Red Rum Cake #17

>???(1): “You know why I’m here, don’t you?”

>???(2): “Perhaps, but it doesn’t mean I like it a bit.”

>???(1): “Come now, that’s not how you treat an invited guess, your ‘majesty’~…”

>???(2): “We simply have an enemy in common, don’t think for a moment that I wouldn’t have my sister banish you.”

>???(1): “Please, you think I would come here if I was afraid of you or your horrible sister, Luna?”

>a pause of hesitation

>Luna: “Just tell me what you need me to do, and  make sure that insufferable human pays for what he did to Fluttershy, Blueblood… he’s killed people I’ve cared for, and he needs to be punished, by any means.”

>???(1): “Just sit back and await my commands, and you’ll get what you want without much repercussions.”

>Luna: “You dare bark orders to me, the Princess of the Night?!”

>???(1): “…”

>Luna: “… Fine, whatever.”

>???(1): “Good girl, now if you’ll excuse m-“

>???(3): “Please, this sounds like a meek game; it’s rather boring, don’t you think? Why not make it more FUN!”

>Luna: “!!! But, you’re-!”

>???(1): “!!!”

-----

>you’re making your way over to Twilight’s house, along with her and the floating crates of dubious intentions

>you cannot put hold how much emphasis that these need to be immediately destroyed, lest they attempt to mimic its technology, and follow the footsteps your previous world has

>however, you feel a tad hypocritical thinking this, considering that you snuck a SIG Sauer P250 from the crime scene, along with a few clips of .45 ACP

>you’ll be making sure that it goes immediately into that iron chest in the basement, considering that it’s almost as dangerous as ’it’

>upon second thought, nothing is nearly is as dangerous as that foul object you have in cold storage already

>the way it works… it gives shivers just to think about it

>Twi: “Is something wrong, Anon?”

Of course something is wrong. We have… these things.

>you motion to the crates as you make your way into the town limits of Ponyville

>ponies are looking in your direction in curiosity, but your glares is enough to force them to divert their attention elsewhere

>Twi: “There’s no need to fret about it, Anon. We have them all here, and as long as they’re properly analyzed and destroyed, there won’t be any worries about it, right?”

No, there are too many possibilities to consider; what if someone else has these, or the person who brought them here bring more? What happens if this person gives another pony one of them, and teaches them how to use it? No, I won’t be so easy to sigh a relief until I find who did this and stop them.

>she gives a tuckered lament, the crates bumping into you

>Twi: “Geez, and here I thought I was the worried one here.”

I don’t know how to better show you that these need to be expunged pronto; I would have demanded you do it on the spot if it weren’t for the fact that we need to trace the source, somehow. You can do that, right?

>Twi: “I can do fingerprints and magical detections of all sorts and sizes; I’m sure even Princess Celestia would even be able to help, if we asked her politely, but I can’t guarantee anything.”

In the meantime, make sure they’re both sufficiently guarded and well hidden. If I hear that these weapons were stolen or forcibly taken by anyone other than Celestia, don’t you dare show your face to me, because at that point you’ll be dead to me and I’ll make sure it happens.

>you kneel down and grab Twilight

Do you understand me?

>the look you give was one of intense worry and anger at her laid back attitude, and she stiffens up a bit in response

>Twi: “Anon, let go of me.”

>you loosen your grip swiftly before releasing her

Tch… sorry, it’s just millions upon millions of my kind have fallen prey to those things. I don’t want to see this beautiful world get torn like mine did.

>you look away, feigning bashfulness for your intentions

>you have all you need, but you damn well don’t need others touching these tools of destruction

>Twi: “Anon… you really do care about us, don’t you?”

Don’t think too much into it. I’ve lived a life where guns were the norm, with war and terror. I just don’t want to see the day where it happens again.

>she gives a caring smile for trying a soft spot in you

>Twi: “Say what you want, but I know you just don’t want others to be hurt.”

What the fuck ever.

>she giggles, ignorant to how ironic her words were

>guns may kill, but they’re cheap, too easy to use

>to get the rush of a sprint, the slice of a knife

>that is the thrill you seek when you end the corrupted noble system here

>there can be no other way

-----

>Octavia: “So, where are we heading?”

HOLY SHIT!”

>Twi: “HOLY FUCK!”

>both Twilight and you jump, the boxes dropping to the pavement

>you entirely forgot about Octavia’s presence, and it appears you’re not alone

>ponies are watching the two of you heaving, trying to grasp a decent amount of oxygen

>Octavia eyes you in annoyance

>Octavia: “I understand that I walk silently, but is there a real need for such theatrics?”

I, I totally forgot you were there, freaked me out…

>she gives an arrogant grin

>Octavia: “That’s why I’m one of the best! I’m trained to fool the senses, make my presence only known when it’s too late!”

>she makes a pouncing motion, as if she’s getting the jump on an invisible victim

>Octavia: “Aaand pow! I grab my magical violin and take em out!”

>sweet Nayru, how horrifying

>Twilight manages to avoid a heart attack, opting to remain quiet in response, and the three of you continue the trek with the boxes

 How does that bow slice work, anyways? I presume magic, of course, but considering you’re not a unicorn…

>Octavia: “My violin is enchanted by the Princess; the strings gather energy from when I’m playing particular songs, and when I slide the bow across it, it does what you saw before.”

Turns it into one heck of a sword, that thing could cut someone in half.

>Octavia: “It’s a dangerous tool, and I’ve only used it in a real situation twice. There’s a reason why only an agent of Royalty is permitted such a thing, y’know.”

>you eyeball the violin case

>it’s proportionately sized to a pony versus a human, but the bow was fairly long

>interesting use of a music skill, to say the least

>Twi: “Octavia, didn’t you used to play something else? The cello, right?”

>Octavia: “I learned to play most of the strings since I was a foal, but the cello is my favorite, yes. However…”

>she grumbles something in a low voice

>Twi: “What was that?”

>Octavia: “I said, … … …”

Quit grumbling, and speak up, damnit.

>Octavia: “Ugh! I can’t carry the cello like the violin, it’s too heavy!”

See? That wasn’t so hard.

>Octavia: “But it’s so ANNOYING! Just imagine how awesome it’d be to have a giant, humongous power thingie and you just swing it, and it would just go-“

>she makes all sorts of interesting sound effects to aid her explanation of an oversized sword swing

>Twi: “We’re here.”

Alright, do you need any help with these things?

>Twi: “Nah, I should be fine, although I might get some guards. I’m probably going to be putting a half dozen of security spells on it just to be safe.”

-----

>you ogle at that robot statue thing

>it sticks out like a sore thumb

>thankfully you’re not the one to bring it up this time as Twilight unlocks her door

>Octavia: “What’s up with the statue?”

>Twilight places the crates just inside the house before she tries to address the inquiry once more

>she drones on about ‘personal business’ and whatnot as you approach the figurine

>you glare at it, considering details and finer points

>it’s after a few moments that you notice it

>the glint of the robot’s eyes gives you suspicions

Twilight, do you trust me?

>Twi: “What’s up?”

Bring me a hammer.

>Twi: “You’re not going to break my new present.”

Then where did you get it from?

>Twi: “I don’t know, it was here with a letter say ‘happy birthday’! My birthday’s not for another month, but it’s the thought that counts!”

>you sigh at her gullibility, but you don’t know whether or not you trust your hunch

>you decide an angry Twilight is worth more than a dead one, and you pick up a fairly hefty rock nearby, approaching it warily

>is it… sweating?

>Twi: “Anon, stop.”

This is for your own good.

>you lift the rock, only to be lifted with it

>fucking unicorns

>Twi: “Can’t you just leave it alone! It’s an awesome statue, and someone cared about me enough to give it for my-“

Ugh, let me go, damnit! Octavia, cut that thing in half!

>Octavia, for whatever reason, is excited to pull out her violin and rev up a song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pj4Pr3mk5As

>Twi: “Damn it, Octavia, stop it! Both of you, cut this out!”

Release your hold on me, you fucking unicorn! I will not be handled this way!

>you’re letting loose all sorts of horrible language now

>you hate being touched by magic in a way that makes you powerless

>you’ll need to keep that obelisk on you more often

>thankfully it appears she can only focus on you with her magic, leaving Octavia open to do the deed

>Octavia: “Alright, it’s time!”

>the strings on her violin start to glow with a bright aura

>ponies are watching the scene now, which is sensible considering Twilight is losing her shit just as much as you are, with Octavia letting music flow into the air

>she slides her bow across the strings, gathering the energy and turning it into a very intimidating sword of sorts

>the sound of an A natural challenges the realm as she swings the blade, energy crackling around it

>Twi: “Octavia, please!”

Do it!

>Octavia: “Your butt is smut, statue, and I’m the chimney sweeper- I’m gonna clean you out!”

>Twi: “NO!”

>???: “Hory pooh, she’s gunna cut meh!”

-----

>it fucking talked

>the weirdass Japanese oriented statue actually talked

>even Octavia froze midswing, ready to slice it into half

>smoke explodes from the effigy, revealing…

I knew it, a changeling spy.

>Changeling: “Yoo stupahd coot, yoo courd’ve kirred meh!”

>you drop to the ground, the rock barely missing you by inches

>Twi: “No.. no! Celestia damn it, get it!”

>Octavia nods and gives a ludicrous swing, the violin swinging around her back as she shreds into the tree but entirely missing the changeling

>Changeling: “Ahh my Chrysalis, dey gunna do me in, ish’krah! Screw this crahp!”

>it starts to book it, trying to make its devilish escape into the sky

>you’re half considering throwing a knife at it, or even using the gun

>you resist the urge at all costs, but it appears you won’t have to

>Octavia’s smiling a well placed shit eating grin

>Octavia: “Even the gentlest song…”

>the changeling explodes in a mass of guts and blood, shrieking as it severes into two

>Octavia: “Has a dramatic finale.”

-----

>the changeling’s remains splatters onto the road and Twilight’s home

>it’s not the prettiest sight to be sure, but the maneuver she pulled was both shocking and excellent

>she didn’t miss; she hit it with the power of her song

>the melody torn into the wood, but the harmony pierced into the creature, sealing its demise

That was… wonderful, Octavia.

>Octavia: “Hmph, thanks. My orders are to follow you and make sure the two of you are safe. I just trusted your judgment is all.”

>Twilight’s ears droop down at this, too shocked to have done anything

>Twi: “I… I didn’t trust you, Anon, it’s just… ugh…”

>she walks into her house and shuts the door, locking it

God damn it, it’s like you’re all angsty teenager girls.

>you get up to your feet and advance the door

Twilight, let us in.

>you can hear light sobs coming from the other end

>if she’s going to take forever, Pinkie is going to kill you for making her wait so long

>Twi: “No, just go away! I need to study this stuff, like you told me to!”

I’m telling you to open this door, or I will either kick it down or have Octavia play horrible violin music.

>Octavia: “Alas, my good sir, but when it comes to my music, none is horrible.”

>Twi: “Just try it, you asswipe!”

>she’s gonna swear at you now

>fine, let’s test the durability of your kick

-----

>twenty seconds later, you finally accept that you lack the muscular strength to kick down this door

>that doesn’t stop you from shouting at Twilight

Damnit, Twilight, you know I hate it when unicorns use their magic on me, and you know I hate it when you don’t trust me! But it should matter to you that it bothers me when you continue to not trust me, and let me in to correct these wrongs!

>silence, as you lean on the door

>why can’t you

>hold all of this silence?

If you do believe in me, then you should at least these words true: I’m not mad that you didn’t believe or used magic on me then, so long as you realize that it was wrong and you’ll do your best to reconsider doing such things. However, I’m pissed that you ran away like a little foal and being immature enough to not answ-

>the door swings open by magic, and you land on your face

>she was still a swell four feet away, now approximately a foot from your head

>Twi: “Ah, shit! I didn’t mean for that, Anon, let me just pick you-“

No… no, it’s fine, Twilight.

>you manage to get to your feet, although you’re quite winded from the sudden free-fall

You don’t need to swear so much, as well. It’s rude.

>Twi: “Tch, I’m… I’m sorry.”

>you try grinning, wincing a bit at the pain

>you’re bleeding from a slight prod of a knife into the gut, although it doesn’t show under the overcoat

Don’t worry about it, boss. Just try to tone it down, otherwise I’d start to think that you’re me.

>you try laughing, although it’s obvious that it’s a bit fake

>you’re trying to make her feel better, and she notices your “good hearted nature” trying to sooth her guilt

>Twi: “Hehe, thanks, Anon. Did you want to come in?”

I think I already have! However, Pinkie has a cake waiting for me, and you know what will happen if I make that crazy pink mare wait…

>Twi: “Fine~! But come on over sometime when you can, alright?”

>she gives you a sly wink in our direction

>Octavia: “You shouldn’t be winking at Anon, Twilight; he’s happily taken, it seems.”

>observant little motherfucker, although considering she’s behind you, it’s a tad obvious what Twilight was doing

>her violet eyes focus away, fault forcing her stray thoughts to remain inside her head

>perhaps Pinkie was right, in regards to your and Twilight’s relationship had she not intervened

>you’ll play this to the best of your ability, should the right moment present itself

Alright, I’m heading off, take care Twi!

>that’s probably the first time you called her by a nickname, and she warms up to it just dandy

>Twi: “See ya~!”

-----

>it’s about fifteen steps away that you notice that you’re being followed

>this is an incredible feat, considering who it was

Octavia, aren’t you going to go home or do whatever you do when you’re waiting for Celestia or Twilight to give us orders?

>Octavia: “No.”

>that stops you in your tracks for a moment, before continuing in your trek

>you stole a glance when you stopped, and her violin is packed away

>whatever she had planned, you have the element of speed and preparation

>you make sure you venture to a less populated part of Ponyville before you confront her

Hey, uh, Octavia.

>Octavia: “What is it?”

>she’s within a few feet now, so she isn’t likely planning to attack you considering the need to charge up her bow

>this means something… a tad more inconvenient

Do you have a place to go? I don’t really have a place for you to stay here at my home.

>Octavia: “I live under the beautiful blanket of the night and stars, with my home being the wind that caresses me to sleep.”

And yet you manage a very clean bowtie, very nice.

>Octavia: “If I cannot watch you from inside, know that I will be keeping an eye on you somewhere outside- for security purposes, I promise!”

>bullshit

Very well, I’m sure we’ll see each other soon. Fare well.

>Octavia giggles, like she knows something is gonna happen soon

>you grimace, a few hundred yards from you home

>you can barely sense a waiting Pinkie… and someone else?

Don’t you dare try to peek inside.

>Octavia: “No promises, but you should promise me one thing, if that’s alright.”

And what’s that?

>Octavia: “Understand that I didn’t say anything because I understand the nostalgia of having such a thing, but you will be not using that… you called it a gun, correct?”

You… you saw that, eh?

>it appears nothing escapes her, after all

>Octavia: “Somewhat, but the noises of you falling earlier confirmed it. You’re also bleeding a bit, please tend to that. Anyways, I have no problems with you stealing a gun, so long as you promise to me that it’s going to be locked away, and never used. Otherwise, I’ll be taking it from you now.”

>that was a threat, wasn’t it?

>it wasn’t a question, that’s for sure

>however, she’s offering you slack; she could have easily busted you, and it would have caused problems

>perhaps it would be better that you worked with her… for now

>Octavia: “What is your answer, Anon?”

Of course I promise; things like these should never be used, but with… recent events, it would only be the ultimate last resort. Until then, I’ll make sure it never returns into my hands.

>Octavia: “That’s good enough for me, I suppose. You have questionably shady side motives, Anon. However… it appears your loyalty is resolute, so I trust you along with her highness. Take care.”

>with that, she takes up a wall, and hops away a roof or two before leaving your sight

Well, she’s a musician, a hawkeye, and now a parkour. Huh.

-----

>click, click, click

>locks unlock, bolts slide

>you open the door nonchalantly to find your lover sitting on the couch, talking away-

>to… Twilight?

>she’s sitting in your chair smugly, using some magic to sip some tea quietly

>Pinkie: “Hey, Anon! How’s it going? Twilight came over when I was making a cake, and we’ve been talking a lot~! She wants to join us to kill ponies together, I like her so much now!”

>your eyes shoot forward in panic, staring at the door that you just closed

>your mind is swearing in so many different ways that you can’t make sense of it

>there are thousands of explanations running through your head

>Twi: “Anon, is there something wrong?”

Pinkie, name the Elements of Harmony.

>you’re still looking away, you don’t want to hear the truth

>there’s silence for a moment, and you bite into your lip

>Pinkie: “But why would you want me to answer something so silly, silly?”

>you turn around to face the two, and you find them grinning widely

>both of them

>the eyes

No… where…?

>Twi: “Where’s what, Anon?”

Where is PINKIE?!

>Pinkie looks between you and Twilight, apparently confused

>Pinkie: “Yur majesty, uh… what…?”

>Twi: “It appears we did something wrong to give ourselves away, my child.”

>green flames erupt from the two of them, revealing a haughty changeling and-

Queen Chrysalis, you will tell me what you did with Pinkamena Diane Pie, or I will kill the both of you in ways you can’t even comprehend.

>Chrysalis: “Now, I don’t think you’re in the position to make such idle threats, are you, love? Pinkie was sooo much more inviting when we came in as Twilight and yourself.”

>she’s not going to give her up, your teeth gritting at this fact

>you’re going to have to fight, but your tools here are sitting about the house

>you have nothing but a knife

>and the gun you promised never to use

>Chrysalis: “Oh, you poor thing, you. You look so lost without her~ what ever shall you do?”

You’re about to fucking find out what happens when you corner a human.