Title:           Fluffy Ponyville, Chapter 1: Pinkie Pie
Author:          soil
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/D4UtW6C5
First Edit:      Friday 1st of June 2012 04:26:49 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 1st of June 2012 04:26:49 AM CDT

>You are sitting at home fapping as usual
>Doorbell rings, must be that special order you put in
>Several burly men await you at door and as per your instructions, begin to unload the boxes you’re your deluxe two car garage
> The boxes contain enough cardboard house replicas to make your own fluffy sized ponyville
>Spend the next few hours setting up before you are finally ready to release the fluffies
>Each fluffy is individually caged and you have at least thirty of them
>You ordered each one special from fluffycorp to represent characters from your favorite show My Little Pony Friendship is Magic
>One by one they are released into their new home
>Infantile cries of “Pway” “hungwy” “Sketies” and “new friends” fill the room
>You pull out your trusty whistle and give it a short blow to get the towns attention
>Everyfluffy shuts up and turns towards you
> You take out your checklist and begin to take roll, making sure each fluffy knows their name where the litterbox is and where they will be sleeping.
>After you have finished the roll it is getting late so you decide to turn in for the night
> “Time for sleep now fluffies” you call to the disorganized mob milling around your legs
> The fluffies do not take kindly to this, Pinkie Pie in particular
> “Nuuuuuuu, pwinkie wan pway” she screeches over the crowds babbling
> She starts bouncing around and soon the other fluffies join in
> “PWARTWY” she screams as you look on in shock
> The party seems to consist of fluffies running around and bumping into things while yelling incoherently
>You are fascinated by the display as you have never heard of such behavior in fluffies before
>After about five minutes of observing you decide to intervene as special huggies begin to break out
>A single long blast of the whistle stops the fluffies in their tracks, all except Pinkie who is too busy to notice
>She is engaging in special huggies with Big Mac and is obviously having too much fun to stop
>The other fluffies turn to watch the lewd display as Mac keeps rutting the smaller mare, continuously repeating “Eeyup” with each thrust
>You pull him off and toss him back into the crowd much to the chagrin of Pinkie
>”MEEENIEEE” she squeels and begins to jump up and down while spraying shit all over fluttershy who happens to be standing behind her
> “EEEWWW” says Rainbow Dash as she backs away from the shit stained Pegasus who simply whimpers a barely audible “Sowwy” before crying and running away to her cottage
>You feel a pulsing in your temple, the same kind of pulsing you felt before you killed your last group of fluffies
>Your Mr Hyde emerges and you angrily grab Pinkie by the scruff of her neck
>As you slowly bring her up to eye level you take a deep breath
>No use in ruining the whole batch this time, only this fluffy really needs to pay
>A chorus of “Give back Fwend” and “Nuu Huwt fwuffy” erupts from the mob as you take Pinkie inside
>She is eerily silent as you take her to the kitchen and you get the strange feeling that her mane has lost its bounce
>You wordlessly drop Pinkie on the kitchen counter and get out your trusty stapler from the drawer
>Pinkie spots a nearby spaggetios can and tries to run at it but thanks to her clumsiness, she trips over a nearby cookbook and lands on her face
>You seize the opportunity to grab her by the scruff of the neck and staple her fluff to the book to keep her still
> “Nuu, pwinkie stwuck” she whines as she tries to run
>You lift her head so you can get a better view and grab her left upper eyelid and pull it upwards with your thumb
>With a well-practiced precision you apply the stapler to the eyelid, stapling it to where her eyebrow would be
>It takes a few seconds for Pinkie to realize what is happening but when she does your glad your garage is soundproof
> “WAAAAAAAA, OWWIES IN FWUFFY EYE” she howls, thrashing wildly but remaining firmly attached to the book
>You grab a nearby rubberband and wrap it around her muzzle before getting to work on the next eye
>She is much less cooperative this time but after pinching the eyelid and having to use two staples you are finally satisfied
>Pinkie is now incapable of closing her eyes or blinking as her lower eyelid is insufficient for covering the eyeball
>You grab one of your many open vodka bottles and pour a small amount onto each eye to disinfect each eye
>For phase two of the “adjustments” you reach into the drawer for your dogs old shock collar
>You slip it around Pinkie's neck and push the button on the remote to give it a test
>Pinkie's mumbling turns into a muffled squeal as her body twitches uncontrollably
>"If you ever tell anyfluffy about what went on here, I will staple your mouth shut" you whisper in the little fluffies ear, punctuating your threat by slamming the stapler down next to her head
>You tear the staples out of her fluff and take a moment to bask in your genius
>Feeling more proud of yourself than you should, you carry your newest creation back into the garage
>The fluffies of ponyville rejoice at the return of their friend and begin to crowd around your legs
>You remove the rubberband from Pinkie's mouth and set her down amongst the fluffies who begin to dogpile her with hugs babbling "Pway" and "Pwawty"
>"No huggies, huwt Pwinkie's eyes" she says as the other fluffies press against her exposed eyeballs
>The fluffies attempt to remedy Pinkie's pain with their usual presription of more huggies
>Eventually they grow tired of Pinkie's complaining and begin to disperse
>Pinkie begins to try and and close her eyelids with her hooves but only ends up hurting herself more
>"Pwease stop huwting eyes" she complains as she rubs her face on the concrete floor
>"Why can no cwose eyes?" she asks you expectantly
>"Why would you need to close your eyes?" You ask in mock confusion, "I thought you didnt want to go to sleep yet, I believe you wanted to 'Pwawty' instead"
>"Pwinkie sowwy, nuu wan pwawty no mowe, be good fwuffy and go sweep" she states dejectedly
>"Too late now" You say turning off the light and opening the door
>"Goodnight fwuffies" you call out before going inside to get some sleep
>You know that Pinkie wont be having a good night
>Even if she does manage to sleep with her eyes open you have set the shock collar to shock her at random at least once every ten minutes
>You wonder how long a fluffy pony can go without sleep
>Maybe you'll be the first person to find out