaten until not even the love of your mother will comfort you.
  49. >you kick into her mouth, breaking teeth and twisting her jaw
  50. >you’re shouting now, your body beaten from the throws and heaving heavily
  51. You try to mock me for another second, you will die. You try to beg or taunt, you will die. I will make sure the last moments of your pathetic life will be miserable unless you tell me WHERE PINKIE IS.
  52. >she looks ready to pass into unconsciousness, her eye, face and mouth bleeding onto the carpet
  53. >she’s doing her damn best to get at you, that is for sure
  54. >she has her set of codes, you have your own code of conduct
  55. Fine, it looks like Pinkie will be helping you tell me.
  56. >she tries to lift her head, only to realize she’s too weak to do so and decides it better to sit there and recuperate her destroyed and mangled body
  57. >you enter the kitchen, trying your full-hearted best to ignore the fully prepared chocolate cake sitting on the table, and open the cabinet, which is empty
  58. >you force the false backpiece open and pull out a vial, checking its contents to confirm it
  59. >this is why you love Pinkie being an apothecary of sorts
  60. >making your way back into the living room, the door begins pounding furiously
  61. >you ignore it, ready to pour the vial’s contents down this fucker’s throat
  62. >that is, until you heard the muffled voice
  63. >Octavia: “Anon, open the door or I’m going to cut it down!”
  64. Fucking try it, the thing is able to hold out a chainsaw and any magic spell you can give it!
  65. >Octavia: “There you are! What the hell is going on?!”
  66. What is my favorite position with Pinkie Pie?
  67. >Octavia: “Ehhhhh?!”
  68. ANSWER ME!
  69. >Octavia: “Eh, the cowgirl position!”
  70. >deciding that she’s both an intense pervert and the genuine Octavia, you march over to open the door and unlock it for her to enter
  71. >Octavia: “I keep hearing shouting and- OH MY CELESTIA!”
  72. >she sees the bloody mess, alongside a dead changeling and a dying queen menace of pony society
  73. >the obelisk in your hand, the knife on the floor
  74. >Octavia: “You… you killed her, Queen Chrysalis! She attacked you! Oh my god, all the awards you’ll get-“
  75. No, not yet.
  76. >you’re crying now, your face slanted in rage and sorrow
  77. She can’t die… I won’t let her yet…
  78. >Octavia: “What’s going on, Anon?”
  79. >you ignore her as you return to the passing Chrysalis, the vial back in your hand
  80. >Octavia: “What…?”
  81. Sodium thiopental, concocted with a magical herb only found in the Everfree potion. The most powerful truth serum I can find on this planet.
  82. >you pour it down the queen’s throat forcibly as her breaths become ragged, Octavia ogling the horrifying sight
  83. >Octavia: “I… I don’t know if I can allow this, Anon.”
  84. You will, or I’ll take you down with her. I MUST know.
  85. >you wait as the breaths become slow, paced
  86. >her single eye dilates lazily looking forward
  87. >Chrys: “Nugh.. usk’nalarr..”
  88. Where is Pinkie Pie?
  89. >Chrys: “T’lingh abool…”
  90. IN GOD DAMN ENGLISH, where is Pinkie Pie?
  91. >Chrys: “… the forest. Tied her and left her to die.”
  92. >those were here final words as she passed on, her spirit traversing on to the gates of Tartarus
  93. >Octavia: “Pinkie… is gone?”
  94. Octavia, issue an order to the guards here in Ponyville.
  95. >she jumps to attention, giving a salute
  96. >Octavia: “Wait, you’re not a superior-“
  97. Octavia, please! I’m begging you, do this for me!
  98. >your words of truth strike her at home, and she gives a firm nod
  99. >Octavia: “What do you want me to tell them?”
  100. Send an escort to notify Twilight, have her use Spike to send a message to Celestia detailing the following: ‘Chrysalis attacked Anon, kidnapped Pinkie. The queen is dead, send reinforcements for search party.’
  101. >Octavia: “Got it!”
  102. >she’s ready to take off when you stop her, holding your midriff
  103. >your body isn’t going to be able to take more of this soon
  104. Urgh… then grab every guard in the area and meet me at Fluttershy’s house. Keep three guards at Twilight’s house to protect the crates. Have them ready within the hour.
  105. >you drop down a bit, sagging in pose as Octavia catches you
  106. >Octavia: “You’re still hurt from before, and you’re beaten! Let us find her, you need to rest!”
  107. Meet me there in an hour, no fucking excuses!
  108. >she looks ready to argue as you regain your position, but the look on your face is enough to show that your determination is resolute
  109. >Octavia: “Sigh. We’ll be there, fix yourself up so you’re not a complete wreck.”
  110. >you give a weary thumbs up as you close the door behind her
  111. -----
  112. >after stitching yourself up and bandaging over your rib cage, along with putting the gun away, you make your way to Fluttershy’s house, a clean pair of jeans and shirt on and your overcoat cleansed of blood drops
  113. >the house is going to need a remodeling, and you’re not going to fret with the corpses inside, and so you leave the dreadful sight be with locked doors and maximum security spells up
  114. >the rinsed knife is in your inside breast pocket as usual, and you now have a new weapon of choice hanging from your back
  115. >under normal circumstances you wouldn’t carry a greatsword, but when you venture into the Everfree forest, especially considering it’s going to be nightfall soon, you’ll take no chances
  116. >you don’t jog, not even a modest run
  117. >you SPRINT your way into the sunset, closing the distance as fast as you possibly can
  118. >you have only two contemplations in your head right now, resonating about your thoughts;
  119. >find Pinkie Pie as fast as possible,
  120. >please be alive
  121. -----
  122. >upon reaching the house you’re nearing the verge of death, forget exhaustion
  123. >there’s a very generous squadron of twenty guards, along with Twilight and Octavia
  124. >all of which are watching you limping your way into sight, the sunset beating onto your back
  125. >Twi: “Anon, you can’t do this! You’re far too injured to-“
  126. No lectures… I need… I have to… find her…
  127. >your eyes are darting everywhere, trying to keep in focus
  128. >yeah, you don’t have long if you plan to pull a sprint again
  129. >Octavia: “I’ll help him, everyp0ny split into groups of five-“
  130. Four, groups of four, I want a wider scale of search.
  131. >Octavia: “Fine, groups of four-“
  132. >Twi: “I’m joining you and Anon.”
  133. >Octavia: “Quit interrupting me! Guards, grab either a torch or a unicorn and make sure the area is well lit. Meet back here in an hour-“
  134. Two hours, no, make it three!
  135. >Octavia: “An hour, and we’ll decide where to go from there.”
  136. Damnit, Pinkie Pie is in there, and we don’t know what condition she’s in!
  137. >Octavia: “This is a dangerous forest, and we can’t afford to lose good ponies in vain, Anon!”
  138. We need to hurry!
  139. >she grabs your overcoat and wrenches you down to your knees, an easy feat considering your current condition
  140. >Twi: “Octavia, be careful with him!”
  141. >Octavia: “Look. Just look.”
  142. >she points to the nervous guards, not at all thrilled to enter the forest when it’s going to be nighttime soon
  143. >Octavia: “These ponies are scared. I’m scared. Under normal circumstances, we’d wait until morning before searching for a lost pony. However, they chose to trust you and help you out, each and every one of them. Don’t betray their trust in assisting you to find your loved one, Anon.”
  144. >you try collecting your thoughts into a more logical order, standing back up and gathering your mind
  145. Alright. Like Octavia said, make sure there is at least one unicorn per group. Send up a flare or some sort of light spell if trouble comes, or you find the pony missing. Do NOT take any unnecessary risks, and call for help if you need it. Meet back here in an hour, sharp. Any group that does not return will be considered expended, and unless we see some sign of distress, we cannot search for you. Is this understood?
  146. >guards: “Yes, sir!”
  147. Be careful, every…p0ny, and good luck.
  148. >they salute and split into groups, traveling in odd directions that all lead into the forest
  149. >it’s now you, Octavia, Twilight and an enthusiastic guard, facing the main path from Fluttershy’s home into the intimidating woods
  150. >Twi: “Will you be alright, Anon?”
  151. Yeah, as long as I don’t overexert myself. There’s nothing in here I fear as long as I have this baby.
  152. >you pat your back, the greatsword clanging against you from its sheath
  153. >Octavia: “That’s quite the sword, Anon. I don’t think I’ve seen something that hefty.”
  154. It’s custom made, and enchanted to boot. Never actually used, but I came close once or twice when I travel into here. Are you all ready?
  155. >Twi: “Yeah, let’s get Pinkie Pie!”
  156. -----
  157. >it’s been almost fifteen minutes, and no shred of light came from the dark skies, the only illumination coming from a bright spell Twilight is casting
  158. Be wary, creatures are likely hunting right now, and I don’t suspect we’re off the menu.
  159. >the guard gulps at this, keeping close by your side
  160. >Octavia is whistling, and you’re half tempted to shut her up for safety’s sake
  161. >however, it’s all that is what’s holding her from going senseless from fear
  162. Hey, it’s gonna be alright, I won’t let anything hurt us.
  163. >Octavia: “You say that so confidently. Plan to repay your debt of your life?”
  164. I have a plan, oddly enough. It might resort to it as well.
  165. >Twi: “What do you have in mind?”
  166. It’s a bit risky, but if it pulls through I can almost guarantee that we’ll find Pinkie Pie.
  167. >Guard: “Go on?”
  168. >you pull out two vials; one a very large one, and the other a slim and short glass tube
  169. >Twi: “What are those, Anon?”
  170. This one…
  171. >you pop the cap to the larger of the two containers and fling the solution into the air, slopping wildly onto the grass and dirt
  172. Is a specimen example of timberwolves’ urine that they use to mark territory, courtesy of Zecora.
  173. >Guard: “That will repel the timberwolves away, I take it?”
  174. Quite the opposite, I’m afraid; a foreign timberwolf’s scent will drive nearby ones like a bee to nectar.
  175. >they all stop and turn towards you ludicrously
  176. >Octavia: “Are you serious?!”
  177. Keep it down, I think one’s watching, and yes. Like I said, I have a plan. Three o’clock, keep tight knit while I confront it. Twilight, keep the light spell on and don’t use any magic.
  178. >it takes a few moments to confirm your suspicion, but there it is, hiding
  179. >the wooden creature trails from the shadows of the murky and pitch black woods, bobbing in and out of view as it tries to analyze the site of the intruding party
  180. Don’t move, I have this.
  181. >they watch in terror as you leave the group, sword now in your hands
  182. >Octavia: “Don’t do anything stupid, Anon!”
  183. >you give a glance back at her, a slight smirk on your face
  184. You do stupid things when you’re in love, so I’ve heard.
  185. -----
  186. >you face the partially visible timberwolf, growling from the distance
  187. >it doesn’t like you approaching it like this, and to encroach any further is a direct threat to it
  188. >swigging the lesser of the potions, you feel your mind fill with new knowledge, a temporary installment as it settles in
  189. COME ON OVER, MOTHERFUCKER!
  190. >it howls in frenzy, charging forward as it closes the distance to you
  191. >you crouch, ready to take it down in an instant
  192. >it leaps at you, fangs bared and claws outreached
  193. >you swing the flat side of the sword at its head and swing it into the dirt, pinning it to the ground
  194. >your throat gurgles into a series of growls and barks, your voice working into the language that the potion provided you
  195. Still, beast! We have not come to harm you, nor intrude any longer than we need to.
  196. >Wolf: “Wretched creature that speaks my tongue! You stand forward with weapon drawn, and you dare promise peace?”
  197. >you leap off of it and stand up, giving it space as it takes to its spiny legs
  198. I apologize, noble being. I did not know if you would be willing to reason with another creature not of your kind.
  199. >Wolf: “Withdraw your weapon, and yourself preferably, and perhaps I can see to it that my teeth don’t find its way to your neck.”
  200. >nodding feverishly and sheathing your sword, you step back a few paces
  201. >Twi: “Anon, what are you DOING!?”
  202. Relax, I don’t think he’s going to do anything. I drank a voice-of-the-woods potion, it allows me to faintly commune with nature for a short time.
  203. >you turn your focus to a growling timberwolf, clearly not impressed by your presence
  204. I apologize, but I have many of their kind in here for a desperate attempt to find a lost pony. Dark creatures entered the forest with a loved one, and they imprisoned her here to die. I need your help, honorable mortal.
  205. >it’s humbled to be addressed so highly by another species, halting its guttural noises in order to respond
  206. >Wolf: “Yess… I remember them. A most powerful sorcerer of sorts, with a small creature pulling a pink one… is this the one you seek?”
  207. Yes! Can you take me to her?!
  208. >Wolf: “I cannot.”
  209. But… but…!
  210. >Wolf: “Promise me that you’ll extract these ponies intruding into our territories, and I can tell you where she resides, but you must be swift, as time may be running short for her.”
  211. Ugh, fine! Twilight!
  212. >you make your way back to her and the gang, silently watching you make interesting talk with the dangerous monster
  213. >Twi: “What is it, Anon?”
  214. Fire as many flares out of here, and get the guards out. Timberwolves appear to be hunting tonight, and we’re embarking across their killing grounds. That one is offering to tell us where Pinkie is if we can get everyone out.
  215. >she nods and starts to fire fireworks of sorts into the air for the next few minutes, the noise and sight a vivid display of lights and sound
  216. -----
  217. >it takes approximately another twenty minutes for most of the group to centralize around you
  218. >alongside a huge herd of timberwolves, watching from the distance, and debating if it’s worth attacking you
  219. >the solo one you spoke to runs over and tries to appease them, who aren’t as willing to turn a blind eye to all of you
  220. Alright, change of plans; every guard returns to Fluttershy’s house and wait for the rest of the hour to tick up, and explain to the returning guards the situation.
  221. >Guard: “Which is?”
  222. Twilight, Octavia, and I will be following our ‘nature guide’ here’s directions to find Pinkie, which we offered to pull out for.
  223. >Twi: “Can we really trust them, Anon? Timberwolves can be wily, sneaky creatures…”
  224. >Octavia: “I want to go hooome!”
  225. Then go back with them. I have to find someone very important to me.
  226. >the crunching of twigs and leaves sends everyone to a jump as the ambassador wolf approaches from some distance
  227. >Octavia: “I… I can’t do that, I am ordered to protect you two with my life.”
  228. Then protect me, and I will protect you and Twilight. Guards, dismissed!
  229. >they salute you for being both extremely brave and notably crazy for signing your own death wish
  230. >soon it’s just the three of you, and the wolf comes a bit closer
  231. >Wolf: “There are still others in the woods, creature.”
  232. They’ll be leaving in about ten minutes, worry not. Soon it will be just the three of us.
  233. >the wooden canine gives a discerning nod, looking down the path
  234. >Wolf: “One of us followed the odd sight, and saw three go in somewhere, and only two out. The pink one was gone.”
  235. Gone, gone where?
  236. >Wolf: “It is an old place, with only ruins left, one made by ponies’ doing. I believe it used to house something very important to their kind. That is all I know.”
  237. Twilight… ruins, pony ruins, important items once there.
  238. >Twi: “I think that sounds like the temple of Harmony, where the elements were being kept!”
  239. Pinkie is there, where is it?
  240. >Twi: “That’s easy, it’s down this path a far ways.”
  241. Finally, some fucking good news. Thank you, brave warrior.
  242. >Wolf: “And I wish thee good luck; there are creatures far worse than I that stalk the night. May your weapon treat you well.”
  243. >he gives a bone chilling howl and takes off, the pack following suit
  244. >you look on, the darkness beckoning you into an entreaty riddled with peril
  245. >far worse the consequences will be if you don’t find her soon
  246. Come on, let’s go.
  247. >the end