Title:           Ticks, Ticks Everywhere
Author:          splinter17
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/rvEHwZ0j
First Edit:      Tuesday 12th of June 2012 03:19:17 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Sunday 5th of April 2015 01:47:30 AM CDT

>own a fluffy pony unicorn named Amber
>white fluffy and mane and striking amber eyes, her namesake, very beautiful by fluffy standards
>got her from the local fluffy shelter
>no idea why anyone would throw out a fluffy this attractive; she could have been tossed into a breeding plant at the very least
>and yet you're just keeping her as a companion pet
>shrugpony.jpg
>be outside in the backyard,
>Amber is fairly well-behaved, a result of your patient, diligent training
>she does what's told basically
>doesn't mean she can't have accidents though
>not wanting to bother with a litterbox and having a backyard, you opt to teach her to make the lawn into a big toilet
>let her run around outside in the backward for a bit to run around and to empty her bowels
>she tries to look for a spot to care of her business, but she whines about various flying insects, "buzzies", or crawling bugs, "creepies/kweepies", bothering her
>"Ambah no wike meanie buzzies! Ambah pway stompy game wif buzzies!" she barks, attempting to chase and bite a moth
>ohgodlol
"Alright Amber, let's go inside before you get snatched by a big bird. Remember, big birds think fluffies like you are yummy."
>you're not exaggerating, there are owls and hawks that see fluffies as food
>but that always gets her, causes her to shit whatever may be left in her bowels; if she won't go herself than you'll use this threat
>"Ambah no wike scawy biwds! Nu nu nu! Pwease saf Ambah!" she squeaks as she waddles as quickly as she can to the screen door
 
>this also has the benefit of tiring her out before bed; she's panting as you let her inside and shut the door
"You didn't think I'd really let them get you, did you?"
>*pant* "N-nooo... *pant*"
>you carry her to your room for bed
"I'll always be there to help you Amber. You have nothing to be scared of. Daddy loves you, yes he does!" you coo as set her on her pillow
>"*pant*Ambah haf *pant* big wuv fo' Daddy..." she groans, tired.
>minutes later, you're ready for bed and make yourself comfortable
>Amber is already asleep, so you're off to dreamland
>wake up to the sound of Amber complaining about something
>"Neeeeeyaaaaaah... Ambah no can weech ee-yah, Ambah itchy!" she squeals
>check the clock, it's the middle of the night
"Amber, what's your problem?" you grumble as you get up
>"Ambah feel somethink! Ambah no can weech!" she mewls
>she's trying to scratch the top of her head, near her ear, it seems, but her stubby legs can't reach
>apparently she hasn't heard of scratching her head against the floor or some furniture or something
"Settle down you big baby, lemme take a look" you say as you grab her
>set her in your lap, search through her fluff
>it better not be fleas again...
>hmmmmm...
>okay, there's good news and bad news
>good news, its not fleas again and you don't have to spend money on expensive shampoo
 
>bad news, it's ticks
>the pair of bean-shaped grayish-green arachnids have embedded themselves on Amber's forehead between her ears, already engorged with fluffy blood
"Fucking ticks... Alright Amber, I'l fix this, just wait there and don't break anything, okay?"
>"Otay... Wha? Whewe Daddy going? Pwease scwatch Ambah ee-yah!" she cries as you leave the room to get your suppiles
>you return minutes later. "Neeeyaaah... Dumb ee-yah! Why Ambah no weech? Why ee-yah hate Ambah! Meanie ee-yah!" the white fluffy shouts at her own ear, stamping her hooves
>this would've been amusing if she hadn't woken you so early...
>you sit back down with her, placing down a set of tweezers, a bottle of rubbing alcohol, a cotton ball, a napkin, a small glass with rubbing alcohol inside
>you volunteered at an animal shelter in high school and groomed dogs and cats, so you know how to deal with ticks
>grab Amber as she keeps yelling at her ear. "Ee-yah hate Ambah! Go 'way ee-yah!"
"Sit still Amber." you order as you grab the tweezers after placing Amber in a sort of headlock to prevent struggling
>"Daddy, pwease make ee-yah go 'way! Ee-yah mean to Ambah..."
>you carefully place the tweezers on one upright tick as close to the mouth as possible as Amber babbles on and on
>you know this won't be pleasant for her, but if just pull it out now then if you tell her this will hurt, otherwise the little dummy will struggle
"Sorry for this, Amber."
>you start to pull upward
>"O-owwies! Ambah huwt! Nuuu! Why Daddy huwt Ambah, pwease stop!" she cries as her sensitive skin is stretched and the tick's sharp mouth is pulled
>Anon pulled a tick! you place it on the napkin. with it's bloated body it's not going anywhere
>...fuck. the mouth came off and it's still in the sobbing fluffy's forehead
 
>"Pwease... no wan' owwies..." she groans in pain, tears and eye boogers flowing and staining her white fur
>she is ignored as you place the tweezers near the bite area
>thankfully the tick's detached mouth comes out easily, so Amber only feels a pinch
>little baby still goes "Owwies!" and cries some more
>unfortunately for Amber, you're not done yet
>there remains another tick between her ears
>"Wet Ambah go pwease... Ambah gif huggies? Wet Ambah go then?"
>nope.avi
>once more you use the tweezers to grip the second and last tick close to the mouth and begin pulling
>"Waaaaaah!! Ambah huwt, Ambah huwt! No mo', no mo'! Why do dis!?" she screams
>Anon pulled another tick! you place the intact bloodsucker on the napkin next to it's comrade, flailing its legs
>*sniff* Pwease... Ambah be good... No mo' huwt..." Amber begs
>one last thing left
>grasp the fluffy between your legs as you apply some rubbing alcohol to the cotton ball
>"Pwease wet Ambah go, pwease no huwt..." she begs, looking at you with fearful eyes
>headlock Amber again
>"Nu nu, dun---"
>rub the alcohol-soaked cotton ball to the bite area
>"EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! IT BUWN, IT BUWN! YAAAAAAAAH!!!" she screeches and flails in agony as the alcohol induces a burning sensation to her wound
>let her go when you're done, toss cotton ball in trash
>she hobbles away to her pillow, crying and whining, asking why you hurt her and reiterating that she was never done anything bad to you
>pick up the napkin with the ticks still on it, the tweezers and glass of rubbing alcohol, sit down next to sobbing fluffy
>when she sees you approach, she eyes go wide, she lets out an "Eek!", and she places her little hooves over her eyes, her whole body trembling. "A-Ambah sowwy, *sniff* Ambah s-s-so *sniff* sowwy..." she whispers, absolutely terrified at this point
 
>you just sigh and shake your head, thankful to Allah, Buddha and Jesus that she already pooped outside
"Amber, hey. Look at me. I won't hurt you, I promise" you say in a reassuring tone
>she still shakes and babbles for you not harm her, but she uncovers one eye, puffy and red from crying
>you take a tick in the tweezers and hold it so she can see it
"Look Amber, look. This bug, this is what made you itch, and it's what made you hurt. This meanie is a tick." you say as you show her the mouthless arachnid
>Amber stops sobbing for a second to look. you notice that her body stops shaking
>"Dat... huwt Ambah? Daddy no huwt, teek huwt Ambah? *sniff*"
>you nod
>"*sniff* Dumb teek, why so mean to Ambah? Why huwt? Ambah no do anyting to teek..." she groans before blowing a weak raspberry, now a little angry
"No need to worry Amber, this mean tick and its friend will be punished, watch. This is the Sorry Glass." you show Amber the glass of alcohol as well as the napkin with the other tick
>drop the meanie ticks inside the Sorry Glass one after the other
>meanie ticks drown
>Amber somehow understands, probably thinking the alcohol is water, so she blows another raspberry at the dying bugs
>scratch Amber's head, lying to her that she was a brave fluffy, before heading to the bathroom and flushing the ticks down the toilet and heading back to bed
>2 weeks later, Amber still seems healthy, so you doubt the ticks infected her with anything
>but they've infected her mind with something, that's for sure
>despite the fact that you made it clear that it was the ticks that hurt her, Amber seems to be a little more nervous around you, occasionally shaking when you approach her
>you can't drink booze or use cottonballs for anything in front of her; both remind her of the alcohol-soaked cottonball which makes her start bawling
>and yet it seems at the same time she knows the ticks hurt her and that they came from the backyard, since now she refuses to go outside to poop and pee
>she's probably just confused ticks with other bugs now
>"Nu nu nu, Ambah no wan' ou'sye, ou'sye scawee! Meanie teeks, meanie teeks evwee-whewe!" she mewls, pointing her hoof at the back door
>quite frankly you agree with her on this; as if you didn't have to worry about hawks and owls, now you know there's ticks
>now you have to buy a litterbox and train Amber on how to use it
>its cheaper in the long run compared to having to buy expensive anti-flea and tick medicine specially made for delicate fluffies
>and as fluffy pony owners know, training a fluffy isn't easy; it takes her weeks to get it down, all while she craps and pisses on your floor and forcing you to clean and mop it more often
>fucking ticks