random shorts

>hug raep

 

 

>Day hug-rape in Equestria

>You are Anon, and with god as your witness you WILL rape these ponies

>No, not normal rape, that proved ineffective when you first tried that

>You literally grabbed Twilight by her horn, shoved your erect dick in her face, and told her to suck it

>With gusto she gave you probably the best blowjob you've ever had, but it came at a great price: she wasn't traumatized

>She figured she was just helping you fulfill some human need and didn't realize it was sexual at all

>It took awhile to calm down after finding that out; after-all it just isn't rape if the victim doesn't feel like a victim after it's done

>After you had calmed down you prodded her about pony sexuality

>Hugs

>A goddamn full body hug/cuddle is their sex

>That just makes it SO much easier, you don't even have to get hard to do it

>You fully took advantage of this information as soon as Twilight had let it slip

>Grabbing her by her withers, lifting her onto your lap, and turning her around into a full body cuddle had taken less than a second

>And she was absolutely terrified

>"Ah..A-Anon?" was all she choked out

Sshhh

>Her body began shivering, her head frantically swayed from left to right and back as if to see someway out, and you distinctly recall having to wash out that urine stain from your pants

>You don't remember when she started crying, but you let her go a minute or so after

>She merely collapsed into a heap on the floor, visibly ready to bawl her eyes out

>You stooped down to put your hand under her chin, trying to get her attention

Twilight. Look at me.

>Finally her eyes looked back at yours, visibly distraught

Now don't go telling anyone, or I'll do it again. Understand?

>Her eyes widened a bit more, and she nodded her head in short bursts

>Hearing her cries on the way out made you feel the most satisfied you'd ever been since you got here

>And you weren't about to let it stop

 

>You played it safe after the event with Twilight

>It took some willpower, but you knew it would be worth it in the end to not go crazy and hug some pony every day

>The next opportunity arose quicker than anticipated though

>Rainbow Dash needed you to help with a routine

>That poor mare never had a chance

>You waited until she was tired from her displays before making the move

>Snatching up the tired pegasus was easier than lifting Twilight

>There wasn't even any resistance once you had your arms wrapped around her

>You held her for what seemed like forever, no words, movement, or anything else; it was a bit unsatisfying to say the least

>Looking at her face when you put her down though rectified all of that

>She looked so broken with her eyes wide open and the occasional twitching

Let's just act like this never happened, okay? If someone mentions it I might have to hug again, and we don't want that do we?

>If she heard you she made no sign of it, but that's as good a sign as any she could have given

>Alas, the plan to play safe began to fall into shambles

>It seemed every other day some unsuspecting pony would find themselves alone with just you

>Each one responding to hugs in their own ways

>Some would sniffle and cry relentlessly, some would flail around in attempts to get free, and many would release their bladders

>But at some point it just wasn't enough

>Sure half the town was now avoiding you like the plague, and many of those were acting in ways deemed odd by those not in the know

>But you wanted something grand, something big

>Something, or some pony, like Princess Celestia

 

>Getting to the castle from Ponyville was easy

>Finding Celestia alone however, would be risky

>Planting yourself in her private quarters during the day to wait for her return at night should have been a dumb idea, but somehow it worked

>After many boring hours of waiting for the sun to set, she finally arrived

 

>You waited until she had moved into her bath to extract yourself from under her bed

>Quietly walking into her bathing area you spot her lounging, eyes closed, simply soaking in the hot water

>It's abruptly interrupted by you jumping into the water and grasping onto her loins to pull her in close

>"Anonymous! What are you doing?!" she yells as she wildly tries to kick you off with any of her hooves

>She sends errant beams of magic out of her horn, only for them to bounce around the room and destroy some valuable objects

>Her flailing slows down however as she realizes she isn't getting out of your grasp

That's it Princess. Just let it happen.

>Downtrodden, she begins to shiver in the still very warm bath and the beginnings of tears form in her eyes

>However, you are swiftly disrupted by Luna barging in

>"Sister, the guards informed us of a commoti-"

>She stares dumbfounded for a few seconds at you before adopting an aggressive stance with her horn glowing and pointed directly at you

>"Release her at once!"

>Sadistic grin planted firmly on your face, you give her your reply

Do what you must. I've already won.

>Anger fierce in her eyes, Luna magically renders you unconscious

 

>Your eyes take awhile to adjust in the darkness of what must be the dungeon

>Feeling the weight on your ankles reveals they chained you to the wall

>As soon as you bring your eyes up however, you see Celestia standing just out of reach staring daggers at you

>You can only smile at her though; all of your hugs went perfectly and spending the rest of your life in a dungeon was expected

>"I hate you."

Understandable.

>"We found out about the ponies in Ponyville."

About time.

>"You forcibly cuddled over half the town, putting my little ponies through Tartarus, and I hate you for it."

Kinda expected that.

>"And you don't even feel remorse for your actions. You enjoyed doing what you did, and I hate you for that."

Music to my ears.

>"And I hate you the most because.."

>"I want more."

 

 

******************

 

>magickanons

 

 

>Rednon and Blunon go to meet Celestia

 

>"Woah, what kind of bird is that?"

>Celestia adopts a small smile before replying, "Philomena is a phoenix. She's been with me for quite a while."

>"A phoenix? Nice, I got one of those too. Want to see?"

>"I'd love to."

I'm just going to stand over here. Off to the side. You might want to back up too.

>Celestia looks quizzically at Rednon before taking a few steps backwards

>Blunon raises his hands in the air before yelling out "W A F"

>Out of thin air a phoenix appears and makes a small circle around Blunon

>"Oh it's beauti-"

>Before Celestia can finish the phoenix dive bombs Blunon in a small fiery explosion

>"AAaaaaaaaagh," Blunon screams as he runs around directionless and on fire

Told ya.

 

 

>"Aww cheer up Rednon, we actually get to do something good for ponyville."

>"I agree with Greennon, we get to take down a tree! How awesome is that?"

It'd be even more awesome if we weren't having to do this in the fucking rain!

>Your brothers just shake their heads at you

>"Well why else would we need to take the tree down? You heard Twilight, we don't want it to get hit by lightning, or something like that. Dibs on first spell!" Greennon shouts as he runs ahead of the three of you

>"No fair!" Blunon shouts as he starts to chase Greennon further up the road

>You weren't stupid

>This was just some idiotic idea Twilight came up with to get you three out of town

>Just over the hill you find your brothers walking around and inspecting the tree you were tasked to get rid of

>"How about we shoot it with lazers?"

>"Nah, that got old after seeing the Cake's cakes explode a few days ago."

>"What if we set it on fire?"

>Greennon starts rubbing his palms together

>"I like that idea. F," he states before aiming both palms at the tree

>Well, he got the spell combination right, but it's raining, so all that comes out is a tiny flame near his hands that starts churning out a bunch of steam

>Blunon starts laughing, "I can't believe you fell for that. My turn, I'm gonna freeze it and then break it with a rock! R R R R R"

>The spell goes off before Greennon can step away from the tree, and quickly becomes frozen in place

>"D D D D D"

>You look on in apathy as Blunon starts charging his spell, oblivious to the fact that his own brother is in the spells path

>Maybe Twilight is right; maybe you really don't take magic seriously at all

>A loud crunch goes off as a giant boulder flies through both Greennon and the tree

At least rez him, I want to get back to ponyville and out of this rain.

>"Yea yea. A A A A Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh."

>Blunon falls over clutching his chest

>Oh yea, water conducts electricity needed to rez

>Oh well

I wonder what Twilight's up to.

 

 

>The three of you stand in Twilight's den, thankfully out of the rain, and regale her about the destruction of the nefarious tree

>Twilight shakes her head in confusion, "You killed each other?!?! How can you guys be so blase about death?"

>Blunon reaches into his coat and pulls out a wiener on a stick and starts roasting it in Twilight's fireplace

I wouldn't say that. We've met death before. He's a pretty nice guy once you get to know him, even owns a travel agency.

>Twilight stares flabbergasted between you and Greennon, "That's.... I.....What?"

>"Oh oh, can I introduce her?" Greennon starts jumping up and down at the prospect of showing off

Heh, sure, your funeral.

>"No no no, that's really not necessary. I don-"

>"S R RQ R S!" Blunon yells before Twilight can finish her sentence

>In the middle of the room, a large cloaked figure with a scythe appears

>Twilight starts to lay on the ground and begins to cower

>Death slowly moves his head to the side, examining every being in the room

>He stops on Blunon who accidentally caught his wiener roasting arm on fire from being too close

>Swiftly, Death moves right behind Blunon and makes a sweeping motion with his scythe

>"Aaaaaaaaaaaugh," Blunon falls in slow motion to the floor as Death vanishes into thin air

I guess he doesn't feel like talking right now.

 

 

*********

 

>magic muffins

 

 

>*CRASH*

>"Crap crap crap."

>You are Anonymous, the only human in Equestria, and apparently someone is trying to break into your home

>Tip-toeing out of bed and grabbing your trusty bat, you sneak your way out of your bedroom

>Peering from around a corner you can barely make out some pegasus in the dark, kneeling over something

>"Maybe I can fix this before he wakes up.."

>Fat chance

>With a flick of your wrist you hit the light switch on the wall and ready your bat for whoever decided to rob you at this god forsaken hour

Derpy?

>She jumps a bit into the air and quickly turns around to face you with a guilty smile

>"Heh heh, hey Anon..."

What are you doing?

>Her head moves from side to side, eyes glancing anywhere they can

>"I was umm... I was, uhh, just looking for..."

>You take a step closer to her and lower your voice even more

Derpy. Tell me what you're doing here.

>Her withers slump as she lowers her head

>"I wanted to surprise you. And now its ruined."

>You cock your head to the side a bit

Huh?

>She steps to the side, revealing a fallen baking pan, "I made you muffins! And I wanted to surprise you at breakfast... But then I dropped em and woke you up and now the muffins are ruined."

>Tears start to make there way out of Derpy's eyes as she just sits staring at your floor

>Putting your bat down, you sit down and bring the clumsy pegasus off the floor and into your lap

It's Okay. I forgive you.

>"B-but muh muffins!"

I'll still eat em. Look, only a couple fell out of the pan, most of them never touched the floor.

>"I guess.."

>Maybe eating one in front of her will cheer her up

>You reach over and take one of the raisin muffins out of the pan and swiftly bite a large piece off

See? I'll still eat em. These are good too, I'd say better than Pinkie's.

>Derpy's eyes go wide as you swallow

>"But Anon! You can't eat those now, they're for breakfast!"

>A light chuckle escapes your lips

I'm just having one. Nothing wrong with a midnight snack.

>Wait

>Why do you feel like you can see both sides of the room?

>And why are Derpy's eyes straight?

>And why is your table doing a little jig?

Derpy? What'd you put in these?

>"Mmmm," Derpy's head seems to grow in size before deflating back down, "Just the stuff I always put in my muffins. Why?"

>But you're not listening

>A sudden euphoria fills your vision as the world around you just seems to fade away into the night

>You find yourself flying through the sky superman style with a stupidly large grin on your face

>A pair of racing clouds come up beside you on both sides of your periphery

>Without warning you take off, speeding ahead of them, flying straight into a large piece of green jello

>"Anon!"

>You turn around to see a giant Twilight staring at you through the jello

Hey Twilight! How are you?

>"Anon! You were flying too fast. I have to take your temperature to make sure you don't spy on me."

Well if you say so.

>Stepping out of the blue jello you run to pick Twilight up into a hug

Your fur is so soft..

>Nuzzling her face with yours, you use as much of your body as you can to caress Twilight

>Your tongue reaches out to taste the Popsicle that is Twilight's horn

>As soon as your tongue touches though you receive an electric shock and the world goes black

 

>Groggily opening your eyes you're greeted by a purple unicorn with a worried expression on her face

>"Anon? Are you Okay?"

Ugh. What happened?

>"Oh thank goodness. You were out of control! You woke almost everyone up in Ponyville, screaming at the top of your lungs that you were the best around. Lyra tried to stop you, but then you grabbed her horn and started talking about being some pokey man trainer."

Dude...

>"Then Rainbow Dash tried to get you to stop but you just started licking her wings. I had to zap you and bring you inside so everypony could go to sleep! What in Equestria were you doing?"

>A wiry smile creeps up your face

Let's go to my house and we can discuss it over muffins.

 

 

 

*********

 

>Cyber surgeon Anon forcibly upgrades as many ponies as he can. He giggles everytime someone says "I didn't ask for this"

 

 

>You are Anonymous, greatest augment surgeon in ALL of Equestria, and you are taking a casual stroll through the market

>It's not often you get days like this to wander around and see the ponies going about their lives

>In fact it's quite enjoyable to listen in on the conversations around you

>"..tried helping AJ out. I wish I could do more, but I just can't buck as hard. She looked disappointed when I left."

>Alas, your relaxing day must be cut short, as duty calls

>You make your way over to the stallion and carefully inject him some sedatives; he's lucky you always carry some around with you!

>Before he can fall completely to the ground you lift him up onto your shoulder and start the trek to your lab

>The other ponies just stare as you pass

Let's fix your problem shall we?

>Unfortunately your guest makes no response as you begin the procedure..

 

>"Huh... Wha? Where am I?"

Welcome back my friend! Your augments came out beautifully. I dare say it's some of my best work.

>He slowly stands up on the table and begins inspecting his hooves first

>"I don't see anything. What did you do?" he asks as his search becomes more frantic

Ah. Eager to marvel at its splendor are we? I don't blame you. If you would take a look a bit more... southern, you'll find your enhanced and state of the art *ahem* package deal.

>He stops looking around his body and opens up his hind legs more

>His stallion-hood comes into full view as his eyes open as wide as possible

Behold! The buck-master 5000. It retains all the old functions of your penis, but ALSO comes with more girth, width, extra ridges for optimal mare pleasure, the ability to vibrate, control over whether or not your sperm come out in ejaculation, AND the ability to extend to replicate thrusting even after you're too tired to continue. It was unusually challenging to get it to sheathe, but I-

>"I was talking about apple bucking! I never asked for this!"

>You start cackling maniacally

HAHAHAHA, neither did the readers!