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Fluffy ponies vs. big Mojave rattlesnake(crappy first story)

By: splinter17 on May 6th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 4.41 KB  |  hits: 212  |  expires: Never
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  1. (posted as anon)
  2.  
  3. >live by yourself in one-story house in southern California
  4. >one day, you go to front yard. Today is the day you mow the lawn
  5. >might as well take care of it now, it's getting dark
  6. >except it turns out your don't have to
  7. >a pack of fluffy ponies, 5 in total(1 unicorn, 4 earths) have set up shop on your lawn and are grazing
  8. >you're surprised, stray and feral fluffies aren't common here in Cali, as their fluff makes it difficult to survive in this hot weather
  9. >the red unicorn notices you as you're distracted in your thoughts. "Wook! Munsta!"
  10. >his fellows drop what they're doing and start panicing. at least two shit themselves the instant they set eyes on you
  11. >"What? Nuuuuu!" "Munsta hoomans mean to fwuffies!" "Pwease no huwt fwuffy, jus' wan gwassies to make tummy happy!" "Hewp!"
  12. >judging by they're reactions, they've been badly abused and abandoned
  13. >"No wowwy! Smawty fwiend pwotect fwuffies! Smawty fwiend make munsta go 'way!" the unicorn says.
  14. >the scared earth fluffies huddle behind the unicorn, who has his cheeks puffed out and making the angriest face he can
  15. >"Go 'way munsta! Fwuffies take gwassies! Go 'way befo' fwuffies give owwies."
  16. >at this point, you're not sure what to do
  17. >on one hand, you could just chase them off now and be done with it
  18. >the "smart friend" just threatened you after all
  19. >on the other hand, you could let just let them eat the grass
  20. >saves you time that could be spend relaxing
  21. >plus, fluffy shit is said to be excellent fertilizer
  22. >then, the fluffies would leave after they've eaten their food, or you could chase them off if they decide to stay
  23.  
  24. "Alright fluffies. Go ahead and take the grass."
  25. >the fluffies do not hide their surprise
  26. >even the smarty stops glaring
  27. >"M-Munsta give gwassies to fwuffies? No huwt fwuffies?"
  28. "I won't hurt you guys. Eat up."
  29. >the earth fluffies start cheering
  30. >"Yay, nummies for fwuffies!" "'Fank you, you nice munsta!"
  31. >you head back inside
  32. >thankfully, none of them asked if you would adopt them
  33.  
  34. >about an hour later, you hear a commotion outside in the lawn
  35. >the fluffies seem to have encountered a "munsta" from the sounds of the babbling
  36. >you go outside to investigate
  37. >there's a damn rattlesnake in the yard, and it sees the fluffies as prey
  38. >once again, the 3 terrified earth fluffies are huddled behind the scowling unicorn smart friend
  39. >he's insane brave for a fluffy
  40. >wait, wasn't there a fourth one?
  41. >oh, there it is
  42. >the fourth earth fluffy is flopped on it's side near the rattlesnake, not moving
  43. >neither the fluffies nor the serpent notice you
  44. >"Go 'way scaley munsta! Smawty give big owwies!", the unicorn shouts.
  45. >"Hewp! Hewp! Meanie munsta wan' eat fwuffies!" "Pwease no bite, we good fwuffies!" "Why fwiend no moving? Whewe hooman? Pwease hewp!"
  46. >you choose not to intervene
  47. >circle of life and other hippie nonsenese like that
  48. >besides, no way in hell you're getting between a rattlesnake and its dinner
  49. >the snake has a dead fluffy to eat, but it feels threatened by the shouting unicorn
  50.  
  51. >it rattles its tail
  52. >the earth fluffies audibly shit themselves and cry some more
  53. >you're surprised that the unicorn isn't backing down
  54. >in fact, it lets out a yell and charges!
  55. >well, more like waddle quickly towards
  56. >"Smawty gif scaley munsta biggest owwies! Save fwie- OWWIES!"
  57. >the rattlesnake met the unicorn's pathetic charge by striking his face with its fangs
  58. >the unicorn continues to screech in pain as he collaspes and the rattlesnake pulls back, now waiting for the venom to go to work
  59. >the already horrified earth fluffies can take no more of this and flee down the street, screaming all the while
  60. >"NUU! WHEWE FWIENDS GOING? HEWP FWUFFY! PWEASE!" the unicorn cries as the rattlesnake pulls back
  61. >the unicorn continues sobbing as the paralyzing venom kicks in
  62. >"W-why... weggies no work? Why no... move? Pwease hewp..."
  63. >rattlesnake slithers back over to the unicorn, face to face
  64. >you can barely make out the dying fluffy's words
  65. >"P-pwease no huwt... Fwuffy be good... fwuffy sowwy..." it begs pathetically between sobs and hiccups
  66. >the rattlesnake opens up and starts to eat
  67. >you hear the fluffy's terrified, muffled screams
  68. >they soon stop before the snake gobbles him up
  69. >the snake goes to work on the dead earth fluffy from earlier and slithers away for somewhere safe to stay
  70. >you investigate the yard
  71. >the fluffies didn't finish eating your lawn
  72. >you still have to mow tomorrow after all
  73. >fucking fluffy ponies.
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