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LinkAnon Shorts

By: tyko2000 on Jul 1st, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 3.82 KB  |  hits: 173  |  expires: Never
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  1. LinkAnon shorts
  2. #1
  3. >be LinkAnon, use Ocarina of Time to teleport to the Lost Woods
  4. >you played a note too sharp, get teleported to Equestria via Everfree Forest
  5. >the adventure begins
  6. -----
  7. >you begin killing creatures, cutting trees and slashing at grass
  8. >must be a strict monetary system here, no rupees are coming out
  9. >you stumble upon the forest temple of this world, has a boss lock on the door
  10. >you search around and solve easy puzzles in the nearby shed, find spare key
  11. >unlock door and enter the hut
  12. >must be an easy temple, you’re already at the boss
  13. >it’s an angry zebra looking demon, who throws potions at you
  14. >you dodge and weave through the small arena, you send out your trusty fairy Navi to discover its weakspot
  15. >“HEY HEY HEY LOOK LISTEN WATCH OUT”
  16. >put Navi away, try to use your sword
  17. >it works, boss is slashed in half, huh
  18. >you rip out its heart container from the corpse’s ribcage, steal a mask hanging from above that looked fancy
  19. >medallion of forest
  20. -----
  21.  
  22. #2
  23.  
  24. >you exit the forest and try playing Epona’s song
  25. >nothing works, you start shouting her name
  26. ”YAHHHHH! HYAHHHHHHH~!”
  27. >she’s not here, must be stolen again
  28. >you traverse Ponyville Field, which is stated bluntly on the screens
  29. >you follow a pathway, leading you to the local ranch
  30. >”Sweet Apple Acres”
  31. >maybe you can get a bottle from here
  32. >you approach a local denization, an orange and blonde colored pony
  33. >interesting race, but you’ve dealth with sexually and racially offensive Gorons
  34. >this is a walk in the park
  35. >“What in tarnations are ya, and what do you want here, Sugarcube?”
  36. “HAHHH YAHHH HOOOAHHH! … … HOAH.”
  37. >“Link, and you’re from this Hyrule place, eh? Pleasure to meetcha, name’s Applejack, and you’re sure a cute thing!”
  38. >she looks like a cartoonish version of Epona, somewhat
  39. >there was no Epona in Windwaker, what is this bullshit
  40. “Hyuh, aaagh… yaaagh?”
  41. >“Have I seen a horse named Epona? I reckon I haven’t, she your special somep0ny?”
  42. “YEEEAAAGH?!”
  43. >”I’m just messin’ with ya, Sugarcube!”
  44. >you try to explain the situation when Navi pops out
  45. >”HEY HEY HEY HEY”
  46. >you cork her in your only bottle
  47. >you need more bottles, but explanation comes first
  48. “HAHH, YAUGH HO-HA! YUURUGH, GYYAHHH…”
  49. >”Oh wow, you need a good trusty steed that you can ride, eh? I got just the pony for ya!”
  50. >sweet, this is the easiest sidequest yet
  51. -----
  52. >you spend two hours as Applejack fucks the hearts out of ya
  53. >you’re gonna need a red potion or two after this
  54. >”Easy there, fella, try to enjoy this with meh!”
  55. >you’re shouting as you come five times in a row
  56. “YAHHH! TCH! YAAAAUUGH, GUH! ARRRRRRUGHUH!”
  57. >”Ah know dat feeling!”
  58. >she finally plops over in exhaustion, loyally devoted to you
  59. >Epona’s song is now Applejack’s song
  60. >you go into her kitchen, and rummage her dishware
  61. >you now have 12 bottles packed down
  62. >time to find a fairy fountain soon
  63. -----
  64. #3
  65. >back onto Ponyville Field, you run around, Applejack too tired for you to ride her
  66. >you drop bombs by large looking rocks, exploding debris
  67. >you’re suddenly stopped by a pegasus
  68. >”Whoa whoa whoa! What are you doing, you can’t just blow up stuff around here!”
  69. “HOOYA YAUUGH HAAA!”
  70. >”Think you’re funny, eh? Try to take on my awesome speed then!”
  71. >you recognize her, she’s a fucking takkuri
  72. >bitch gonna try stealing your sword
  73. >she swoops down on you, and you bash her in the face with your shield
  74. >steal this motherfucker, she crashes into the dirt as you pull out ice arrows
  75. >you fire two, freezing her into giant icecube
  76. >you wait for the effect to thaw off so you can finish her off and grab the giant orange rupee
  77. “…. HYUH?!”
  78. >she’s not thawing at all, this might take a while
  79. >you lose interest and continue towards what appears to be a town of some sort
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