Sweaty Personhorses: Chapter IV (Intermission)

>Golden rays of light flood into your room

>One of the beams falls directly onto your eye

>Giving a minor grunt of annoyance, you leave your cozy bed

>Yesterday, you had helped Twilight in finding a foul smelling plant from deep in the Everfree Forest that Celestia wanted for who knows what

>On the way back home, you explained to Twi all the things about the plant Zecora had told you

>Twilight asked you to accompany her to Canterlot today as she personally delivered the plant to the princess

>Of course you accepted

>Who would pass up a free trip to Canterlot?

>But there was one other reason you accepted

>Those looks Rarity and Applejack were giving you last night weren't exactly comforting

>Hell, you could say they were downright rapey...

>A trip out of town might be just what you need

>But as fate would have it, it's Sunday, so both Applerape and Rapity have the day off

>So now you're going to be stuck on a train with two...

>Wait, why are you scared of them?

>You're a man, dammit!

>A man ain't scared a no woman!

>Besides, what could they do?

>Rarity never lifts a finger

>And you're pretty sure you could take AJ if you absolutely had to

>Feeling confident you could beat up a woman, you dress and slurp down some breakfast

>Twi has planned for all of you to meet at her housebrary to pick up your train tickets

>Grabbing your keys, you head out

 

...

 

>The brisk morning air was cool to the touch as Twilight's came into view

>From the distance you could see three figures standing outside

>On closer inspection, it was Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Twilight

>Pinkie sees you approach and calls out

>"NON~NY! WE GOT YOUR TIC~KET!"

>The outburst causes you to wince

>Flutters even moreso

>As you take the ticket from Pinkie, you look around

>No sign of Applejack, Rarity, or Dash

>Come to think of it, you hadn't seen Dash yesterday either

"So where is everybody?"

>"I don't know."

>Twilight

>Her arms are crossed and her foot is tapping

>"But they better be here in the next five minutes!"

>"Twilight, darling, outside doesn't necessarily mean outside voice."

>Turning, you see Rarity and Applejack approach from behind

>Twi lets out a huff

>"Finally! What took you?!"

>Rarity 'hmphs'

>"Real beauty takes time to perfect. Also, we're going to Canterlot! I have to look my absolute best."

>She emphasizes by giving her hair a flip

>Twilight growls and goes inside to fetch Rarity and AJ's tickets

>Rarity was right about taking her time, she looked extra prettied up today

>Her pristine white blouse and matching purple skirt looked brand new

>And her usual purple heels were replaced with elegant purple sandals that showed off her pedicure

>Not wanting to be caught staring, you look up

"Morning Rarity."

>Any huffiness she had dissipates as she turns to you

>"Anonymous! Such a pleasure to see someone not being a pill this morning."

>Pinkie perks up at this

>"Hey! I'm not a pill! ...Whatever that means!"

>"Oh, yes, haha..."

>You then turn to address Applejack

>She was looking rather fetching herself this morning, too

>Her button shirt was tucked neatly into her pants, without the usual dirt

>Even her old boots seemed cleaner

>And her hair actually looks taken care of

>Did Rarity convince AJ to go with her to the spa?

>Her cheeks are a little rosy, too

"And morning to you too, AJ."

>"Mornin' yerself, hun."

>Suddenly, two tickets float over to the girls

>"There's your tickets. Now let's move!"

>"Oh... but what about, um... Rainbow?"

>Flutters must have found her voice

>"She's late! And the train leaves in 2 minutes!"

>And with that, the six of you run down to the station

>On the way, you pass by Dash's apartment

>As if on cue, Dash steps out

>She winces from the morning light and pops her back

>Her eyes widen as she sees you run by

>"Hey! Where are you guys going?!"

>"Train station! Canterlot! TARDY!"

>"Wait up!"

>Somehow, Dash runs back into her room, changes, and still manages to get to the station before you do

>After the plant was placed in the cargo area, the seven of you board the train

>Being the gentleman you are, you allow the ladies to go first

>Once your ticket is punched, you open the door and step into the passenger car

>There are six booths, each with one of the girls sitting in them

>Twilight seems to be reciting what she'll say to Celestia

>Pinkie is bouncing in her seat waiting for the train to start

>Dash looks ready to fall asleep at any moment

>Rarity is examining her nails and checking her makeup with a mirror

>Applejack seems somewhat uncomfortable as she twiddles her thumbs

>And Fluttershy is being Fluttershy

>The last time you saw Dash, she had thrown you and Gilda out of her apartment

>You should probably apologize for what happened

>Making your way over to the booth, you plop down beside Dash

>The sudden impact snaps her out of her drowsiness

>"Wha?! Oh, hey Anon..."

>She yawns

"You seem so tired. You didn't have to come."

>"Nah, I'm good. Just spent all day yesterday, um, disinfecting my living room."

"Oh yeah..."

>You feel you cheeks heat up

"Sorry. If I knew it bothered you so much, I never would have... agreed with Gilda."

>Dash fidgets slightly

>"No problem. Wasn't your fault."

>Instant relief washes over you

>You had feared Dash would have blabbed to everyone

>"So, what, something going on between you and Gilda?"

"Wha? No!"

>She grins

>"You sure? 'Cause you both seemed to be getting into it."

"Dash! Shh!"

>First she seemed scared to death of feet, now she's almost... lusty?

"I told you; Gilda was curious and I obliged her. That's all."

>Dash chuckles and waves you off

>"All right, all right. Just be sure to invite me to the wedding!"

>She bursts out in sleepy laughter

>Sounds more like she's drunk

>You sigh and cover your face, out of embarrassment for Dash more than yourself

>After the laughter dies down, you immediately hear snoring

>Looking over your shoulder, you see Dash has fallen asleep

>Her giant gaping mouth is making noise similar to a horse

>The whole scene makes you chuckle

>Looking forward, you see a mound of cotton candy flailing around

>Giving the slumbering Dash a final look, you you stand up in the aisle

>Pinkie gives you a wide grin as you slip into her booth

>"Heya Nonny! Have a seat!"

>She stops bouncing so you can sit

>"Canterlot! Are you excited, Nonny?! I'm excited!"

"Haven't you been to Canterlot before?"

>"Well, duh. But usually it's for something super important, so I never get to go check out the shops! Ooh! Would you like to go shopping with me?"

>You shrug

"Sure."

>Maybe she'll let you rub her feet afterwards

>"Great! GASP! WecangotooneofthosehealthstoresI'veheardabout! Theneveneveryonecancometomypartieswithoutworryingaboutgettingfat! I'llbethebestpartthrowerever!"

>And of course Ponko has no idea that a health store doesn't sell healthy sugar

>"Psst!"

"Huh?"

>You glance around to see who made the sound

>"Psst!"

>This time you turn around

>Rarity is gesturing you to come over

>Somehow, this seem like a bad idea...

>Meh, what's the worst that could happen?

>You try to excuse yourself from Pinkie, but she won't stop talking about tofu cupcakes

>Rarity smiles as you slide in next to her

"Need something, Rarity?"

>"No, not at the moment. I just though you might want to get away from Pinkie before she talked your ear off."

"Nah, Pinkie's alright."

>She clears her throat before continuing

>"So..."

>Rarity crosses her right leg over her left knee, allowing it to dangle

>"Any plans once we reach Canterlot?"

>The light streaming from the window hits her painted toes, giving them a hypnotic purple shine

>That's when it hits you

>Rarity didn't dress up just for Canterlot

>No, she knew damn well you were going to be on the train with her

>And you walked right into the spider's web

>But can the fly escape?

>Looking up from her feet, you lock eyes with Rarity

>Her powerful gaze and devilish smile threaten to suck the life out of you

>Quick! Say something before your mouth completely dries up!

"Y-Yeah... with Pinkie."

>Rarity furrows her brow and pouts a little

>"Oh. Nothing set in stone, I hope?"

"No, not really. Why do you ask?"

>"I simply thought if you're going to be alone, you would join me for dinner?"

>A sudden blow to the back of the seat sends Rarity to the floor

>She quickly regains her composure and returns to her seat

>"Haha! Silly me! I meant to say 'join a FRIEND and I for dinner'!"

>You smile

>Pretty sure you know who that friend is

"What time?"

>"Does six work for you?"

"Sure does."

>"Wonderful! Then I- WE will see you tonight!"

>You get up to leave, but decide to give Rarity another look

>She places her hand to her mouth and titters

>"My, my. What did I tell you about subtlety, Anonymous~?"

>Her toes playfully curl, eager to capture you again

"Oh, sorry. But that spot is just so distracting."

>"Spot?!"

>Her sultry eyes shoot open as she stares down at her lap

>A giant brown smudge has appeared on her skirt after she took that fall

>She begins visibly shaking and tears start welling

>Giving a howl of anguish, Rarity pushes past you and runs to the little fashionista's room

>The commotion briefly wakes up Dash, who promptly falls back asleep

"Ah, that was fun."

>Glancing behind you, you spot the 'friend' Rarity had mentioned

>Yep

>But why didn't she just ask you herself?

>As you sit down, Applejack blushes and turns her head

>Fighting back a smile, you casually start a conversation

"So... Dinner with Rarity, huh?"

>"Yeah, Ah heard. Have fun."

>You shift your eyes to the right and see a boot print on the back of Rarity's seat

"She mentioned a friend. Any idea who that could be?"

>Applejack grimaces

>"Dang it, Anon. Ya know Ah ain't good at this... girly stuff. Ah needed Rarity t'help."

"Is that why you look so pretty today?"

>AJ grins

>"This ain't jus' fer you, sugarcube. Ah thought Ah might go clubbin' later."

>Applejack? Clubbing?

>You give her a deadpan stare before you both burst out laughing

"So what's with this 'friend' stuff?"

>Her smile fades

>"Ah thought that after what Ah did to ya yesterday, ya might not want anything to do with me..."

>So this is what was bothering her

>"So Ah asked Rarity t'ask you. Do ya... still wanna go?"

>You give her a reassuring smile

"Of course. I wasn't mad at you or anything. Just... please don't talk about my, uh, y'know."

>She nods

>"Promise. Ah was never gonna tell anyone, anyway."

"So I'll see you at six, then?"

>"Six sharp!"

>Turning to the voice, you notice Rarity has been standing behind you

>"Oh, drats. You found out our mutual 'friend.'"

>She says in a mock sad tone

>"No matter. We'll still have an excellent evening."

>You stand in the aisle to return to your seat, when Rarity softly whispers

>"And I never made such a promise."

"W-What?"

>Rarity doesn't answer but curtly takes her seat

>That comment didn't sit well with you...

>Better not dwell on it

>It IS Rarity, after all

>Still another hour until the train reaches Canterlot

>As you try to make yourself comfortable, your ears pick up on some mumbling

>"...'And so, I present you with'... no. 'It is with great honor'... ugh."

>Twilight, of course

>Time for more seat scootin'

"Twilight?"

>"Aah!"

>Her note cards fall from her hands

>"What, Anon?!"

"Are you... writing a speech?"

>She looks at her cards

>"Ugh, no. I just wanted to organize my notes on the plant for Celestia's records."

>Look at one of the cards

"'As your faithful student, I humbly bestow this plant unto Your royal records'?"

>Twi blushes but quickly snaps back

>"It's called being respectful, Anon!"

"C'mon, Twi. I know she's the princess and all, but you don't always have to kiss her feet."

>Heh, snuck a little foot reference in there

>"Well, what if I WANT to kiss her feet?!"

>What?

"What?"

>"I-I mean, be respectful?"

"You alright, Twi? You haven't been yourself these past couple of days."

>Twilight is silent before she sighs and runs her fingers through her purple strands

>"I haven't much sleep since I got that letter. Every night was a blur of print..."

>She does have some serious bags under her eyes

"We got the plant now, why not get some rest?"

>Judging by Twi's face, she's seriously considering it

>"But... my notes."

"You'll have plenty of time later. Just get some sleep, okay?"

>"...Alright."

>Twilight brings her knees up to her chest and removes her simple, brown loafers

>She's still wearing those dirty, argyle socks you saw her in

>And that smell suggests she hasn't washed her feet, either

>Twi's usually good at personal hygiene

>But once she's in study mode...

>Chuckling, you stand up, only to be kicked in the leg

>"Heard that."

>Twilight's eyes are closed, but she's smiling

>You have half a mind to tickle that foot, but you leave her to her rest and return to your seat

>Wait, you almost forgot Flutters

>She'd be crushed in you didn't say hi

>Fluttershy hears your footsteps and turns her head to face you

"Mind if I join you?"

>"Oh, not at all."

>She smiles and scoots over a little

>For a minute, you and Fluttershy sit in silence

>Looks like you'll have to make first move

"Everyone's making plans for when we reach Canterlot. Got any?"

>Fluttershy thinks a moment

>"Well, Rainbow had asked me to go swimming with her later. The gym in Canterlot has a pool that's great for doing laps."

"You mean like a workout?"

>"Uh huh. Rainbow's been trying to get me in shape lately."

"Really? You look fine to me."

>She covers her mouth and giggles shyly

>"Thank you, but if I ever want to start standing up for myself, I need to build up some muscle!"

>Raise an eyebrow

"Rainbow tell you that?"

>"Don't worry, she's not killing me. In fact, she's a great trainer. Look! I'm already making progress!"

>Fluttershy lifts that twig she calls an arm and flexes

>"See?"

"Uh, yeah..."

>"She's also really supportive. Whenever we go running and I get all sweaty, she never complains, even when I take off my shoes."

>Wait, back up

"Shoes?"

>"Yeah, I usually wear them with these cute pink ankle socks that go great with my sweater, but they get sooo smelly afterwards, so I have to-"

>Gah, quick, stop her before you boner!

"N-No, I meant, Dash hates feet I thought."

>"She does? She's never said anything..."

>This is getting weird

>And Dash never mentioned going to the gym when you talked with her

"Oh, uh, never mind then. When will you be at the gym?"

>"Rainbow said sometime after lunch, so about two o'clock. Why, did you want to come?"

"I might."

>"Then I'll look forward to seeing you!"

>She smiles

>You smile back and stand up

>A quick glance at your watch reads 10:16

>The train should reach Canterlot around 11

>Maybe you should follow your own advice and get some rest

>Finding an empty seat, you stretch out and make yourself comfortable

>The soft rocking of the train quickly puts you to sleep

 

...

 

>"EVERYONE WAKE UP! WE'RE HERE!"

>Pinkie's shrill voice drills into your ears

>With a groan, you open a groggy eye and take a look for yourself

>Tall white buildings start coming into view as the train reaches Canterlot station

>A quick stretch and you are ready

>Twilight, however, isn't as well rested

>"I never thought I'd hate the sun as much as I do right now..."

>She desperately tries to block out the sunbeam dancing on her face

"Now you know how I felt. C'mon, Twi! Celsetia, the SUN goddess, awaits!"

>Twilight cracks open a bloodshot and glares at you

>You grin and dangle her shoes in front of her

>She snatches them without a word

>You claim your pack from the cargo and step out into the late morning sun

>A clock tower reads 11:03

>Once out on the platform, Twilight addresses you

>"A guard should be on the way to escort us to the castle."

"Do we even need an escort?"

>She huffs

>"It's customary. Besides, do you want to haul that plant all the way to the castle?"

"Fine. I'll let some jarhead do it."

>"Ahem."

>A feminine voice behind you says

>Turning around, you see a woman clad in gold armor

>But what catches your eyes are those revealing leather sandals

>Unlike her sparkling armor, the sandals are scuffed and worn

>"Good morning. Twilight Sparkle?"

>"Yes?"

>"I have been assigned to escort you to Her highness."

>She then cuts her eyes at you

>"I'll be your 'jarhead' for the evening."

>Chuckle nervously

"I, of course, meant no disrespect, ma'am."

>"Mh-hmm..."

>She still gives you that stern look, but with an amused smile

"I just thought you were going to be a guy or something."

>Twilight decides to save you from the spaghetti seeping from your pockets

>"Sorry about Anon. And yes, an escort would be great."

>She shows the guard the plant and she loads it into a cart

>"I'm going on ahead to get things ready for the appointment with the princess. It's at four this evening, so don't forget."

>Hmm, that's cutting it close to your "not date"

"How long will it last you think?"

>"Thirty minutes, an hour tops. All we have to do is report our findings and answer any questions Celestia may have. Or Luna if she is present."

"Alright. Sounds good."

>Twilight joins the guard with the plant

>"Remember! Four o'clock!"

>You wave her off as she and the guard depart

>It then dawns on you that you are alone on the train platform

>The rest of the gang must have gone on to do whatever

>Your watch reads 11:17

>Now you just need to kill some time