I'm afraid of a season

>You feel sick, and weary, and unhappy.

>It's almost the end of Summer.

>Instead of happiness and brilliance filling each day one and all are panicky, nervous and scared.

>But none will speak of this disturbing shift in emotion, but they all know about it.

>Soon fall will be around, the days will become short and it'll be back to the dreadful grind.

 

>You sit on the fence on the farthest side of Sweet Apple Acres, the setting sun mocking you as it sinks into the horizon.

>Not wanting to look at it you turn your gaze to the grass, a soft wind blows it to the left.

>Something catches your ear, the near silent sound of someone trotting closer.

>A smile curls across your face, you look up to see Big Mac moseying forward, sprig of wheat in his mouth.

>Oh, he makes it all better.

>You try to dispel your grin, but it just won't work.

>He says nothing, taking a position beside you on the fence, leaning up against it.

"Hey," you say, a little of your giddiness showing in your voice.

>"I thought I'd find you here."

>There is some silence, you can't think of anything to say, and you know Big Mac won't say anything.

"You like sunsets?"

>"On occasion."

"Depends on the company you're with?"

>He nods, looking at the orange globe in the distance.

>You begin to feel nervous, afraid of how to precede.

"Are you liking this sunset?" you say, hoping your little hint makes sense to this hard to crack stallion.

>He looks up at you, with a calm expressionless face, "It's one of the better ones."

>You pray that means what you want it to mean.

>You clear your throat awkwardly.

>It's getting dark, darker even with the clouds gathering above.

"How's the whole mare situation."

>He shrugs, "No changes. You know I'm particular."

>Oh he always says that.

>What does that mean?

>Maybe it's a hint!

"I am too. Have I ever told you? It's so hard to find the perfect one," you apply some emotion to those last few words.

>He looks at you with curious, and confused eyes.

>"I think I understand..."

>Your eyes go wide, did that just work?

>Did it happen?

"Looks like it's going to rain," you comment, looking up at the dark clouds that have blocked out the moon.

>"We should head inside before it comes down," he replies softly, heading off.

>You hurry to catch up, somewhat excited.

>But also very aware that you could be getting your hopes up for nothing.

 

>The rain comes pouring down before you and Big Mac are even half way to the farmhouse.

>By some chance while you and he are stumbling around the fields a small shack comes into view.

>You're already soaked, and so is he.

>You give him a smile and nod toward the little rickety thing.

>His pace quickens, and you step it up to keep up with him.

>By the time you and him get inside there is no longer any point.

>You brush your wet hair out of your eyes, suddenly realizing how small this place is.

>There is next to no room to move, you and Big Mac are forced close together, hot breath washing over each other.

>The patter of rain and the huffing of you and him are the only sounds.

>You can't recall anytime you've been close with him like this.

>It's...nice.

"Well, we might be here awhile."

>He looks around, "Eeyup."

>You inch closer to him, just trying to some of his warmth.

>He doesn't seem to notice, and doesn't move.

"I'm cold, you?"

>He looks up at you with slightly wide eyes, head nodding slowly.

>Your really close now.

>Maybe now is the time to make a move.

>In a swift movement you lean down and kiss him.

>The night goes silent, the rain seems to stop, all you can sense is his lips pressed against yours.

>But he retracts quickly, stumbling back and hitting the wall, a bucket gets knocked over, creating move clatter.

>"The hay is wrong with you?"

 

"I-I'm sorry, it was an accident," you claim, flinching.

>You fucked up.

>You fucked up, badly.

>"That wasn't no accident. Y-you just uh..." his voice trails off.

>He shakes his head.

>He recollects himself, and steps forward, not looking upset or disgusted, just tired tired.

>And maybe a little unsure.

>He takes a few unsteady steps forward, his eyes looking everywhere but at you.

>Assuming he is trying to get close you shorten the trip, inching forward, face hot and hands trembling.

>Why does this have to be so hard?

>You and him are within touching distance, He hops up, putting his hooves on your chest.

>He looks at you sternly, his face a mix of uncertainty and disturbance.

>You dip your head toward him-

>Success!

>Oh this is amazing, you shut your eyes tight.

>It's just like you've imagined.

>He pulls back again, brow furrowed, searching around the room with his eyes.

"What's the matter?"

>"This is a little, uh, strange for me."

>You close the gap.

"Relax, don't worry. We can go as slow or as quick as you want."

>He glances over at a bale of hay.

>"Might as well go quick. An' I got an idea."

 

"Are you sure about this?"

>He nods, laying some more hay on the floor.

>You take off your wet shirt, but hold off undressing further.

>He gets on his back, cracking a nervous, shaky smile.

>You return, your own uncertainty bleeding through.

>This could very well be the best thing that's happened in a very long time.

>You descend upon him, running your hand up his soft stomach.

>A kiss gives you another taste of this fine stallion.

>Once more you notice the patter of the rain as your senses heighten.

>One of his hooves runs down your chest, down to your leg.

>It meets up with his other hoof, undoing the button on your pants.

>With a sharp intake of breath you slid off your jeans, your hand running over his shaft.

>He lets out a long breath, shivering at your touch.

>You smile warmly, kissing his chest, the his mouth another time.

>It only gets better.

>He nuzzles your chest, soft mane tickling you.

 

>You button up your shirt, just now noticing the rain has ended.

>Big Mac gives you a half grin, you spot some regret in his features.

>But your brain won't accept it, you're too focused on what could be the start of something great.

"Wow. I don't even know what to say after that."

>He leans up against the wall, catching his breath, "Eeyup."

"Yeah, that works."

>A knocking comes at the shack's door.

>"Big Mac?" Applejack calls.

>Fuck.

>His eyes go wide and shoot to the door.

 

>He shakes his hoof at you, singling for you to hide behind something.

>You duck behind the door as it's the only option.

>Applejack lets herself in, a few drops of rain water flying by.

>"Hey, whaddya doing in here?" she asks.

>"Er," his eyes flick to you in the corner, "Just keepin' out of the rain."

>"Well c'mon Applebloom was worryin' about you. Ya know how late it is?"

>"Nope," he replies, following her out.

>The doors shuts after a few seconds.

>You wait with your ear pressed up against the door, listening for their fading voices as they walk back home.

>After about ten minutes of shakiness you let out a sigh of relief, sliding down the door.

>Except for the little interruption at the end this has been the best night of your life.

>You slip out quietly, running back into town and sneaking into your house.

>You lay your head down, dreaming of what could be and trying to forget what stood in your way.

 

>When morning came and it was time for work you rushed back to the farm, looking high and low for Big Mac, wanting to speak with him alone.

>You find him quick enough, bucking trees as usual.

"Hey, how are you?"

>"I'm fine," he says gruffly, heaving a basket of apples up.

"So, about -"

>He grunts loudly, clearing his throat.

>"Why don't you get to work? We have alotta apples to harvest."

>You're frozen in place for a second, unsure how to react.

 

"Are we okay? Is something up?"

>He looks at you from the corner of his eye.

>"Everything is fine. Could ya focus on doing what I'm paying you for?"

>You don't respond, picking up an empty basket.

>Finding a nice little group of trees is easy, but by the time you find one you're far away from Big Mac.

>Thankfully, from your position you couldn't see him.

>Right now, you didn't want to.

>You smile to yourself uncomfortably, that's the first time you'd prefer not to see him.

>Obviously, something is up.

>And he isn't going to tell you anytime soon.

>Your blood runs cold, and you drop an apple.

>What if Applejack knows?

>With a shaky hand you pick the apple back up, dust it off and toss it in the basket.

>No way she could know.

>She would have freaked out last night.

>You gulp hard.

>Just the thought of the slim chance of her knowing has you in nervous shivers.

>Oh, maybe Big Mac is nervous too, and this is just his way of dealing with it?

>Or maybe he's trying to throw her off by acting all hostile with you.

>Yeah, that's it...

 

>As hard as it is you manage to push all the speculation out of your mind and focus on your work for the better part of the day.

>Quitting time comes around faster than you realize, Applejack moseying over from her spot a while away from yours.

>She smirks knowingly at you.

>"Don't be so glum, Anonymous. It's Friday."

>You nod nervously and mumble some sort of goodbye, get away from her as fast as possible.

>Yeah, she fucking knows.

>Probably.

 

>Walking home gives you some time to think about the recent events, and their possible repercussions.

>"Oh! Hiya Anonymous!"

>A tumbling bundle of fun knocks into you from behind.

>You regain your composure quickly, hopping back.

>Pinkie Pie smiles up at you, her messy hair bouncing around as she nods her head.

"Hey, what's up?"

>"It's Friday!"

"Yeah, okay?"

>"You know what that means."

>Oh god, no.

>"Party!"

>You have no interest in going to any party or festivity, you just want to go home, lie down and wallow.

"Eh, I dunno Pinks. I'm pretty worn out from working at the farm," you claim whilst rubbing your neck.

>"Oh Nonsensennony, you're never too tired for some fun!"

"Really, Pinkie, I think I'm just going to lie down. Why don't you get Twilight, or Rainbow Dash? They're always up for some fun."

>"But they aren't tall."

>Before you can consider what she said you're whipped around again, being pulled down the street by a energetic Pinkie.

>You put up little resistance, figuring it best to just go with the flow, if only to forget Big Mac for the night.

>The pink ball of energy pulls you across town without skipping a beat.

>Pinkie takes you all the way to the tavern on the edge of town.

>"Here, here is were I have all my 'It's Friday' parties."

"The movie theater let's you have parties here?"

>"No, usually I just round up a whole buncha ponies and we just go see a flick together. No balloons or streamers or anything. But now I've got you, so we don't need anyp0ny else."

"I'm almost certain that you're making no sense."

>"Don't be silly, of course I'm making sense."

>She gasps loudly and points to a poster in a window.

>"Destructapony comes out today! We have to go see it!"

 

 

>The loud munching of popcorn coming from beside you makes "Destructapony" completely joyless.

>You don't care much for those action flicks anyway.

>At least Pinkie is enjoying herself.

>...

>Maybe she could help you with your dilemma.

>Yeah, you could bounce some ideas off her.

>She could help you talk this out.

>You can imagine it now, Pinkie poking around AJ seeing what's what.

>Spending more /time/ with Big Mac would be easier with someone watching your back!

>Then again, she isn't really known for being able to keep her mouth shut.

>The thought of being "exposed" sends a shiver down your spine.

>The flashing lights on the walls of the theater play out the false smiles, the hushed conversations and the sideways glances that would come with that secret becoming not so secret.

>Sure, they'll say nothing to your face, but all the mares and all the stallions you once called friends wouldn't be able to look at you the same.

>When Pinkie leads the march up and out of the cinema you teeter behind, your stomach twisted up in knots of concern and worry.

>It Applejack knows she could make life really rough for you.

>That mare can't hold her tongue if someone were to question her directly.

>Element of honesty and all that bullshit.

>A sliver of anger invades your worried mind, seeping in like ice in the crack of a silent rock.

>You have to get this under wraps; the stakes are too high.

>"Did you have a good time?" Pinkie asks, snapping you out of your intense thought.

"Yeah, that was great. Remember when that thing blew up that other thing?" you reply in the most excited voice you can muster.

>"That was my favorite part! We should do this again next Friday."

>An idea pops into your head.

>It's probably cruel, yes, but she'll provide the perfect cover.

>If you play your cards right...

"Why wait, how about we do something tomorrow?"