All oneshots made after May 11th, 2013

>Day Cake dancing in Equestria.

>You've been going out with Pinkie for several weeks now, even though her landlords don't approve.

>Good thing you knew how to sneak in when they weren't around.

>Today, you plan on laying the moves on that sweet, pink mare, and maybe, just maybe, get some sweet, pink poon.

>She may be sweet and affectionate, but a guy's got his urges.

>Sugarcube corner is closed today, and the Cakes are out getting more supplies, meaning the place is going to be empty.

>Just you, and Pinkie.

>Coming in the back door with the key Pinkie let you have, you creep around, listening to make sure the cakes are gone.

>With no signs of the landlords, you silently climb the stairs.

>Outside the door to your marefriend’s room, you gently take hold of the knob.

"Pinks, I'm here."

>There's no response, and you try to turn it, but the door is locked.

"Pinkie, are you in there?"

>Again, no response, and you turn to head out, when there is a sound from downstairs.

>"Pinkie, we're home!" Mrs. Cake calls out.

>"She's not here, remember. She had princess related business." Mr. Cake replies, "That means we have the house, all. To. Ourselves."

>A giggle carries up the stairs, and panic sets in.

"Oh fuck, this is bad."

>Looking around for some way to get out of for somewhere to hide, your mind runs through all the shit that would happen if you were found.

"Bathroom? Way to open. Twin's room? Knowing them, this is probably where it's going to happen."

>Turning to the last room on this floor, their bedroom, you run inside.

>It's the first time you've been in here, and you're shocked by what you see.

>Absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.

>Seriously, with the way they hated on you, you had figured they'd have at least one dartboard with your face on it.

>Hoof steps come up the stairs and you dive into the closet.

>You just manage to close the door before you hear them walk in.

>"So, what did you have in mind, dear?" you hear Mr. Cake ask before they come into view.

>Circling him like a shark and practically molesting him with her tail, Mrs Cake replies, "I was thinking you could show off some of those dance moves you used, back when we first dated."

>His smirk cant be missed, and he motions her to the bed.

>"It's been a while, but these flanks of mine can still shake."

>Stretching out on the bed, Mrs. Cake rests her head on crossed fore hooves and watches eagerly.

>It starts simple enough, Mr. Cake doing a few dance steps punctuated by the occasional flank shake.

>Then, he unties his apron and shit starts getting weird.

>The feeling of the dance changes from kinda normal and a little erotic(for a horse dancing) to him just waving his junk around.

>What has to be the creepiest part of it, Mrs. Cake is blushing like a maniac and her tail is slowly rising.

>Like a train wreck, you find it impossible to look away, despite being disgusted by the look of his mottled horse cock.

>And for his finishing move, he rears up on his rear hooves, junk swaying like a pendulum.

"DEAR GOD I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" you yell out, bursting from the closet doors, "You seriously call that erotic dancing. I was practically blowing chunks just watching."

>"What the buck were you doing in our closet, and I doubt you could do any better, monkey man," Mr. Cake snaps back.

"Challenge accepted," you reply, giving a smile.

>Nop0ny knows it, but before you came to Equestria, you were a professional male stripper, and a high class one at that.

>Snapping your fingers, a tune starts up (Thank you, song magic.), and you start your show.

Pick your favourite strippery type song and put it here

>With each beat, you strike a slightly different pose, and slowly pull of pieces of clothing.

>Getting down to only your boxers, you start towards her, still moving only with the song.

>As it comes to a close, you are climbing up the edge of the bed with half-lidded eyes, a finger under her chin and a seductive smile.

>Slowly dragging your finger down her chin and back, you step away and turn to Mr. Cake.

"And THAT is how you dance seductively."

>Defeated, Mr. Cake hangs his head low and slinks out of the room, tail between his legs.

>Turning back to Mrs. Cake, you are knocked down as she tackles you, her lips seeking yours.

>Before you can get a word out, she's taken over your mouth with hers and is rubbing her crotch along your waist.

>Breaking away, she says, "I didn't know you could dance like that! If I had, I would have left him for you long ago."

"Left him?! What are you talking about?"

>Sitting up, but still grinding, she replies, "Ponies, we *moan* attract mates with our colours and seal the deal with dancing."

"So I just..."

>Nodding, she starts trying to kick away your boxers, but due to the massive boner you're sporting, they don't move.

>Getting up, she climbs onto the edge of the bed, her tail jacked up so high you could swear it was going to rip off and her vagina dripping juices like a leaky faucet.

"But I'm with Pinkie..."

>"Rut me now, and dance for her later; I don't mind sharing, and I'm quite sure she doesn't."

>Unable to argue with her logic, you pull off your only remaining piece of clothing and step forward.

>Lining up with her soaked slit, you press in and pierce deep into her.

>Her soft folds part around your cock, squeezing gently as you fill her most intimate of holes.

>Just as you are about to start thrusting, the door behind you opens, and you hear a gasp.

>"Nonny! How could you take Mrs. Cake away from Mr. Cake?"

"I didn't, at least, not intentionally."

>"Pinkie, how come you never told me he was so good at mating dances?" Mrs. Cake asks, trying to get you to start thrusting by wiggling her ample ass.

>"Nonny's never done a mating dance for me though..."

"Because I didn't know it was so important. After I'm done here, how about we head to your room, and I show you just how well I can dance?"

>Pinkie's smile could split her face, and she trots out, wagging her flank as she does.

>"Don't keep me waiting too long, Nonny."

>Turning back to the task at hand, you can only think, "Today is going to be a great day."