Gat

>be an aspiring bank robber

>your partner in crime is named Gat

>he's a gray fluffy unicorn by the way

>enter a bank one day

>dressed up in your tightly drawn hoodie

>Gat in your arms, and your gat in your back pocket

>approach the teller

>white security guard with mustache stops you halfway

>"Sir, animals are not allowed the bank. Can you please leave it outsi--"

>BLAM!

>he blinks

>you're holding Gat in your hands, just gave him a squeeze, causing him to shoot magic from his horn

>there's now a gaping whole in the guard's chest

>he collapses in a twitching heap, everyone the bank panics

>"EVEWYWUN DOWN ON GWOUND NAO O' FWUFFY GIF BIG BIG OWWIES LIKE MISTAH!" he barks, referring the unfortunate guard

>good ol' Gat

>pull your other gat out, pointing it at nearest teller

>"WHY DUMMIES NO WISTEN?! YOU WAN' FWUFFY ANGWY?! YOU NO WUV FWUFFY WHEN FWUFFY ANGWY!"

>despite the absurdity of the situation, everyone complies, getting down on their stomachs

>you see a few kids crying, both from the gore on the scene and the deceptively cute animal yelling at them

>you eye the guard for a second, seems he's bled out

>or maybe he just died of embarrassment

 

>"EVEWYWUN THWOW CEWW PHONES ON GWOUND TOO O' ELSE!"

>after a few seconds of rustling through pockets and purses, everyone does so

>Gat sees the teller

>"GIF AWW DOWWAHS NAO O FWUFFY MAKE SOWWY POOPIES ON WADY'S HAIW!"

>turn Gat around as he lifts up his tail towards the woman to tell that he's serious

>the teller, a gorgeous redhead woman, nearly turns green at the thought

>it is known that the smell of fluffy diarrhea almost never goes away

>teller does what she's told, the whole time begging Gat to not shit in her hair

>take a few hundred dollars in cash, a few hundred worth of cell phones

>rush out of bank

>"You there, freeze!"

>awww shit

>another security guard you didn't see, a flabby black guy

>he's got his pistol pointed at you

>"Drop the gun, now!"

>you're backed into a corner, so you're not sure what to do

>Gat ain't 'fraid though

>he puffs up his cheeks and lets a few sparks loose form his horn

>"Weave fwend awone o' yuu regwet it, neegah!"

>the black guard is shocked and momentarily distracted by Gat's obscene outburst

>you quickly yet quietly give a squeeze to Gat with the hand he's on

>"Did that little motherfucker just call me a nig-"

>BLAM!

 

>a magic bolt strikes the guard in the groin!

>"AAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!"

>he immediately falls over, screeching in agony

>wasting no time, you make a break for your getaway vehicle

>"MY BALLS!!! MY FUCKING BALLS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!"

>despite the second guard's delay, you make clean getaway to your safe house

>Gat gets a brohoof

>for both a successful heist and saving your life from the second guard, he gets not one, not two, but three cans of spaghetti that night

>turn on news that night while Gat happily chows down and you drink some booze

>there's a report on you, nicknamed "The Fluffy Bandit" and Gat

>the first guard actually survived, but he was fired for being shot by a goddamned fluffy

>the second guard is also alive, but his testicles exploded and his groin area received third degree burns

>since they were so distracted by Gat, eyewitnesses didn't get a good look at you

>you and Gat are wanted and are considered extremely dangerous

>you turn to Gat

>he finished his spaghetti, he's a bit bloated from all the food

>pick him up and set him on your lap, scratching behind his ear

>he sighs in contentment

"Gat... Thank you for everything. I love you man."

>"Gat wuv daddy too..."

>he yawns cutely and falls asleep soon after

>fuckyeah.jpg