- >Day Things are Getting Literal in Equestria
- >You wake up to a fresh summer morning.
- >Hopping out of bed, you wake up your beautiful robo-mare and begin routine SSS.
- >Shit, Shower, Super Laser Razor.
- >The techno dance number had to be removed due to budget cuts...
- >You do the only sensible thing and blame Luna, great changes my ass.
- >Heading downstairs, you grab a bowl and pour yourself some Applebloom Crunch.
- >Twibright's cooking was unmatched, but sometimes you just wanted sugar and red dye number 45 in the morning.
- >The sound of something smacking the door is shortly followed by the delighted sounds of plastic wheels skittering across the hallway.
- >Taking another spoonful of cereal to your mouth, it reaches half way when you feel something nudging your leg.
- >Looking down, you see Twibright pawing at you with the morning newspaper in her mouth, tail swishing back and forth energetically.
- >Setting your spoon down, you take the paper from her and give her gentle pat of approval.
- >She rubs her cheek affectionately on the palm of your hand like it were made of silk and dove feathers.
- >With a light chuckle, you take a sip of coffee and open up the paper to the funnies.
- >It sure felt good to be alive.
- >Today's issue of "The Absurd and Laughable Trixie" was especially side splitting.
- >You loved how some things never change.
- >*Knock Knock Knock*
- >You accidentally shred your paper straight down the middle.
- God damn it I wasn't done with that!
- >Being alerted by the sudden noise, Twibright immediately stands to attention.
- >"I-Shall-Answer-The-Door-Master!"
- >She excitedly does a 180 and begins trotting towards the door.
- >You sigh and grab her tail, watching as she continues walking but unable to understand why she is not continuing forward.
- No Twibright let me handle this, the sooner I get it done and over with the quicker I can get back to my usual routine.
- >With an audible whiz, her neck twists around to face you like a creepy owl.
- >"You-Are-Implying-That-Fluttershy-Is-Not-Already-Part-Of-Your-Usual-Morning-Routine."
- >You silently stare at her, slightly taken aback.
- >Did...did she just zing you?
- >Well she had a point after all...
- >With your free hand, you pinch the bridge between your eyes.
- Listen I'll deal with it, why don't you go ahead and clean the rest of the dishes while I'm preoccupied.
- >She lights up with delight at the prospect of a new task to fulfill.
- >"Understood-Master. I-Shall-Complete-The-Objective-As-Efficently-As-Possible!"
- >There was a few already piled up so it was going to take her a while.
- >Heading to the door, you start practicing your war face.
- No...not quite...yesssss that's the one.
- >Settling on the face you think best suits the task of jittering Flutterbot's nuts and bolts, you swing open the door.
- What is it today Fluttershy...
- >You question is met with silence, other than the sound of those annoying disney-esque birds chirping from their newly created nest in the tree next to your house.
- Swear to Celestia I'm gonna have Flutters buzz that thing down with a chainsaw...
- >You look around cautiously, but she was no where to be found.
- Oh hell that's never a good sign.
- >Scanning the entire scenery for incoming booby traps your eyes fall down do your feet.
- >There's a small brown package, probably no bigger than a pocket book, resting on your welcome mat.
- >You do the logical thing and poke it with a stick to see if its a bomb.
- >...Nothing.
- >Against common sense, you take one more minute to check your surroundings before hastily grabbing the parcel and taking it inside to the safety of your home.
- >You make sure to lock the door several times before making your way to the couch in the living room.
- >Trying to inspect it for and nefarious schemes, you begin appraising it with the skills of a safe cracker.
- >Feel it, Smell it, taste it.
- >Seems legit...
- >You bring it up to your ear and give it a good shake like it was a present on christmas eve.
- >Only less exciting and more terrifying as the prize inside was possibly Rape™.
- >You hear something bounce and clunk around on the inside.
- >You place the box back down on your lap, there was definitely something in there.
- >Pondering what it could be, the box suddenly begins to thrash and jump about violently.
- >Oh fuck there's something alive in there!
- >Jimmies are at maximum over-rustle captain!
- >Tossing it in a panic, it flips around and lands on the opposite end of your couch.
- >You watch as the box teeters back and forth, gracefully toppling over and landing on its side, popping open the lid.
- Oh fuck me...
- >You wait in terror as the mystery creature begins to crawl out.
- >It's horrifying.
- >It's stupefying.
- >Its... an itty-bitty tiny Flutterbot?
- >Yes, a miniature sized Flutterbot.
- >A..."Flutterbot Mini", if you will.
- >She crawls out of the brown cardboard package, stumbling back and forth, swaying in a jumbled mess of disorientation.
- >Wait a tick...how the hell did she knock on the door if she was...
- >...Forget it, it's Magic™
- >It's always fucking Magic™
- >Coming back to her senses, she climbs onto your lap and starts buzzing and chirping at you, trying to get your attention.
- >But its too difficult to hear her with her newly found micro voice.
- >You lift her off of your lap and bring her next to your ear.
- >Her high pitched squeaky tone finally manages to reach you.
- >"QUERY: dO yOu fInD mIcRo mAcHiNeS sUfFiCeNtLy aRrOuSiNg aNoNyMoUs?"
- >For a brief moment your mind blanks as flashbacks hit you with their whiteout effect.
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDBvEo1s6A4
- >Flutterbot's voice breaks you from your brain dead stupor.
- >"QUERY: aRe yOu fUnCtIoNiNg aT oPtImAl cApAcItY aNoNyMoUs?"
- >Regaining your senses, you wipe some drool that was making its way down your chin.
- >Raising a finger you shush her and look over to check if Twibright has noticed anything.
- >She was still in the kitchen, efficiently cleaning dishes with high frequency sound waves while humming a cheery tune.
- >That flashback gave you a devious idea.
- >Grinning mischievously, you turn your attention back to Minishy and whisper your devil's deal.
- No Fluttershy, miniature robots are not my fetish, but I'll tell you something else.
- >She looks up at you, tiny adorable question marks appear in her eye screens.
- If you stay quiet, we can go play in my room for the rest of the day.
- >She starts glowing like a Light-Bright when you mention the word "play".
- >"ASSESSMENT: tHaT sOuNds mOsT rEaSoNaBlE aNoNyMoUs!"
- >You stifle a laugh so Twibright doesn't hear.
- >Oh god this was gonna be good.
- >Discretely packing her back into the box, you quietly make your way to your room like an autistic ninja.
- >Gently closing the bedroom door, you rush over to your desk and sweep all the papers off onto the floor.
- >Setting the box down on the table, Flutterbot climbs out as you begin setting the scenery.
- >Apparently, her tiny jet engines were too little to sustain flight now.
- >"QUERY: wHaT mAnNeR oF pLaY iS tHiS?"
- >You turn to her with a smile, a mixture of craziness and passion plastered across your face.
- This my dear Fluttershy...
- >With a thematic wave, you reveal your labor of love.
- Is MY world!
- >Lifting her up in the palm of your hand, you give her a panoramic view of your exact replica of Canterlot.
- >Everything was there, down to the finest detail.
- >From the snobby upper-class drinking lattes in the cafe, down to the homeless beggars sleeping under cardboard in the back alleys.
- >It was all...perfect.
- >Hopping down from your palm, Minishy begins wandering through the plastic streets.
- >"STATEMENT: yOuR aTtEnTiOn tO dEtAiL iS qUiTe iMpReSsIvE."
- >She cranes her head back and forth, assessing your craftsmanship.
- >Eventually, she stops in her tracks and looks up at you.
- >Kinda made you feel like a god from your perspective.
- >"SUPPLEMENT: hOwEvEr i dO nOt uNdErStAnD hOw i mAy aSsIsT iN tHiS mAnNeR oF pLaY."
- >You leer down at her in very disturbing manner, a toothy grin creeping across your face.
- Oh...you'll see.
- >...
- All bow before your new mechanical overlord!
- >A couple hours had passed already.
- >You had set up an entire crowd of plastic p0nies underneath Canterlot castle.
- >Minishy was standing on top of one of the castle's balconies dressed in fancy garb, addressing the "people".
- >"STATEMENT: pRoStRaTe yOuRsElVeS bEfOrE yOuR nEw dEiTy!"
- >Minishy was really getting into the roleplay aspect, you were almost convinced she somehow thought the plastic figures were actual sentient subjects.
- >Grabbing one of the blue stallions, you start moving him around and speaking with a childish attempt at a ventriloquist voice out of the side of your mouth.
- ~You can't do this! Celestia will stop you and your reign of terror will be at an end!~
- >"QUERY: yOu dArE sTaNd aGaInSt mE!?"
- >You continue, trying to animate him a little more.
- ~Your iron hoofed tyranny will crumble under the might of our legendary heroes!~
- >She started to shake, you could tell she was getting visibly infuriated.
- >"STATMENT: hErOeS? HEROES!? aLlOw mE tO dEmOnStRaTe wHaT i tHiNk oF yOuR sO cAlLed hErOeS!"
- >Minishy's eyes glow a furious red as she stands above the balcony's guard rails and unloads a barrage of missiles on the poor plastic figure.
- >In reality, due to her current size all she was doing is launching plastic red and white rocket shaped B.B.s at him with a cheesy *tick tick tick* noise.
- >They all end up bouncing off harmlessly.
- >Stifling a laugh you decide to keep playing along.
- ~arrggghh she got me, somep0ny, anyp0ny, help...mehhhhh~
- >You knock the knock the stallion over like a fallen chess piece, feigning death.
- >You bring a mare over to grieve for him.
- ~Oh Celestia whyyyy!?!~
- >You pick out another brown stallion.
- ~He was only two days to retirement you monster!~
- >Minishy puffs out her chest in victory, attempting to strike fear into the hearts of your lifeless toys.
- >"STATEMENT: tHiS iS wHaT sHaLl hApPeN tO tHoSe wHo aPpOsE mE aNd mY nEw rEgImE!"
- >She strikes a dramatic pose and leers down at the crowd ominously.
- >"QUERY: wHeRe iS yOuR cElEsTiAl gOd nOw mOrTaL bEiNgS?"
- >She raises her arms to the air and starts cackling maniacally, it'd be fucking terrifying if she wasn't as adorable as a button right now.
- ~...~
- >You start tilting each p0ny over until the whole crowd is on their knees.
- >"STATEMENT: yEs, yEs! bOw dOwN bEfOrE yOuR nEw mEtAl lEaDeR!"
- ~All hail queen Fluttershy, our malevolent lord and savior!~
- >You fake some fanfare along with some cheering.
- >By the end of it both of you end up in a giggling fit.
- Hahahaha oh Fluttershy, I never realized playing with you could be so-
- >*Knock Knock Knock*
- >Your eyes shrink to pin pricks as you hastily swivel your chair to face your bedroom door.
- >Oh shit... if Twibright knows you've been secretly playing with Minishy behind her back she's gonna rip you a new one!
- >"Master-Are-You-Doing-Alright-Today? You-Haven't-Left-Your-Bedroom-Since-Breakfast."
- >Shit gotta play it cool.
- Don't mind me Twibright, just continuing my various quirky hobbies, hahahaha you know how it is.
- >"I-Heard-You-Conversing-Just-Now-Is-Somep0ny-Else-In-There-With-You?"
- >Shit she's not buying it!
- n-n-NOPE, just talking to myself! Yeah you know how crazy I get sometimes hehehehe...
- >You hear some weird mechanical sounds come from her as she idles on the other side of your door.
- >"...I-Am-Coming-Inside-Master"
- >FUCK!
- >Panicking, you throw a bed sheet over your desk (much to Minishy's distaste) and answer in a creepy voice that resembles Egor from old Frankenstein movies.
- I'm fine! Nothing to worry about!
- >She opens your door, frowning at you as she steps inside.
- >"You-Do-Not-Sound-Fine-Sir."
- >Stepping closer, her eyes flash green as she gives you a quick scan.
- >"And-Your-Heartrate-Is-Increasing-At-An-Alarming-Rate!"
- >You struggle to keep up your shoddy poker face when Flutterbot begins to fight against the sheets.
- >You mutter under your breath.
- Be quiet you.
- >"Master...Are-You-Conversing-With-Your-Figurines-Again?"
- >God damn it...
- N-n-no, don't be stupid Twibright.
- >You look away nervously as she comes in for a closer inspection.
- >"Please-Do-Not-Tell-Me-You-Have-Fallen-Love-Struck-For-Another-One-Of-Your-Models-Again..."
- >You scowl, mildly irritated.
- Oh come ON! I told you that was a ONE-TIME-THING!
- >Seriously, you go mildly insane just ONE TIME and you never hear the end of it.
- >As you turn around to voice your complaints you're struck with the realization that her head is now buried underneath your pathetic attempt to conceal your shame.
- >You bite your nails and wordlessly watch as she begins searching around your diorama.
- >Finally, she starts moving her head towards the castle balcony.
- No wait!
- >Then there was silence, her body wasn't moving and all you can do is watch with nervous tension so thick it would take diamonds to cut it.
- >And then suddenly, her body jerks and the sheets start thrashing about!
- >Gears churning, metal clacking, sparks zapping, speakers *beep*ing.
- >Wrenching her head out from underneath, she glares at you furiously as she presents her new found "catch" between her teeth.
- >Flutterbot is hanging there, kicking her legs out and attempting to run with no where to go.
- >"And-What-Exactly-Is-This!?!"
- >Her fiber optic hair twangs comically out of place as she looks at you, her scratched up face looking at you like a mother that found her son's porn collection.
- >You try nervously to laugh it off casually, failing miserably.
- >"Care-To-Explain-Master?"
- >It was kinda funny how she was holding her up by the scruff of her neck like a baby kitten.
- >At least it would be, if that kitten wasn't rapidly firing swears like a rabid chipmunk.
- >Taking a moment to ponder your options, you decide to do the most logical solution.
- >Flying to the floor, you get on your knees and start begging for mercy.
- I'm sososososo sorry Twibright, I couldn't resist the allure of her tiny metal charms.
- >Even you realize how ridiculous that sentence sounds.
- >Mustering your best sad face, you look back up at her.
- Can you forgive me?
- >She levitates Flutterbot up into the air and begins pondering what her answer shall be.
- >"Hmmm..."
- >She rubs a hoof against her chin, deciding your fate.
- >The suspense feels like an assassin slowly wrapping a garrote around your throat.
- >Finally making up her mind, her eyes glow a flaming red.
- >She starts to fume and glares down at you as you try to shrink away.
- >"...Alright! You-Are-Forgiven!"
- >Flashing a cheeky smile her eyes revert to their normal amethyst.
- R-really?
- >You can't help but question a good thing.
- >"On-One-Condition!"
- >You stare at her confused, unable to imagine what kind of punishment she has in store.
- >"You-Must-Take-Me-On-A-Date-This-Weekend-To-Make-It-Up-To-Me."
- >You begin to sigh with relief, there was so many different horrors going through your mind you kind of terrify yourself for having thought of them.
- >"A-REAL-Date-This-Time! Grocery-Shopping-Is-Not-A-Mare's-Idea-Of-Romance!"
- >...Ok so you tricked her into carrying vegetables last week, she really needs to stop living in the past.
- Alright, alright I understand. I swear unto you m'lady, I shall show thee' the time of thy life.
- >You both begin to blush furiously at the cheesiness of that line.
- >The mood is (for better or worse) ruined by a certain forgotten someone.
- >Minishy is thrashing about while shouting out what is probably curses in binary.
- >She struggles futilely against the purple electro-magnetic waves holding her in the air.
- >Twibright and you finally notice the little war machine and stare back her.
- >"COMMAND: rElEaSe mE yOu gIgAnTiC oVeRgRoWn fAx mAcHiNe!"
- >Not taking that insult lightly, she brings her down to her eye level and begins to scowl at the yellow menace with her full attention.
- >Flutterbot squeaks in terror, she'd probably wet herself if she could.
- >"SUPPLEMENT: ...i-i-iF yOu dO nOt mInD tHaT iS *beep*."
- >You watch as Twibright's face turns into that of an evil mad scientist's grin.
- >Fuck that's so hot when she does that.
- >A familiar lavender aura surrounds one of Flutterbot's hind legs.
- >She begins to thrash in understandable panic.
- >"SUGGESTION: WAITWAITWAITWECANTALKABOUTTH-"
- >Her tiny chipmunk voice shrieks in what can only be binary code as Twibright begins to pluck her limbs off one by one.
- >Kinda reminds you of those kids that would rip the wings off of dragonflies back in the day.
- >The inner sadist inside you is getting oddly aroused.
- >By the time it was over, she was just a clump of metal and plastic separated into roughly 14 different interchangeable pieces.
- >Mesmerized by the scene, you follow Twibright through the house as she levitates the pile of bits that was Minishy down the stairs and out the door.
- >You can still barely hear her tiny head shouting random curses and expletives at the both of you.
- >Stepping next to your garden, Twibright flips open your trusty recycle bin's lid.
- >With a creepy chuckle, you watch as Twibright drops the newly transformed scrap metal inside.
- >Sticking her head curiously inside the plastic bin for a moment, she pulls out and gives you your favorite faithful servant smile.
- >Warms you up every single time.
- >"My-Apologies-Master."
- >She slams the container closed and dusts off her front hooves.
- >"But-It-Seems-There-Was-..."
- >She pauses dramatically, levitating a pair of sunglasses from your pocket onto her face.
- >"...-Some-Assembly-Required"
- >A soundtrack plays from her speakers.
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YMPAH67f4o
- >Dear Princess Celestia.
- >Today was pretty fucking awesome.

