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Roos invade skype

By: Tvox on Apr 12th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 3.47 KB  |  hits: 84  |  expires: Never
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  1. [9:27:09 AM] Anon Alighieri: suddenly 50 kangaroos bust in
  2.         >THIS IS THE KANGAROO MILITARY!
  3.         >WE CLAIM THIS CHAT IN THE NAME OF ROOMANIA!
  4. [9:27:23 AM] Anon Alighieri: >There were no survivors
  5.  
  6. [9:27:39 AM] Tvox: >a lone survivor rises from the rubble
  7.  
  8. [9:28:07 AM] Tvox: >mechanical parts whirr and blink though charred flesh
  9. [9:28:36 AM] Tvox: >"Unit reset, Designation TVOX 5000
  10. [9:33:17 AM] Tvox: >"running diagnostics
  11.                         >frame integrity 97%
  12.                         >exterior sheilding integrity 36%
  13.                         >battery level 79%
  14.                         >ammo reserves 9mm- 0   .308 - 80"
  15.  
  16.                         >"start targeting systems diagnostics
  17.                         >Targeting system at 100%"
  18.  
  19.                         >"Run velocity check on jimmies"
  20.                         >"Speed Incalculable"
  21.                         >Play catchphraise.wav
  22.                         THIS MACHINE KILLS ROOS
  23. [9:34:41 AM] Anon Alighieri: >Kangaroo's unleash their ultimate weapon
  24.                         >The Kangaroo army's combatans suddenly seperate into 7 microos each
  25.                         >SWARM AND CONVERGE
  26.                         >SWARM AND CONVERGE!!!
  27. [9:36:23 AM] Tvox: >Tvox loads his rifle with its signature extended glock clipz
  28.                 >loaded with babby killin' heat seeking cop killa boolits
  29.  
  30.                 IM HERE TO KILL ROOS AND GET SWAG, AND I DONT SEE ANY SWAG
  31. [9:37:01 AM] Anon Alighieri: >Microos continue to swarm, getting into every nook and crany      of Tvox's killingroo-armor thingy
  32. [9:39:59 AM] Tvox: >"Internal integrity compromised
  33.         >Discharge Jimmy coolant"
  34.         >Jimmy coolant is released, vaporizing everything within 20 meters
  35.         >"primary battery discharged
  36.         >backup activated, power at 60%"
  37. [9:40:37 AM] Anon Alighieri: >Intial barrage of Microo's killed
  38. [9:40:44 AM] Anon Alighieri: >Send in moar microos
  39. [9:43:29 AM] Tvox: >"release bio foam sealant"
  40.         >"Warning, jimmy velocity increasing"
  41.  
  42.         >A pale orange foam seeps out of the inner workings of Tvox, filling the majority of    ruptures on the exterior sheilding
  43. [9:44:08 AM] Tvox: >Tvox cycles the chamber of his rifle and begins taking shots at the larger                  roos
  44. [9:44:35 AM] Anon Alighieri: >MORE ROOS
  45. [9:44:39 AM] Anon Alighieri: >THROW MORE ROOS AT HIM
  46. [9:46:14 AM] Tvox: >Scanning.....
  47.         >Scanning.....
  48.         >"Roo battleship detected"
  49.         >"Loading surface coordinates"
  50.         >Tvox extends his right arm, pointing at the roo flagship, a small purple lazer pointer         tagging the bridge of the ship
  51.  
  52. [9:47:06 AM] Anon Alighieri: >Roos know they have been targetd
  53.         >ABANDON ROOSHIP
  54.         >Pilot sets collision coruse of the ship straight to Tvox      
  55. [9:50:52 AM] Tvox: >from behind the rooship another ship rips through slipspace, It's the       USNC Gettysburg!
  56.         "We have your target unit 5k"
  57.         >the UNSC ship levels its Magnetic Accelerator Cannon at the roo flagship
  58.         "Firing!"
  59.         >plasma trails at the end of the 800 Ton depleted uranium shell as it travels towards   the rooship at nearly one fifth the speed of light
  60. [9:55:49 AM] Tvox: >the rooship is tearing through Skype's atmosphere, coming apart as it       rushes towards Tvox
  61.         >"Jimmie levels critical"
  62.         >"OVERLOAD OVERLOAD"
  63.         >in a wicked twist of fate the rooship, uranium shell, and tvox's jimmies collide all at        once
  64.         >warpspace is twisted, and Tvox pulled through the rift
  65. [9:58:49 AM] Tvox: >you wake up in a grassy field
  66.         >the sun shines brightly into your eyes
  67.         Fuck! my eyes!
  68.         >wait, shit! your eyes?!?
  69.         >you spin in shock as the last of your MJOLNIR Mk. 7 armor crumbles away
  70.         >blinking away the pain you search the landscape
  71.         the fuck is that?
  72.         >a cottage sits at the very edge of the field
  73.         Might as well see where I ended up....
  74.  
  75.         FIN
  76. [9:59:22 AM] Tvox: thus begins the story of Anon the spartan in equestria
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